All or nothing - a person with excellent student syndrome is sure

What is excellent student syndrome and how to get rid of it?

Excellent student syndrome appears during school years, and sometimes in kindergarten. The desire to have better toys than Masha and Vova, in adulthood turns into the desire to be the best in everything, to have things and real estate more expensive than everyone else, to be the best in your profession.

This pushes people to work in an unloved but highly paid job, to marry a rich but unattractive girl, to engage in gambling, and to do other not very reasonable things. Why is it dangerous to be the best and is it dangerous in principle? Let's try to understand these issues in our article.

Excellent student syndrome: what is it, how does it manifest itself?

Excellent student syndrome occurs not only among those who graduated from school with straight A's. And not all real excellent students suffer from this syndrome in life.

Perfectionist's horror

Those who graduated from school a long time ago, but in their hearts remained sitting on the first desk, holding out their hand to be called to the blackboard and put a good mark in the journal, try to be excellent students always and everywhere. Where can you be first?

At work, “perpetual excellent students” do more than ordinary workers. Moreover, for people with excellent student syndrome, it is not the result of work that is important, but the assessment of others , most often, their superiors.
They are practically never late for anything, and often arrive before the appointed time. Excellent student syndrome and perfectionism are similar concepts.
Their clothes are ironed, their shoes are always polished, and their white collars sparkle in the sun. Eternal excellent students are a bit of a narcissist . Although there is also the diametric opposite in appearance - complete negligence. People with excellent student syndrome often suffer from avoidant personality disorder - they do not take on tasks because they are afraid of the low assessment of others.
If the “eternal excellent student” is a woman, then her kitchen is in perfect order. Although order in the kitchen does not mean that the hostess has excellent student syndrome.
She cooks well, even if she doesn't like this activity. A representative of the fair sex with excellent student syndrome does not think about why she does this or that work. She does it simply because “it’s the right way,” or out of fear of being branded a bad housewife or a slob. A low level of awareness is her main problem.
If the “eternal excellent student” is a man, then his car is polished and perfectly washed. Most adequate people like beauty and purity, but “excellent” people are simply fanatics.
Even in intimate matters, these people sometimes try to be better than everyone else and are actively interested in how their partner evaluates their successes.

People suffering from excellent student syndrome react very painfully to criticism, but do not know how to defend themselves constructively. Silence or an aggressive attack - this will be their reaction to the remark.

Summarizing, we get that we need to draw a line between the excellent student syndrome and healthy perfectionism. If the desire for the best is effective for a person, then there is no problem. But if a person cannot distinguish the important from the unimportant, constantly needs evaluation, and believes that he himself cannot adequately evaluate his work - this is an excellent student syndrome. In general, in psychologists’ circles there is still debate about the line between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism.

Excellent student syndrome: pros and cons

It cannot be said that the excellent student syndrome carries only negative aspects. Still, there is something good in it. High demands on yourself, on others, on the results of your activities is in many ways good. It was the desire for perfection that gave birth to great athletes, musicians, artists, people who achieved great success in anything.

However, the excellent student syndrome has many significant disadvantages. I will list the main ones:

Large emotional and resource costs not only in those areas where it is really necessary, but also in unimportant matters;
Dependence on public opinion is a very important disadvantage that has a negative impact on all areas of life;
Complete rejection of criticism - it immediately causes a negative reaction and often leads to serious emotional breakdowns;
The inability to bring something to perfection also leads to an emotional breakdown, depression, and contributes to the formation of low self-esteem;
Constant deadlines, inability to cope with a large number of tasks, because bringing it to perfection requires a lot of effort and time;
All achievements are for the sake of the approval of other people, and not for the sake of one’s own goals; without such approval, a person loses motivation and becomes depressed.

Excellent student syndrome - why is it dangerous to be the best?

People with excellent student syndrome are similar to unloved school teachers.
It must be said that “eternal excellent students” at first sight charm people who come into contact with them. They do not need to be adjusted in their work, they are well-groomed and strict. But excellent student syndrome makes difficult the life of not only the person who suffers from it, but also the life of those around him.

Those who suffer from excellent student syndrome do not know how to build relationships in a team:

These are the people who will rudely question your qualifications. And they will agree to cooperate with you only if they are sure that you are the best of the best. Excellent students respect only leaders; they neglect others.
A person suffering from excellent student syndrome will desperately strive to occupy a leadership position, but does not stay in it. The fact is that in a high position he will not be interested in the productivity of the team, but only in how he himself looks in a leadership position.
There is an endless stream of criticism from these people, even when the job is done well. The work, in their opinion, should be done either perfectly or not at all, there is no middle ground.
A person with excellent student syndrome is far from creative and does not appreciate other people's creative endeavors. Probably because they are difficult to evaluate.
Commercialism is another frequent companion of a mature excellent student. Money, or rather its quantity, is perceived as a kind of assessment.

