It is very difficult to make a person who has been deceived by you believe you. How to regain the trust of a guy who has repeatedly caught you in lies, especially if he is a supporter of open and honest relationships? How to regain your husband's trust if the family boat is wrecked due to a woman's infidelity? It’s not for nothing that they say that “the sword does not cut off a guilty head,” and many women are ready, having confessed, to return everything back.
If we consider that after a lie, men, for the most part, do not even want to look in the direction of the woman who betrayed them, a reasonable answer suggests itself - there is no point in trying. However, the hope of restoring the relationship makes women think again and again about how to regain the trust of their loved one.
How to gain the trust of a girl you like
In order for a girl to start trusting you, you need to always be honest with her. Honesty should concern not only words, but also thoughts, actions and manifestations of feelings.
It is necessary that the girl whose trust you are trying to win sees your true face. There should be no falsehood in your relationship; try to show your emotions when you are tired, annoyed, happy or offended. The main advice is just be yourself!
To gain a girl's trust, it is imperative to get to know her well. It is important to see in her not only a beautiful and smiling girl, but also to get to know her inner world. Be sure to learn to listen to her, try to empathize with her experiences, and try not to do what she doesn’t like.
To gain trust, the most important condition is constant communication and joint solution of various kinds of everyday problems. At the same time, remember that when asking provocative questions during a dialogue, there is a high probability of a response question of the same nature that is to be answered. Therefore, be very careful when asking questions to your significant other.
Any relationship is always full of various controversial situations that can cause a serious scandal. You should take into account the fact that during a scandal, girls are very sensitive, so in a quarrel it is better to immediately take a neutral position and carefully lead her to the fact that you think differently.
Do not show aggression under any circumstances, since in this case it will be extremely difficult to gain or regain the girl’s trust. Psychologists advise, first of all, to listen to the girl’s opinion, and only after that bring your own, strongest arguments in this regard.
If you manage to follow these tips, there is a high probability that soon your relationship will be full of care, trust and tenderness.
To win a girl's trust, try:
Be faithful, justify her trust. Do not tell her secrets to anyone, and under no circumstances convey her words to the people about whom they are spoken. And most importantly, everything that happens between you must be a secret. None of your friends should know the details of your relationship, no matter how your friends try to persuade you to tell you any impressions about the girl. If you let it slip, it could be the end of the relationship. Also, always take your girlfriend's side in her conflicts and quarrels if they happen. Even if she is wrong a thousand times, she is your girlfriend, which means you should be at the same time with her.
Be her friend. Girls want to see a guy next to them, with whom they are not ashamed to walk around the city and have something to talk about. This is not a whim. The subtle female nature makes them look for support in reliable and strong guys, but at the same time strive for beauty. Become an interlocutor for her.
It is not necessary to conquer a girl with your intellect; sometimes it is enough to just listen to her silently, periodically maintaining a conversation. The effect will be unexpected and rapid. At the very least, you will quickly become good friends. The neatness and decent appearance of a young man are also welcome.
Don't be greedy. If you are not an oligarch, not the son of an oligarch, and are unlikely to get rich in the near future, do not despair. After all, you don’t want to buy your favorite girl at a good price? Your task is to let her know that you don’t feel sorry for anything for her.
That you are ready to spend any “free” amount on taking her to a cafe or a rock concert, giving her inexpensive but stylish jewelry, or simply buying a bar of chocolate to discreetly put it in your beloved’s pocket with a short declaration of love. From such a touching confession, her heart will melt in your hands, like that very chocolate. The main thing is for the girl to understand that generosity will not end with the end of the courtship period.
Do things for her. Girls value active guys who are capable of action. This could be a sign of attention (a bouquet of roses at recess), a broad gesture (a very large bouquet of roses), a feat of “personal scale” (rescue from hooligans) or unexpected help in a difficult life situation (helped raise money for an emergency operation for one of her loved ones). The main thing is not to sit idly by, but to look for ways to attract attention and perform an “action”.
How to gain trust after a quarrel: concrete steps
If a man is thinking about how to regain trust in a relationship after a quarrel, he needs to study specific steps and actions that will certainly help achieve what he wants. What advice can psychologists give in such situations?
- It is necessary to regularly compliment a woman, emphasizing that she is the only one, and the man cannot live without her.
- To make amends, you can fulfill the long-standing desire of your soulmate. Do something unexpected or just pleasant.
