Congruence theory by P. Osgood and P. Tannenbaum

Congruence in psychology - this is when your actions, words and everything connected with you are in agreement and in accordance with each other.

Let's look at a more detailed definition.

Congruence is the consistency of your thoughts, words and actions with each other. That is, this is the complete correspondence of your verbal and non-verbal signals to each other. As a rule, it comes from a state of internal harmony and comfort of a person with himself.

This concept itself was invented by the American psychologist Carl Rogers .

In English, the term is written and sounds like " congruence [ˈkɔŋgrʊəns] ".

Synonyms are the words: authenticity, genuineness .

Each person you talk to has little mechanisms that look at what you say and determine whether you are the person you say you are or not.

Why is it so important?

What does congruence give?

All the benefits and benefits

Congruence gives you the following benefits:

Allows you to be natural and be yourself. Projection of the real self.
Don't feel pressure from others.
A healthy ecosystem of emotions.
Be relaxed and feel good.
Sincere and attractive presentation and expression of oneself.
Less effort and less unnecessary energy expenditure.

The formula for self-confidence is when every action you take is consistent with your thoughts, emotions and your ideal life.

How to achieve it

How to develop this quality in yourself:

Be sincere and honest with yourself and everyone around you. This is the main position.
When communicating with people, don’t try at all, don’t make any effort.
Be as natural as possible.
Do not change your tone of voice and do not adapt to someone else's tone and manner of speech.
Don't resist your current state! Accept it completely.
Don't close or hide your emotions.

Sincerity and honesty towards yourself and everyone around you is the key

Communicate with all people sincerely and honestly. In any case, answer people's questions honestly.

This is super important.

It is very easy to start lying to yourself and other people.

The question is that many men and women on this planet do not think about the fact that if you start lying even at a microscopic moment, this is already a path that makes you feel worse .

The point is that if you are sincere and honest with yourself and the people around you, then you cannot feel bad about it. There is nothing in this paradigm that will have a bad effect on you.

Then all questions about what congruence is are immediately closed. Because if there is internal harmony, then no one will destroy it.

From here, the corresponding correct words and actions will be generated from the correct state.

What is it like to communicate with a congruent person?

How to easily recognize congruent and genuine people during communication, what qualities they possess:

A congruent person is, first of all, one who never lies or lies to others.
Such a person is attractive and inspires trust.
Such people want to open up , because you are also drawn into his sincere and open communication without falsehood.
Such a person knows how to easily find a common language with other people.

The more you match the behavior that is most authentic and natural to you now, the more people will trust you, because they see who you are.

Congruent relationships with people are, first of all, relationships built on complete sincerity, openness and trust in each other.

For example

Let's look at examples of congruent behavior:

If a person is really in a relaxed mood, and in his words and presentation he corresponds to his state and energy, then in this case there will be congruent communication and natural communication.
If a person is truly at high energy and his words and actions fully correspond to this, then the person will also be congruent. In general, there is nothing wrong with high energy.
I'll give another example of a guy's congruence towards an unfamiliar girl . The guy sees this girl, he really likes her and is attracted to him. He approaches her and immediately speaks of his intentions. He openly says that he is very attracted to the girl, that she is very pretty and he likes her. He doesn't fuss, doesn't beat around the bush, doesn't talk about strange and inappropriate things. The guy simply sincerely shows his intentions and desires , without hiding anything.

We describe in more detail how a guy can naturally communicate and get to know a girl without wasting energy, here at the link.

The concept of congruence in psychology

So what does congruence mean in psychology?

Congruence

- this is the coincidence of a person’s internal feelings and sensations with their external manifestations (that is, the correspondence of verbal and non-verbal).

Congruent Behavior

Let's look at some illustrative examples. A person who is in a relaxed, harmonious mood usually matches his inner state in words and gestures and is congruent. The same situation applies to people who are full of energy and “broadcast” to the world what they feel.

A simple example: a guy sees a girl, she arouses his obvious sympathy - he approaches her smiling, talks about his interest, offers an acquaintance. There would be no talk of congruence if he pointedly ignored her, fussed, became embarrassed, and averted his eyes. On the contrary, he manifests his intentions and desires with his appearance and words.

Another example: a waiter greets you in a restaurant, smiling kindly and informing you that they are glad to see you. This is congruence. The opposite case: you are told that your visit is welcome, but the whole appearance of the waiter suggests that his thoughts are elsewhere, his eyes indifferently gliding over you - the words are at odds with reality.

Congruent person

It is not difficult to recognize such a person.

Distinctive character traits:

does not lie to others;
inspires confidence, attractive;
makes you want to open up, you succumb to his peculiarities, you begin to be frank in response;
easily finds a common language with others.

The more you demonstrate your true feelings, the more likely you are to receive an appropriate response. Seeing you for real, people will trust more easily, the relationship will become stronger and will be built on mutual trust and openness.

Congruence in communication

Is congruence always appropriate in communication? No. A person who has low values and an increased level of irritability must control himself and not always demonstrate his feelings - this can cause harm to both him and others.

