“He doesn’t love me - what should I do?” Advice from psychologists on how to make a guy fall in love with you

Author: Oleg Maltsev

Love is a mutual process. However, the person you like does not always respond in kind. Unrequited love is a common companion of adolescence, but sometimes it happens at an older age. Some time after feelings arise and sympathy is expressed, the girl comes to the conclusion: he doesn’t love me. There is an emptiness in the soul, and thoughts are occupied with trying to understand why this happened.

Constant lack of time to communicate with your woman

Does he value work too much and disappear for a week? Know that he has no feelings for you. If a man loves a woman, he will always find a couple of minutes to call or at least a short message. And if his calls are rare, then you don’t have to delude yourself about your future relationship. What to do if a man does not love, but uses (in this case, your patience and meekness)? Decide for yourself once and for all whether you need such a relationship, and act!

If you are married

After being married for several years, you begin to notice that your husband does not spend time with you so often, prefers to stay late at work, and there are no common topics for conversation. He stopped hugging and kissing you. These signs tell you that love has passed.

Don't rush to get upset:

• Talk to your loved one - perhaps he just had a difficult time at work and your assumptions are wrong. In any case, you need to understand what is happening;
• If your assumptions are justified, find out from your spouse the reason why he has lost interest in you;
• Discuss what you can do to improve the situation. Find out if he is ready to take any steps. Since reciprocity is important here;
• If you both want to save the relationship and return the love, then follow the agreements;
• If there is a negative answer from your spouse, then most likely your relationship is over. In this case, hysterics and tears are also not helpful, and the sooner you break up, the better for you;
• After a breakup, use the tips above.

After two or three years, physiological love passes. It is replaced by a feeling of affection, calmness, and confidence in the future. This is love of a higher level and breaking off a relationship at the second stage is much more difficult. There is no storm of emotions here, but there is fear for your future. To prevent your husband from losing interest in you, always keep your distance, surprise him, be independent, and show character.

He only needs one thing

Cases when men need sex from women and nothing more are not uncommon in the modern world. It is a pity that many representatives of the fairer sex do not understand this. If a man does not love you, but uses you, it is immediately obvious. When he is gentle, loving and sensitive only before intimacy, and after it turns to the wall and does not want to talk about anything - this is not love. It's simple sexual attraction and passion. A loving person often says pleasant things to his lady, but a sexual manipulator only at the moment of excitement, after satisfying the physiological need, the object is no longer interesting to him.

How to understand that you are being used? Manipulative men usually do not think about the pleasure of their other half in bed. They think only about themselves, their release. These men want to be on top, but they use a standard set of memorized techniques to achieve this, without thinking about whether a particular woman will like them.

Is it possible to return lost love?

In order to return the love of a guy or spouse, you need to make some efforts. You must become interesting to him, give him those emotions that he has not received recently:

1. Show you care;
2. Flirt;
3. Make dates;
4. Get a massage;
5. Have romantic evenings;
6. Write notes with wishes.

The main thing is not to use everything at once . Otherwise, your actions may have the opposite effect.

Thus, the conclusion: “he doesn’t love me” is not always objective and does not always lead to a break in the relationship. However, if there is no other way out, do not despair. Life is beautiful precisely because we can experience a different range of feelings. And even for this unrequited feeling it is worth thanking her. Having survived it, you will become more mature and wiser.

Signs that a man doesn't love you: inattention to business

A man in love with a woman always strives to learn more about her; he is interested in how she lives. He wants to know how the lady spent her day, how she is doing at work or school, what music she likes, what movie she wants to watch. Such questions simply will not occur to a manipulator; he is not interested in his partner’s past, present, or, unfortunately, future life. If a man does not love you, but uses you, he will not be sensitive to your mood swings and will not be interested in your affairs and plans.

He doesn't use the word "we"

Does your partner not use the pronoun “we” when talking about your couple? You can immediately draw disappointing conclusions: he has no serious plans for a relationship. Such a person does not recognize you as a whole. If you went to the cinema together, he might say to his friend: “I went to the cinema yesterday.” He doesn't like talking about a future together, even a short one. Such a partner will not take pictures together with you and, most likely, will ask you not to post joint photos on social networks. Such signs only indicate a lack of love and affection on the part of the partner.

Physiology of love

There is a version according to which love is the similarity of the energy fields of two people. Each of us has our own biofield, which has its own uniqueness. When we meet a person with a similar biofield, we immediately notice it, we are drawn to this person, and the need arises to always be near him.

When we fall in love, our body actively produces amphetamines. This substance deprives us of the ability to think soberly. We cannot treat our partner adequately, we do not notice his disadvantages.

Mutual feelings give rise to passion, and unrequited love becomes a painful feeling that makes us go crazy. We are intoxicated by the object of love and are ready to do anything to ensure that the chosen one reciprocates our feelings.

As a result, we begin to look for reasons, flaws in ourselves, become disappointed in love, develop complexes within ourselves and suffer.

