In Novosibirsk, a gang of teenagers attacked a female taxi driver, who was detained for assaulting a woman

Russian women have suffered because we do not have real men. “Real colonels” are worth their weight in gold, and they are found mainly in women's novels. Where has this notorious masculinity gone in men, which the fair half of humanity so craves?

To be honest, most males remain teenagers, or even toddlers, for the rest of their lives. Is it possible to have a serious relationship with such teenagers and is it worth dedicating your life to them?

Mitrofanushki

In Russia, in fact, there are many men whose psychological age is far behind their passport age. But sometimes a woman really wants to be weak!

Sexologist S. Liebig believed that a married couple can coexist peacefully only if the spouses take positions that complement each other. Therefore, if a man takes the position of a “son,” that is, behaves like a child, then a woman should take the position of a “mother.” The only trouble is that in this situation the woman is unlikely to feel happy.

So why do many men prefer to adhere to this particular line of behavior? But for him, like Fonvizin’s Mitrofanushka, it’s more convenient, and he’s not going to leave his comfort zone. Who raises boys? A mother who demands obedience, then a kindergarten teacher and a school teacher who demand the same. Agree, it is almost impossible to grow up as a real man in such conditions.

What kind of men do women like?

Masculinity in no way depends on external data. Byron was lame and ugly, but English ladies did crazy things because of him. And there are hundreds of such examples. Only very primitive-minded women think that a real hero-lover is a glamorous macho. First of all, a man must be confident in himself. A woman is more likely to accept a man's self-confidence than to be looked down upon. If a woman wants a prince to be with her, she inevitably needs to become Cinderella, but not a mother-mentor.

Guys in short pants

What are the signs of eternal teenagers raised by dominant mothers?

A man becomes confused and even depressed when he is forced to show maturity. Usually these men are cheerful and pleasant to talk to, they are easy-going. A woman happily spends time with such a gentleman, but only until some kind of “overlap” happens, for example, he is fined at the traffic police post or reprimanded by his superiors at work. This is where a man becomes a real child, and all his reactions are teenage.
The man shows emotions characteristic of children and adolescents. Yes, yes, such representatives of the stronger sex are capable of bursting into tears or even throwing a tantrum for any reason.
He has problems with self-control. Spending all the money on beer and pizza or on computer games is a common thing for him. He does not think about tomorrow and lives for momentary pleasures.
The man runs away from any promises and serious relationships. The very concept of “family and children” leads him to a state of confusion, and even horror.
Avoiding problems and immersing yourself in the world of illusions is another characteristic feature of the eternal child. That is why such men are not able to solve problems; they often become alcoholics, drug addicts or gamblers.
The inability to resolve conflicts is one of the main signs of “Mitrofanushki”. They will either “make a fuss” or blame the woman for everything, trying to make her feel guilty.
Even in his thirties, a man dresses like a teenager. Loves teen prints and hates suits and ties.
He is not clean and does not like cleaning. Such a gentleman does not look very neat, unless, of course, a caring mother takes care of him.
He will not do absolutely anything for a woman that will require any significant effort from him. On the contrary, he will gradually shift all his everyday problems onto her.
Such men always show signs of narcissism.

For the sake of his child, he beat someone else's. What is known about the man who broke a child’s arm on the playground?

Abuse of a child on a playground formed the basis of a criminal case. The father of one of the children intervened in the fight. And he broke the arm of his son’s opponent. The man was sent to jail. Correspondent of the St. Petersburg TV channel Igor Ivanov plunged into the conflict between fathers and children.

Children's playground near house No. 70 on Prosveshcheniya Avenue. A teenager films a fight between two boys on his phone. Suddenly, an adult man appears in the frame. He separates the fighters. They disappear from the frame, but everything is recorded by a surveillance camera on the building. The man lifts one of the teenagers, grabbing him by the hood and trousers, and throws him to the ground head down. This is the father of another participant in the conflict. His son continues to kick his opponent.

- He broke my arm.

The man does not pay attention to the children's cries. Continues to threaten children.

- Dont touch him! You too, understand? Don't touch him at all. A beaten child has a displaced fracture of his arm. The offender, Zhaffar Irnazarov, was detained after the video went viral on the Internet. He was accused of intentionally causing moderate bodily harm to a child. Irnazarov was sent to jail.

This woman is the wife of the accused. She claims that her child was provoked. She first offered to express her position to her son, a participant in the fight:

– At school, when I met them, they called me names. And because of them, I almost dropped the tray I was holding. I actually may have done this. I kicked him with my foot. And because of this, his arm broke. Dad is innocent.

MAFTUZA IRNAZAROVA, wife of Zhaffar Irnazarov: “And my husband is very good. We didn't want them to do that. I want to apologize as a human being.”

The family came from Central Asia. Irnazarov is 36 years old. He is a pensioner of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Uzbekistan. Officially, it does not work anywhere in St. Petersburg. Refused to admit guilt. Cases where parents attack other people's children are not uncommon. This summer, on the playground, a woman attacked a 12-year-old girl: she pushed the child to the ground.

