The essence and general characteristics of values and value orientations of the individual
Definition 1
Value orientations of an individual are one of the fundamental structural formations of a mature mature personality, within which its various psychological characteristics converge.
A person’s value orientations are one of the most important characteristics of his personality. This is due to the fact that it is value orientations that determine a person’s attitude towards the people around him and the establishment of interaction with the surrounding reality. In addition, it is value orientations that have a regulating and determining effect on human behavior, actions and actions.
Note 1
Understanding and being aware of his value orientations, a person searches for his own place in the world, reflects on the purpose and meaning of his life.
The structure of value orientations of a person’s personality includes three main integrative components:
- Cognitive component.
- Emotional component.
- Behavioral component.
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Each of these components takes an active part in the formation of value orientations of a person’s personality, and the totality of the components determines their characteristics, content, degree of manifestation and empirical verification.
Thus, the study of the characteristics of the psychological formation of value orientations is carried out within the framework of a systematic approach, which allows us to consider them as a result of a person’s mastery of the surrounding reality and successful socialization in society.
Definition 2
Values are the separate spiritual, moral and personal interests of a person.
Values are usually studied on the basis of two approaches, each of which considers them as a multi-level human psychological system:
- The normative approach to studying the values of a person’s personality is aimed at describing a model of a value system within the framework of a specific psychological theory.
- The descriptive approach to studying the values of a person’s personality is aimed at identifying the hierarchy of an individual’s value system.
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Thus, in psychology, values are considered as certain objects or phenomena, their properties and characteristics, which include a number of social ideals that are significant for a particular person and are his standard of what he should do.
Why, even after receiving the desired grade, a person may not feel satisfied?
The image cannot be happy, and the real me cannot be recognized. It takes a lot of effort to fit into an image, and that doesn't give recognition. It often happens that people recognize our image (the idea of us), and not the real us. And we, the real ones, may not be needed by these people. It may not be because they are “bad.” The fact is that the need of these people lies in the plane of what mask they are wearing at the moment. For example, a boss may recognize his subordinate only because he is convenient for him, without knowing at all what he is like in reality. In this case, this may be enough for both.
Formation of values and value orientations of the individual
The process of forming values and value orientations of an individual is carried out gradually, including a number of components.
Components of the gradual formation of values and value orientations of an individual:
- Worldview - this is a person’s system of views on the world around him, his place in society, his attitude towards himself, the people around him and reality, as well as a look at the basic beliefs, principles, ideals and life positions of people.
A person’s worldview is a general set of views on the surrounding reality, based on a system of beliefs, human existence and philosophy of life.
- Reflection - this is a critical reassessment of personal values, in accordance with the general idea of the meaning of life.
Reflection manifests itself in the form of a pause during a person’s activity or his relationships with other people, during which he psychologically evaluates the situation, his behavior and role.
- Focus - this is a set of fairly stable motives that orient the activities of an individual in accordance with the situation occurring around a person.
The direction of personality largely depends on the interests, inclinations, ideals and beliefs of the person. That is why, by its nature, orientation is a multifaceted quality of personality.
- Orientation is a process of personal growth and development, which involves the change, formation and integration of all components of personality.
Orientation is a process of gradual development of personality and its gradual growth in mental and moral proportions.
A mature personality plays a special role in the formation of values and value orientations. That is, the process of personality “maturation” has a direct impact on the formation of values and value orientations. That is why they are considered as the most important characteristic of a mature and formed personality.
Human needs for social recognition
Like most people, I struggle with my sense of personal authenticity and constantly question who I am, what I look like from the outside, what I say and do. I ask all of these questions with a deep sense of compassion, truth, and gratitude for myself and for all people. To be honest, many of us feel overwhelmed by these feelings most of the time. Of course, this is my opinion, but many of those with whom I work agree with it - it resonates deeply with them.
As you know, a person's lack of authenticity can cause a lot of grief both in his own life and in the lives of those around him. But it is even more harmful (and I have learned this from my own experience more than once) when a person is not genuine and does not realize it.
I've spent almost my entire life doing everything in my power to look good, be liked, and succeed, all in an attempt to gain the approval of others and have them say nice things about me to myself or others. I strived for success in school, in sports, in business mainly to prove that I was a good person and worthy of the attention and admiration of others.
But at the same time, I have always gravitated towards the present (this is my nature) - in myself, in others and in general. In other words, I have always been interested and passionate about authenticity. I have a very good “falynmeter” that resonated with people and situations that seemed true to me and attracted me to them.
What failure taught me
Growing up, I played a lot of sports, especially baseball. I loved baseball and played well. While I was at school, I played all the time; In high school, I was offered a spot on the New York Yankees, but I decided to turn it down and play at Stanford University instead. After my third year, I was offered a professional contract again, this time by the Kansas City Royals, and I signed.