Work is valued with material rewards.
But not everything is clear:

Everyone needs money. It is important what they are needed for: for a girl with excellent student syndrome, they often become a goal, and for a girl who does not suffer from it, money is a means to obtain more important benefits.
Dislike in a team does not always mean that you have excellent student syndrome. It’s hard for those who are envied, maybe you’re just beautiful or very young for the position you occupy.
If you are alone or alone against everyone, this does not mean that you are wrong. The sad story of Galileo Galilei, who was burned at the stake, is a vivid example of this.

People who suffer from excellent student syndrome, for the most part, do not achieve success. Because they are afraid to do anything. They have a lot of “ideal” plans that are going on the back burner and a lot of unfinished things that cause anxiety and depression.

The one who is not accepted is not always abnormal

Eternal excellent students suffer from their views not only at work, but also in their personal lives:

At first glance, they are wonderful, caring parents. Even if their children are not excellent students, their mothers and fathers will solve math problems for them and draw wonderful pictures in their school albums.
Excellent women wait for their husbands at home with fresh borscht and homemade garlic crumpets. The few girlfriends and friends of excellent students can always count on their help on any issues. There is only one drawback in this scheme - excellent students do not satisfy themselves.
Their morning begins with a headache from problems that need to be solved quickly and perfectly. They have practically no time to rest. And even if they manage to find an hour or two for this, their thoughts still return to unresolved problems. As a result, working too hard undermines mental and physical health.

It’s interesting that each of us has probably noticed signs of excellent student syndrome in ourselves. You probably had to finish some work “I can’t do it” just to get it done. In hours of extreme fatigue, probably every person falls under the description of the excellent student syndrome.

Excellent student syndrome is fatigue and anxiety due to unfinished work

Excellent student syndrome

This phenomenon is specifically identified among representatives of the fair half - excellent student syndrome.

Girls with excellent student syndrome are obsessed with their appearance, and spend a huge amount of resources on fitness clubs, beauty treatments, stylists, outfits, photographers, etc. They regularly post photos on social networks and it is very important for them to collect likes and enthusiastic comments. At the same time, they treat photos very scrupulously, choosing 1-2 photos from 100-200 frames of the photo shoot.

The excellent student syndrome also manifests itself in a woman’s desire to find an ideal man for herself: they always make very high demands on their chosen one, as well as on themselves. And since ideal men practically do not exist in nature, such women are often left without a partner.

Also, excellent student syndrome in women manifests itself in excessive pedantry and exactingness towards everyone and everything, which she instills in her children from childhood. Therefore, there is a high probability that the excellent student syndrome will be “inherited.”

How to get rid of excellent student syndrome: 3 important aspects

Below are some of the most effective, in our opinion, ways to help get rid of excellent student syndrome.

1. Get creative. Imagine this inner student of yours as a separate person. Do you feel remorse for not submitting your report on time? Picture in your mind a dry, heartless excellent student, with a red head of hair and thick glasses. Let him wave this very folder with the report in front of your nose and say: “You didn’t write the report, which means you’re a nonentity! You are guilty!" What feelings will you have for this character, will you want to obey him?

Instead of a child, you can imagine an evil old woman who looks like a witch, causing damage in popular beliefs. Imagine that she scolds you. Do you want to obey her? In fact, this really looks like damage in the popular understanding; people with excellent student syndrome have anxiety and negative ideas about themselves that prevent them from living. And here what Orthodox priests talk about comes to the rescue - corruption and superstition affect only those who believe in it.

Try to look at the inner excellent student from the outside

2. Ask the light character for advice in your thoughts. Imagine some Angel, what can he advise? He probably could have told us that all people are good, although not perfect, and we need to move forward to the best of our ability. Some psychoanalysts have expressed the idea that people with excellent student syndrome are people with an underdeveloped super-ego, characteristic of a child 5-7 years old. Their Super-Ego, or the idea of what a person dreams of being, seems to be frozen, ideal and unattainable. While a person with an adult Super-Ego understands that moving forward is a gradual process, and goals are achievable.

3. Try to add awareness to your life. Ask yourself more often why and why you do or don’t do certain things.

Problems that excellent student syndrome can lead to

For children with an excellent student complex, studying is the meaning of life, and grades are an indicator of “correctness.” They do not strive for a specific result, but to do everything in accordance with a certain standard, because they are sure that they will be good only if they do everything flawlessly. This creates an inability to concentrate on the main thing. For example, when performing any work, the main energy and time are spent not on completing the assigned task, but on the correct execution of minor details.

Examples of perfectionistic behavior

To properly deal with excellent student syndrome, you need to analyze the typical situations that it causes. Perhaps each of us has encountered something similar at least once in our lives. The danger arises when such problems become regular. It is typical for a perfectionist to:

Chronic procrastination, difficulty completing simple tasks. For example, you spend 3 hours completing a task that takes others 20 minutes.
Excessive checking. For example, you take a long time to check each email for spelling errors.
Constantly striving to improve things by redesigning them.
Drawing up carefully thought-out schedules of your own actions.