Why do some ladies want to date married people?
But what can push a woman or a young lady into such a relationship, because, as will become clear later, she basically does not have the future so expected by most ladies?
A relationship with a married man (the advice of a psychologist about which we are considering) turns out to be very tempting for some women. Such a gentleman, as a rule, is gallant, knows how to look after beautifully, does not skimp on compliments and gifts, and looks more reliable and respectable than bachelors of all ages.
And some ladies are driven to do this by the desire to assert themselves. After all, at home they no longer feel welcome as before, and the relationship with their husband is gradually slipping into the realm of endless solving everyday problems. And here everything is like in my youth!
But there is also a category of women who are specifically looking for relationships that have no future. They are driven to this by childhood experiences - either they grew up in a single-parent family, where the mother was busy with work and could not pay due attention to the child’s mental state, or in a complete family the father treated his daughter distantly. In such cases, girls are afraid to start a family.
If you listen to the answer to the question: “Is it worth continuing an affair with a married man?” - advice from a psychologist, then it turns out that such a connection can be very useful for some ladies.
- For young and very poor young ladies, these relationships often turn out to be a way to improve their well-being. True, the main thing here is not to sell yourself short and agree only to real help and expensive gifts.
- For convinced feminists, such a relationship is an opportunity to maintain freedom and independence while having a permanent sexual partner.
- In addition, a woman who has a married lover can at the same time look for her future husband, without rushing to everyone who is more or less suitable, since she is satisfied and calm.
- And for married ladies, such relationships can add the thrill that is missing in family life and serve as confirmation of their undiminished feminine attractiveness.
As you can see, with a conscious and calm position in the mentioned connection, both a man and a woman can discover a lot of positive and beneficial things for both parties.
But, as you understand, most often a woman’s relationship with a married man is not at all rosy. The psychologist’s advice here is always the same - do not create illusions when entering into such a relationship. Remember:
- Over time, it becomes more and more difficult for a woman to realize that her man belongs to another. And imagining him in his wife’s arms, she can even reach a nervous breakdown.
- Sooner or later, the wife will still find out about her husband’s relationship on the side. And this will not lead to anything good.
- It is very difficult to put up with the feeling of being “second fiddle”, because for such a man, family will still come first.
- Meetings in fits and starts, for a short time, the inability to spend a vacation together, celebrate holidays - all this will make the life of a mistress very sad, and she will definitely think about whether it is worth continuing to maintain such a complex and sometimes humiliating relationship.
Reluctant mistress
A woman can openly talk about her serious intentions, and a man can deceive her, promising to leave his wife and marry her. Here a woman may turn out to be a reluctant mistress.
Men and women play games. Instead of truly loving and dating those who are truly valuable and needed for a long-term relationship, people try to fool each other. This state of affairs may suit you if we are talking about sales or business relationships. But when it comes to love, where people unite because of feelings and mutual sympathy, deception and betrayal are painfully experienced.
Women think that they manipulate men and are able to bend them to their will. Men give in, but only in appearance. In fact, they are playing their own game, in which they drag unsuspecting women into.
Do you want to become a lover? Not all women agree to have this status. If you are not ready to be a mistress, then do not let a man make you one.
A man does not have to be married to make his partners his mistresses. If you are dating a partner who has a family (wife and children), then, no matter what kind words he calls you, you are a mistress, woman number two, who has no rights and is not worthy of demanding anything from him. If you sleep with a married man, it was your choice. And the fact that he promised you does not make him obligated. A married man owes only to his wife and children. Do you have a stamp in your passport indicating that your partner is your husband? If not, then you cannot demand anything.
A man is not always married, so his woman does not consider herself a mistress. “If there is no wife, then there is no mistress either,” the woman thinks. But a mistress is not just a status, but a role that you play in a man’s life. He may be completely free from marital ties, but treat you as a temporary partner. He sleeps with you, sometimes spends time, sees you when he’s bored, but there is no talk of marriage and children, since this is not part of his plans. What you plan is none of his business. A man always does what he plans for himself.