- You should get rid of those bad habits that have long irritated the lady.
- It is necessary to show in all your actions the changes that have occurred in your character.
- To consolidate the result, you should distract the woman and take her on vacation. Even a short trip can be beneficial for a relationship.
In such a difficult situation, a woman usually expects actions and active actions from a man. Therefore, the worst thing a representative of the stronger sex can do is demonstrate indifference or laziness. In this case, the quarrel will only worsen, and the risk of separation will increase.
How to earn a girl's trust after cheating or a quarrel
First of all, don't play with each other's feelings. This will not lead to anything good. This means that you should always tell the truth, no matter how bitter it may be. Even if your relationship is in danger of breaking down, you will know for sure that your conscience is clear, you did not lie;
Try to ask for forgiveness for those actions that caused the girl’s upset. You need to ask for forgiveness as sincerely as you tell her about your love. Women's intuition is very highly developed, so she will immediately catch insincerity;
In case of conflicts, don’t even think about yelling at her or, God forbid, raising your hand to her. This is the end;
To earn a girl's trust, constantly be real with your girl, the way you really are. Because over time, you will still get tired of playing the “role”, and when this moment comes, the girl who believed you will be even more painful;
Always try to be someone you can rely on. Do some repairs in a timely manner, buy what you need, water the flowers. Feed the cat;
Always do what you promise. This means, never promise what you cannot deliver. We girls really understand that you are not all superheroes and we see you as real. Better do what you can;
If it really happened that the girl has lost trust in you, and you sincerely value your relationship, then find a way to explain everything to her, as it is and why you did this. Yes, it's difficult, but it will be the right thing and will help you earn the girl's trust again.
Restoring trust after betrayal
Men often wonder how to regain the trust of their girlfriend after cheating? In such situations, you don’t need to expect lightning-fast results from your actions. Adultery is an extremely serious reason not only for a quarrel, but also for further separation. That is why you need to act carefully. Psychologists advise using the following techniques:
- mistrust needs to be overcome, and for this a man should remove all passwords from his computer and phone. At any moment, the girl will be able to check her partner’s messages and calls, making sure of his fidelity;
- it is also necessary to erase the numbers of other women who may cause jealousy and photographs with them;
- with all your behavior you will have to show indifference to other female representatives for several weeks, or even months;
- It is recommended to regularly arrange romantic meetings for your beloved and have dinners by candlelight;
- you should also tell your significant other everything that happens during the day, without hiding a single detail from her.
At the same time, psychologists advise not to answer compromising questions about betrayal. If a girl demands any details, she should be convinced that that moment was a mistake, solely the urge of the body, and not the soul. A woman can forgive physical betrayal, but she is unlikely to be able to forget spiritual betrayal.
Less mystery
Psychologist and relationship consultant, PhD Michelle Callahan advises inviting a girl to meetings with friends or colleagues. Even if you have purely platonic friendships with other women, your friend may worry about them. But a joint meeting will help get rid of her unreasonable jealousy: she will see that Zinochka from your work is much less like Marilyn Monroe than on the phone. When meeting with friends, try to just be yourself, or at least the same as you are alone with her. Otherwise she will suspect you of duplicity.
Try to make joint decisions
"Show her that you can be relied upon and that you value her opinion," says Laura Lachis, PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at Redeemer University College in Canada. For example, when you invite her (a girl, not an assistant professor) somewhere in the evening, choose her favorite place, and not the bowling alley where you usually hang out with friends. “Make sure you show up on time,” recommends Joel Block, Ph.D., a certified psychotherapist and specialist in couples therapy. “This will make it clear that you can be considered caring and reliable.”
Don't rush to judge
Don't judge her actions rashly. “When she talks openly about what she did or felt, it's important to withhold judgment,” Block says. For example, if she made a mistake at work, this is not a reason to make her a target for your satirical remarks - it is better to just listen to her sympathetically. Be prepared to admit your shortcomings too. Let's say you're not a good cook - you shouldn't try to hide it: a burnt partridge will still deprive you of your fictitious Michelin stars. When she (again, a girl, not a partridge) knows that she sees the real you, it is easier for her to trust you.
How to win a girl's trust
Even if you give her a thousand roses and go on a thousand dates with her, you will not win her trust. Unfortunately, most guys think that they have to somehow cajole a girl with gifts, court her and fawn over her so that she begins to trust them.