In February, two football players quarreled after a competition at a sports center on Sofiyskaya Street. The mother of one of them grabbed the T-shirt and threw it onto the lawn of an opponent who was running after her son. The mother of the offended child also intervened in the conflict.

In November, a quarrel in a parent chat ended in shooting from a traumatic pistol on Torez Avenue. Six fathers who took part in the brawl were then detained.

IGOR IVANOV, correspondent:
“The infantilism and irresponsibility of adults who have not left childhood can, and have recently, led to tragic consequences.”

Zhaffar Irnazarov broke the boy's arm. The Investigative Committee is looking into the case. According to the law, Irnazarov could face up to five years in prison.

"Yandex.News"
Instagram
"In contact with"
Telegram

Photo and video: TV channel “St. Petersburg”

How to build a relationship with an “eternal teenager”

What to do if a similar situation arises in a woman’s life? Run away from such a gentleman at breakneck speed or try to somehow re-educate an adult boy?

Let's say right away: it is almost impossible to change a person. Therefore, if on a woman’s path she meets a man of this type, and she is not ready to become his mother, mentor and secretary all rolled into one, then it is better to end the relationship with him immediately. Falling in love will never turn into love if a woman does not respect her partner.

What if such a “miracle of nature” has already become someone’s husband? Does the couple have a common household, real estate and two or three children? As a rule, such women tolerate their betrothed all their lives, and there is nothing to be done about it - a person’s comfort zone is purely individual, and everyone has what they want. Many women like the role of protector and savior so much that it is their conscious choice. Well, if you still want to correct your husband’s behavior, it is important to move away from the role of mother as far as possible and promote the development of responsibility and independence in a man. Moreover, it will not be possible to remake and force; there is only the opportunity to try to give direction, push, put in such circumstances when it becomes necessary for the man himself to show the above-mentioned qualities.

There can be no guarantee of success here, because most often a woman has lived in such an environment for most of her life, creating it with her own hands, indulging the man and provoking him to remain infantile. At the same time, a woman will never admit this either to herself or to others. But you can try!

It's no secret that you need to approach the choice of a life partner wisely and objectively. When we are in love, it is very difficult to take off our rose-colored glasses. But if a woman wants to play the role of a mother only in relation to her own children, and not to her mother-in-law’s child, then she will have to take a sober look at reality.

Andrey Nerovnykh

In our society, in our time, male infantilism as a phenomenon is experiencing an unprecedented flourishing. How to recognize a big child?

If it's an elephant, what is it? Trunk and ears. Tiger - stripes and teeth with claws. The lion is the mane and label of the king of beasts. The fact that a man is infantile.

Here are its main features. What is called a classic of the genre. These signs accompany an immature male individual through life always and in any era:

Close connection with parents. Of course, first of all with my mother. But this does not mean that the infant is in an ideal relationship with her. He often makes scandals, sorts things out with her, and demonstrates independence. But this only illustrates his dependence on his mother, and “independent” and impudent behavior is precisely characteristic of real teenage boys, and not mature guys. The mother of such a “boy” is always present in all areas of his life - personal, family. And if the mother is a businessman or has a source of financial well-being, then they break off all relations with the mother and stop communicating, but she is still present invisibly in personal relationships, not allowing the “umbilical cord” to break, and insists on resuming communication. Consulting with your mother at important moments in life, hiding closer to her, your dear and beloved, during a quarrel with your wife, for example, is the first thing for such adult boys. And if a man is not burdened by life with his mother under the same roof, his psychological dependence is obvious.
The second sign is pronounced egocentrism. Such boys, fed by their mother with information about their handsomeness, intelligence, good manners, prospects, etc., remain in a pink cloud of opinion about their personality, like five-year-old, plump-cheeked, strong ones holding their mother’s palm tightly in their man’s. Naturally, the desires of such a hero are above all. His opinion is always the most correct. His knowledge, in all areas, is unlimited and unquestioning. Accordingly, everything he thinks and desires is the truth and is subject to fulfillment by everyone around him. The main object of this projection of exclusivity is the wife. But more on that later. And the wives of such men usually don’t last long on the first try. For some reason they always end up with bad and incorrect ones. The measure of the correctness of another person’s behavior for the big kid is whether the other person does everything as the big boy sees fit. It doesn’t matter where - on the street, at work, at home, in bed. And for everything that doesn’t work out, naturally, the other person is to blame.
Lack of independence. This trait is often hidden. Seems to be successful. Has a business or a prestigious job. It seems like he makes decisions. Has money, an expensive car, well dressed. That is, he is able to make decisions and even be responsible for them, but often in everyday life all responsibility is shifted to others. And responsibility for failures in the family is most often shifted onto the shoulders of the spouse.
Responsibility avoidance reaction. For any difficulties in life. At work, in the family, in finances, and in everyday life, big children choose an avoidance strategy. In the event of a conflict or difficult situation, they can simply leave the house screaming or silently, go to live with their mother for a while. Or - the trick of our time: “Let’s live separately for a few days, I need to understand myself.” Often such “aged boys” run away in the evenings to the circle of similar teenage guys. Addictions are formed on this basis - alcohol, for example, gaming: they also replace reality, which an infantile man avoids deciding.
Such guys often have a financial deficit, if they were unlucky with their sponsoring parents, or they lacked their intelligence, or simply luck. A lot of such men end up in debt to banks and friends. And if the situation develops, then criminal decisions will lead to personal monetary deficit.
One of the main signs of kindergarten is what? That's right - toys. What do bearded guys play? A picture of our days. Evening. After work. The wife is cooking. The machine is washing. The child does not do his homework. And the big child, tired of righteous labors, “rests” in tanks or in cars. In this sphere - the sphere of entertainment - there is simply no difference between an adult infantile and an ordinary child and male teenager. If you have more money, the toys are more expensive. Instead of a used nine - an expensive racing car. Instead of skis - an expensive snowmobile, etc. Such men convince others and themselves, first of all, that this is not a kindergarten, but the earned right to rest of a mature man.
In relations with women, the behavior of infantile men is no different from the behavior of kindergarteners with toys. They show off their new toys to each other. They talk about their merits, demonstrate them to others, and envy those who have a brighter and newer toy. It's worse when they change them or sell them. There is an entire male subculture where this attitude towards women is welcomed and is the basis.
Another quality of such men towards women is jealousy. Of course, for the most beautiful, smart and correct boy, what is the worst thing? The fact that someone else will be preferred to him, that there is someone more rosy, more obedient and better.
A few more options for the behavior of infantile men in everyday life. They are simple. “I don’t want to do this and I won’t.” “I’m too busy at work, so leave me alone.” “I make money from you all here, and therefore my opinion is the law.”