Congruence may contradict etiquette, business efficiency, and other areas of life. Sometimes certain emotions seem inappropriate and harm the cause. Example: before public speaking, many people are afraid to go on stage and feel panic. Is it worth showing? No, you shouldn't. There are many such examples.

Rogers illustrated his ideas with clear examples. Imagine that someone, while discussing with a partner, feels irritated and angry, which is visible in his reactions and behavior. The person himself is not aware of this, believing that he is only defending his beliefs. There is a discrepancy in self-perception and belief.

Or imagine: the evening passed in boring company, you regret wasting your time, you realize that you are unhappy with the meeting. When parting, you say: “I relaxed very well. It was a wonderful evening, it needs to be repeated.” There is a discrepancy between words and experiences.

Rogers believed that misalignment leads to stress and may require psychotherapeutic intervention. A mature person is congruent and is able to be aware of his own feelings and behave in accordance with his experiences and thoughts.

Congruent Relationships

How does congruence, or lack thereof, manifest in relationships? Let's say you wanted to become the owner of a tea set for your birthday, and your friends gave you a set of bed linen. You reluctantly smile, thank and say that the gift is simply wonderful. You understand the feelings of disappointment that arise, but do not demonstrate them. There was an obvious contradiction between the psychological aspect and ethics.

Rogers believed that congruence gives the individual inner harmony. A person does not deceive himself and others, does not suppress anything in himself, is aware of the desires that arise, and does not remain silent about them. Another facet: by communicating all our thoughts and desires, sometimes we cause discomfort. You cannot do without a balance point in the modern world.

Congruence is often mentioned in the context of relations between the sexes and is often found in the theoretical discussions of pick-up artists. Seducers who ponder ways to conquer women are sure that the principle of “openness, honesty” is an important quality of an alpha male. And yet the principle operates only at certain moments. The pickup artist cannot use it, actually experiencing fear of rejection, embarrassment or uncertainty.

Congruent relationships are possible in rare cases - when partners crave it and reject any “sweet lies”. Example: a couple is walking along an alley and sees a beautiful and impressive woman. Most wives would prefer that their husband not pay attention to a random passerby, and most husbands will pretend that this is what happened. With congruence, the man will carefully examine the stranger and share with his wife an enthusiastic opinion about her. This is acceptable in some couples, but not in all.

Reasons for incongruent actions in people

Trying hard in front of others

A person tries to impress and uses too high a tone, although this does not correspond to his inner calm state.

He speaks too quickly, tries too hard, and puts in unnecessary effort. He can do this both consciously and unconsciously.

A person cannot maintain such communication for a long time, because this is his incongruent state. If he was really wound up and had a high emotional high, then he would be congruent.

Trying not to try

Overly playful communication, trying to appear relaxed and smooth in front of people, although you are not - this is incongruence on your part.

For example, you try to make your voice too low in front of a girl when yours is actually louder.

The problem is that if you forcefully struggle to maintain high energy and a strong presentation of yourself, then you will quickly get tired and will not be able to communicate like that for a long period of time.

As a result, you will eventually begin to leak yourself, or your interlocutor will do it.

Carl Rogers' Law of Congruence

Of particular importance in business communication is the law of congruence, most thoroughly developed in the concept of the American psychologist Carl Rogers -

one of the founders of humanistic psychology.
Unlike Freud and Jung, Carl Rogers, when considering the psyche of the individual, relies on the principle of its self-actualization 3.
3 See: Rogers K.R.

A look at psychotherapy. The Becoming of Man: Transl. from English - M.: Progress, 1994. - P. 77.

According to this principle, the main motive of a person’s behavior is the desire for self-actualization. It consists in the realization by a person of his abilities in order to preserve life, make himself stronger, and life more satisfying.

Self-actualization occurs through struggle and overcoming obstacles in personal and social life. She is more characterized by openness and self-reliance, rather than inertia or defensive psychological reactions.

Self-actualization of the individual also occurs in interpersonal communication, where the processes of assessment, understanding and empathy can lead to closer psychological interaction. At the same time, communication is freer when both partners have a correspondence of experience, awareness and message. Congruence means the exact “matching of experience, awareness and message.” 1

1 See: Rogers K.R.

A look at psychotherapy. The Becoming of Man: Transl. from English -M.: Progress, 1994. - P. 401.

The more partner A

perceives communication on the part of partner
B
as a correspondence of experience, awareness and message, the more their subsequent interaction will correspond to psychological consistency and mutual satisfaction 2.

2 Ibid. P. 407.

This is how Carl Rogers formulates the law of congruence. At the same time, he notes that ignoring this law leads to a deterioration in psychological consistency in the actions of both partners.