Just because a man is single does not make you his favorite woman. Often a man gets a woman to satisfy his physical and emotional needs. The stronger sex can sleep with those for whom it has no feelings. After all, we are talking about physical needs that can simply be satisfied and... part with.
If you don’t want to be a mistress not of your own free will, but simply because a man makes you that way, don’t play his game. While you are busy trying to marry him, he is busy trying to trick you into something sweet and then run away in time. Stop playing your own games and look at the game your boyfriend is playing. A man will not succumb to your manipulations. He will get what he wants and leave if he needs it.
It doesn’t matter whether a man is married or single, he behaves the same way with a woman who considers him his mistress:
- He calls when it is convenient for him. These calls can often take place in the evening to meet late at night and hang out until the morning.
- Does not make joint plans for the future. You can dream, but for a man this does not mean giving his consent. If he avoids talking about family and children, does not take specific actions to propose marriage to you, then you are his mistress.
- He doesn’t pay attention to your wishes, only sometimes fulfills your whims, he only considers his own opinion.
- Live separately. It’s good for him when you see each other, but don’t live together.
- He says practically nothing about his life. He doesn’t have enough time to get to know his parents and friends, he has no desire, citing the fact that your relationship has not yet reached the stage where you can get to know your relatives. In general, a man fences you off from his life by any means, does not let you into it, does not allow you to become a part of it.
- Spends most or half of his free time not with you. A man can relax, but with friends or other people. If such pastime happens often, your partner does not consider you his woman.
- May come to meet a friend. Instead of spending a romantic evening, he turns the meeting into a friendly get-together.
Simply put, your relationship is not like family life. If you are still young, then some of the above actions can still be attributed to immaturity. However, if you and your partner have already passed the 30-year mark, then such behavior can only indicate frivolity of feelings. Look at the man's behavior. To what future is he leading you to evaluate your role in his game - the woman he loves or just a temporary mistress?
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Why does a married lady need this connection?
A man is looking for benefits, but what is the basis of a relationship between a married woman and a married man? Her psychology is simple - a woman asserts herself or compensates for what she lacks in the family.
People who are amorous and overly emotional easily enter into new relationships. But most often this happens if the husband is not affectionate enough or is not able to satisfy his partner. And if a woman discovers that her husband is cheating on her, then the desire for revenge may throw her into the arms of her lover.
From all that has been said above, we hope you understand that a married man, when going in search of a mistress, least of all thinks about creating some kind of serious relationship and dreams only of new intense feelings and sexual pleasure. That is why a relationship with a married man has no prospects and in the vast majority of cases is doomed to break. So maybe you should avoid it from the very beginning? Well, of course, this does not apply to those who take such a connection lightly, and those to whom for some reason it seems very convenient.
Yes, if you are planning a relationship with a married man, only you will decide what to do (support them or not), but remember: too much is being put on this altar. Such a relationship can only be short-lived and non-binding. Even if a miracle happens and your lover gets divorced to marry you, you can only dream of peace: after all, now your spouse can just as easily leave you as soon as he feels the boredom of everyday life - he already has experience!
If a woman wants, despite everything, to maintain a long-term relationship with a married man, the advice of a psychologist will help her learn several rules that she will have to follow.
- Never criticize your loved one's spouse. Even if he complains about her and talks about some misunderstandings in their life together, the man will react painfully to criticism from his mistress - after all, his wife has long become a part of him, and he constantly feels a connection with her.
- No one should know about your relationship. After all, all this can reach your wife, and she, believe me, will be able to force her husband to stop what you value so much now.
- Don't put pressure on your lover - men can't stand that. Instead, constantly tell him how important he is to you and how much you love him.
And lastly (but perhaps most importantly) - you will have to become a professional in everything related to sex. After all, it was precisely this man who was looking for him on the side. And if you do not amaze your partner with your ingenuity, over time he will begin to run away from you.