It's time to dispel this myth and tell you how you really need to win a girl's trust.
After all, trust in a new acquaintance and a girl’s trust in a guy are formed in completely different ways.
True trust is born precisely when she stops being afraid of many very important moments for her.
. If only you knew how many fears live in the heads of women. They even came up with a whole system (in common parlance - “checking”) that brings men to clean water. And to earn her true trust, you need to go through all these tests.
Both those who have just met a girl and those who have been dating her for a long time, but cannot move to the next level of relationship, will find a lot of useful information in this article.
Refusal of a date: how to take advantage of it
When communication is going well, you may think it's time to move on to setting up a meeting. Having happily offered it to her, you suddenly receive a refusal.
And here a lot depends on how you behave next. If your voice changes, you will start asking questions like “why?” or “busy?”, you say “okay then, we’ll call you later” and say goodbye, then she will conclude that you were very upset by her refusal. If you get upset over something as small as rejection, then you shouldn't trust your body or your life.
She will simply understand that if you are upset by rejection, then you are weak and unreliable. Everything is logical and simple.
How to behave correctly in such situations?
You need to remain positive and continue to communicate with her as energetically as you did before the refusal. Try to let her know that you immediately forgot about her refusal.
. How to do it? Just suddenly change the topic, joke about something and take her attention in another direction. And most importantly, do not comment on her refusal. Even just with the words “okay, then we’ll talk later when we meet.” Even at the very end of your conversation - not a word about a date.
Steps to rebuilding trust
If you want to regain the trust of a loved one, first you must have strong motivation, that is, a desire and a goal for what this is needed. Men mainly determine hypocrisy and lies, so desire and repentance must be sincere.
1. Talk. Explain the reasons for your action. Tell your story honestly, without hiding. Sincerity is visible, lies, understatement are felt on a subconscious level. The conversation should take place in the absence of other people and children, there is no need to interfere with anyone or pull anyone to your side. Restoring relationships is only your task.
Talk
2. Say you are repentant. Of course, words may not be enough, especially if the offense is serious, such as betrayal. But repentance is the first step. You must repent not only externally, but also internally.
Repentance
3. Do not put pressure on a man, this will cause resistance. If you say - you must forgive me, this will lead to a backlash - the man does not owe anything.
4. Hysterics and scandals have no effect, they are repulsive and look insincere. If a man absolutely cannot stand tears, then it is better to restrain himself.
5. Prove with your actions - do something for your partner, create comfort for him, sympathize, help when it’s difficult for him, try to participate in his life. However, this should not be manifested by excessive imposition; if a man does not want your attention, then you should not insist too much and irritate him.
6. Give him the right to choose, don’t say: you must forgive me. Is not obliged to. But after explaining why this happened, give him time and the opportunity to get used to this idea and forgive you.
7. Don't make excuses. When a person makes an excuse, they begin to vigorously accuse him. Just explain your position, mistakes and admit them. Tell us what conclusions you drew from your action and voice these conclusions.
Trust will not return immediately; the residue will remain for life. Therefore, you cannot make critical mistakes that will turn a man away from you again and forever. It is likely that at first your partner will want to control you.
Show him that your life is transparent. However, it should be noted that the desire to control can develop into mania.
And here it is important to carefully lead the man to the idea that you should also have a share of freedom. It is absolutely unnecessary and unnecessary to inform your partner about every step you take, but he should know and understand that you will not commit an offense again
Swap roles with her
As a joke, of course.
Everyone is used to a guy bragging to his friends about how great his new girlfriend is. In fact, our fairer sex does not like this very much - this way the confidentiality of meetings is lost. Those who already have a boyfriend are especially worried.
The problem of confidentiality never gives girls peace.
But if you tell her: “ I hope you’re not one of those girls who immediately after a date runs to tell their friends about what a great butt their new guy has. Can I rely on you?
» .
In this case, you jokingly switch roles with her, and this shows her (or at least hints) that you know how to keep your mouth shut
.
And in general, remember that you are dating her for her sake, and not for the sake of self-expression, and then tell your friends about it.
Another example: “ Ay, I know about your thoughts. Stop thinking about it, you little slut! I don't want to be just meat for you
».
Or, when she suggests something to you (to go somewhere or eat something): “ Let's take our time! We don't know each other very well yet...:)
».
