Likes as a factor of self-esteem. How social networks affect individuals and society

Formation of personal self-esteem

The structure of self-esteem formation can be considered as a component of personal development, which includes two components: cognitive and emotional, working in inextricable unity.
The cognitive component reflects the individual’s knowledge about himself to varying degrees of generalization and expression, the emotional component is the attitude towards himself, the so-called accumulating “attitude towards himself.” After all, an individual acquires any knowledge about his own personality only in a social context. Then this knowledge inevitably becomes overgrown with emotions. The formation of a person’s self-esteem occurs under the influence of several interrelated factors, which include communication interaction with the surrounding society, the active activity of the individual, self-observation and self-control. A person, carrying out any form of activity, invariably finds himself in situations in which he is forced to develop his attitude to actions and deeds, behavior in general, evaluate his own skills and abilities to produce something, and demonstrate various aspects of his personality.

There is no specific type of activity that will have a greater or lesser impact on the formation of positive self-esteem. However, we can still conclude that a significant impact on the development of self-esteem (adequate or inadequate) is exerted by activities that become leading at a specific stage of an individual’s life. For example, the conditions for developing self-esteem in children or adolescents lie in educational activities and everything that is interconnected with it. For older individuals, work activity often becomes the main condition for developing adequate self-esteem. However, at the same time, for all individuals the role of a single condition is purely individual. Since professional activities or studies do not always bring satisfaction, they can often even act as a source of stress, negative experiences and uncertainty. Therefore, in order to assert oneself and increase self-confidence, in addition to educational or work activities, there are many other activities, such as hobbies.

An important characteristic of a mature personality is the emergence of differentiated self-esteem. This means that an individual is able to reasonably assess his own potential depending on the field of activity, he can sensibly accept both his strong and weak traits, and is not upset when something is discovered beyond the boundaries of his understanding

The formation of self-esteem plays a vital role in the development of personality. It determines the development of the level of aspirations of the individual, the level of confidence and uncertainty, which affects the success of the individual in life and the self-sufficiency of the individual as a whole. Therefore, the role of self-esteem in the formation of personality is quite difficult to overestimate.

Some tips on how to increase self-esteem

Instantly improving low self-esteem, which has been developing throughout your life, is not easy, but possible. Changing self-esteem takes time and persistence. But don't give up! You deserve to accept yourself, to feel comfortable. No one should be held back from reaching their full potential. To do this, use the advice of experts:

Use positive statements (affirmations)

Positive statements can help improve self-esteem because they gradually become true for you. Describe how you want to feel all the time: I am happy, self-sufficient, harmonious, healthy. Say it out loud and often.

Perfectionism is no good

Nobody is perfect. Although it sounds strange, perfection cannot take you to where you really want to be. Accept your flaws. Stop being dissatisfied with your achievements and results. Instead of perfect, choose good enough. Allow yourself to make mistakes, to fail. Sometimes you can learn more from failure than from success. Be proud of even your smallest achievements.

Recognize your strengths

No one is good at everything, and we are all good at something (math, drawing, cross stitch). Identify your strengths and focus on developing them. Then you will demonstrate to yourself real abilities and achievements. And because we enjoy doing what we're good at, you'll feel happier.

Set yourself a challenge

Don't let the fear of failure stop you from trying new things. Step outside your comfort zone. Set small goals for yourself, such as eating more vegetables, walking more, starting to learn English. Achieving them will help you feel better about yourself and motivate you to set even more goals.

Connect with people who love you

Spending time with people who treat you badly can have a huge impact on your self-confidence. Spend more time with people who love and appreciate you because they can help you challenge negative thinking. Ask them what they like about you, what you did right. This is necessary in order to form a different, more positive image of yourself. Also, be willing to meet new people to make new friends, even if it means trying new hobbies and stepping outside of your comfort zone.

Be more compassionate with yourself

When disappointment and embarrassment overwhelm you because you weren't able to achieve your goal, don't be too hard on yourself. Imagine a friend is in your situation, what advice would you give them? We often give much better advice to others than we give ourselves. Direct these thoughts towards yourself, change the critical thoughts with self-compassion.

Remember that your self-esteem is not constant, it directly depends on your thinking, actions, and environment. So keep working so you can develop and maintain the healthy self-confidence you strive for.