Why does a married man need a mistress, what does a mistress mean to him, what does he expect from her?
The main reason why men have an affair is dissatisfaction with their sex life with their wife. It can be difficult for husbands to understand that they should not expect from a woman who spins like a squirrel in a wheel of initiative and the embodiment of a man’s desires. If a woman not only works at home, but also goes to work, then when she returns home after a day of work, picking up her children from kindergarten or school, washing the dishes, and feeding her family dinner, she dreams not of sex, but of sleep.
Active sex is incompatible with a woman's fatigue
A man, even if he went to work, but freed from household work, is full of energy and sexual desires. Many women may be surprised, but the vast majority of men, especially under 30, want sex every day or every other day. If such a schedule does not coincide with the schedule of his wife’s desires, he will look for satisfaction on the side.
As a result, by relieving a man of household work and burdening themselves, women themselves create the preconditions for their husband’s infidelity
Also, the reason that forces a man to look for a mistress may not be the quantity, but the quality of sex. Many married couples are embarrassed or afraid to discuss these topics with each other. And it’s difficult for them not only to express wishes about what they would like to get from sex, but it’s also difficult for them to talk about what they don’t like about sexual intimacy.
Spouses should be able to talk about sex with each other
What does a married man expect from his mistress?
When deciding to cheat, a man expects his mistress to satisfy his sexual needs. But having an affair involves not only sex, but also communication. If there are scandals and showdowns in the family, and the mistress knows how to listen and understand the man, then an affair on the side can lead to a divorce from his wife. Many single women, entering into a love affair with a married man, seek to divorce such a man from his wife. And to achieve this goal, they skillfully use the contrast that a man sees between his mistress and his wife.
The contrast between wife and mistress can cause divorce
How to break off a relationship with a married man you love?
If you are tired of the uncertainty of a relationship with a married man and decide to break off relations with him, do not give up and do not bring the situation to a state where your nerves cannot stand it and a loud scandal breaks out with breaking dishes and hysterics.
To begin with, imagine that you have achieved what you want - you married this man. Will you trust him? But answer this question honestly! Understand that having changed once, he will not stop before changing again. Now for you. And he will tell his new mistress the same thing that he “sang” to you, blaming himself for everything!
Such a man is not capable of resolving conflict situations that arise over time in any family - he follows the easy path, changing partners. Do you want someone who will run away as soon as trouble arises? If not, then break up with him. Keep meetings to a minimum, and then stop answering his calls altogether. However, sensing coldness on your part, this ladies' man will quickly disappear - after all, as you already know, he is not used to solving problems!
We hope that the psychologist’s advice given above will help you answer the question “how to end a relationship with a married man.” If you are waiting for real feelings, then it is important to understand how futile this relationship is and how humiliating the position of the mistress is. You deserve to be the object of true love, and not a toy in the hands of a man waiting only for pleasure. Don't waste time, look for your real half! Good luck!
Why is a married woman looking for a man for outside meetings?
According to psychologists, cheating on married women is never unreasonable. If a lady is looking for a lover, it means that something does not suit her in her own marriage. A tense family situation, a husband's rudeness, lack of attention - all these are provoking factors that can push one to cheat.
Married women most often maintain acquaintances with co-workers or friends. Among these people, a woman is looking for a lover or, most likely, everything happens by chance.
If the lover is legally married, meetings take place according to a strictly thought-out scenario. There is a complete lack of spontaneity in relationships. Both lovers, as a rule, do not want publicity and carefully hide their betrayal.
Love relationships add zest to the measured life of two unfree people. But can they have a sequel? How does an affair between a married mistress and a married man usually end?
What are the intentions of a male lover?
To understand what to expect from a secret relationship, you need to remember the initial reasons why a male lover was looking for a partner:
- The desire to diversify sex or simply make it accessible.
- A break from family life.
- The desire to simply have fun.