Yes, all these phrases sound like a joke. However, they still program her mind that you can be trusted.
How to regain the trust of a loved one after a lie? Psychology gives us a very clear answer to this question: “Gradually.” Your man will need time to forgive you, and the amount of time directly depends on what exactly you did wrong. What exactly did you lie to him about?
If you lied about everyday matters... For example, about your overall budget, you hid some of your expenses or purchases. Or maybe your own income. Or, something related to mutual acquaintances, relatives or friends. For example, you didn’t support him properly, or you discussed your personal problems with someone else, and even behind his back... all this falls into the category of “minor offenses”, and, in principle, is forgiven very quickly, provided that you convince your partner that you did it unintentionally.
How to regain his trust in such a situation? Well, of course, the most important thing is not to repeat what you did. If a problem arises between you, do not run from it, otherwise the problem will only widen, deepen and over time may lead to a split in your couple. On the contrary, discuss it with your beloved man, explain honestly why you did what you did, and try, of course, not to repeat your mistakes in the future.
But don’t allow attacks from him either. Think about it this way: everything you could do, you did. Simply put, you admitted your mistake and asked for his forgiveness.
Next, the choice is his. If he forgives you, then this issue is settled and you don’t return to him again! Forgive and forget, end with end! There is no need to always remind you of your mistakes and poke your nose at them like a little kitten. Or, he is not ready to forgive, and then more drastic and decisive measures are needed on your part, which we previously wrote about here.
If you lied about intimate matters... Well, most often this is, of course, cheating. Statistics show that men are more likely to cheat than women, but at the same time, a woman can also slip up. Even if she loves her man very much.
If this case is yours, then you should give it a lot of time. The fact is that cheating for a man is a very serious betrayal, and he is able to give you a second chance, provided that he loves you. Therefore, you can openly tell him that you love him, that you are very worried about the fact that YOU HURT HIM.
Also, be sure to emphasize that this was a mistake on your part, and that you definitely did not want to replace your lover with the man with whom you had been together for so long. And then just leave him alone. He must sort out his feelings and his grievances, he must decide for himself whether he is ready to give you a second chance, or not?
BUT! You can easily push him to make a decision in your favor.
How to do it? You will become that woman who is simply impossible to refuse. And first of all, you will need to work on yourself. Use all the time that you gave your loved one to make a decision to work on your new image and new thinking.
So, you need:
- change your appearance. Start taking care of yourself with double strength, take care of your body, your nutrition and your diet. Start moving actively, choose the sport that you like best and stick to it. If you do what you like, you will start playing sports regularly, on an ongoing basis. Hire a good stylist so that he can completely change your look and choose exactly the “look” that best suits you.
Before continuing reading, we recommend watching the following video:
Don't forget that men love with their eyes. And in front of a beautiful, bright and stately woman, a man becomes defenseless.
- change your inner mood. Down with bad mood, eternal complaints about your life and the belief that you depend on circumstances. To change your thinking from negative to positive, you will have to realize that everything in this life, absolutely everything, can be yours if only you want it.
We have already described in more detail how to become a positive person in this article.
— and of course, show him your changes for the better. If you don’t communicate, be sure to post your good quality photos on social networks. Let him admire them. If you see each other, then he will be even more able to observe all the wonderful changes that have been happening to you lately. Believe me, any man wants to be with bright, happy and positive women who always do well. Including your offended man, to whom you are the cause of pain.
Well, and most importantly: when he gives you a second chance, get ready. Next, you will have a probationary period. Considering the fact that you cheated on him, he will control you constantly, and very carefully. What did you want? You decided for yourself that you want to continue building a relationship with this person, which means you have to pay a certain price for it. In particular, you will have to learn to calmly react to control on his part, not to become hysterical, not to beat yourself in the chest, but to calmly understand that you are going through a probationary period, after which he will be able to trust you again. Imagine that you are in a new job. There they also put you on probation, and they also control you... and you don’t throw hysterics about this.
The most important thing is to do everything possible to prevent such a situation (betrayal) from happening again in your life.
So, let’s briefly go through the article again and answer the question: “How to regain the trust of a loved one after a lie?”
The answer is simple: over time.
Depending on how badly you messed up, your beloved man will need time:
- If the problem was domestic, he will most likely forgive you within a week.
- If the problem was serious, then he needs time to forgive you. And your task is to push him to a decision in your favor!
