Teenage complexes, how to help get rid of them?

Causes of an inferiority complex in adolescents

One of the main reasons that makes a teenager criticize himself is intense changes in appearance, the appearance of angularity in movements, acne on the face and body. Boys' voices break, and girls, unexpectedly for them, gain weight, and it begins to seem to them that they have gained not 1-2 extra kilograms, but at least 10.

Hormonal changes in the body and rapid physical development often occur at such a speed that the child psychologically simply cannot keep up with his body. Very often you can observe how an adult-looking guy plays ordinary children's games with children. At the same time, he often hears ridicule regarding his height and intelligence, which leads to alienation from friends and family.

Psychologists say that in adolescence it is very important for a child to become a member of some community, be it a company in the courtyard of a house, a subculture, or just a group on a social network. Not belonging to any group entails a feeling of loneliness and uselessness. As a result, the teenager develops an inferiority complex.

Inattention from parents can also cause an inferiority complex in a teenager. Even prosperous parents are too busy with their daily affairs, they do not devote proper time to their child, citing his “adulthood”. And the fragile child’s psyche perceives this as dislike on the part of the parents. At the same time, a feeling of loneliness in one’s own family appears; the teenager may withdraw into himself or become aggressive towards others. The same behavior can be observed due to unrequited love.

Working with children's complexes

Master class on the topic:

«Working with an inferiority complex and developing a teenager’s personality»

Prepared by: Teacher psychologist MBOU Sulinovskaya Secondary School

Timoshenko Elizaveta Nikolaevna

TSO: computer, projector, speakers

Goals:
assisting in the formation of character, willpower
and instilling a sense of responsibility for one’s own mental state

Tasks:

development of personal communicative qualities

The problem is that many teenagers often develop an inferiority complex due to imposed stereotypes, a dysfunctional childhood, criticism and negative suggestions from others.

In my opinion, the relevance of this topic is undeniable, since the inferiority complex negatively affects the formation of the personality of the younger generation.

Dear colleagues, have you ever encountered the problem of a psychological complex?

Each of us, at a certain stage of life, strives to get to know ourselves and those around us, to compare our personal “I” with the world around us, to find our place in society, among friends and loved ones. In childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, we always want to have close friends to whom we can entrust our spiritual secrets, find support in a difficult situation, seek help, or share our sense of success.

But it is during adolescence that many people fail to immediately “win success” in the company of their peers. And then they may develop psychological complexes.

A psychological complex is a person’s erroneous idea of ​​his physical or psychological shortcomings, their exaggeration, accompanied by deep and, as a rule, hidden from strangers experiences. A significant part of a person’s complexes is not actually realized by him. Complexes develop and persist on a subconscious level. Their awareness usually gives rise to unpleasant experiences, leads to isolation of the individual, and the desire to overcome one or another shortcoming on one’s own.

The complex is a persistent psychological phenomenon, which is almost impossible to completely get rid of on your own. There are several psychophysiological explanations for the stability of complexes.

Firstly, complexes are usually formed in a person in early childhood, during a period of life when his brain was not yet mature enough to analyze and differentiate incoming information. Secondly, in the personality structure, most complexes are interconnected and combined with defensive reactions, which in general play not only a negative, but also a positive role in a person’s life.

The presence of complexes in a person can be judged by the following signs:

- frequent and strong feelings about one’s own behavior, inadequate reactions to the actions of other people (dissatisfaction with one’s appearance);

- inappropriate reactions to various life situations and the behavior of other people;

- excessive interest in any problem and the search for ways to solve it (obsession of ideas);

- a feeling of constraint when solving problems that are assessed by other people;

- a feeling of fear or anxiety when anticipating upcoming meetings and conversations with significant people;

- a feeling of constraint in various companies, indecisiveness in carrying out any assignments or work (“I still won’t succeed”);

- sometimes, on the contrary, an excessive desire to attract attention to oneself (inappropriate behavior, appearance, manner of speaking).

Complexes can be of the following types.

Inferiority complex

- an unfounded belief of a person that he is inferior in some way, much worse than other people, inferior to them and therefore deserves an unkind and disrespectful attitude towards himself.

An inferiority complex arises due to:

— external, physical defects of a person (figure, face, arms, legs);

- internal, psychological deficiencies, including intelligence, speech, memory, attention, knowledge, abilities, skills, character traits.

Complex of suspiciousness and self-hypnosis

- a person’s constant, obsessive opinion that everyone is looking at him, discussing him, being dissatisfied with him, etc.

Superiority complex

- a person’s not entirely justified attitude that he is superior to the people around him (belonging to a superior race, a “better” clan, social group, or possessing special qualities, culture, abilities, knowledge) and that this gives him the right to enjoy special privileges.

