When we hear the word “don’t care”, our imagination imagines an indifferent and callous person, focused only on his own selfishness. However, the concept of “not giving a damn” is much broader. He can be healthy and unhealthy
In the first case, such a trait makes a person’s life easier, but does not prevent him from being kind, honest and open. In the case of unhealthy indifference, an individual cannot put his life in order and, as a result, harms not only himself, but also those around him.
How can you develop indifference in the good sense of the word?
Healthy and unhealthy indifference: what's the difference?
A person with healthy indifference is by no means an infantile and indifferent person. He doesn't hide from problems and is always honest with himself. Even with inaction in some situation, he continues to internally analyze and work on himself. A person is able to adequately evaluate his feelings and accept himself as real.
Unhealthy indifference consists in the inability to learn useful lessons from difficult situations, as well as an escape from one’s essence. Such a person who doesn’t give a damn not only brushes aside negative events, but also does not fully understand them and does not know how to learn from his mistakes. He always has unfinished business and relationships, he does not develop as a person. Roughly speaking, his life is complete chaos and chaos.
Do what you like
A person should not be afraid to do what he loves. Even if you can't do anything today, it doesn't mean you won't learn a new skill tomorrow. How to develop healthy indifference? You need to work on it every day. You should find time every day to do what you love. Let it be just 30 minutes a day at first. Then you can increase the time to an hour, and then study for 2-3 hours. At any age, a person can master any specialization. Yes, it is possible that in some areas a person will not be able to receive awards and medals, but what he loves, first of all, is the pleasure of the process. Do you want to dance? Go to the nearest fitness center, join a group and find like-minded people. Do you want to become an actor? Take acting classes and start acting in any theater group. It's never too late to take up your favorite activity, remember this.
What are the advantages of healthy not giving a fuck?
A person with healthy indifference will not panic or become depressed. At the very least, he will simply observe others, learning useful lessons from their successes and mistakes. A person who doesn't care doesn't worry or get upset about little things; he's always in a good mood. In all his actions, he is guided only by common sense and does not allow others to take advantage of him. At the same time, a healthy person who doesn’t care is not a manipulator. He is capable of sincere friendship and sympathy.
Rational people who don't give a damn don't worry about things they can't change. They don't look at the world through rose-colored glasses, they just approach life more simply. As a result, life shows them its bright side. They do not care about people; on the contrary, they are ready to help those who really need them. However, a person who doesn’t care will not take on a task in which he knows nothing.
If you can change it, change it; if you can’t, don’t worry.
The art of healthy not giving a fuck is based on one simple rule: if something can be changed in a situation, then you need to make every effort to achieve your goal. Let's look at it with an example. A man is late for work and worries about his lateness. He is traveling in a minibus and it is simply beyond his power to eliminate traffic jams. Is there any point in being nervous and worried in this situation? No. You will only fray your nerves and achieve nothing. Your anxiety will not clear up traffic jams or speed up your trip. What can be done? Call work and say you'll be late. After the call, let go of the situation. Why worry about something that cannot be changed? Life without stress is much more enjoyable. You need to learn to accept the situation and act decisively. If you can't change anything, calm down and go with the flow, optimistically believing that whatever happens is for the best.
How to become a healthy don't care?
You can become a don’t give a fuck in the good sense of the word by following a few tips:
Not caring is not a synonym for indifference. A person who doesn't care assesses reality adequately, while an indifferent person simply turns a blind eye to it. In addition, external indifference does not always mean internal peace. Often unhealthy people who don't give a damn suffer from mental imbalance.
You need to get rid of anxiety and the habit of doubting everything. In a situation with a negative connotation, it is better to call a friend and discuss the problem with him than to sit and stew in your own juice. An outside perspective often helps to find the right solution.
It is worth reconsidering your views on the words “should” and “must”. Do not rush to perform actions that relatives and friends force you to do. It is worth paying attention to the opinions of others, and making decisions only after a sober independent analysis.
It doesn’t always make sense to express and fiercely defend your opinion. There are times when it is better to remain silent. Defend your position only when there is a threat to your interests and freedom.
Give up absolute perfectionism. It is impossible to become perfect, and in pursuit of ideals a person is divorced from reality. Evaluate yourself and your capabilities adequately. Learn to be happy with what you have.
Even in critical situations, try to switch to something else. This will save you from nervous burnout. Learn to relax. In order for the brain to work quickly and correctly, it needs relaxation and rest from time to time.
A person who doesn't care knows how to control his emotions. This is not an insensitive person, but simply a person who knows how to enjoy pleasant moments and discard unnecessary worries. He managed to find inner harmony.
If you feel a panic attack coming on, set yourself a fun challenge, such as finding five objects of the same color in a room or remembering five countries with a certain letter. The ability to be distracted will help you quickly find your bearings at the right moment.
Stop reacting violently to everything you hear addressed to you. Try not to notice criticism and not respond to it. Learn to calmly filter the words of others - take into account useful advice and ignore caustic remarks.
How to become a non-giveer: 8 tips
You can often hear that the real secret of success is not titanic hard work and perseverance, but such a quality as not giving a damn.
For example, we may hear a story about how a colleague called the boss a bunch of piquant obscene words and, nevertheless, received a promotion. Most likely, you came across people in your life who did not care at all about the opinions of others, principles and rules, and they still achieved wonderful results in their lives. How to become a person who doesn’t give a damn, so that it doesn’t turn out that our efforts turn against us? Let's consider several methods.