However, men can also look for ladies for a serious relationship, which they will then leave for if they have one. To understand how serious everything is, just pay attention to your lover’s behavior:
- If he becomes cold and distant after sex, he is not interested in you.
- If after meetings he always wants to go home, then he is not yet ready to part with his wife.
- If he only promises, but has not yet fulfilled anything he promised, it means that he is “fooling” your brains.
- If he always answers his wife's calls and runs when she calls, it means he will stay with her as soon as your relationship breaks up.
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Relationships between a married woman and a married man. Do they have a future?
No one is safe from love. Often an acquaintance with a married woman develops into a whirlwind romance that brings a whirlwind of emotions and a sea of feelings. The outcome in this case is quite obvious. But love does not invade life so often. According to statistics, only a few marry their lover. In other cases, dating for married people is just an outlet that allows you to temporarily forget about all the problems and plunge into a whirlwind of passions, after which the charge of optimism will last for some time. And what does such a relationship promise?
The wife's behavior changes dramatically after cheating. Everything that a woman lacks in the family, she more than makes up for on the side. If a woman is the mistress of a rich man, she tries to get more out of life not only emotionally, but also materially.
Unfortunately, as soon as the married mistress of a married man gets fed up with such a relationship or something stops suiting her, the lovers will separate without regret. After all, in essence, an open relationship without love promises absolutely nothing.
Relationships with a married man, with a married woman - chances and prospects
— What motivates a married man to look for mistresses?
— The general answer is immaturity, “non-adulthood.” Immaturity is a complex concept that includes many emotional and personality characteristics. In this case, I mean such an aspect as running away from problems or difficult experiences and the resulting reluctance to take responsibility for your life into your own hands.
But there are also special cases: it seems that “everything is fine” in the family, but the man still takes a mistress. For example, this may be the case with so-called “collectors” - who, due to some circumstances, got married, but have not yet collected a “collection”.
Sometimes a simple argument is “a man can do anything.” Such people, as a rule, are not burdened with loyalty to one constant mistress, and connections with them are fleeting - only sex, “nothing personal.” This is a case of not just immaturity, but also unformed moral values, and such a person, as a rule, does not cause any special feelings on either side when parting. He does not allow a close emotional connection, because his Don Juanism is an escape from a feeling of deep inferiority, from the feeling that, as such, he is nothing of himself and is not needed by anyone, and is not interesting to girls.
Now let's return to the situation: an ordinary young man, an ordinary girl, love each other, get married. No one suffers from feelings of inferiority, no one thinks that the marriage was a mistake, and suddenly surprise: he has a mistress! Why? To answer, you need to know that a family, like a person, goes through several stages of its development, or its life. I propose to consider several initial stages, from which it will be clear what attitude towards your spouse and what behavior leads to infidelity.
The period of premarital relations. Young people swear eternal love to each other and do not see any shortcomings of their partner. Because of this uncritical perception of another, some experts compare the state of falling in love with madness. There seems to be no betrayal here, but during this period the foundations for future problems are laid.
The first danger is that we are not aware of why we need a partner. If you want to start a family, that’s one question. What if in order to escape from problems in the parental family? In order to change your life no matter how? Then we create a solid foundation so that after falling in love there is emptiness. In this case, the value of the spouse is only in the fact that he got rid of current problems, but he is not expected to create new ones. And, accordingly, if problems appear (and they certainly appear), the value of the spouse is reduced to zero. And from this to betrayal there is only one step.
Another danger is sex before marriage. The danger here is that the uncriticality of the already uncritical state of falling in love increases. Despite the ease of attitude towards premarital sex in modern society, it still represents a certain barrier, the untimely passage of which lays the foundation for future complications in family life. For example, sex creates the impression that the partners have fully known each other. Indeed, in a naked person, it seems, there is nothing secret left. And if, before sexual relations, the future spouses have not gone through a sufficiently long period of getting to know each other, have not experienced a feeling of pleasant surprise at what unexpected personal qualities the partner possesses, then the desire to get to know each other is frozen. And the desire to know and understand your spouse, even if he hurts you, is one of the components of a strong family.