When you find yourself at home
If you start kissing her and trying to undress her, but she doesn’t care, then it’s very important to be able to continue communication the same way as before.
It’s enough to just lie in bed with her and communicate as if you were old friends.
The main thing is to feel the fine line between “persuade me more” and a real “no” (if you just stop acting after her first “no”, then she will consider it insecurity and weakness).
Many girls have stopped trusting guys because they disappear after sex. Therefore, the phrase: “ I want to wake up with you and cook you breakfast”
»
will show her that your intentions are much more serious than just sex
.
Be honest about your intentions
Seducers have long proven the fact that honestly declaring your intentions is much more effective than lying, playing around, beating around the bush and pretending.
Girls have come up with a cunning tactic: when a guy takes some step in getting closer, they can make such a facial expression (just look at him/make him justify himself) that the insecure guy immediately begins to feel guilty about himself. And he stops getting closer. Or he may begin to make excuses for his action, and in response to the phrase: “You all only think about one thing,” begin to prove the opposite.
But practice has shown that this path leads to nothing, and this way you won’t be able to win the girl’s trust.
But if you are not afraid of her reaction, say: “Yes, I like you,” and continue to act confidently and positively, then your honesty will make her trust you more.
Be clear about what you want from her and when you are going to get it.
How to regain trust?
Taking responsibility for what happened
If you made a mistake and caused pain, admit your guilt! Take responsibility for what you did and sincerely ask for forgiveness. Shifting the blame for stupidity onto someone else's shoulders will not lead to good things.
Even if you cheated on your husband because he didn’t suit you in intimate matters, even if you lied to your wife because you were sure that she would understand your position - you committed betrayal!
Keep in mind that the injured person will show the full range of indignation. Allow him to speak out and bare his emotions. At this moment, purification occurs, leading to an improvement in the condition.
Don't make excuses
A lengthy story about the cause-and-effect thread of events will not simplify the situation with the husband in case of mistrust. Attempts to find someone to blame, hysteria, counter-accusations or a list of varied excuses will only worsen the situation. Tell everything frankly, leaving out unimportant details. Leave the essence and honest admission of the mistake.
The only thing you need to do later is to express sincere repentance for what you did! Emotional openness plays an important role in this case. If there is no opportunity to talk, use additional methods to convey words of apology:
- write a letter (electronic, paper);
- leave a message on the answering machine;
- tell about your feelings with flowers, a gift;
- use action - do something important for your partner, something that he has dreamed about for a long time;
- apologize publicly, record a video of your apology.
Always keep your promises!
Even very small ones. If you think that her words “oh well, it’s all little things” means that there was no need to keep the promise, then you are mistaken. She has a counter in her head that is very sensitive to the number of words you keep. And the moment you fail to keep your promise once again, your masculine attractiveness declines.
Summary:
As you can see, winning a girl’s trust is not so difficult. The main thing is to know that girls once stopped trusting guys because of their weakness, cowardice and unreliability. And skillfully show that you are not endowed with these ugly qualities. After all, when you know what she is afraid of, you can quickly earn trust than those who try to do this with flowers and long months-long courtship.
What else can you read?
Failure to keep promises
The psychology of relationships is a rather complex science, and often partners study it not in theory, but in practice, during their own conflicts or quarrels. One of the key reasons for such quarrels is the failure to keep promises. Moreover, we can talk about both little things and some major action.
How should one act in such a situation in order to restore male trust?
- Keep this promise, but not with the condition of forgiveness, but just like that. You should periodically perform new actions that demonstrate that the person has truly changed.
- It is necessary to apologize to your lover, but this must be done sincerely, without long speeches memorized in advance.
- It is necessary to at least temporarily shut up your pride, while noting that the man is right.
- If a woman made a promise that she obviously could not keep, she should at least partially fulfill it, taking a few steps towards what she promised.
Often what is important for a man is not the execution of the deed itself, but the fact that his beloved heard him, understood him and realized the importance of the committed act. So, a lady can promise that she will never again spend family funds without her partner’s knowledge. After the scandal, she may actually stop doing this, but without realizing the extent of her own guilt. As a result, the conflict will certainly be repeated in the future, since the girl, not understanding anything, will sooner or later resume thoughtless spending.
In such situations, it is important not to put forward any counter conditions. If a girl has promised to do something, she should not demand the same from her lover.