The origins of male infantilism.

In our country, as many researchers believe, male infantilism is historically determined. Russia has always been at war. Our country has always had to defend itself; it was and is a very tasty morsel for “partners” from the West, South and East. Men have fought and died in wars for centuries. The boys were raised by their mothers. From generation to generation, female reflexes, behavioral traits, and habits were passed on by caring mothers to their male children. A woman was often in a Russian family for both father and mother. Constant female guardianship and care emphasized the importance and exclusivity of the boy. A male child became the subject of protection and care. And the one who grew up in a state of female hyperprotection and protection, all his life then associates the state of his comfort and well-being with the extent to which he continues to be the center of attention and interest from others. But this is only one of the reasons - historical; the rest require special analysis and consideration. I can say one thing: there are plenty of such men at a psychotherapist’s appointment. Some with failures in family life, some in the intimate sphere, some simply with severe hypochondria, some with harmful addictions and addictions.

Family with an infantile man.

The conflict in such a family is that the man sees and looks for a mother in a woman, not a woman. As soon as a woman becomes such a man’s mother, namely: she washes, fattens, calms, caresses (by the way, this is how infantile men often portray the ideal of a woman), she ceases to exist as a woman in his eyes. She is subconsciously perceived as MOM. The tragedy of such relationships is that a woman wants to be a woman in the family, not a mother, and wants to have a man next to her, not a son with a beard. The result is discord in family relationships, in the intimate sphere, and domestic conflicts. Such men demand from a woman unquestioning fulfillment of responsibilities in everyday life, in the family, in raising children, in bed, in everything according to his idea of \u200b\u200bcomfort in life. And if a woman takes on such a role, she finally begins to be perceived by such a man as a mother. And what does he do? That's right - he's looking for a woman on the side. The more a wife cares for such a man, the more she herself ceases to perceive him as a man, and more as an object of care - a child. That is, from that moment on, the man in her life disappears, and female sexuality disappears. The conflict in such a family becomes double-edged, and often such a family loses its sense of happiness and falls apart.

What to do about it?

A woman in such a family needs to understand that a man is not a child and stop being his mother. A woman must accept the fact that life for a man in a family kills both him as a man for her and her as a woman for him. This approach kills the relationship between a man and a woman. Endless indulgence of a man’s whims and desires is a road to nowhere. For the benefit and development of relationships in the family, to raise full-fledged children, a woman must be self-sufficient and loving, first of all herself, and not her over-aged baby. All the same, no matter how hard she tries to love him, she won’t be better than his own mother, and she will cease to be a woman in his eyes.

What should a man try to do?

Although it is difficult for an infantile man to do this on his own: first of all, stop shifting responsibility for everyday life to the woman. Stop believing that somewhere there is a wonder woman who is a household harvester at home, a professor in raising children and an insatiable fire in bed. There are no such women. Such women are a classic dream subject for a man-child. And for such a woman to appear, you yourself need to become an active, independent solver of everyday problems, a professor in raising children and a physiologically active man in bed. And do not shift responsibility for these areas of family life onto the woman.