First year of marriage. During this period, rules of behavior in the family and rules of interaction with the outside world are established - parental families, husband's friends, wife's friends, neighbors, and so on. This period is full of conflicts. Here the rose-colored glasses come off, and the couple learns that their choice was not ideal. They begin to suffer from misunderstandings and frequent quarrels. The right way out lies again in knowing the other and striving to resolve the conflict taking into account the interests of everyone. On this basis, their own family structure is formed, strengthening the marriage union. And if - “a person should not suffer?” Then he must run away from marital conflicts and, accordingly, from their resolution. At this stage, most often this flight manifests itself in the breakdown of the family, in divorce, but betrayal is also possible, both on the part of both the husband and wife.
In any case, each of the spouses, both in the case of divorce and in the case of infidelity, will still have to go through this stage - with the same spouse or with a new one. Or he will end up alone.
Birth of the first child. This is exactly the situation in which, as a rule, men cheat or have mistresses. What's going on here? The fact is that even during pregnancy, a woman’s consciousness changes - she “tunes in” to the fact that for the next three years her main joy, main concern, and most importantly, her main interlocutor will be the child. She prepares herself for joyful and meaningful communication with a person who does not know how to speak, and who does not know how to do anything at all. Such a restructuring of the mother’s consciousness is necessary for the full development of the child.
What does this look like for a man, for a father? First, she became “stupid.” She is not interested in anything except how the child ate, how he pooped, what grimace he made, and so on. Secondly, she became cold and distant. All her joy, all her care, all her interests are a new man, and not her husband, although just recently everything was different. And yet - she has become very demanding, often uncritically demanding: we need this, we need that, and it is you who must do it, and whether you can or cannot - we don’t care, you are a father, so do it.
The husband suffers and sees no other way out than to hide from this suffering in the arms of his mistress, at least for a short time. Is there another way out? Eat. Firstly, you need to understand that this condition of the wife is not forever - it gradually goes away as the child grows more independent. Secondly, the wife should not forget that it is hard for her husband, that he is to some extent lonely now, and that he also needs affection (although he will never admit it). With mutual respect and viewing the problem as temporary (and it is, if you don’t run to your mistress for consolation), life gets better and the baby grows up in a strong, friendly family.
In general, we can say that the reasons for cheating on your spouse and living on two fronts are as follows.
First. Initially, the foundation of family life was laid incorrectly (forming a family in order to escape from parental influence, from any problems, or even from one’s own country, as well as too rapid initiation of sexual relations),
Second. Incorrect value attitude towards a spouse (he is valuable not as a separate, free and independent person, but as a means to achieve some goal),
Third. Lack of desire to know and understand your spouse, even if he hurts you (and no one can hurt you as much as the person closest to you),
Fourth. Ignorance of the basic laws of family life (one can, of course, argue that in the old days they didn’t know anything like that, but they didn’t get divorced, but then there was a strict ban on both adultery and divorce, but now there is no such social ban, and its place may be taken by namely, a well-founded understanding of what is good and what is bad, that is, knowledge),
And, in general, the attitude is that in modern society there is no need to make efforts to make things good, this very “good” should be by itself, right now, “a person should not suffer.”
— What motivates a woman to date a married man?
- Either the same immaturity, or the cynical position associated with immaturity: “take everything from life”, or “others can do it, but what about me?” Immaturity is the desire to “get” an already established, adult man without the need to grow up and become, go through crises together. As if this will save the girl from the need to wade through difficulties on her own to a decent life, because this “decent” life is given right away. It seems to them that little is needed to achieve their goal: to persuade him to get a divorce and marry her, young and beautiful.
It is with this position - “all inclusive” - that dreams of a “prince” are associated, whoever understands him. Isn’t it true that the “prince” has enough opportunities to solve any problems painlessly? He won't let me suffer, will he? (The fact that he is already making his wife suffer is not taken into account - it is her own fault that she is so old and harmful and does not want to understand him).