Hostility complex

manifests itself in the increased aggressiveness of a person who may have strength and be confident that having strength (power) gives him the right to rule over other people, or in the conviction that all people are insidious and evil, and, therefore, aggressiveness is a forced the response of one person to the deceit of another.

Guilt complex

is expressed in the fact that a person with a highly developed conscience and sense of responsibility constantly worries about himself, his actions and similar actions of other people, and without proper reason. It often seems to him that he is personally to blame for what happens to him and around him, as well as to other people, although in reality this is not the case.

Protection complex

manifests itself in a person’s confidence that all the people around him are opposed to him and wish him harm. In this regard, a person is constantly ready to defend himself from people, although there is actually no need for this.

Exercise:

1. Have you ever felt any of the listed complexes in yourself?

2. How, in your opinion, can psychological complexes be overcome?

The role of the inferiority complex in human life.

People with an inferiority complex lack clarity about their main goals in life .

they manage their own lives poorly and over time turn it into a series of identical, joyless days filled with an avalanche of things to do, fatigue, confusion, irritation, fears, despair, and devastation. And if there are specific goals, then they are difficult to achieve, since there is no faith in the ability to do it. Control over life is lost, it is controlled by an inferiority complex with destructive attitudes: “I’m unlucky,” “I have such a character...”, “It’s always like this with me...”, “I can’t count on the best,” “Nothing depends on me.” “, “Life has passed and now everything is useless”, “I’m used to living like this...”. They bury their heads in the sand, avoiding real problems “inside themselves” or in a circle of similarly notorious individuals.

People with low self-esteem can easily lead a decent lifestyle, work hard and even achieve certain success1. But they are afraid of great success. Once achieved, results lead to corresponding expectations of others. And this scares them.

They are extremely dependent on significant figures in their lives,

They worry about how others will react to their words and actions, and often experience an exaggerated need for respect. They are characterized, on the one hand, by a fear of intimacy with other people, and on the other, by a fear of rejection,

intolerance of loneliness, a painful need for attention and sympathy, a pronounced unconscious desire for a symbiotic relationship in which one can dissolve, thereby sheltering oneself from various unbearable fears - fear of real life, personal responsibility and one’s own identity.

Thus, from the above we can conclude that an inferiority complex is indeed an obstacle to solving any life problems.

Causes of inferiority complex

The causes of an inferiority complex are varied. As a rule, these are a dysfunctional childhood, stereotypes existing in society, criticism and negative suggestions from others, failure in business and bad luck in life, lack of habit of confident behavior, negative self-hypnosis. In his works, Alfred Adler reveals the main ways in which the complex emerged2

• Hereditary factor.

Features of physical development (the presence of diseases, disabilities contributes to the formation of an inferiority complex), temperament (sanguine people are usually more sociable, active, can be the “life of the party”, a leader, while melancholic people are most often over-impressive, etc.), mental abilities (the complex is especially pronounced inferiority can be expressed in children with mental disabilities or mental retardation).

• Overprotective parents.

Excessive and obsessive care, expressed in limiting the child’s independence, the desire to protect him from any dangers of the world around him. A child who grew up in such a family experiences difficulties while growing up, it is difficult for him to acquire new skills (both in work and in everyday activities), he cannot make his own choice, solve problems that arise, and is inclined to shift responsibility to other people.

• Hypoprotective parents.

Depriving a child of care and attention from parents can lead to serious psychological problems. A child, left to his own devices from an early age, forced not to count on the help and support of loved ones, can, as a result, “earn” low self-esteem and an inferiority complex.

In addition to the already listed reasons for the emergence of the complex, one can also add the relationships that a child develops in society with teachers, with acquaintances, with classmates, and representatives of the opposite sex. As you know, the “spirit of collectivism” is widespread in children’s groups, where it is important for everyone to be “no worse than others” in order to avoid bullying by their peers. Any difference, any flaw in a child’s character, behavior, or appearance can be ridiculed by peers at school age. In addition, the imposition of stereotypes in the media plays a big role today. All TV channels demonstrate, for example, the 90 x 60 x 90 standards that all young people strive for. And those who fail to change themselves develop complexes. This leads to the fact that a distorted idea of ​​oneself is fixed in a person’s mind, causing him to think that he is worse than others, flawed, unattractive, and insignificant.

It is important to note the exceptional vulnerability of the teenage psyche, because it is at this age that an inferiority complex often “finds ground” in the human psyche. It is difficult for a teenager to adequately respond to the hurtful words of others, their indifference, because he does not yet have the knowledge necessary to analyze what caused a bad attitude or insult, how to reflect it, how to behave correctly.

