Male complexes: psychology
The psychology of male complexes is a subtle branch of science that every man needs to understand. This is necessary so that the complex does not turn into a serious problem.
Causes of complexes in men
The first and main reason for the appearance of male complexes is social pressure. In society, a young man must meet standards to be a man. Otherwise, individuals ossified by stereotypes will begin to doubt his masculinity (expectations of what a man should be).
Only in the 21st century is the deadly phrase “a man should” gradually erased. But progress reaches the CIS in millimeter steps. A short guide to what a man still owes in the 21st century:
- to be courageous (and the concept of masculinity is vague);
- be super-successful by the age of 25-30, or even immediately after kindergarten;
- endure abusive attitudes from women (this happens, and very often);
- create a family, at the same time be in demand for women;
- have tall height, good genetics;
- be able to repair a socket and lay tiles (which is very difficult without a specialized education).
As you understand, it is impossible to meet all standards.
Male complexes - from childhood
Boys who were raised in single-parent families suffer especially acutely from male complexes. They were raised and surrounded by women who, in most cases, scolded the father who left the family. The boy, willy-nilly, understood that he was also a man. If grandmothers scolded the entire male race during drunken feasts, does that mean he, like everyone else, is bad?
The most common male complexes of our time
A man has complexes because of money
Hypermasculine men are acutely experiencing a lack of money. Those who want to support a woman, have their own car park and a large house overlooking the sea. With modern salaries, few people succeed. Therefore, unprincipled sections of society commit crimes for the sake of material values.
Middle-aged man complex
Both sexes experience a midlife crisis, but men experience it more acutely. The middle-age complex is getting younger: previously people suffered from it after 40, but now it creeps up to 30 years. This includes depression due to unrealized opportunities, lack of family, and savings.
Men's complexes about appearance
Appearance for a man does not play a primary role. However, even from school, the boy understands that girls pay attention to their prettier classmates. This gives rise to the fear that someone so ugly will never find a mate.
Kotovsky syndrome is the fear of becoming bald ahead of time. At the same time, bald men are often considered masculine and are popular with women.
Napoleon complex - a complex of a short man
The concept of masculinity has almost become equal to height 180+. The average height of men in Russia according to 2013 data is 176 cm. An absolutely healthy height for a man can vary from 162 to 190 cm in adulthood. But short men prefer to compensate for the lack of height with excessive aggression, imperial manners or the accumulation of material values.
Alexander complex
The big fear of a stereotypical man is the fear of being mistaken for a gay person. Any hint of belonging to the LGBT movement causes strong aggression, even a fight. You've probably heard about latent homosexuality. The Alexander complex is a direct manifestation of it. According to statistics, the more vehemently a man denies a same-sex relationship, the more he suppresses the desire to engage in it.
Why do husbands create complexes for their loved ones?
- No, no, dear, I won’t go for plastic surgery!
A case from one's life. Recently, a friend came and told me how her husband got her. He reproaches her for being fat. “Am I really fat?” she asks in despair. And she herself is a fashion model with long legs and a thin waist. Whenever we see her, we both swear to go on a diet. And is she the fat one?
And this case is quite typical. One doesn’t seem tall enough for her husband, the other has crooked legs, the third has done her hair the wrong way, the fourth doesn’t dress the right way...
It would be nice if the criticism came from strangers, this can still be tolerated (although it is also offensive). But the most painful thing is when you hear unpleasant words addressed to you from a loved one. At the same time, it seems that while he says nasty things, he also gets pleasure.
And women, by the way, develop different complexes from all this.
In general, it’s time to talk about how men bully us for no reason. Tired of it! Women's wisdom says: you cannot criticize a man so as not to cause him irreparable mental trauma! Does that mean you can blame a woman?!
First, let's try to understand the reasons for this behavior of men.
WHY DO THEY CRITICISE US
KITCHEN Gatherings
All women listen to this
Dasha : - One beloved man talked to me for a long time about my fat butt. I didn’t fall for it, then he started singing about his belly. He immediately fell out of love and was thrown out of life. The current friend does not openly criticize, but he really admires skinny blondes with straight hair. But most of all, to be honest, I have a complex about my height!
Tanya : - Come on, you have a normal average height.
Dasha : - According to psychoanalysts, he is average - 162 cm. But in life it turns out that he is small. When I outgrew my mother, I relaxed: that’s it, I’m no longer short. How sadly I was wrong! My men convince me that the average height is now 170 cm. And my mother, apparently, is a pigmy. But in the 70s she had a frantic number of fans. I remember how some bearded guy (not dad) picks her up in his arms and spins her around the room. The mantra was: “A small woman is made for love, and a big woman is made for work.” Now what?
Tanya : - Don’t tell me! It’s no longer enough to just be a pretty woman. You must be a potential top model. Otherwise, there seems to be no reason to love you. If I should criticize the fifth point, please! These are my 96 cm! Or breasts, you know, of a slow size. Huge amounts of money are being made from our complexes. One anti-cellulite tube is not cheaper than two thousand rubles. Or the flat stomach misconception! It shouldn’t be flat, it’s a vessel of life. And as long as a woman has a slightly convex tummy in the shape of a cup, she is fertile. And what is the “breast” industry worth?