Review questions

1. What are the features of the mental structure of personality in Freud’s psychoanalysis?

2. What systems of mental structure does Freud identify in his model of personality?

3. What is the difference between “conscious” and “mental”?

4. What is the significance of the unconscious for the practice of business communication?

5. How do psychological defense mechanisms work in business communication?

6. What is the “collective unconscious” and what is its role in the analytical psychology of C. G. Jung?

7. Explain the relationship between mental systems in the concept of mental structure by C. G. Jung.

8. How does Jung interpret the manifestation of conscience in business communication?

9. What is synchronicity, how does it manifest itself in partnerships?

10 What role do Persona and Shadow play in business communication?

11. Highlight the main differences between partners with extroverted and introverted attitudes.

12. How do thinking, feeling, emotional and intuitive types of partners manifest themselves in business communication?

13. What is the content of the law of congruence and what is its role in business communication?

Literature

1. Godefroy J.

What is psychology. In 2 volumes. T. 2: Trans. from French - M.: Mir, 1992.

2. Kroeger O., Tewson J.M.

Types of people and business: Per. from English - M.: Perseus, 1995.

3. Psychological Dictionary. - M.: Pedagogy, 1996.

4. Rogers K.R.

A look at psychotherapy. The Becoming of Man: Transl. from English - M.: Progress, 1994.

5 Rose S.

Memory device. From molecules to consciousness: Transl. from English - M.: Mir, 1995.

6. Filatova E.

Socionics for you. — Novosibirsk: Siberian Chronograph, 1-994.

7. Freud Sigmund

Psychoanalysis and Russian thought. - M.: Republic, 1994.

8. Jung K.G.

Analytical psychology. Past and present. - M.: Martis, 1995.

9. Jung K.G.

Problems of the soul of our time: Trans. with him. - M.: Progress/Univers, 1994.

CHAPTER 4

Deep reasons, what is the root cause of everything

Let's look at the underlying causes of incongruity:

People try to demonstrate high-status behavior when communicating, actually have high status
At first, a person may be able to retain this behavior, but after a while it no longer works.
The reason is that you don't have this high value, and you don't like it, and you resist it!

This is the reason for the emergence of internal resistance.

When you resist what is, you become incongruent.

How to regain a girl's self-confidence: informed and wise tips for women on how to gain self-confidence.
How to become a liberated person: an article about how to overcome shyness in communication, how to get rid of shyness and modesty.
We describe how to build a relationship between a guy and a girl with complete mutual understanding, trust and sincerity at this link.

How to solve a problem - a useful exercise

Develop this high-status behavior and build it in the most natural and natural way.

The exercise of “non-resistance” is useful for developing congruence.

Choose a quiet, calm place and communicate with all the people there. Be completely yourself and don't resist anything.

The key to the exercise is that when you feel the need to do something that you don't want to do, you still DON'T do it.

Main key points of this exercise:

If you are nervous, it means you are NOT trying to hide your nervousness and are letting it come out. You express it verbally or non-verbally, through gestures.
You should not and are not obliged to say or do anything forcibly.
Whatever you feel , you naturally speak and voice it.
After 20 minutes of communicating with different groups of people, you will feel the fire. Your brain will wake up and be carried away by this process. Read more about how to be passionate about the process and motivation here.
The benefit is that instead of playing someone else's role, you are yourself .
At first there will be awkwardness because your brain is not awake. It's all simple.
Ask yourself: How am I feeling right now? – and correspond to this state.
Your brain wakes up and engages from this natural and congruent position. The brain understands that people accept your natural state and who you are at the moment .
Don't run away or leave the interaction too early. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions.
Don't resist anything!

Congruence

Equivalence relation on a geometric set. figures (segments, angles, etc.). It is introduced either axiomatically (see Hilbert's system of axioms) or on the basis of some group of transformations, most often movements. Thus, in Euclidean geometry (and in general in the geometry of spaces of constant curvature) two figures are called. congruent and, or equal, if one of them can be transferred to the other by movement. M. I. Voitsekhovsky.

Source: Mathematical Encyclopedia on Gufo.me

Meanings in other dictionaries

CONGRUENCE - (from the English congruence) - authenticity, openness, honesty; one of the 3 “necessary and sufficient conditions” for effective psychotherapeutic contact (along with empathy and non-judgmental positive acceptance) ... Large psychological dictionary
Congruence - (from Latin congruens, genus congruentis - proportionate, corresponding, coinciding) a geometric term used to denote the equality of segments, angles, triangles and other figures and bodies in elementary geometry. Concept... Great Soviet Encyclopedia
Congruence - (in pedagogical technology) the degree of coincidence of gestures with the teacher’s speech statements in the process of teaching. communication. (Kodzhaspirova G.M. Pedagogical dictionary. - M., 2005. P. 63) Pedagogical terminological dictionary
congruence - Congruent/n/ost/. Morphemic-spelling dictionary
congruence - spelling congruence, -and Lopatin's Spelling Dictionary
congruence - congruence g. Distraction noun according to adj. congruent Efremova's Explanatory Dictionary
congruence - -i, f. A geometric term denoting the equality of segments, angles, triangles and other figures and bodies. Small academic dictionary
CONGRUENCE - CONGRUENCE, equivalence of size and shape. Congruent are those geometric shapes that completely coincide when superimposed. If the figures need to be changed (changed scale or mirrored) to completely match, they are called similar. Scientific and technical dictionary
congruence - Congruence, congruence, congruence, congruence, congruence, congruence, congruence, congruence, congruence, congruence, congruence, congruence Zaliznyak's Grammar Dictionary

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