Many women reject any arguments on the grounds that “this is love,” it “came on its own,” this is a high feeling, and nothing can be done about it. To this we can only say that there is a confusion of love and infatuation here. Falling in love is a hormonally determined state that ensures procreation. In a man it goes away after the first sexual intercourse (okay, the second), and in a woman it goes away after childbirth. That is, when everyone does their job. In a situation with a married lover, children rarely appear, and therefore the state of love drags on, creating the appearance of love and raping the woman’s hormonal and nervous system. In principle, we cannot talk about love here, since love is the fruit of long-term joint work, mutual care for each other, forgiveness of each other, study of each other, patience with each other. To do this, we must at least live together.
The position “take everything from life” is somewhat different; it is not even covered with excuses about “sudden and strong love.” As a rule, this is a woman who has experienced one, or even several unsuccessful (due, among other things, to an unwillingness to face problems in family life) attempts to improve family life. Embittered, or desperate, or deciding that happy marital relationships are fairy tales for children and lies, such women begin to use men for mercantile purposes. In this case, the woman does not allow herself any deep attachments to this man, does not seek to marry him, regards the relationship with him as a business one and easily breaks up if he dries up or an object is found “for more profitable cooperation.”
— What are the prospects for this relationship for her?
— In general, I believe that relationships built on someone else’s misfortune have no prospects. Of course, they can object to me with the most common “logical” argument that, they say, I know such a family, she or he “took it off” from the previous spouse, and now they live happily. I readily believe, but, firstly, their life is not over yet, secondly, how do we know that in the previous family it would have been worse at the moment, thirdly, can outside observers, even friends, objectively evaluate everything? Is the family safe? And fourthly, this is simply my belief as a person that does not need proof. Although my belief is consistent with my professional experience. But let's figure it out.
As a result, a man, albeit under the influence of demands for a new wedding, rethinks his past family life, and in most cases changes his attitude towards his family, and makes a choice in which he is sure that he will not regret it, and in which his conscience “will remain clean” - that is, he will break off relations with his mistress and completely return to the family. There may even be complete reconciliation and the onset of a new “honeymoon.”
- Well, what if this happened, and the man left his family for his mistress, and decided to stay with her? This also happens.
“Here, to understand what is happening, we need to remember that they will have to go through all the stages of family development again. That is, a man must again plunge into all those problems from which he once ran away, and, again, either run away again, or solve them properly, go through crises correctly. The likelihood of this is low for two reasons: firstly, he has already been “trained” in a certain way of coping with problems (that is, running away from them). Secondly, every person has a conscience. And this conscience will tell him that he is a scoundrel because he abandoned his previous family. You can also escape from these unpleasant experiences - into vigorous activity, constant travel, or whatever. But again, what you are running away from will later catch up with you and make you sick. It will make you very sad.
What can you say about your new wife? She, too, will face a series of shocks. Firstly, she will also have to solve a number of problems and overcome a number of difficulties associated with building relationships. The shock is intensified by the fact that at the time of starting a family, she considered this relationship to be already fully built. Secondly, she will understand that the “prince” is not one. If he solves some problems (mainly financial ones), then he either does not see most of the problems (and does not want to see them) or creates them himself. Thirdly, she will gradually begin to notice that her husband is not the same person whom she “loved like no one before” when she was his mistress. This, it turns out, is some kind of rude, primitive, insensitive person who “is no longer interested in me, he is moving further and further away from me, he begins to constantly disappear somewhere... a scoundrel.” The result is the same - a feeling of a wrongly lived life, depression, disappointment in love, and so on.
I don’t want to offend anyone and will willingly agree with the person who says that I’m wrong and everything turned out great for him in just such a situation. I'm just talking about the most likely development of events.
— What would you advise a woman who is in such a relationship?
