Can you change your life without trying too hard? Yes, says the author of the book “Better Every Day.” 127 Good Habits for Health, Happiness, and Success” by SJ Scott. This is possible through a set of good habits—simple actions that create a powerful cumulative effect.
In his book, he tells how to identify exactly those habits that will lead to your goals, how to implement them into your life and never shy away from them. Each of these tasks will take you no more than five minutes. The key to success is daily repetition, and you will immediately notice that your business has improved.
Here is part of the first chapter. You can buy the entire book here.
Habit is different from habit. There are simple habits: brushing your teeth, kissing your spouse before leaving for work. There are difficult ones that require constant willpower: abstain from certain types of food, do daily exercises. And in between are small actions that have a positive (or negative) cumulative impact on your life.
Unfortunately, people don't always understand how it works. Some habits are easy to learn: say, spending three minutes writing down your daily tasks. Others, like a half-hour workout, are very difficult to consolidate.
This is why it is important to distinguish between different types of habits. Namely: to create blocks, I propose dividing habits into three groups:
- Key habits
- Supportive Habits
- "Elephant" habits
You'll soon see that most of the habits described in this book fall into the second group. However, a clear gradation is needed: it will help you select habits that are appropriate to your situation.
What are habits
This term hides a sequence of actions developed by the body as a result of its evolution. In other words, uncontrolled procedures performed automatically by humans. These include:
- teeth cleaning;
- keeping records (all kinds of diaries);
- greeting a person when meeting;
- initiative;
- biting a pen cap or pencil tip;
- adherence to daily routine;
- putting things off until “tomorrow”;
- thumb sucking in newborns, etc.
I could give examples for quite a long time. I think everyone agrees with this. However, few people know that habits have long been divided into several categories and these are not only useful or harmful, but also social, household, age-related, professional, etc. In order not to be unfounded, I want to focus on some categories. Is it interesting for you?
Walking style
Patti Wood, a body language expert, says the way you walk can reveal a large part of your personality. If you throw your weight forward as if your body is falling and your gaze is fixed straight ahead, you are most likely an ambitious and focused person. At the same time, people may view this habit as a reflection of unapproachability. If you tend to put your weight on your toes and keep your eyes down, you may have a more introverted, shy, and aloof personality.
People who have a spring in their step and a scanning gaze are socially open and sociable, although they may sometimes be reserved. Finally, people who walk as if they are gliding on ice tend to be people-oriented, sensitive, and team-oriented.
Social habits
This category combines those actions that are laid down during upbringing, and in the future, allow society to form a certain opinion about the person in front of it. What are they? Here are some of them:
- slurping and talking at the table;
- greeting a friend;
- nail biting;
- closing the mouth when sneezing or yawning;
- respect for elders, etc.
Is this clear? Naturally, among them there are both useful and harmful. This is taught to children first by their parents (by reading famous works, setting their own example), then by kindergarten teachers, school teachers, etc.
Correspondence style
According to some psychologists, your writing style can reveal several things about your personality. For example, a lack of typos and grammatical errors shows that you tend to be conscientious and perhaps an obsessive perfectionist. Longer messages reflect an energetic nature. They can also indicate a needy person. Introverts, as a rule, are accustomed to getting straight to the point without unnecessary adjectives, while extroverts are more casual and playful in their words, not disdaining different topics.
Individual
These include features of a person’s behavior or what makes him stand out from the crowd. These habits can become a kind of soil for the development of social ones. How and why does this happen? Look. Let's imagine that you are an initiative person who always offers help. This is good? It’s not for nothing that they say: “If only there were more people like you, ready to help in difficult times.”
It turns out that this is a plus for society, then the question arises: “why is initiative still not a social habit that is important to instill in the younger generation?” Yes, the whole point is that on this basis laziness and apathy are formed in one half of humanity, therefore, they refuse to work, saying: “Why would I work if someone else can do it?” Right?
In turn, proactive individuals begin to come under pressure (they are given the most difficult and thankless work).
Does this sound familiar to you? So, against the backdrop of this, a kind of conflict occurs. It turns out that you need to be proactive , but in moderation, namely:
- offer help only where it is really needed (give a hand to a grandmother getting off the bus);
- help partially, and not do the work for someone (give advice, point in the right direction);
- focus your attention on work that is useful to you (an accountant at work does not have time to submit a report, and you understand this, then why not offer help?).