Types of personality self-esteem in psychology

In psychology, there are three types of self-esteem. The classification is based on the degree to which a person’s self-importance corresponds to objective data. The more realistically a person evaluates himself, the more successful his relationships with people are and the higher his success in all areas of life.

Adequate self-esteem

With this type of self-perception, a person’s assessment coincides with reality. A person soberly realizes his strengths and weaknesses, knows his capabilities and needs, and determines his inner potential.

Such a person is capable of self-criticism and working on mistakes. Weaknesses are eliminated and strong characteristics are cultivated.

Inadequate self-esteem

Distorted self-esteem suggests that a person’s opinion of himself is far from objective. Radical self-perception can be overestimated or underestimated when a person either does not accept himself at all or believes that he has qualities that are not actually inherent in him. Inadequate self-esteem interferes with communication and professional achievement.

Mixed self-esteem

In this case, a person treats himself differently at different periods of his life, sometimes he shows more confidence, sometimes he becomes weak and complex.

We can also talk about a mixed view if we really look at ourselves in terms of some qualities, but inadequately in terms of other characteristics. For example, we confidently achieve success in our profession, but in our personal lives we consider ourselves unworthy of a suitable partner.

How does self-esteem affect family relationships?

Family is a circle of closest people who directly build confidence and self-respect. This is especially important to remember when raising children. It is necessary to help them form adequate self-confidence from an early age through reasonable praise, polite treatment, attention, and care.

How does each type of self-esteem affect relationships with family:

• Understated. It affects not only the perception of the spouse, but also increases anxiety and concern about the relationship in general. Such people are jealous, distrustful, they are more prone to mood swings, since they often adapt to the influence of others. This negatively affects family relationships. It is sometimes difficult for your other half to understand why you are unhappy. Indeed, an insecure person often does not understand his own needs, the reasons for his bad mood, what can we say about your spouse?
• Overpriced. People with such self-esteem are not able to listen to others, withstand even constructive criticism, understand, and correct their own mistakes. In a relationship, it is very important to listen and hear each other. People cannot be perfect; a family is built on understanding, acceptance, and trust in each other. A self-confident person is not able to build healthy relationships, because he loves, cares and hears only himself, and looks at his partner as a competitor.
• Adequate. She is healthy, sometimes she is called tall. The only type of self-esteem that is normal. Such people know how to accept and value themselves and other people as they are. They do not put themselves above others, do not compare, and do not strive to prove their own importance. But, at the same time, they know their needs, know how to build personal boundaries and build harmonious relationships.

Formation of adequate self-esteem

Self-esteem is one of the most essential conditions determining the transformation of a small individual into a personality. It develops in subjects the need to comply not only with the surrounding individuals and environment, but also with the level of their own personal assessments. Correctly developed adequate self-esteem is not just knowledge of one’s own personality and not the sum of some traits, but a certain attitude towards one’s own personality. It determines the comprehension of personality as a separate stable object.

M. Fennel presented self-esteem as the central link of voluntary self-regulation. In her opinion, it determines the direction and level of activity of the individual, his position in relation to the environment, society, and his own person, and is a mechanism of the most complex psychological nature. It is involved in a mass of interconnections and relationships with the formations of the individual’s psyche and represents an important determinant of all forms of its activity and communication interaction. The initial abilities to evaluate one’s own personality are laid in early childhood, and their formation and improvement occurs throughout the entire life course of the individual.

R. Nemov believed that self-esteem allows an individual to maintain stability regardless of the variability of situations, while providing the individual with the opportunity to remain himself.

The formation of adequate self-esteem of a person is extremely important for interpersonal interactions, establishing relationships with society, for successful communication, and success in a certain type of activity.

And special attention should be paid to the formation of a child’s self-esteem, since all the formations of his personality are just beginning to form, then self-esteem is much easier to influence and change. After all, a baby does not come into the world with a pre-determined attitude towards his own personality and potential.

Just like all other personality traits, his self-esteem develops in the course of upbringing, mastery of activities and interpersonal interaction.

As children grow older, they learn to understand themselves and their own “I”, and evaluate their own qualities. It is this evaluative component of the “I” that is called self-esteem. It represents the core of self-awareness, and the degree of the individual’s claims interconnected with it. The degree of aspiration is understood as the level of difficulty of the goals set by the child for himself.

Self-esteem and the level of a child’s aspirations have a huge impact on emotional well-being, his development, and success in various areas of activity. Nowadays, the impact of a child’s self-esteem on his actions, behavior, actions and interpersonal contacts is becoming increasingly undeniable.

