Allodoxophobia is the fear of other people's opinions. Discussion on LiveInternet

Causes

The trigger for developing a fear of opinions is the same as for many other social phobias: negative or traumatic episodes in the past. Teachers or parents often bear the blame for causing a disorder in a growing child. Words of warning or criticism towards the baby can lead to chronic depression. An insulted or traumatized child is susceptible to developing a phobia.

Typically passive or sensitive people who fear reprisals are most likely to suffer from the disorder. They may have experienced criticism at school or at work.

Media, access to print materials, graphics on television or social media, etc. can also trigger phobias.

Some other (internal) causes of allodoxaphobia include hereditary factors or genetic damage.

How to get rid of dependence on other people's opinions

First of all, you need to understand that a person cannot be the center of the Universe so that his every slightest action is acutely perceived by others. In fact, most people are busy solving their own problems, and there is no need for them to waste their energy thinking about other people's actions and words. To test this, you can perform a non-standard act that no one could expect from a person. He will soon notice that his action caused a reaction only among relatives, friends and some acquaintances. You also need to remember that people's opinions are subjective, and they tend to change. For example, a young man with long hair attended college, for which the guys from the group made fun of him more than once. But soon it became prestigious, fashionable to grow hair, and the same guys who laughed at him grew their hair.

Symptoms

A person suffers from physical and emotional manifestations of fear of public opinion. Afraid to hear judgments and provide feedback of any kind. This literally creates a complete picture of panic that includes:

sweaty palms;
accelerated heart rate;
rapid and shallow breathing;
feeling of nausea;
anger when an opinion is expressed - regardless of whether it is good or bad;
an attempt to avoid all situations in which a different point of view may be expressed;
insecurity;
low self-esteem.

Naturally, such people end up becoming socially withdrawn and depressed.

Fear of “what will people think?”: impact on life and ways out

There are millions of fears in the world. In this article I will describe one of the basic ones – fear of other people’s opinions. It seems to me that this is a great place to start your own movement towards yourself. If you also experience the fear of “what will people think?” - continue reading. The information will be useful.

Fears greatly limit opportunities in life. But few people do anything about it. Because it’s difficult, some people don’t have time, and they don’t immediately have time to go to some trainings and read books on self-development. Nobody wants to be considered different from everyone else. Strange.

At one time, the word “sect” scared me. Now I like to cheerfully announce, especially to strangers: “Yes, we have a sect!” We're having a really nice time." By the way, it’s a great way to determine the adequacy of your opponent, and for yourself to expand the horizons of the possible.

It has already been said one hundred and five hundred times that there are no magic pills, magic kick-offs or other instant life improvers. If you want to achieve some significant results and satisfaction with your own life, you will have to act. More than once in the project space it was said: “Leave comments, don’t be afraid to share your world with others!”, awareness, insights and results not only reveal you, but also inspire and ignite others.

I recommend the article by Grigory Bolgov: Why a woman after 30 can end up in a sect. Nobody teaches women to live with their hearts. Nobody needs their intuition and feelings. You need to live with your mind and logic, otherwise it will be bad.

Three stages of the influence of fear

Psychologists distinguish three conditional stages of the influence of someone else’s opinion on a person:

It occurs in adolescence, when a person is acutely dependent on the opinions of others: he tries to seem better, cooler than he is. In difficult cases, he may even strive to change his own personality, because he is afraid to show his true self to the world, as well as condemnation, rejection, and misunderstanding.
A person declares himself independent of other people's opinions, but deep down in his soul he is suppressed and limited. This is a kind of period of rebellion, action in defiance. As a rule, it replaces the first stage and lasts until the onset of the conscious period.
A sign of a conscious personality, first of all, so age is relative. A person has gone through many stages of discovering his own self, accepting himself as he is, living his own life. Goes his own way, regardless of the opinions of others.

I recommend the article by Irina Perekrestova Crisis - time to return to yourself. My own life crises always opened up new paths for me, a new perspective and my new skills. The fears were an illusion—the fear of a small child.

Fear of “what will people think?” restrains and limits

Many reasons for inaction in life can in one way or another be reduced to the fear of being judged by others. It can manifest itself in any of the areas of life:

What if I write about my difficulties under a useful post, and they laugh at me?
What if they see me at a training session on discovering my capabilities and I will have to explain what I did there;
What will my family think of me if I quit my “normal” job and start doing my own thing?
What will they think of me if I try to meet the right person and he laughs in my face?
What if I take a risk and embarrass myself? How to look people in the eyes?
How will I feel when I achieve success because I will be the center of attention of many people?
What if it doesn’t work out, they judge me and call me a failure?
What will they think if I don't get married before I'm 30? The clock is ticking, you might not be able to make it in time, but my mother’s friend’s daughter got married a long time ago;
My family will be ashamed of me if I don’t do what is expected or required of me.