So this is my third season with the Royals, I'm 23 and still in the minor leagues. And then my sports career suddenly ended: I tore the ligaments in my left elbow and injured my pitching arm.
This career-ending injury devastated me, but it also taught me one of the greatest lessons of my life: through pain, it taught me to value life and myself while you have something, not after you lose it.
As a kid, my favorite day was the last day of the baseball season. On the last day you usually lose. And since I hated losing and especially didn't like ending the season with a loss, there were two things I liked about this final game. Firstly, after the end of the season the tension went away, at least for that moment. It became unimportant how I performed, my rating and status in the team, whether I served well, etc. I felt as if the torture had ended and all the guys on the team with whom I competed, compared myself and often envied during the season were now in the same boat with me, that we were at the same level. The end of the season was kind of a great equalizer and I really appreciated that.
And the second, and more important reason why I loved this final match was that the other guys on the team, even the tough ones, sometimes broke down and cried. Although this did not happen often (we were all taught, either explicitly or implicitly, that “men don’t cry”), in such moments I felt sincerity and loved it very much. It also helped me not feel like I was abnormal because I cried from time to time, something I would like to be able to do on a regular basis, although I had carefully taught myself to hide my emotions so as not to be ridiculed by my team and friends.
I thought there was something wrong with me
In childhood and adolescence, I often felt that there was something wrong with me, although outwardly everything seemed to be in order with me: good grades, good appearance, many friends, success in all sports, that is, I looked quite “happy” " and "successful". I decided that I was paranoid or that I was just too sensitive, too insecure, too emotional or something...
The fact is that I always doubted myself, felt like a stranger, thought that I was no match for those around me, despite my external “success”. I felt like I was “faking it” all the time. But when I saw someone cry, or when I said something that seemed real, fragile, I always felt more connected to others, felt more normal.
Having walked through life and heard about the fears, doubts and insecurities of thousands of people, I am now convinced that we all have moments (some more than others) when we think that something is wrong with us. But there is nothing wrong with the fact that I think and feel this way, although in my youth I was convinced of the opposite, and still in moments of uncertainty these thoughts return.
I have often found myself in situations through which I learned so much about myself and faced my own fears, blind spots and situations where I was not myself and lived contrary to who I am. Some of them were incredibly difficult and painful for me, but they became my best teachers, especially in how to be authentic.
The Downside of Loss
I have experienced several difficult losses in the last seven or eight years, most notably the deaths of my father in 2001 and my friend and mentor Richard Carlson, author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, in 2006. They were some of the most important people in my life. Their departure was unexpected, stunning and incredibly painful for me. I had lost loved ones before, but the passing of Dad and Richard brought unexpectedly intense grief. In both cases, I was shocked to the core and did not know how to continue to live without people so significant to me. At the same time, this suffering changed me.
Death has magical properties. Ironically, it helps us realize the gift, the value of life. Dad's and Richard's deaths opened my eyes in many ways. Their passing was confusing and deeply saddening, but it made me think about many light and dark things that I had never thought about before. In the days and weeks after their deaths, I felt especially receptive, present, alive and authentic, and I appreciated that very much.
Often situations like this can be a wonderful blessing from a tragedy, even in the midst of pain.
Think about a time when something significant or difficult happened to you: the death of a loved one, a divorce, a health scare, serious financial problems, a layoff, or anything else that occupied your full attention and truly awakened you. Perhaps it makes you appreciate life more and connect with yourself and others in a more authentic way? Happy moments can have the same effect: marriage, achieving a big goal, the birth of a child, a major milestone, and so on.
Unfortunately, after this type of experience, we soon lose our expanded view of the world and awareness and return to our usual state. It’s as if a beautiful window of fragility and awareness, having opened for a moment, immediately slams shut and we return to the Inauthentic state, allowing everyday worries to take over us. I am well aware of this phenomenon, but I see this happening all the time in my life and around me, and it always makes me sad.
August 12, 2020 at 10:30
Gary Chapman
What can you do to get true recognition from others?
Psychologists say that it is important to build a social environment around ourselves where we can interact as we are with each other, without masks. To gain a sense of integrity, identity and pleasantness, it is very important to contact real people and not devalue personal experiences. And give others the opportunity to experience the same emotions, give them the opportunity to be themselves in contact. This is the only thing that guarantees the feeling that I am in my life, I am not lying to myself.
When a psychologist works with such experiences, empathy is very important. The psychologist will give you the opportunity to explore the field and answer the question of what takes you out of the state of being yourself? It is very important to convey to communication partners the idea that there is no good and bad, but there is something that you personally don’t like. It is primarily about tolerance for differences between people. This is the same muscle that can be pumped up, including in a psychologist’s office.