The formation of positive self-esteem in children is primarily influenced by family upbringing and the pedagogical influence of teachers.

It is probably very difficult to overestimate the impact of family upbringing on children's self-esteem. The level of self-esteem depends on the parents - whether it will be adequate or not. For adequate children's self-esteem, constant support from significant adults, the manifestation of sincere care for children and frequent positive assessment of their actions, behavior and deeds are very important. Children should never be humiliated. If a child makes a mistake or does something wrong, you need to explain to him what is wrong and show him how to do it. Try to evaluate his behavior, not his personality characteristics. Don't be afraid to praise your child. You just need to praise correctly - not for the qualities given to him by nature, but for his achievements, victories, no matter how small.

Teachers play an equally important role in developing children’s self-esteem. After all, school-age children spend a significant part of their time within the walls of schools. And educational activity is the main one at this stage of development. Therefore, it is believed that the most important factor determining the adequate formation of a child’s self-esteem is the assessment of teachers. Giving an assessment of the children’s knowledge and skills, the teacher simultaneously assesses their personalities, their potential, abilities and place among others. This is how children perceive teachers’ assessments.

Why is this so important?

The most popular mistake of active users of social networks is to believe that a like shows an attitude towards a person, and not towards a photo or post. In fact, people evaluate the content of the post, the photograph. This is an assessment of a specific product of activity, but not of the person himself. However, the user believes that he is being evaluated as a whole. Hence the powerful influence of likes.

Like is:

• praise;
• OK;
• a sign of respect from which self-respect flows;
• psychological "stroking".

Like is a virtual analogue of satisfying the need for evaluation. The need for evaluation is inherent in every person. Self-esteem is formed based on the assessment of people around you. Likes are especially important for teenagers, because it is their way of self-discovery. Through assessing others, they conclude what they should be like, how the world is ready to see them, how they accept and do not accept them. Among adults, the same approach is characteristic of immature individuals.

The need for recognition, love, belonging is the highest level of needs. They are common to all people. If life lacks support, self-confidence, and real communication, then they are replaced by life on a social network. There people assert themselves, look for friends, loved ones and even acquire fans. This in itself is not bad, but it becomes dangerous if likes are the only psychological nourishment, and the virtual world has replaced the real one.

Ways to correct self-esteem

It is imperative to increase self-esteem. It's never too late to learn to love yourself and accept yourself with all your shortcomings. This is a characteristic that can be easily corrected with diligent, targeted practice.

1. It is advisable to engage in self-development, gain new knowledge, skills and impressions

   . The more the intellect is pumped up and the horizons are broader, the more self-confident a person is. In addition, he becomes an interesting conversationalist and people notice this, are drawn to him, and begin to compliment him.

2. By the way, about compliments

   . Learn to receive them with the air of an English queen. There is no need to justify yourself with the phrase “You look so good!”, It’s better to answer: “It is what it is!”

3. You should never overuse excuses

   . A person with good self-esteem is confident in himself, so he is responsible for all his actions and has no need to apologize.

4. Learn to create a good mood for yourself, smile and praise yourself for any reason.

   . Got up from the couch to wash the floor? “What a great fellow I am!” But if you don’t get up, then you don’t need to scold yourself. Say: “Let my gorgeous legs rest a little.”

5. Forgive yourself for mistakes, everyone makes them

   . You need to get rid of the feeling of guilt; it is aggression directed against yourself.

As you work to improve your self-image, remove yourself from toxic people who criticize and devalue and let them pour their venom elsewhere. When you love yourself, their opinion will become indifferent to you, or you will be able to respond adequately.

Reasons for being passionate about networks

The user who actively participates in virtual reality constantly patrols the pages of other people, willingly or unwillingly comparing his life with someone else’s. This comparison results in a decrease in self-esteem. Anyone who is engaged in self-development, work, his life, does not crawl through the pages of strangers. He sometimes comes across posts from friends and then goes on to do things. Moreover, there is no talk of any comparison, envy, or disappointment. He simply has no time. He asserts himself in real life.