The teenage psyche is very vulnerable. A teenager reacts much more painfully to any offensive remark, neglect, or offensive nickname. The reaction to a traumatic situation may be resentment, tears, or withdrawal.

Complexes can also develop if a teenager does not do well at school - for example, if there are no normal conditions for studying at home. A teenager who has a difficult situation at home grows up depressed, thoughtful, and lonely. He has no time for studying, he has his own, non-childish problems. The teenager gives up - why try if everyone considers him “stupid” and good for nothing?!

In addition

, not all parents understand how difficult it is for a teenager to go through the period of growing up, and instead of words of support they express complaints, criticize, lecture, and condemn the behavior of the teenager3. But it is encouraging words that can increase a person’s self-esteem.”

Ways to solve the problem

The problem is relevant - some children today actually have an inferiority complex that prevents them from developing harmoniously.

REMINDERS for parents (advice from children to parents), for teachers (advice from children to teachers) and for students on this issue. They can be used during classroom hours and parent-teacher meetings.

Memo for children

• Try not to compare yourself to those you consider better than yourself.
• Communicate more with people, and especially with those who bring positive emotions.
• Find something you love to do, it will help you realize yourself.
• Engage in physical activity or sports, this will help you solve the problem of excess weight.
• Imagine yourself as a successful person, thereby you will be able to set yourself in a positive mood.
• Don't pay attention to the standards that the media and people around you impose.
• Don't let your parents do for you what you can do yourself.
• Be happy to respond to parents' requests to help them.
• Don't make your parents think that you are still small and are not able to cope with the assigned task.
• Remember that life is easier for those people who know how to do a lot.

Memo for parents (Advice from children to parents)

• Give us as much attention as possible, but patronize us unnecessarily and do not “buy us off with gifts.”
• Don't pamper us and don't indulge our desires. You are spoiling us with this.
• Never compare us with the children of relatives or friends.
• Support us, praise us for good deeds.
• Never say the following phrases:

- What to expect from you...

- Nothing will come of you.

“With such a character, you will suffer all your life.”

- I myself know what you need.

- At your age...

- I warned you.

• Don't do for us what we can do ourselves.
• Be patient if we don't succeed.
• Don't be afraid to give us important assignments.
• Give us the opportunity to make our own decisions.
• Allow us to take the initiative.
• Don't be afraid to be firm and strict with us.
• Don't make us feel younger than we really are.
• Don't be inconsistent. This confuses us.

Memo for teachers (Advice from children to teachers)

• Try to see us as individuals.
• Accept us for who we really are.
• Don't be afraid to entrust us with important tasks.
• Never compare us to other children.
• Try not to criticize us in front of your classmates.
• Be patient if we don't succeed.
• Give us the opportunity to make our own decisions.
• . Personality surveillance

And now I invite you to take part in the game training:

Exercise “I'm glad to see you...”

Target

: identifying the positive aspects of the participants.

Progress of the exercise

Each participant turns to his neighbor with the words: “I’m glad to see you because...”. This statement needs to be continued not with external descriptions of the person, but with the personal qualities of the participants.

Issues for discussion:

1. Was it easy for you to do the exercise?
2. How did you feel when your neighbor spoke to you?
3. How did you feel when you had to address another person with the words “I'm glad to see you...”?
4. Was it easy for you to determine why you are glad to see your neighbor?
5. How often do you have to compliment people in your life?

Exercise
Working on the requests of teenagers
Purpose

: identification of adolescent problems.

Progress of the exercise

On each table there is an envelope with a letter, you are given 5 minutes to possibly resolve the problem of a particular child.

After the time has passed, read the letter and show ways to solve the problem.

Issues for discussion:

1Was it easy for you to do the exercise?

2.What feelings did you experience when reading the letters?

1. Exercise “Magic Mirrors”
2. Target

   : formation of a positive self-concept, increased self-confidence, decreased anxiety.

3. Materials

   : colored pencils, felt-tip pens, A4 paper.

4. Procedure

   : Teams are invited to draw themselves in 3 mirrors, but not simple, magical ones: in the first - small and scared, in the second - big and cheerful, in the third - not afraid of anything and strong.

Leading

. Often we carry through life a deeply hidden grudge against the people closest to us: father, mother, loved one, friend... Close your eyes and imagine a person who once, willingly or unwillingly, offended you... Remember those words, actions or silence, inaction that hurt you painfully, touched the thinnest strings of your soul...

• How did you feel then?
• What were the sensations in your body? How did your body respond to the insult?
• What thoughts came to mind?
• What did you want to do at that moment? What did you want to do but couldn't afford to do?