Dasha : — The entire Internet is filled with hysterics about excess weight. “It’s terrible, I’ve gained weight to 50 kg! My husband is shocked!” As you read, it turns out that a 50-kilogram “fat woman” is 170 tall. And this is a model proportion: weight = height - 120.
Tanya : - It is men who push their women towards mental disorder. A psychiatrist I know tells horrifying stories of how ex-girlfriends are brought to him. Former ones, because now they are skeletons covered in skin. They can barely move, have difficulty speaking. They refuse to eat with the words: “I’m already fat!” These beauties were finished off by their young men. Just read on the forums what they write about the ideals of female beauty!
Dasha : - “Males like a figure of 90 - 60 - 90, because it bears healthy offspring.” Where did he get this from?! According to scientific data, to bear offspring you need a wide pelvis, at least 100 cm. Have you heard that the State Duma wants to ban erotica in the media? And some are indignant in response: they say that naked women help solve the demographic problem. And if you remove sexual images from the media, men will supposedly lose interest in women. But when they see erotic pictures, they begin to compare the girls on the poster with their wife. It is clear in whose favor. I make an improvement proposal: let Venus de Milo or at least Tauride sometimes advertise tights.
Tanya : - Yes, and let the Three Graces wash themselves with shower gel. Then our men will get used to a variety of types of beauty. Some are a busty skeleton, others are a harmonious, healthy woman. Finally, a practical tip: if your husband bullies you, buy an art album and put it in a visible place. Let him be enlightened.
MALE LOOK
Or maybe he just doesn't love you?
The question, as far as I understand, is this: any critical remark addressed to a woman causes irreparable harm to her and leads to the development of various kinds of complexes. Therefore, no criticism.
As a person of a critical mind, this puts me in a very difficult position. Let's say my woman put on yellow shorts and a blouse with lurex, and tied a scarf with Mickey Mouse around her neck. Should I express my opinion or, according to the latest developments, should I blurt out: “Honey, you look wonderful”? I feel like I have a say. But I'm already afraid to use it. Because my beloved may develop a complex. And it will be me who is to blame, not her inability to dress properly.
Let's say my sweetheart dyed her hair the color of a genetically modified strawberry. I'm silent again.
Or her passion for baking added another six kilos to her already considerable weight, which, you know, are deposited in the most noticeable places. Pretend not to notice? Or should I still draw her attention?
Or here's another situation. The woman is a bad cook. Well, it's really bad. The question of survival: is it at risk to your health to eat her burnt pancakes and thin, over-salted broth? Or should I give her a signal? And then she will burst into tears, slam the plate against the wall and call you an ungrateful freak.
Troubles in your personal life, of course, can be explained by the fact that the entire fashion industry is working against you, driving standards of female beauty into dull men’s heads. It is also very convenient to think that a man allows himself to criticize a woman because he himself is a notorious bastard. This is much more convenient than watching your figure. But sooner or later he will ask the question: “Why am I living with this unkempt, overweight person when there are so many sweet and attractive women around?”
Can men not criticize their women? They can. Do women need this? I doubt. I understand that a lot depends on the form. There is a significant difference between “I think this dress makes you look a little fat” and “again dressed like a cow.” In the first case, there is simply a desire to suggest something. In the second, it’s much worse: most likely, he simply doesn’t love you. By the way, they forgot to include this reason in the sign. And the models with their exemplary figures have nothing to do with it.
Alexander MONOGAMOV
BY THE WAY
According to the Institute of Sociology of the Russian Academy of Sciences, the period when she has a small child in her arms is very dangerous for a woman. She becomes dependent on her husband. And the man loosens his belt. Now his wife won’t get away from him.
Here are the three most common types of reproaches:
1. Bad wife, mistress, bad character.2. Ugly.3. Stupid.
Male complexes in relationships
Relationships are a real minefield for men. It is not customary to discuss personal life between guys, so all traumas and experiences often develop into complexes.
Men's complexes and fears of women
Just a few centuries ago, men and women were raised separately. Girls were feared and respected, because they did not know how to behave with them. Now there is no such problem: schools and kindergartens are common. But a relic of the past remained in the minds of men.
Don Juan syndrome
A man’s desire to take possession of a large number of lovers is called the Don Juan complex. This also includes the fear of a serious relationship. With a large number of girls, he seeks to prove to society his worth in sexual terms. At the same time, Don Juan changes partners so often because he is afraid of being defeated with one woman.
Othello complex
The problem of morbid jealousy is more common in men. If women tend to throw tantrums, then a jealous man may resort to assault. Even if his companion sits at home all day and crochetes, he will find a reason to be jealous.
Male complexes in sexual relationships
For most men, the main thing in a relationship is sex. Satisfying your partner becomes a top priority. The catch is that the fear of appearing helpless causes sexual problems, and not the other way around.