Reasons for being passionate about networks:

1. People who initially come to social networks are unsure of themselves. Sometimes likes help them restore their self-esteem, and sometimes they lower them even more. I’m talking now about active network users who post absolutely every step they take.
2. Of course, not all individuals suffer from lack of attention. Some people are simply inclined to be demonstrative and public. They will always get little attention. Likes are especially important to them.
3. On the other hand, social networks are a great way to express yourself as an individual. The main thing is that behind the message “look, I am” there is really something valuable, meaningful, and interesting hidden.
4. Chasing likes reminds me of the school race of children from wealthy and middle- or low-income families. They boast about clothes, expensive phones, and use the same principle to divide people into good and bad.
5. Social networks have reached a new level and now support aspiring authors and businessmen. In this context, likes have become a real way to attract customers. The more a post gains user “pluses”, the higher the audience coverage and the influx of interested parties. This is relevant for creative people and entrepreneurs, but not for an ordinary boy or girl talking about their life. Although similar blogs are popular. It all depends on the presentation and design.

Thus, if likes are perceived as a way of personal growth, and not an indicator of wealth, then such interest does not cause harm. However, on the other hand, for an artist, likes are feedback from clients. This is an indicator of the relevance of labor, demand, and an assessment of performance results. How job evaluation likes can affect self-esteem.

Level of self-esteem

The level of self-esteem depends on the degree to which a person loves himself and compares with other people.

Understated

A person with low self-esteem treats himself without much warmth; he is not satisfied with the way his life is shaping up.

In external manifestations such an individual is expressed:

• frequent self-criticism;
• regularly occurring feelings of guilt;
• desire to please other people;
• fear of doing something wrong.

At the same time, a person’s objective data is good, there is potential, but due to the fear of making a mistake, they are often not realized.

Low

The most undesirable level of self-assessment, which does not allow you to build successful relationships and achieve results.

A person with low self-esteem is identified by the following symptoms:

• apologies are appropriate and inappropriate;
• neurotic feeling of guilt;
• constant justifications for one’s words and actions;
• lack of initiative due to complete lack of self-confidence.

With low self-esteem, an “imposter complex” is always present. If a person has achieved success, done something well, he will say that this is an accident and he has no merit in it.

His speech is replete with phrases such as: “I’m not sure,” “I can’t, I won’t succeed.” By the way, perfectionism is a manifestation of low and low self-esteem. Everyone knows examples when girls, seemingly with an ideal appearance, which many can only dream of, torture themselves with diets, go under the knife of plastic surgeons and develop severe pathologies.

Normal

Having normal self-esteem is a great success for a person! People are fully aware of their pros and cons, take their virtues and sins for granted, and try to correct the latter. A person respects and loves himself.

In external manifestations, such self-perception is expressed as follows:

• ability to make decisions and take responsibility for them;
• calm expression of one's opinion;
• stress resistance;
• adequate perception of criticism from the outside;
• realistic expectations.

A person who evaluates himself normally lives easily, calmly, harmoniously, she has many friends, and has all the opportunities for a successful personal life. The likelihood of mental and psychosomatic illnesses is low. A person does not gnaw at himself with a feeling of guilt; he realizes mistakes, corrects them and moves on.

High, overpriced

The essence of high and inflated self-esteem is the same - a distorted idea of ​​oneself in the direction of praising advantages and ignoring shortcomings. An inflated self-perception is better for a person than an underestimated one, because it allows one to move forward. But such people have few close friends; they are often left alone.

Characteristics of a person with high self-esteem:

• narcissism, narcissism;
• intolerance of any criticism;
• unshakable confidence in one’s rightness;
• blaming the failures of others;
• lack of habit of asking for forgiveness, even if it is to blame;
• constant competition with colleagues and friends;
• lack of desire and skills to listen to the opponent.

Such a person is not interested in people, in principle. He often boasts, talks about his successes, and considers himself underestimated. The individual believes that the whole world should revolve around him; he does not ask, but orders.

For career and personal goals

In this area, it is also possible to trace the connection between self-esteem and the behavior of people with different types of self-esteem on their performance and ability to achieve goals.

• Understated. Underestimation of one's capabilities, lack of initiative, lack of goals - these are all characteristics of an employee who lacks self-confidence. You may have to change jobs frequently because employers have little use for you.
• Overpriced. Such workers are also not of much use. They tend to exaggerate their capabilities and take on too much. They also don’t know how to take criticism or work on mistakes. A few of these unfulfilled tasks, and you can go looking for another job.
• Healthy. As in other aspects of life, in work it is also better to deal with people who are able to adequately assess tasks, learn, analyze their behavior and mistakes. This can be done only by people with adequate self-esteem, who are sufficiently confident in their abilities and knowledge.