We can go on and on, but these examples also show how fear of other people’s opinions stops personal development. To free yourself from outside influence, you need to start acting in the opposite direction. Many will say that the advice “take it and do it” is not suitable because it causes discomfort. But as soon as you start acting, you will have evidence in your arsenal that nothing critical will happen if someone speaks badly about you.

Remember: just sitting and waiting for a change in the way of thinking will not work - everything needs to be supported by actions!

I recommend Elena Bolgova’s article Love and Fear at Different Levels of Consciousness. There are two main forces that are the root causes of everything that happens to us, in us and around us - love and fear. Let's consider them from the point of view of the Theory of the Transition of Consciousness.

Ways out of the fear of “what will people think?”

Start trusting yourself. Look at the image of yourself and your limitless strength and energy will open before you, then create a new image;
Adjust your environment. It is much easier to start moving towards yourself, being in the space of like-minded people and friends who are ready to support in difficult times;
Accept responsibility. Life is yours alone, don’t try to live someone else’s and don’t let others influence your choices.
Respect others' choices. Accept your path and allow others to do the same.

A thing does not cease to be true because it is not recognized by many. | Benedict Spinoza

Change your focus from fear to love

There is an opinion that in order to make it easier to take action, you can use the energy that fear gives. The choice is yours, but I suggest you think about how finite such a resource is and how limited its results are.

Expand your focus and act not from the position of fighting fear, but from the position of how the perception of life and yourself will change and what new opportunities this will open up. Self-love gives you the energy to act with greater strength. During the broadcast about the energy of acting out of self-love, this is exactly what they talked about. Think about yourself and stop running away from problems.

I recommend the article by Elena and Grigory Bolgov, Energy to act: three steps to opening the source. If you are wondering where the energy to act comes from and how to significantly increase its amount, don’t go, we’ll share our personal experience of kindling an internal fire.

I know from myself that when you recognize something that resonates internally, you want to quickly begin to act, and as grandly as possible, so as not to waste precious time. At the beginning of the article I already said that there are no instant improvers. Therefore, do not try to immediately bite off a larger piece. Think, using honesty, how much you are really capable of realizing at this moment in life. Start small and keep moving, gradually increasing momentum.

Make it easier to let go of fear by shifting your focus away from others and toward yourself. Then, if you feel afraid of some tasks, it will be easier to decide what to do. Consciously ask yourself: what action will really benefit the individual - grab your head with the usual: “Oh, what will people think?” and escape from discomfort or think about yourself, take all the energy of love that awakens, and do as you want. And right today, do something small that you have always been afraid of. See how much energy will wake up!

Evgenia Reger

✓ Project editor ✓ I am interested in psychology

Fear of speaking your mind leads to burnout

Employees of Russian companies suffer from emotional burnout due to the authoritarian management style of managers, fearing to express disagreement with the organization's policies. Russian and American psychologists came to these conclusions after surveying residents of Perm.

Burnout at work, according to social psychologist Christina Maslach, is divided into three levels: emotional and physical exhaustion; decrease in professional achievements, cynical attitude towards work; feeling of alienation from the company and team. An employee with such a problem begins to skip work and wants to quit; he no longer cares about professional success. To find out the reasons for this situation, scientists from the Higher School of Economics and the University of North Dakota conducted a written survey of 237 Russians - 117 men and 120 women aged 18 to 57 years, working full time in various companies. The questionnaire included demographic questions and several scales measuring the level of disagreement with the employer's organizational policies, the level of emotional burnout, and the extent to which the company created conditions for maintaining a balance between family and work.

It turned out that employees experience chronic stress. This is consistent with available scientific evidence which suggests it may affect up to 70% of the working population. The researchers see the reason for this in the fact that Russia’s entry into international markets after the collapse of the USSR led to a sharp increase in competition, requirements for skills and qualifications both in ordinary and in leadership positions. Another stress factor is the authoritarian management style, common in domestic companies. It does not leave employees the freedom to express their own opinions. Women experience additional difficulties, since in our country it is from them that society requires them to raise children, run a household and take care of the family, while fewer such expectations are placed on men.

This situation leads to an imbalance between family and work. At the same time, for the sake of image and prestige, companies often formally support family values and develop support programs, but in reality they often remain fiction. Lack of support from superiors, coupled with work overload, leads to emotional burnout, which in turn further increases the imbalance between family and work. But for those who can rely on real support from managers and can disagree with company policies and receive feedback, the likelihood of burnout is reduced. These workers feel more comfortable and less guilty if they prioritize family responsibilities.

Scientists have already named silencing one’s dissatisfaction as one of the signs of emotional burnout. In their opinion, at this moment the employees simply no longer have the strength for open confrontation. They feel alienated from the team and lose motivation to do anything.

“Under ideal work conditions, employees may complain about even minor, upsetting events before they become major sources of stress,” the study authors note. “Therefore, a democratic organizational climate that encourages dissent is key to combating burnout at work.”