Fear of conflicts
You don't like to provoke conflicts and you don't like to show your anger. You may think that close people should not make trouble and sort things out. Also, you may believe that as soon as you express everything you think, your loved one will turn away from you. This is called the “ostrich effect” - burying your head in the sand instead of solving problems in your relationship.
If you choose your words correctly, you will be able to convey your position as tactfully as possible, without hurting the ego of your interlocutor.
Fear of offending loved ones3
You are trying to be “convenient” for everyone. You try to please everyone around you, while believing that as soon as you say what you really think, people around you will turn away from you. For this reason, you take your mother-in-law to the dacha, plant 3 hectares of potatoes, which even a company of soldiers would not have time to eat in a year, while missing your best friend’s birthday. The “convenient person” position is good for everyone except you.
By trying to please everyone, you lose your individuality and overstep your own moral principles. Often, you can fall even lower in people's eyes and, as a bonus, lose self-respect. Not the most pleasant situation.
Accumulation of grievances4
You sulk and store up your grievances or negative feelings when you could have discussed this with the offender a long time ago. You give others tacit consent to treat you in a way that you yourself consider inappropriate, rather than simply asking for politeness. This is much more effective than keeping anger inside and waiting until your patience runs out.
People may not realize that they are offending you. Especially when it comes to noisy companies, where everyone laughed at you and forgot, and you harbored a grudge. If you don’t say anything, the situation will repeat itself, because everyone was laughing and having fun, but you remained silent. But if you tactfully tell the joker one on one that you are unpleasant, the jokes will most likely stop.
Feeling helpless5
You think your relationship won't get better no matter what you do. You may feel like you've tried everything and the result hasn't changed. You may believe that your loved one is insensitive and does not want to change. This position is a self-fulfilling prophecy - after you give up, things will take the position you predicted.
If you don't talk, the relationship is definitely doomed to failure, but talking about feelings gives the two of you a chance that you can come to an agreement and build a good relationship.