Formation of self-esteem of a junior schoolchild

The formation of self-esteem is closely interconnected with the active activity of children, with self-control and self-observation

Various activities, games, communication invariably draw their attention to themselves, put them in circumstances in which they must somehow relate to themselves and evaluate their own abilities, the ability to produce something, obey certain requirements and norms, and demonstrate individual personality traits

Self-esteem is an important and necessary component of the formation of self-awareness, i.e. a person’s comprehension of himself, individual physical strength, intellectual abilities, actions, deeds, motivations and goals of behavior, attitude towards the surrounding society, towards other individuals and himself.

The level of aspirations of children and self-esteem have a huge impact on success in certain types of activities.

Throughout the school year, the self-esteem of a junior schoolchild is formed. A separate situational self-esteem, not associated with a meaningful idea of ​​one’s own personality, appears much earlier than the personal “I-concept”. However, self-esteem becomes more constant and independent of situations only if it is interconnected with the “I-concept,” and meaningful differences between them are not revealed. In the first year of study, the image of one’s “I” increases several times.

For educational activities, a junior schoolchild really needs the ability to competently set goals, manage his behavior, and control himself. And for this you need knowledge about yourself, your potential. The process of developing self-control depends on the degree of formation of self-esteem. Schoolchildren are able to exercise self-control only with the help and guidance of adults or with the participation of peers. Primary school children's ideas about themselves are the basis of self-esteem. Children's self-awareness is realized in educational activities.

Children evaluate themselves during educational activities in two ways. The first is to compare the degree of personal aspirations with the objective consequences of personal activity. The second is in comparing one’s own personality with other individuals. And the higher the degree of claims, the harder it will be to satisfy them. Successes and failures in a certain type of activity significantly affect a person’s assessment of his own skills and abilities in this activity. So, for example, failures generally lower aspirations, while successes, on the contrary, increase them

Comparison is also important. After all, when evaluating himself, the child, voluntarily or involuntarily, tries to compare himself with other children, while he takes into account not only his own successes, but also the entire current social situation

Social media influence

Social networks are the most accessible way to compete. Likes are a criterion of popularity. You can go to your competitor’s page (though he doesn’t always know about this race) and compare his number of positive ratings with yours. And here everything is obvious.

People perceive social media content differently. Self-esteem is influenced only by what is valuable to a particular individual. For example, the self-esteem of a girl who dreams of getting married will suffer when the girl sees photos from her friends’ wedding. And the more friends get married, the more the girl’s self-esteem will suffer.

What else do social networks show:

• success;
• wealth;
• health;
• happiness in personal life;
• interesting leisure;
• useful contacts;
• prestigious education.

In addition, the above-mentioned perception of a like as an assessment of the whole person also affects. Seeing other users have more positive ratings and comments, a person considers himself worse than him, less attractive.

What is self-esteem

Self-esteem

- this is a person’s level of understanding of himself, his positive and negative qualities, assessment of his personality, part of the self-concept.

Self-perception is inextricably linked to the degree of self-love. The more a person loves himself, the more adequate and higher his self-esteem.

Personal self-esteem is a very significant indicator and influences how a person’s life will turn out. Confidence in your merits, faith in your own strengths allows you to achieve success. On the contrary, humiliation, feelings of guilt and shame, and unjustified shyness prevent internal needs from manifesting and being realized. Basic self-esteem is formed in childhood, but this is a category that can change over time and is subject to correction.

Dependence on public opinion

Try to answer the following question as honestly as possible: “Does it matter to you what others think of you?” If yes, then you can say with a high degree of confidence that you are dependent on public opinion. And in most cases, this “disease” develops due to social networks. Everything would be fine, but sooner or later it will lead to a decrease in self-esteem as soon as the people around you tell you that you are imperfect.

What causes addiction to develop? This is due to banal likes, reposts and comments, which are the basis of any social network. Initially, a person shares this or that information on his page simply to tell others about it. However, over time, his entries begin to be commented on and evaluated. After this, the person begins to post photos and videos only to find out public opinion.

Self-Esteem Functions

The description and content of the functions of personality self-esteem, as a basic concept in psychology, are given in the table.