Art therapeutic technique “Sculpture of feeling”

Target

: Help you express your individuality.

Participants are invited, preserving the feelings that arose in the exercise “Touching the Resentment,” to sculpt their image from plasticine. It is important to choose appropriate music for this process. You can use Armenian folk melodies that feature the duduk, a wind instrument with a special viscous timbre. His voice is surprisingly in tune with the feelings associated with resentment.

What thoughts came to mind?

What did you want to do at that moment? What did you want to do but couldn't afford to do?

Exercise “Protective amulet”

It is believed that a talisman or amulet directly influences its owner, imparting qualities unusual to him, or influences events, averting or attracting them. From the point of view of an ordinary person, an amulet shapes his life; from the point of view of psychologists, a person himself shapes his life with the help of an amulet. I suggest you create your own amulet

Target

: reduction of psycho-emotional stress.

Materials

: A4 paper, colored cardboard, colored paper, plasticine, glue, scissors, threads, ribbons, buttons, rhinestones, glitter, cereals (buckwheat, rice), pasta (different in shape, size), beads, shells.

Procedure

: It is proposed to make yourself a personal amulet from the proposed materials to protect against fears.

Questions:

1. Introduce your amulet to others.
2. How does your amulet work?
3. What properties does it have?
4. How will he help you? Why were these particular materials chosen?

At the end of our work, I propose to conduct a reflection called “Stars”

Man and Star (parable)

Exercise: Reflection

Target

: Summarize the training

Materials:

Whatman paper with an image of the starry sky, cardboard star figures

Progress of the exercise

: I suggest you sum up our lesson, write down on your star what you liked today, what you can apply in life, if difficulties arose during the lesson, then what, attach them to our sky.

What can be done?

Parents can help a teenager cope with any dissatisfaction with himself, including an inferiority complex. The first thing you need to understand is that it is very difficult for your child now, both morally and physically. His rudeness towards you most likely carries resentment precisely for your inattention; it is a consequence of disappointment in you. You urgently need to rehabilitate yourself in front of your child. Talk to him, consult and listen to his opinion on any matter. Offer your teenager a vacation together or some activity that you didn’t have time for before.

Keep in mind that a young body has a lot of energy that needs to be spent. Even if a teenager has not played sports before, now is the time when it is simply necessary. Firstly, by getting in shape, a teenager begins to like himself. Secondly, in the sports section he can find new friends with whom he will always have common interests. Well, and thirdly, sporting achievements and praise from the coach will help the teenager grow in his own eyes, nullifying any complexes.

Don't dismiss your child's first unrequited love. After all, for him this is a very important event in life. Worry with him and tell him how you went through it yourself. At this age there are no small things, everything takes on a global scale.

If your teenage daughter insists on her ugliness, take her to a beauty salon, get a new hairstyle or change her image, this will help overcome many psychological problems about appearance.

Almost all people go through an inferiority complex during adolescence. Only for some it has the character of outbreaks, that is, appearing from time to time, while for others, self-flagellation can result in a protracted depression, the traces of which a person can carry throughout his life. However, if you are attentive to your child from the very beginning, then this phase of life can be lived painlessly, only by strengthening the mutual understanding between you.

How to get rid of an inferiority complex?

It is imperative to combat the problem of extreme self-doubt. You need to work on yourself constantly, not from time to time. The complex will not disappear on its own. How to get rid of such a complex? Can I do this myself?

Taking responsibility

Each person creates his own future. In order to free yourself from the prevailing problem, you need to take responsibility for what is happening to you personally. Understand that there is no point in starting to blame other people for something that only you can change. Accepting responsibility implies that it is necessary to give up the idea of ​​​​controlling everything, because this is, by definition, impossible. The sooner a person realizes this, the better. The complex itself is the result of an incorrect attitude towards oneself. If you work on a problem correctly, it will soon stop bothering you.

Clear goal

Self-realization is of great value. It helps us remain interesting to ourselves for a long time. The complex will stop asserting itself so strongly if you have a clear goal. It implies a very specific idea of ​​what you want to achieve. You can’t set vague goals for yourself or hope that someone will help you achieve it. It is imperative to understand what you are moving towards, where you are directing your efforts.

Thus, an inferiority complex is always associated with the fact that a person feels that he is not good enough to accept some benefits. She does not realize her own unique value, does not understand how to realize herself in this or that business. To get rid of the complex itself, you need to learn to think differently. If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, contact the Irakli Pozharisky Psychology Center for help. Working with a specialist will help you understand yourself and find ways of individual self-realization.

Read in detail about the main human complexes.