Is this clear? It turns out that individual habits are your “I”, which provides unique opportunities for growth, development or damage to your body. Yes, this category is also not without bad habits (smoking, throwing things around in the apartment or workplace, putting things off until “Tomorrow”). Do you agree?
How long does it take and how is it formed?
Any action over a certain period of time can be brought to automaticity. You just need to repeat it often. It is advisable to do this at regular intervals. Scientists say that habit formation occurs in 21 days.
But do not forget that 3 weeks is the minimum for which it is possible to secure a newly acquired item. Each person has a different level of perception of what is happening around them, so the time for consolidation will be different.
Answering the question of how many days it takes to develop a new skill, we can confidently say that it will take at least 21 days to automatically complete the task.
Simple skills require less time than those that require maximum concentration and skill. You can learn to drink water every day several times faster than to do physical exercise.
It may take several months to love yourself and learn to lead a healthy lifestyle. Don’t think that this is too long and it’s better to leave everything as it is. You need to persistently and gradually move towards your goal.
Bad habits
This term hides those unconscious actions that harm not only you, but also those around you: procrastination, laughing loudly, being late every day, smoking, etc. They do not give you the opportunity to grow and develop, therefore, you need to get rid of them. A little later I will give tips that will change your condition and help you become better.
I believe that you should not dwell on the characteristics of this category, because it is better to carefully study useful habits and ways to develop them. Do you agree?
Definition of the concept
The terms “habit and addiction” mean the automatic, unconscious repetition of an action.
Sometimes this term refers to short-term but constantly repeated actions. This is brushing your teeth or tapping a pen, constantly checking messengers or looking at yourself in the mirror before going out.
A habit can be longer lasting and have a strong impact on life. Under unfavorable circumstances, it will develop into addiction. Drinking alcohol in the evening often leads to alcoholism. Regular visits to the gym will increase the body's resistance to disease and improve vitality.
Useful habits
From an early age, you were taught a specific routine (the order of things to do every day): getting up in the morning at a certain time, breakfast, walk, lunch, nap, afternoon snack, walk, etc. Why was this done? Naturally, for health. Are you following this now? Most people will agree that with the modern pace of life, we have practically stopped monitoring this. So what's the result? Constant lack of sleep, reduced immunity... .
When you look at successful people, what thoughts come to your mind? He has a lot of free time, where does that come from? I'm right? I'll give you a hint - it's all about careful planning and adherence to this regime. A business person will not miss lunch or be late for a meeting. Why? Because he thinks through all sorts of options in advance, using the basic principles of time management, and does not rush headlong into the maelstrom, trying to do everything in time.
Thus, it is worth noting that nurturing and developing healthy habits are important activities. Brett Blumenthal will tell you how to instill these procedures in yourself in his masterpiece “One Habit a Week.” The author clearly expresses his thoughts, the book is written in such a way that you can read it “absorbedly.” After this, you will learn the secret of “small victories”.
I can tell you one more way , but it requires concentration - you choose the habit you want to develop (plan for tomorrow before going to bed), put an elastic band on your right hand and follow this setting every day, for at least 21 days. If you break your promise, you pull the rubber band, causing yourself discomfort. Believe me, mocking yourself is not very pleasant, but it is effective.
If you consider yourself a responsible citizen, you can agree with family members or friends (for control) and make a promise (to stop swearing). At the same time, you tie a bright ribbon on your right wrist and watch yourself. If you make a mistake, the “mark” is transferred to your left hand. Bottom line - you should carry it on one part of your body for at least 21 days. Remember that only daily checks and your attitude will help you develop a habit.
Perhaps it should be noted that you can develop a habit by correcting yourself (removing the bad and putting the right in its place). How to replace the bad to become better? You need to carefully prepare yourself for work :
- select what you need;
- realize the need for this;
- come up with great motivation;
- prepare yourself for work;
- start right now because “tomorrow” is the busiest day.
For example, yoga is beneficial for girls and men at least once a week. How to find time to practice, to know yourself? It's enough to start waking up earlier. With this you will kill two birds with one stone: improve your health and get rid of drowsiness. I’ll say right away that you shouldn’t rush to extremes, because you need to understand that healthy habits help us, therefore, you need to carefully monitor your condition and not harm yourself.