Levels of personality self-esteem

In addition to the periods of formation of personal self-esteem, there are levels in psychology. There are three of them:

Low – this level is considered a problem in psychology. It is formed under the influence of parents in childhood. Such people are characterized by indecision, dependence on the opinions of other people, a desire to avoid responsibility and shift it onto the shoulders of others, excessive demands, and envy.

This is “distorted” egoism - the individual is so immersed in his own failures that he does not notice what is happening around him and does not pay attention to the problems of his loved ones. Average or "normal". This level is found in those who are self-confident and are aware and adequately evaluate their negative and positive qualities.

People with a similar “mindset” are proactive and adapt well to any conditions established by society. Tall is characteristic of the successful and influential. If an individual has significant achievements in any area, then with a high probability a similar mechanism is triggered. However, there are many cases of unreasonably high assessment of one’s actions and achievements, when self-esteem is much “more extensive” than the quantity and quality of real actions.

In addition to levels, psychology distinguishes types of assessment - adequate and inadequate. The first correctly interprets the actions and characteristics of the individual. A person is able to really look at himself from the outside and set achievable goals. In the case of an inadequate appearance, the individual forms an incorrect idea of ​​himself - he either underestimates or overestimates the existing “level”. Correction of such deviations is impossible without the use of special tests and techniques. They will help determine what the real picture is and whether it is worth working with a psychologist.

10 Seemingly Common Behaviors That Reveal Low Self-Esteem

Our opinion of ourselves changes depending on age, experience and events. It reaches its highest ratings closer to old age. In general, 85% of people suffer from a tendency to self-flagellation to one degree or another.

Bright Side

has prepared a list of non-obvious symptoms that, when combined with obvious signs, may indicate low self-esteem.

Not all people love attention; some deliberately avoid it. People with low self-esteem believe that they do not deserve to be seen. When attending concerts, lectures and other public events, those who beat themselves up are more likely to take a place in the last rows; they will often be afraid to express their opinion about what is happening.

They generally find it unpleasant to express their views. The need to defend one's position in a dispute almost causes panic. After all, opponents can smash insufficiently compelling arguments to smithereens. Hence the desire to avoid conflicts, discussions and even the exchange of impressions by hook or by crook.

Compulsive shopaholism is one of the manifestations of self-dislike, which often begins in early childhood.

The lack of parental love and care, the feeling of loneliness and neglect from others give rise to an internal emptiness and the desire to fill it with something. One way is shopping.

Income level is not important: some shopaholics manage to find more than budget options.

© Depositphotos, © Depositphotos

Appearing in the office, guests, theater or at a friendly party implies accuracy and some kind of work on your appearance. If a person makes a mess and carefully selects clothes in order to get to the nearest store or trash heap, this may indicate a desire to hide shortcomings.

Such a person is not confident in himself and is afraid to appear real. By the way, presenting himself on social networks is also difficult for him. You probably won’t find his photo on the avatar, and the questionnaire will contain a minimum of information. Last name and first name can also be fake.

Companions of low self-esteem are uncertainty and pessimism. This is also manifested in speech: “maybe”, “hardly”, “I can’t”, “I’m just lucky” - these are typical phrases from the vocabulary. It is important that these phrases appear regularly, and do not slip through once every five years.

If a narcissistic character takes credit for the team's achievements, then a person who likes to sprinkle ashes on his head will present the situation differently. It was as if he accidentally found himself among all these wonderful and talented people. Obviously, in reality this will turn out to be just a figment of his imagination.

© Depositphotos, © Depositphotos

Today I took up knitting, a month later I switched to photography, then to football, etc. This way a person will try almost all types of hobbies.

But not because they all captivate him, but because he is not ready to overcome difficulties and failures.

Perhaps the self-flagellation guru has already encountered his first difficulties: the newly minted chef’s salad turned out to be too salty, and the first cakes looked more like coals.

A couple of negative comments on social networks can also discourage the desire to move on: the aspiring poet was pointed out to the banal rhymes, and he decided to give up his pen. The unfortunate creator does not realize that no one can do without failures at the initial stage. He experiences anxiety, labels himself a loser, and is looking for a job in which everything will go swimmingly.

The internal feeling of inferiority is revealed by how often a person is “stuck” on the phone while in a cafe, cinema, club and other public places. It’s one thing to answer an urgent call or message, another thing to go on social networks as soon as your counterpart has gone to the restroom.

The reason does not always lie in boredom: a person with complexes wants to seem needed and busy. He thinks he will look stupid just looking at the scenery outside the window or enjoying the background music. In other words, it will discredit him in the eyes of strangers, whose opinion he will never know.