Embrace uncertainty
Being a don't care does not mean being completely indifferent. Those who are indifferent are likely too afraid within themselves to perceive things as they are. In order to stop worrying about everything, you need to accept the uncertainty of life. Instead of worrying about tomorrow, it is better to enjoy the unknown: after all, we can never know what happiness may await us around the corner. This attitude towards life will help to reveal those opportunities that, due to excessive concern, previously seemed unnoticed. Becoming a non-giver also means freeing up enough energy to achieve your desired goals and take care of what is truly important to you.
See also
: 6 reasons why you should accept life as it is
To communicate with people
Call a friend and talk about your worries. This conversation will help you determine whether the things that are consuming your emotional energy are actually worth thinking about. The view of another person will help you assess the situation more soberly. And also a loved one will help you objectively assess your strengths and capabilities.
Create your own rules, do not live according to the orders of others
Those who are forever forced to obey the instructions of society will ultimately themselves become hostages of endless “shoulds” and “shoulds.” And if you make the same demands on others, you may even be considered a complete bore - but not a carer.
Get rid of perfectionism
In general, if you are thinking about how to become an indifference, then you should disown this quality in every possible way. After all, these people – a perfectionist and a don’t care – represent two different poles. The passion for impeccability and perfection is most often a consequence of the fact that in childhood a person was disliked by his parents and was not accepted by them for who he is. The most successful people rarely grow up to be excellent students as children. Those who studied with C grades, were lenient about their weaknesses and at the same time knew how to enjoy life at a tender age - these are the ones who achieve success in adulthood. Therefore, monitor manifestations of perfectionism in your actions and sometimes give yourself the will to do at least a “B” job.
Be able to be distracted by other things
If you find yourself in a state of anxiety, when you urgently need a dose of adequate indifference, urgently switch to another activity. It should be completely unrelated to the issue that is currently relevant to you. This method will be most effective if you choose the most exciting activity for you. This could be an extremely interesting film or book, a hiking trip, or a visit to the dolphinarium.
Trust your emotions less
All our experiences, which sometimes rage like a storm, are precisely the indicator that distinguishes sensitive people from calm people who don’t care, enjoying the moment. Emotions are only a short-term reaction to the same short-term events. Since nothing lasts forever, try, even in a situation that makes your knees tremble, to abstract yourself from your experiences. This is easy to do: you don’t need to plunge into them like a whirlpool with your head. Instead, while your knees continue to shake, try to find ten green objects around you. Then list the names of ten cities starting with the letter “K” (or any other name you like). Think of such mental “entertainments” for yourself in advance so that you can use them at the right time.
Don't take things personally
Those who overreact to the people around them and their opinions are doomed only to fruitless dreams of not giving a damn. Those who constantly take everything too close to their hearts have a high chance of becoming patients in the neurosis clinic, but not happy people who don’t give a damn. You don’t need to think too long about what opinion your work colleague expressed about your dress this morning. The negative reaction of others is most often due to dissatisfaction with one’s own life. Instead of dwelling too long on someone’s psychological projection, take care of the affairs of notorious people who don’t give a damn. Namely, enjoy the current moment and find something that will bring you pleasure and joy right now.
Do not miss:
How to stop paying attention to the opinions of others?
Do fitness
The best way to not give a damn in life is to make yourself one on a physiological level. This is what physical exercise does. During stress on the body, the level of certain hormones increases, which are responsible for the subjective feeling of happiness. In addition, sport helps you look better, which means your self-esteem rises. If you find it difficult to collect your thoughts during exercise, turn on your favorite music louder and do the exercises with even greater diligence. When you challenge the capabilities of your body, your mind no longer has a chance to mull over unimportant events or situations in your head.
Giving up on everything and becoming a real indifference is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. All these life attitudes, which are inherent in truly self-loving people who don’t give a damn, should only be firmly rooted in behavior through daily practice. And it doesn’t matter if others seem too narcissistic or selfish. After all, now you have begun to live your own, and therefore real, life.
What does not giving a fuck mean in a relationship?
Unhealthy people who don't give a damn run the risk of being left without a relationship at all, because they are focused only on themselves and do not know how to meet a loved one halfway. With such a partner you cannot feel comfort and calm; communication with him is painful. The desire to make a person happy must be mutual, otherwise such love will fly with one wing and will eventually break.
When is not giving a fuck useful in a relationship? It is worth resorting to if a partner is trying to manipulate or artificially inflating passions. Here you need to analyze your relationship and understand why it came to this. Sometimes a partner’s restraint and external calm do not lead to an improvement in the relationship, but only to the fact that the loved one sits on his head.
Reproaches and accusations may fall on the newly minted don’t care. Then the person begins to feel guilty and does not know what to do. In this case, internal suffering turns out to be much worse than the emotions splashed out.
If you want to become a healthy non-giveer, you must prepare to work hard on yourself. This will not be easy, because you will have to change the attitudes that have been formed since childhood. But a happy life is a reward worth fighting for!
Stop worrying about anything, look at the world with different eyes. There is a place in it not only for problems, negativity and suspicion, but also for elementary joy. Beauty is everywhere, you just need to be able to notice it.
Take everything easier
How to become a don't care? You need to stop beating yourself up. The easiest way to do this is to stop predicting your future and worrying about it. Try to come to terms with the idea that you will like any lesson that fate gives you. Whatever she gives you, you will accept any outcome. Such a simple attitude towards life helps a person to calm down and start living for today. If you don’t think too much about tomorrow, life will become easy and beautiful. This does not mean that long-term planning should be abandoned completely. You just need to understand that plans may not come true. This fact should not upset you. Will the plan fail? You will compose a new one. Are you afraid that you will be fired from your job? What to fear, you can definitely find yourself any other place and, perhaps, even with a higher salary. Without worrying too much about the future, it will be easier for you to live in the present.