— What can you advise a person who is speeding downhill in a car whose brakes have failed? Stop the car? It would be ideal, but he can’t. The only thing that can be advised is to try to group yourself in order to endure the blow with minimal consequences. And then conclude: you can’t drive faulty cars.
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Clear tactics of behavior are the key to success
How to behave if he moves further away every day. It is important to remain calm and confident. Calling for no reason, stalking at work, hysterics, tears are not an option. A man loves to conquer, even after a long relationship.
We need to talk. Do not remain silent, hushing up the problem, but talk. Have a romantic evening. Don't blame him for being cold. A woman must become a listener. Talk little, don’t interrupt, let him speak to understand the problem. Accept any criticism from him towards you. If you close yourself off and don’t make contact, start talking about your experiences. In a quiet, calm tone, bring him into conversation.
Time to change. If you have found the source of misunderstanding, take the situation into your own hands.
Problem | Solution |
Offended | Ask for forgiveness |
Frequent quarrels | Restrain yourself |
Monotonous intimate life | Experiment |
Relationships are no longer a holiday | Revive your emotions with new experiences |
You demand the impossible | Eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary |
Become a true friend and advisor. Support him in difficult times, try to encourage him with advice and help. Men love comfort, unobtrusive connection, he will happily return to where he felt calm and did not fray his nerves. Show concern if he is sick. When he has problems again, he will certainly remember you and want to come back.
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That we are monogamous, our Family Code said))))
Betrayal is always meanness, and if you are polygamous, don’t get married, play white all your life, prance around free, and that’s it.
Not all relationships come down to “such a primitive thing” (By the way, I don’t see anything primitive in decency and loyalty; rather, those who go where their eggs lead are primitive). But family and marriage relationships should be just like that - serious and responsible.
Love is a rather rare occurrence, especially when it is mutual. And the whole point is that leaving families most often has nothing to do with LOVE. Text hidden expand
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Why is there a third wheel?
A person is always looking for a place where he will be as comfortable and pleasant as possible. Thus, he finds a job, a loved one, friends and vacation spots where and with whom he is most comfortable. However, very rarely does a person limit himself to one loved one or one friend, since it is like an entertainment establishment: in one you can relax peacefully, and in the other you can gain new ideas and thoughts. That is why a third wheel appears - one who compensates for what a person cannot get from his partner.
All people are egoists. There is practically no one who is completely devoid of this quality. And it is precisely human egoism that people - participants in the process of betrayal - play on when they try to fill the gaps in their lives, as well as get a new partner for love. So, men really like it when a woman does what they want. A mistress can very easily take a man away from her wife: she just needs to make her bad, and herself the most understanding and ready for sex and caring for a man. Why does this work? Because married women very often forget about their sexuality, since they do not consider it necessary to support it after they have married men, and they also get caught up in caring for children and being busy at work. From such a “cold”, a man seeks warmth where it can be given to him - and here a mistress appears, ready for anything. She is sexy and ready to fully devote her time to a man.
Being the most comfortable and attractive for your partner is the main trump card that men fall for. And here the question arises: whose fault is that there is a third wheel in the relationship? One half of the people will answer that the traitor himself is to blame for this state of affairs, the other half - that his partner pushed the person to cheat. But tell me, please, how can you force another person to cheat if he doesn’t want it? If a man or woman did not want to cheat, then they would most likely simply separate to find new partners for love. But those same people who are more selfish by nature choose the easiest way to satisfy their desires - secret betrayal. It turns out that betrayal is a consequence of the selfishness of the cheater himself, who puts the satisfaction of his desires above the good of his relationship and the love of his partner. Another person cannot force anyone to cheat on himself. It turns out that betrayal becomes the sole decision of the cheater himself.
Don't forget that all people are selfish. It’s just that everyone’s selfishness is different. Some agree to cheat in order to satisfy their ego, while others try to be honest with their partner, including themselves, destroy relationships and look for that person next to whom they will be comfortable in all plans.
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