No one likes feeling worse than others, even those whose self-esteem leaves much to be desired. This causes an internal protest, forces you to compare yourself with others and seek support and approval in roundabout ways.

Sometimes such a person is not averse to asserting himself at the expense of others whose performance is obviously worse than his own (for example, a less experienced colleague). Or bring a competitive spirit where there shouldn’t be any, for example, in preparing barbecue at a picnic or in the speed of lulling a child to sleep. Our hero takes this not as a joke, but in all seriousness.

This also includes the constant desire to remove invisible hair, fiddling with fingers, etc. All these are manifestations of compulsive self-harm or obsessive-compulsive neurosis. It is also observed among self-deprecating people.

In advanced cases, a person can cause significant damage to himself.

Have you noticed this feature in yourself or one of your loved ones or friends? It probably makes sense to contact a specialist to determine the cause or find a way to combat the problem.

There are situations when we really need more time to recover: illness, jet lag, long hours of travel, stressful situations and more. But if an adult consistently sleeps longer than during childhood and school years, there may be reason to be wary.

Sleep disorders (both insomnia and prolonged sleep) are a classic sign of depression. This, in turn, may be associated with self-dislike. Too much sleep is associated with a lack of motivation for any activity or a bad mood. The condition, of course, needs to be assessed comprehensively, taking into account other factors.

A person with low self-esteem tends to change his mind and is unsure of his choices and preferences. This can manifest itself when ordering food in a cafe or restaurant: first he thinks about fish, after 5 minutes he wants to take a beef steak, and after another 10 minutes he wants ice cream and tea. Perhaps the point is not that your interlocutor visited a cafe for the first time in a long time.

Have you noticed any other traits that indicate a person's low self-esteem?

Source: https://www.adme.ru/svoboda-psihologiya/10-kazalos-by-obychnyh-chert-povedeniya-kotorye-s-golovoj-vydayut-nizkuyu-samoocenku-2090265/

Formation of personal self-esteem

This process (and the result, i.e. self-esteem and level of aspirations) is influenced by 2 factors - the attitude of relatives and friends and awareness of one’s own actions. The latter does not appear spontaneously - it is developed through interaction with other people. Relatives and educators should teach children to control their actions, to coordinate their own “wants” with the desires of others.

A feature of the process is that in each age period accompanying activities play a large role. For example, younger schoolchildren devote a significant part of their time to studying - the decisive factor here will be grades and entries in the diary.

This process includes 4 stages:

1. From birth to one and a half years - in psychology it is also called procedural-situational. The child does not see the connection between his own actions and characteristics. There is a tendency for bias in assessment, since this is based on external performance results. The latter are often determined not by the child’s actual capabilities, but by simple chance. The child acquires a sense of trust in the world and a positive attitude towards the world.
2. From one and a half to 3-4 years - the stage is called qualitative-situational. Self-awareness occurs, a sense of autonomy/dependence on the adult’s reactions to one’s own actions develops. A connection is established between quality and action.
3. 4 – 6 years – scientific name – qualitatively conservative. The stage is typical for the child to develop an understanding of what kind of person he will become. Depending on the situation in the family, the girl/boy develops a feeling of initiative or a feeling of guilt - the most powerful negative impact is exerted by strict control and the presentation of many demands.
4. 6 – 14 years or qualitative-dynamic period. Self-analysis becomes objective, but at the same time it is dynamic. A sense of hard work develops. The danger is the inability or inability to perform certain tasks - this contributes to a lower self-esteem.

All four periods are interconnected. Each of them arises on the foundation of the previous one. Earlier levels build up later ones - this is what explains the complex nature of their functioning.

Formation of student self-esteem

Subjective self-esteem has a significant impact on the effectiveness of various types of activities and the development of an individual’s personality in all periods of its formation. Adequate self-esteem gives an individual self-confidence, helps to correctly set goals and successfully achieve them in various areas of life, gives the necessary personal qualities, such as initiative, activity, enterprise, activity, and the ability to adapt.

At a certain age stage, the development of self-esteem is predominantly influenced by the type of activity that is leading during this period. The leading activity of primary school students is educational activity. The formation of the baby’s self-esteem mainly depends on how it goes. The success of educational activities is directly related to his success in learning and academic performance.