He doesn't let you into his life

Whether a man loves or uses a woman is not difficult to understand. All the signs mentioned above indicate dislike. However, there are other important “symptoms” that your partner is not interested in you. A man who does not allow a woman into his life is simply using her. A man who avoids talking about himself, does not like to invite a lady to visit him, does not introduce her to his parents and friends, is unlikely to take her seriously. The main signs that a man does not love you are listed in this article. Remember them forever if you don’t want to end up as a toy in someone’s hands! There is also a type of man who takes a girl into his company, but remains very distant. They do not kiss or hug their partner in front of their friends and generally spend more time away from her.

Always pay attention to the male gaze. If your partner is interested in you, his eyes will give it away. A person in love looks straight into the face, without going down to the blouse, neckline or knees. Eyes fixed on the neckline will only indicate sexual interest. Eyes darting around the room indicate a lack of interest in the interlocutor. If a man does not love you but takes advantage of you, he may even show signs of impatience (for example, tapping his fingers or rocking in his chair).

Psychology of the victim

Why do some women seem to attract manipulative men? The fact is that a person is responsible for everything that happens to him (although he may not even realize it). The state of the victim is a psychological internal state; it literally attracts all kinds of lovers of easy money of a material, sexual and other nature. If someone uses you, it means that you yourself allow such situations. What could be the reasons for such an internal state?

• Low self-esteem.
• Disrespect for one's own personality.
• Various complexes.
• The desire to hurt yourself, to punish with the help of strangers.

It is very likely that you did not like this explanation, but it does answer the question of why you were chosen to play the role of “victim”. How can a woman be used?

1. Love manipulations. Very often, an insecure lady agrees to “supporting roles,” that is, she simply becomes the mistress of a married man. While it seems that you are not worthy of a better option, a man will use you to satisfy physiological needs
2. Professional use. For a woman who does not believe in her strength and talent, her colleagues will try to throw off a considerable part of their work in a work environment. Also, cunning colleagues can appropriate your ideas, currying favor with their superiors, while at the same time convincing you of your absolute professional unsuitability
3. "Friendly communication. Very often, an insecure woman gets a manipulative friend who knows what buttons to push and will quickly win over the “victim.” A woman, listening to false compliments, and pleased with the admiration in her direction, is ready to do anything for her “best friend.” Which the latter uses with great pleasure.

Adverse Signs

If you feel like you're being taken advantage of, but you can't be one hundred percent sure, listen to these warning signs.

Think about the question posed for several days in a calm atmosphere, and then, on the contrary, try to distract yourself and forget about it. The correct conclusion will come on its own.

If a guy doesn't pay attention to you...

The psychology of girls is such that the state of falling in love is a fairly common feeling for them. In this state, you think about the object all the time, feel embarrassed when meeting him, and are afraid to talk to him. As a result, it seems to you that your feelings are unrequited. As a rule, this is what first love is like.

If the feeling does not leave you for some time:

• The object of your affection must know that you like him. The guy needs to be told about this, because they are not as insightful as we think. All sorts of hints may remain misunderstood or even unnoticed;
• Don't give the guy a choice. Having expressed your sympathy to him, just continue to communicate as before. Wait for the response step;
• If there is no response and by all indications it is clear that he is not interested in you, there is no need to insist. Try to take your mind off the object. Your feelings are not yet strong enough to become painful.

Of course, being rejected is not pleasant, but life will definitely put everything in its place. Perhaps you will become good friends or a situation will occur in the future that will bring you closer.

Or maybe you will never see this person again, and he will remain only a memory for you.

How not to be used?

Often a woman is not able to quickly figure out the following question: “Does a man love or use?” We described in detail how to understand what a partner really feels in the article above. How can such situations be prevented? Know your worth! Moreover, we are talking not only about love, but also about professional, material plans. Have clearly defined life goals, work hard on self-confidence, and then no manipulator will simply be able to break into your life and ruin it.

Don't settle for a relationship you don't want just because you're single at the moment. Stories like this lead to manipulation and sad outcomes.

Have you realized that a man does not love you, but is simply using you? Break up with him quickly, because the pain of separation will last much less than the bitterness of humiliation, unfulfilled hopes and annoyance!

Source: fb.ru

He doesn’t love me: what should I do?

If you feel that the attraction is strong enough and you cannot simply forget your loved one, then everything is much more serious. There is no point in seeking reciprocity through tearful confessions and pleas.

You cannot force a person to love you, the most you can count on is pity. But on this basis, a long relationship will definitely not work. In this case, you can use some of these tips:

1. Protect yourself from communicating with the object. Scientists have proven that the physiological period of unrequited love is much shorter than reciprocated love. By ridding yourself of constant reminders, you will reduce it even more;
2. Remove from your sight all objects that remind you of this person. Let him remain with you for now, but only in thoughts;
3. Stop asking mutual friends about him. He is doing well and so are you;
4. Give yourself time to cry. Don't keep everything to yourself;
5. After this you need to act. Write a poem, write a portrait of your man from memory, do something in the name of your feeling;
6. Play sports;
7. Invent yourself a new hobby;
8. Chat with friends, go for walks, don’t isolate yourself. Your true other half is still waiting for you to come into your life.

It may take you a long time to get over unrequited love, but soon you will feel ready for a new relationship. And the feelings you experience will become life experience for you.

In this video, psychologist Alina Prokhorova will tell you about 8 reliable and proven ways to get a guy to pay attention to you: