Everyday life, affairs, work, and household chores gradually “squash” romantic relationships and passion between spouses. Life becomes ordinary, monotonous and some couples find themselves in a difficult situation: the wife no longer feels attracted to her husband, sex happens less and less, understanding is lost, feelings are dulled. And if the husband begins to notice that his wife has grown cold, he becomes very worried about this. It hurts man's dignity and pride. After all, by nature a man is a leader, a conqueror, a head. What if a woman no longer experiences strong feelings? How to make your wife fall in love with you again and with renewed vigor? What to do so that the marriage does not fall apart, but passion and love are preserved? We reveal all the subtleties of female psychology in these matters.
Why did the problem arise?
After the sounds of Mendelssohn and taking off the beautiful white dress from your shoulders, real life begins. Married life. At first, there is no shortage of ardor and passion, but children appear in the family and everything changes. More worries fall on the woman. If you still have to work, then there is no strength left at all. Everyday life literally pulls you into its gray whirlpool and the relationship between husband and wife begins to cool.
Before you start winning over your spouse again, talk to her and try to find out why her feelings have faded, what she is missing and what sorrows are gnawing at her heart.
Perhaps she is very tired and does not have enough time for herself. Or maybe she sees a problem in you and does not feel the proper attention and care. There is definitely a reason for what is happening, and it needs to be found out. To make your spouse open up, organize a favorable environment for this: invite your beloved to a cozy, quiet restaurant or have a romantic dinner at home, sending the children to relatives for the day. A little alcohol won’t even hurt here so that your wife can relax and be able to openly tell you her problems and thoughts.
Don’t try to improve the situation by trying to change your spouse; start, first of all, with yourself.
Where to begin
Psychologists recommend starting to solve the problem of how to fall in love with your own husband again with one simple practice. You need to put aside old grievances for a while and look carefully at your soul mate. If you met him for the first time or met him on a blind date, how would you rate this person? What are its strengths and attractive features? Replaying these moments in your head can evoke long-forgotten feelings (liking or attraction). By returning to them, you can build love for a person anew.
After this, experts advise drawing up a clear action plan that will help you understand how to love your husband again. The steps suggested below will allow you to forget about old problems and look at your relationship with your husband in a new way.
Start with yourself
Many people are designed in such a way that it is difficult for them to notice a problem in themselves, so they look for it in others. Think about it, maybe dissatisfaction with yourself pushes you to bad thoughts and actions?
By starting to pay attention to yourself, you can transform yourself, which will make your husband show interest. This will ignite the fire of love. Internal and external changes are always good for a woman. You can't be afraid to change. By changing something about yourself externally or starting to get involved in new hobbies, you can diversify your life.
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Don't be afraid to experiment
Be bold, take the first steps and watch your spouse enjoy these moments.
Surprise him. Let it be incredible experiments in bed or a crazy trip. Try to get unforgettable emotions with him. Letting go of fears of judgment and opening up to new opportunities can change your life together for the better. Changes will allow you to understand how to love your lawful husband again.
More physical contact
Physical intimacy makes partners feel more connected to each other on a spiritual level. This fact is very easy to explain using chemistry. Gentle touches and caresses stimulate the production of oxytocin in the human brain. This neuropeptide promotes feelings of loyalty and trust.
When a person feels tense, it is easier for him to distance himself from his partner. If he behaves this way often, then less oxytocin is produced. This leads to thoughts that the other half is no longer interested in the spouse.
Simply holding hands or hugging can rekindle feelings of love. You should not avoid physical connection, as this is another step towards becoming closer to your partner.
Be positive
It seems that the relationship is doomed, and love cannot be returned? We urgently need to get these thoughts out of our heads. This is all wrong. By being positive, you can fix everything.
Some philosophers compared the feeling of love to the ocean, saying that it also has its ebbs and flows. It happens that you just need to wait a little - and the feelings will return again. It is important to set yourself up for this and make the right and thoughtful decisions.
READ Crisis in relationships: inevitable or good?
Some psychologists note that many women have situations when they seek help with the words: “It seems to me that I don’t love him, he drives me crazy.” After a few sessions, some of the fairer sex were ready to take back their words, because they had no real reason not to love or respect their husbands.
Accept his love
Until there are any solutions, there is no need to push your husband away. When he tries to pay attention, kiss or talk, show reciprocity, otherwise the situation may be complicated by misunderstanding on the part of the spouse.
The emotions that a woman experiences inside herself will be incomprehensible to a man until she expresses them. Until she decides to have a serious conversation, her husband will feel the coldness in the relationship and worry even more.
Romance
Representatives of the fair sex are more sensual and romantic. A woman is able to envelop her beloved man with affection, warmth, tenderness, and attention. But she expects the same in return. When in her life there is not enough room for such things as admiring the sunset, a walk in the summer rain, contemplating nature, when she does not receive attention in the form of pleasant surprises, even small but unexpected gifts, her soul becomes callous and closes. Longing, sadness, and resentment settle in the heart. Often, ladies again begin to look for the fulfillment of much-needed needs and find them on the side. Therefore, female infidelity is completely justified.
Dear husbands, don't let romance leave your marriage. Give your loved one flowers, invite them on dates. Go on vacation as a “savage”, admiring sunsets and sunrises by the fire, don’t be afraid to take your wife by the hand and walk along the quiet evening streets. Please her with gifts, even if they are little things, in the form of a cute card or a beautiful jewelry box, it doesn’t matter, since in all this the main thing is manifested - attention. Give your loved one compliments and confess your feelings to her more often.
How to fall in love with a guy?
Today on the website Shtuchka.ru we will talk about how to fall in love with a guy
.
We will not identify general principles of love, but will try to analyze specific cases of falling in love and give you some advice that really works.
How to fall in love with a guy who was the first to show signs of attention to you
Forcing yourself to fall in love with a person to whom your soul initially does not belong is extremely difficult and almost impossible. No wonder they say: “You can’t order your heart.” Building a relationship with a man who is alien in spirit is a bad idea. Differences in interests, values, level of knowledge, social status can lead to quarrels and misunderstandings, and a guy’s care and desire to please will only irritate you, which will ultimately result in a breakup. Relationships should be built on mutual exchange and bring joy to both.
There will be a high probability of success if you have a friendly attachment to the young man. Love begins with smiles and friendship.
Daria told us her story: “Andrey and I studied in the same class, but there was no talk of love. I laughed at his jokes and helped in class. The relationship began in the 2nd year of college. In the summer I came to my hometown, we walked in the same company. At some point I noticed interest on his part. Andrey wrote me “good morning” every day, gave me his sweatshirt on cold evenings, and told his friends that he wouldn’t go anywhere without me. A week later we started dating. We've been together for 2 years. Our relationship has experienced difficulties, but now I am firmly convinced that this is my person, my protection and support.”
How you can fall in love with a guy: some tips
First, you will need a notepad and pen. Now write how you see your ideal guy. List in detail all the qualities that you value in a man (willpower, loyalty, attentiveness, etc.), you can also describe his appearance. Now you have a reference image before your eyes. Having a list of advantages will streamline your choice and will not allow you to make a mistake when choosing your chosen one.
How to fall in love with a guy? Find the maximum advantages in it!
Now is the time to move on to specific suggestions on how you can fall in love with a guy who already likes you. The site 6tu4ka.ru has selected the most valuable recommendations for you.
- Identify the traits that attract you to him.
- Let go of the situation, just enjoy communication and time together.
- Learn to listen to your interlocutor, be interested in his concerns, opinions, problems, but don’t be shy about talking about your life.
- At first, spend more time with the guy, so you will have time to get used to him and get to know him well.
- To understand how reliable a guy is, ask him to help you with something. If a young man happily responds to your request or even offers help himself, feel free to give him a plus sign.
- Separation also contributes to the emergence of feelings. Go to another city for a few days, for example. If you feel that you are missing a guy, then you are moving in the right direction.
- If some character traits or habits of a young man irritate you, remember the good traits that he has. Hint or directly tell him what you don't like.
- Don't be shy to praise your friend and say nice things to him. You'll see, he will delight and surprise you a thousand times more often.
- Be yourself and don't try to change if you don't want to.
How to fall in love with a guy again
There are many articles on the Internet telling you how to fall in love with a guy again. We cannot ignore this topic either.
- First, try to remember what led to the fading of feelings. At the same time, analyze not only the guy’s actions, but also your own. Weren't you too nervous and selfish, didn't you nag him with or without reason?
- Forget for a while about life, career, stop being a tyrant. Don't be afraid to tell your man that you love and value him.
- Sometimes it seems that love has passed when another young man begins to actively court a captive girl. You may be attracted to him by such statements as “I would never do that”, “how do you tolerate it”, etc. Such situations are a test of strength; they usually arise when relationships are not going through the best period. In this case, assessing people not by their words, but by their actions, will help you fall in love with a guy again. Recall all the good things that you experienced with your boyfriend, dates and first meetings... No matter how cynical it may sound, to make the right choice, remember the ideal type of guy that you yourself created, and think about who best suits him.
Now, dear reader, you know not only how to fall in love with a guy again
or for the first time, but also how to preserve feelings. Most often, we begin to appreciate people over the years, with the accumulation of life experience, when we begin to be attracted not only by beautiful appearance, but also by spiritual wealth and intimacy.
Helene_tu – especially for the site Shtuchka.ru
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Support, help and support
Everyday life and endless chores like nothing else can destroy even the highest feelings. Nowadays, many wives have to be not only mothers and housewives, but also successful careerists. And if the spouse does not feel any help and support from her betrothed, there can be no talk of a strong relationship.
Any lady needs time for personal matters, self-care and just relaxation. A husband who believes that washing dishes, cleaning the house and changing diapers for babies are exclusively women’s tasks will sooner or later “reap” the fruits of such a position. The spouse should feel support and support from her loved one. There is nothing wrong with the fact that both adults in the family have to work in order to have decent living conditions. But in this case there must also be mutual assistance.
If you came home early from work, help your wife, do something useful at home. Your beloved is late, you have a lot of time, but dinner is not ready - order ready-made food at home, let your wife rest. Don't forget to thank for a delicious lunch and any other deeds. Throw away the stupid phrases “not a man’s business” and solve all sorts of worries and problems together. A man’s strength lies in being a support in everything for his beloved.
Work on yourself
To revive dying feelings, you need to work on yourself. When looking for new mutually interesting topics for conversation, it is worth finding out about your husband’s hobbies and, in an unobtrusive manner, inviting him to do something together. This could be foreign languages, a dance club or hiking trips.
Let go of grudges
Showing emotions (even negative ones) in love is considered normal. All people quarrel, get upset, there are no exemplary couples in reality. An indicator of harmony in marriage is not the presence or absence of quarrels, but the ability of partners to compromise in controversial situations.
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Harmonization of relationships: basic rules for a happy marriage
Experiencing anger in silence is a bad strategy. But constant loud scandals will not give relief and will not bring you closer to your partner. To prevent claims against your spouse from accumulating, it is necessary to express them in the correct manner. Making this a habit will not happen in one day or even a month. But after six months the union will again become harmonious.
Another psychological practice that will help restore feelings is talking with a psychologist or friend. It is necessary to express your grievances to a stranger who can assess the situation impartially. The essence of the method is to look at the problem with an open mind. An objective assessment from the outside will allow you to quickly let go of the burden of grievances and return to the relationship without the desire to start quarrels.
Minimize irritants
Often feelings fade away due to everyday little things that begin to irritate over time, although none of the partners paid attention to them before. You can try to correct the situation by calmly talking with your spouse.
It is worth explaining your position so as not to offend your spouse with a careless word. You need to be prepared for your partner's resistance. But gradually he himself will understand how important this is for his wife and will meet him halfway.
Bloom yourself
Time leaves its mark on a person. It especially affects women: sad eyes, tired appearance, wrinkles. If everything is complemented by casual clothes in gray tones and the absence of even light makeup, a man will lose interest in his partner.
It is important for a husband to understand that his beloved is well-groomed and slim. It’s worth giving your husband a reason to admire himself. You need to work not only on your appearance, but also on your behavior. Constant grumbling and critical remarks addressed to the husband do not motivate him to engage in romantic actions. Healthy self-love has nothing to do with selfishness and can make feelings flare up with renewed vigor. If a woman does not love herself, then the man will soon lose interest in her.
Learn to accept gifts with gratitude
Before making a final decision on the fate of further relationships, you should not behave coldly with your spouse or push them away. His attempts to pay attention must be reciprocated, otherwise the husband will not understand his wife, and the situation will become more complicated.