A man’s experiences in his sexual life boil down to one thing – the fear of failure. Often men's complexes in bed are associated with traumatic experiences. The partner could make fun of the man's genitals, make a caustic comment, or otherwise offend. A man will remember this behavior forever, and his complexes in bed will haunt him all his life.
Man's complex about size
It’s not for nothing that the male genital organ is called “dignity.” Its size directly affects the self-esteem of a young man. Although sexologists have long proven that size does not matter, it is difficult to knock this stereotype out of people’s minds.
Male sexual complexes
The style of behavior of men in bed sometimes surprises women. The reason is that the stronger sex, like the weaker sex, is subject to the influence of sexual complexes. Psychological pressures can not only prevent you from getting true pleasure from sex, but also pose a danger to your intimate partner! There is an invisible thin line between normality and sexual pathology. How do you know when you can make your love bed a haven of happiness on your own, and when it is better to seek help from a specialist? If the scenarios described below are repeated repeatedly or even cause legitimate concerns, you cannot do without the intervention of a professional! Informed means armed. Find out all about common sexual complexes!
Don Quixote complex
A man identifies himself with a knight errant who wanders around the world in search of his beloved. His chosen one is idealized, endowed with those character traits that a man likes. He becomes a slave at her feet, and she becomes his angel and muse, but only as long as she meets his expectations. As soon as a woman's behavior goes against his expectations of her, she may be punished. Living with such a man is walking on the edge of a knife, which can lead to very sad circumstances.
Don Juan complex
He likes to win a woman, seeking favor with him and hoping to receive from her all the joys of intimacy. He acts as a cynical pick-up artist, trying to induce sex with as many people of the opposite sex as possible. But as soon as he gets what he wants, his interest in his sexual partner disappears, he will no longer meet with her and will not continue his courtship. Sexologists claim that the underlying reason for this complex is a man’s lack of confidence in his own sexual viability. By acting in this way, he increases his self-esteem.
Dirty questions for a girl
Leontas complex
The name of the complex comes from the name of Shakespeare's character. King Leontes, the main character of the famous work “The Winter's Tale,” groundlessly suspected his wife of adultery. His pathological jealousy called into question his own paternity. The Leontes man experiences painful, often causeless jealousy of his partner. As soon as she becomes pregnant, he will demand evidence of his involvement in the child and DNA testing. If the wife refuses, he will not fulfill natural parental responsibilities, constantly tormenting his wife with suspicions and doubts.
Small “dignity” complex
It starts in childhood. The boy, seeing that his genitals are smaller than those of his brothers, comrades or father, withdraws into himself, acquiring a persistent prejudice that he will not be happy in his sexual life. Due to the fear of ridicule and jokes, mental disorders may occur on this basis.
Othello complex
Named after the central character in Shakespeare's play. A man experiences painful jealousy of his partner, is afraid of losing her and experiencing the ridicule of others. Against the backdrop of alcohol consumption, this complex only gets worse; his imagination depicts scenes of betrayal with the participation of his wife, which becomes extremely dangerous for her life.
Madonna and Whore Complex
A man wants to find both virtue and sexual abandon in his chosen one. His woman must be devoted and faithful to him, have a quiet disposition and a high degree of sacrifice, but at the same time, on the love bed, her fate is to be accessible, extremely liberated, ready to do anything for him. If he does not meet such a woman (which happens very often), he chooses a Madonna woman for the family nest, but looks for the Harlot on the side. Constant betrayal is inevitable.
Oedipus complex
The name of the complex is based on the plot of the ancient Greek myth about King Oedipus. Without knowing this, the main character kills his father and marries his mother. In the realities of modern times, this complex implies the unconscious sexual attraction of a boy, youth, man to his mother and, as a result, the desire for death for his father.
Dirty sex games
Macho Complex
A man bases his behavior on the basis of his own conclusions about the ideal representative of the stronger sex. He has a distinctly masculine appearance (for which he engages in sports and martial arts), has great physical strength, is assertive and tenacious. Rudeness and aggressiveness often creep into his behavior. To prove his masculine worth, he uses the services of girls of easy virtue, and may be involved in homosexual relationships as a sexual dominant. His attitude towards a woman is twofold - on the one hand, she must be quiet and submissive, on the other hand, she must be easily accessible, mastering many sexual techniques in order to please her partner. In this sense, the Macho complex has some similarities with the Madonna and Whore complex.
Tristan and Isolde complex
Characteristic of a young couple - a man and a woman. Having violated the vow of premarital relations, young people experience a feeling of guilt and awkwardness. They are overwhelmed by conflicting feelings: on the one hand, the forbidden fruit is sweet, on the other, a feeling of anxiety constantly keeps them in suspense. But when sexual relations become “legal” (after marriage registration), psychological tension disappears and intimacy loses its attractiveness. The young people cool off towards each other, excitement disappears, interest in love relationships disappears.