The formation of students' self-esteem is the main new development of personality. The assessment activities of teachers are the basis for developing self-esteem in children studying in primary school. The development of student self-esteem continues to develop when the teacher shows a positive attitude towards students, believes in their capabilities, and demonstrates a desire to help them learn. And the methodological side of the development of adequate self-esteem comes down to the use in educational activities, mainly, of subjective standards, which create precedents for students’ reflective assessment of their actions.

To develop adequate self-esteem in younger schoolchildren, a teacher must use various mechanisms and methods. The main way is feedback. All looks, gestures, words, movements, and intonations directed to the baby are feedback. It must be taken into account that the child absorbs and appropriates such feedback. With their help, he forms his self-esteem. And if the feedback has a positive direction, then it will ensure the development of a high level of self-esteem and, conversely, if it has a negative direction, it will ensure the development of a low level.

Harmony and mental health

When studying how self-esteem affects health, it is necessary to understand that in order for a person to achieve psychological comfort, he must trust himself. It will not be possible to form this feeling if self-esteem is very low and there is no self-respect. Then the person will behave inconsistently and break the promises he made to himself.

People with low self-esteem often go to extremes: they either completely ignore their own experiences and succumb to the influence of others, or give in to their emotions completely, not paying attention to the signals of the mind.

What influences the formation of self-esteem

Self-esteem is developed in a person from early childhood.

• It matters how parents show their love for their child
  . If love is unconditional and does not depend on good behavior, such a child will grow up with normal or high self-esteem. When he understands that he will be loved only for something (put away toys, got an excellent mark, took out the trash), then in adulthood the person will believe that he cannot be loved just like that, and a good attitude must be earned.
• The attitude of parents towards the successes and failures of the child plays a big role
  . Parents’ value judgments such as “You can handle this”, “Such a smart kid will definitely do it” have a positive role in the formation of self-esteem.

Accordingly, statements in the spirit of: “They don’t ask you”, “You understand a lot”, “Well, as always, you are armless” for many years lay in a person the attitude that he is “bad”, good for nothing, stupid, incompetent, etc.

Self-esteem can decline already in adulthood. For example, a person tries to build a career, works a lot, improves his qualifications, but career growth does not occur. The individual begins to doubt his abilities. If self-esteem was initially normal, the reason for the failure will be found. Low self-esteem can drop even lower.

Women are often deliberately devalued by men with whom they are in intimate relationships. A complex partner deliberately humiliates his wife or girlfriend in order to be able to impose his will on her. The woman begins to be perplexed and analyze what is wrong with her. If her parents instill self-respect and love, then the girl will break up with a toxic partner; if not, she will suffer and prove her need to an unsuitable man.

The influence of self-esteem on behavior around strangers

Of course, the first impression is often false, but it is always remembered and leaves its mark in further communication.

• A person who is insecure is often not even noticed, because he is embarrassed to talk to others, prefers to retire and remain silent.
• The same cannot be said about a narcissist. He is loud, intrusive, arrogant. He will be remembered, but not in a good way.
• When meeting a person with healthy self-esteem, they are remembered as a polite, interesting interlocutor with whom you want to continue communicating.

Methods and tests for personality self-esteem

Many techniques are used to diagnose self-assessment. Let's highlight the main ones:

• Dembo-Rubinstein technique. Three settings are significant in it: realism, height, stability. During diagnosis, the subject determines his condition using selectable scales, taking into account some nuances. The research is simple to perform: a table is drawn on a regular sheet, each of its columns is one of the properties, and its position is the content of the property at the moment. At the bottom are the values ​​that the subject is trying to get rid of, at the top are those that he wants to possess. This test must be performed in combination with a subsequent interview.
• Budassi personality self-assessment technique. It analyzes the parameter quantitatively and reveals its adequacy. Based on self-assessment. It is carried out by 2 possible methods - it requires comparing ideas with actual indicators or with other people.
• Cattell test. This questionnaire is the most common diagnostic method that analyzes individual psychological traits. The purpose of the study is to discover 16 personality factors.
• Leary test. Based on the diagnosis of value judgments in relation to oneself and loved ones, the description of the ideal “I”. Consists of 128 statements revealing 8 types of relationships.
• Test for the study of G. Eysenck's states. Relevant when identifying traits of aggressiveness, frustration, and rigidity in behavior. Information is presented briefly. The list indicates conditions that may be typical or, on the contrary, not characteristic of the subject.