Write a list of your 10 best qualities and rank them.
This should be a list of characteristics that you think you have that are very important to you. Put first the quality that you consider the most important and necessary. Then write why next to it.
Once your list is ready, highlight the two most important items and answer the following questions:
- How do your best qualities influence your life?
- How do your best qualities affect your self-esteem?
According to the study, people who completed this practice gained self-confidence over the next two months.
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Why am I like this
But these feelings did not come out of nowhere; they have their own reasons. The most common ones are associated with the closest people - parents, who, as always, act with the best intentions.
How many times have we ourselves heard from them: “Look at the other kids, how clean they are, but you are dirty!” or “Look how Dima runs fast, and you’re trailing behind!” Such comparisons with other children that are not in our favor lower our self-esteem from childhood.
The child grows up, but the comparisons continue: “If only someone would marry you, all your girlfriends have been married for a long time,” “The neighbor’s son bought an apartment, and you’re still sitting on our neck.” It is not surprising that such a person will then be pushed around by his husband or wife and everyone who is too lazy.
“Good” friends or girlfriends often add fuel to the fire: “You’re a weakling!” or “My boyfriend said that you are so ugly and that I shouldn’t bring you to the company anymore.”
Another reason is depreciation . Moreover, parents themselves do not notice how they underestimate the child’s self-esteem. For example, he drew a picture and brought it to show mom and dad, expecting praise. But instead he hears: “What did you draw? It turned out ugly!” or “Leave me behind, I don’t have time now!” He undertook to build a toy castle, but they told him: “If you build it wrong, you won’t succeed.”
Overprotection or hypoprotection is also a cause of low self-esteem. With overprotection, the parents' attention is constantly focused on the child. They don’t let him take a single step, so as not to lay down straws, completely depriving him of his independence. Trying to do what is expected of him, he loses his own individuality. Often such a child is loaded with sports, music, and foreign languages, so that he is not “like everyone else,” but more intelligent and developed. But he is not able to cope with all this, although he tries to live up to expectations. The child worries, he develops a feeling of inferiority and low self-esteem.
Self-esteem also decreases with hypoprotection, when parents are busy with themselves, and the baby is left to his own devices. He tries to get their attention, but in vain. It seems to him that he is not loved, that no one needs him. And again - a feeling of inferiority, one’s own guilt for the fact that he is so bad and there is nothing to love him for, and low self-esteem.
Many then throughout their lives have to break the existing negative belief about themselves, fight with themselves and prove that “I have the right.” And even if this succeeds, any unfavorable life situation can knock you out of balance—dismissal, divorce, betrayal, someone’s criticism. A person begins to believe again that he is nothing.
It is easier for someone who did not have such problems in childhood to cope with troubles.
Repeat the name of your interlocutor several times
In a conversation, do not be afraid to repeat the name of your interlocutor. If you just met a new person a few minutes ago and are in the mood for communication and further cooperation with him, do exactly that during the conversation. This will make it much easier for you to remember your new name, and you are less likely to forget it.
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Exercise for at least 10 minutes every day
Exercising gives you greater self-confidence and even stimulates your brain activity. Exercise is beneficial because it gives a person more energy, fills the body with endorphins and improves self-esteem.
The more intense your training, the better for you, because this is the only way to achieve a higher level of self-esteem.
Although the list of exercises goes on, the practice you learned about in this article will prove more than useful. Keep practicing the exercises mentioned and you will immediately notice positive results. Of course, this needs to be done more than once, but practiced constantly in order to learn how to combine several methods and use them skillfully.
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Suppress emotions during public speech or conversation
Remember one thing: during public speaking, people can not only see, but also hear if you speak with emotion.
Try to control three emotions: interest, laughter and excitement.
Add a little intrigue to your speech and it will be easier for you to control these three emotions. Pause as you speak, watch your tone, and paint a picture for your listeners. And only then will your speech be more memorable and will encourage listeners to remember information better.
Create an alter ego for yourself
Invent yourself some kind of superhero. Although it sounds a little childish, no one will ever hear or know about the alter ego you created for yourself.
According to sociologists, the idea of an imaginary superhero only increases your self-esteem by encouraging confidence and the ability to face fear.
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Gain respect by imitating body movements
By imitating the body movements and speech of someone you admire, you are more likely to gain interest and respect.
This does not mean that you should copy him one after another, for example, if he shows excitement, do not repeat that emotion. If he speaks clearly and enthusiastically, do the same.
Don't try to talk to someone you highly respect by showing a bad attitude or lack of excitement. This only invalidates what they are telling you and makes them lose interest in the conversation.
How low self-esteem manifests itself
Psychologists talk about the destructive and constructive manifestations of low self-esteem.
With destructive behavior , a person ignores his capabilities and follows his fears. He does not think about career growth, is content with what he has, avoids new acquaintances and companies for fear of making a mistake, not meeting the expectations of others, or seeming funny and stupid.
The destructive behavior of people with low self-esteem also manifests itself in their desire to insult and humiliate others in order to rise in their own eyes. There are especially many of them on social networks, where they write angry comments under posts and videos of people who are liked and popular.
What is constructive manifestation of low self-esteem? Once upon a time, the Austrian psychoanalyst Alfred Adler first introduced the concept of an inferiority complex inherent in people with low self-esteem, which is generally a negative phenomenon. But the same inferiority complex serves as a motivator for some people and allows them to achieve positive goals. “To be a full-fledged person, you need to have an inferiority complex,” this was the conclusion made by A. Alfred, believing that in this case the hypercompensatory function of the personality is activated.
For example, the ancient Greek orator Demosthenes stuttered severely as a child, which prompted him to study oratory and achieve perfection in it.
Marilyn Monroe also suffered from an inferiority complex, seeing herself as an ugly loser. “I will not allow myself not to be loved,” she left such a note in her diary and throughout her short life she tried to achieve this goal.
The French emperor Napoleon Bonaparte was not as small as is often written, but he suffered from other complexes: as a child, while studying at a military school in Paris, he was teased for his Corsican origin and poverty. He was alone against everyone and wanted to prove that he was not only no worse, but better than the rest. Subsequently, Napoleon recalled that the thought that he was not the first student in the class was unbearable for him. Struggling with his complexes, he did everything to make his name known throughout the world.