Start watching your diet, because this is the key to health and strength to overcome the difficulties that life throws at you. Think about what you eat? Fast food, semi-finished products? Just don’t say that you don’t have time for yourself, I won’t believe it. After all, she has already repeatedly revealed the secrets of time management, which have helped many women on maternity leave learn how to find free time.
Don't understand what I'm talking about? Then it’s time for you to get acquainted with the time management system, find the methods that are most suitable for you and start using them in life. I’ll tell you a secret, I’m a night owl, so I used to constantly complain about the lack of time. After communicating with rich people, I learned that their day begins at 5-7 am. Can you imagine what a shock this was for me, because I only woke up at 11-00, and crawled out of bed at noon.
Let me clarify that the path to my cherished dream - to see the sun rise, to notice an increase in time, was quite difficult, but I managed it, which means you can do it too. Everyone has 24 hours in a day, but how do you use them?
What connects our personality and the habits we form throughout our lives?
How are habits formed?
We all have habits - good and bad. We rarely come up with them because they are part of our everyday life. Have you ever wondered where these habits come from? For example, if you are nervous, you start biting your nails. What is the reason for its occurrence? Why do you unconsciously behave this way?
When it comes to the science of habits, you may not be surprised to learn that they form in the emotional center of the brain. They have a scary name: the basal ganglia. Meanwhile, the logical, executive part of the brain is the prefrontal cortex (PFC), which alerts us to unwanted behavior. For example: your emotional brain forces you to use your credit card to buy the first thing you like, while your logical brain does its best to prevent this. Only after purchasing these overly expensive boots will you realize that it would be worth looking for something else. The same parts of your brain come into play when you decide to finish your second piece of chocolate cake and then regret it minutes later.
We can think of good habits as those that are good for our physical and mental health. People with more positive habits tend to demonstrate high levels of discipline and self-control. In other words, their prefrontal cortex is their defense. On the other hand, the inability to carry out the plans of the logical part of the brain can send us down the right path to bad habits. Because of these related ideas, we don't have to look far to understand that our habits ultimately determine our happiness—or lack thereof.
Handwriting style
Graphology analyzes the physical characteristics and patterns of handwriting. Some psychologists believe that with the help of this analysis it is possible to create a valid personality profile. Experts in handwriting analysis, called graphologists, claim that with the help of ordinary handwriting, up to 5,000 characteristics of a person’s character can be identified. We will describe only a few:
• Size of letters and words: Large letters mean that you want others to understand and notice you. Smaller letters can indicate the intense concentration and focus you exhibit during an activity, as well as characterize you as an introvert.
• Slant: tending to point the letters to the right can mean that you are a friendly, sentimental and a little impulsive person. A neutral bent indicates a logical and methodical personality. A tilt to the left indicates that you prefer to work with other things than people.
• Pressure: High pressure indicates the presence of strong emotions and a tendency to lead a fast-paced lifestyle. Lighter pressure indicates a person as a playful person in relationships who feels the need for adventure.
• Connecting letters: If your handwriting is structured in such a way that the letters are connected, then you are a logical, methodical and careful person who makes decisions carefully. Handwriting that is slightly different in places from each other indicates an intellectual and intuitive nature.
Source
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Why is it scary to have habits of poverty?
I propose to look at the habits of poverty in more detail, since many do not understand why some people are rich and others are not. It's all about manners and behavior. Therefore, I decided to pay more attention to this particular point.
The habits of poverty are manifested in the following
- Buying cheap food does not necessarily mean purchasing gourmet delights. It is important to buy good quality products and things. Poverty teaches you to take “the cheapest thing you can get and have a longer shelf life.”
- Irrational behavior is to spend all the “extra” money instead of creating an emergency fund.
- Giving gifts - if there is not enough money for something worthwhile, they give a souvenir from “everything for 5”. But when a person with a beggarly mentality has money, he spends it very quickly and does not realize that he does not need to buy gifts for his child every day.
- Fear and automaticity of counting expenses - implies a constant calculation of the total cost of products in the basket, utility costs and other payments for which there may not be enough money.
- Irrational refusal to buy basic necessities. If a person with a poor mindset gets into a summer sale of good winter jackets, he will not buy himself a great jacket. Because “we still have to live until winter.”
This list can go on indefinitely, constantly being updated with new variations of addictive behavior. All of these manifestations are related to the nervous system and, to varying degrees, can release dopamine, a reward chemical for the brain.