If you have plans to restore your relationship, you should learn to accept gifts again. You shouldn’t hold back your emotions if you liked the gift. When the item presented does not suit you, you should smile gently at your loved one and thank you. You can’t tell your spouse that you didn’t like the gift. If, trying to please, he chose the wrong thing, this is not a reason for a quarrel. The fact that the partner showed attention is important.
Talk
To fall in love with your spouse again, you should try to become friends with him, at least for a day. At this time, you need to take a break from current problems and life situations and have a heart-to-heart talk, share something intimate.
You can spend a nostalgic evening: remember your childhood, student days. Flipping through old photo albums or watching a favorite movie, partners will find a lot in common. Heart-to-heart conversations will help you get closer, so at the end of the evening the relationship will be warmer
Respect
Never humiliate your wife. Remain a gentleman in society and gallant in all situations. Do not forget about such rules for true men as opening a car door for a lady, pushing back a chair in a restaurant, helping to put on a coat. Representatives of the fair sex are very attentive to such qualities and appreciate them.
Don't allow yourself to be rude, especially in public. Even if your spouse is wrong, agree with her in public and in private you can calmly express your opinion. Tell your beloved more often that she is the best. By showing absolute respect for your wife as a woman and a person, you can forever maintain her devotion and love.
Test. Does he love you?
Perhaps it is not at all necessary to make your husband fall in love with you after cheating if he still feels something for you. Want to check it out? Ask him to take this test:
1. I feel responsible for her (his) psychological comfort.
2. I think I can trust her (him) with absolutely everything.
3. Of course, she (he) is the most charming of all.
4. For her (him) sake I will go to the ends of the earth.
5. When we are together, our mood is the same.
6. I am pleased to feel that she (he) trusts me more than others.
7. I can’t imagine how I used to live without her (him).
8. She (he) is a very smart person.
9. If I’m sad or have problems, then I’m ready to share them only with her (him).
10. I think that she (he) treats me well.
11. I can say with confidence about our internal similarity.
12. I would like to be like her (him).
13. I can confidently say that she (he) belongs only to me.
14. In most cases, she (he) finds contact with people immediately and everyone likes her.
If you have any questions, you can write them in the comments. We wish you all the best!
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Communication, trust
Do everything to make your betrothed your friend. Chat, share secrets, discuss how your day went over dinner. Take an interest in your loved one's affairs. Ladies, by nature, are prone to discussions and discussions of trifles. If your spouse asks you to explain something, tell you something, or share something, do not refuse, since words for women often mean more than anything else.
And most importantly, trust. Do not allow yourself stupid scenes of jealousy, baseless accusations.
Try to find activities or hobbies that interest both of you. This could be playing tennis on weekends, hiking, fitness classes, in a word, anything that can bring you together and allow you to be together more often.
Intimate relationships
Anyone who believes that sex means less to women than to men is wrong. Yes, representatives of the fair sex are less likely to engage in it without feelings than men, but having chosen a partner according to the call of her heart, a lady also wants to get the maximum in intimate relationships.
Are you sure that you are satisfying your spouse? Talk to her about it. Maybe she lacks something or, on the contrary, you demand too much. It is possible that your relationship has become too boring and monotonous. Because it is in sex that we can most sensually express our love. It is an area that needs constant work.
Try to change the situation, bring something new to your “bed”, give your wife more affection and tenderness. She should see and feel that she is desired and that your passion for her has not faded.
How to understand that feelings have cooled down
Every person changes over the years. Some people, when forming a couple, develop together. If they manage to survive all the crisis stages, their marriage becomes strong. However, it also happens that partners who have different amounts of wisdom and experience enter into marital relationships. When one of them begins to develop, it becomes noticeable. If such changes make the other partner angry, then conflicts cannot be avoided. Here we need to understand not only quarrels, but also internal experiences that prompt the thought: “I don’t love this person, when we got together, he was different.”
READ How to make peace with your wife after a strong quarrel: select an option depending on the situation
Time makes people wonder if they made the right choice. For a woman, the husband becomes familiar and boring, which leads to the fact that both partners, being under the same roof, live different lives. The fear of losing stability and the feeling of unbearability from such a life force a woman to be in a constant stressful situation. Shows of affection and love from her husband may be unpleasant to her, and thoughts of intimacy may cause disgust. In this case, you need to honestly answer the following questions:
- Do I want to return my feelings?
- Do I value this person?
- How does he feel?
It is worth paying special attention to the last question and analyzing it from a psychological point of view.
