What does it mean to develop yourself and where to start your self-development?

In this section I will post articles, recommended books and, perhaps, just thoughts on how I see the opportunity to develop myself and develop my personality. After all, this is extremely important for a person of any specialty. And what can we say about such professions as managers and marketers - people who are constantly exposed to stress, periodic depression and creative crises. In this first article, I will outline seven basic principles that I try to adhere to (90% successfully) to develop myself as a specialist and a person.

Develop in everything

The first principle, paradoxically, is the acquisition of new skills and knowledge. This may sound strange, but there are no areas that I am not interested in. Some things are more interesting, some less. It is impossible to know everything about everything, but I really want to... Read as much as possible. I take every opportunity to read something or listen to an audio book, report, article. Moreover, this applies to both scientific and artistic works. It may seem that this blurs the idea of the world and that extra information will interfere with focusing on the main thing. At first, that was the case for me. But then it turned out that all things in the world are interconnected, and by reading a book on psychology you learn a lot about marketing and advertising. I really like the expression that our knowledge is like a circle. What is inside is known to us, and what is outside is unknown. The larger the circle, the greater the circumference and the more unknown and interesting we encounter. As our philosophy teacher said, the question WHY can be asked endlessly.

Soul and body must go together

We have a developed stereotype that there are two extreme points - a frail and helpless nerd, and a jock athlete who does not know the multiplication table. This is fundamentally wrong. No, of course there are some that confirm stereotypes. But still, I am sure that every normal person should maintain a balance in this regard. I must say, I didn’t come to this right away. Previously, I also thought that physical work was harmful for knowledge workers. But it turned out to be the opposite. Several years ago I felt a serious advantage and any, even fairly simple physical efforts were difficult. On the other hand, I often had a headache in the evenings, and when I woke up in the morning, after sleeping for 8-10 hours, I got up already tired. This is precisely due to the lack of physical activity. Besides, let's face it. We don’t do exercises not because of high moral principles, but 99% of the time because of simple laziness, justifying ourselves with some nonsense: oh, the weather is bad, I won’t go to training; oh, I went to bed late yesterday, I won’t do exercises today; oh, I'm late... By justifying ourselves, we undermine our spirit and self-discipline. So, if you're a super nerd, it's time to start running in the morning. At the same time, you can listen to an audiobook if you are worried about wasted time.

Try new things

If you do one thing for a long time, of course, your skills are honed and you become a real virtuoso in your field. But this does not mean at all that this is exactly what you should do all the time. Quite the opposite. Try something new, try to discover new facets in yourself. And even if you don’t succeed, don’t be upset. No, I am against the approach: you have to try everything in life (including drugs, fights with riot police, etc.). And it’s not at all necessary to force yourself to do things against your will (except for those cases when you know that you need it in life, for example, learning a foreign language, or physical exercises). But discovering a new genre, visiting places you haven’t been before, doing something you haven’t done before is still worth it. But here people are so afraid of disappointment that they constantly try to do what they have already tried and achieved at least some success: they go to the same restaurants, communicate with the same people, go to the same resorts...

What prevents you from showing your uniqueness?

Let’s not focus on the fact that a lot of things are laid down in childhood and depended on our parents and environment. This is clear to everyone. The task of an adult is to get through all the “difficulties” and mistakes of his childhood to freedom of expression, like through thorns to the stars. This is the only way to form a mature personality that can show its uniqueness.

What you need to free yourself from in order to reveal your uniqueness:

excessive focus on the outside world

Nowadays very little attention is paid to the inner world. People do not pay attention to their feelings, do not understand their internal motives that drive them, and do not notice what is happening inside them. But each person has his own unique view of the world, his own dreams, thoughts and ideas. But often a person lives only with the worries of material life and his physical body, completely without thinking or noticing his inner world, and therefore does not know what potential is hidden in the depths of his “I”.

ignorance and misunderstanding of oneself

Uniqueness is hidden in the soul of a person, but usually a person is not in touch with his soul and does not understand its manifestations. Most people identify themselves with their physical body and their thoughts. Therefore, people do not understand their feelings, their reactions to something, do not know why they experience certain emotions and states, and do not know their abilities. To understand your unique potential, you need to reveal a deeper level of your “I” - the level of the soul.

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fears

Any fear is the strongest block. It fetters our energy and prevents a person from expressing himself. Of course, fear is the opposite of freedom. Even the expression “freed from fears” suggests that freedom is a state in which there is no place for fears. The solution here is to recognize and work through all your fears, and especially the fear of expressing yourself. And also in developing courage and fearlessness. The development of inner strength will help with this - this is faith in yourself and in your divine power, because in everyone there is a piece of God, his energy, which gives us life. Feeling this always, you know that no fears exist for you, you can overcome anything.

illusions and subconscious attitudes

From the outside world, each person gains a lot of illusory and destructive attitudes. They live in the subconscious, but prevent you from expressing yourself freely. For example, such as: “A person is given a fate that he cannot influence in any way,” “Man is sinful and imperfect by nature,” “Life is suffering,” “You cannot trust your feelings, only facts,” etc. And it is also a belief in any limitations. Every person has beliefs that he lacks something or is limited in some way. This is exactly what prevents you from expressing yourself freely.

habits of following society’s stereotypes or opinions of authorities

If you live only according to accepted models of society, or following the example of parents or other authorities, a person will not be able to demonstrate his uniqueness. Life is a person’s personal creativity, but if you copy existing behavior patterns, you will only get someone else’s copy.

Many people want to know how to live, how to act, they are looking for answers, what is “right”. They look for answers in books, religions, teachings, gurus and teachers, but not in themselves. But if you only blindly follow the perceived truths, there will be no personal creativity, in which the uniqueness of a person is manifested. All perceived knowledge should serve as a stimulus for one’s own creativity in life. You need to pass them through yourself and find your own answers to any life question.

Almost every person feels that they are capable of more than they are now. We know deep down that we have untapped potential—and it's unique to everyone. Discovering uniqueness depends on the ability to hear your soul, understand your individuality and the tasks of your personality.

Don't be afraid of failure

Many people write about this, even more talk about it, but very few people use it in life. The fear of being misunderstood, funny, or simply disappointment in one’s own abilities stops many and prevents them from doing great things. Failure is just valuable experience that you gain to reach the next level. I remember when I first came to tennis training, I saw “grown guys” playing there. With what force they hit, with what speed the ball flies, and they have time to react and hit it. Moreover, not just to hit it - but also to where it needs to go (on TV it doesn’t give such an impression). Compared to them, my attempts to hit the ball the coach simply threw at me looked not so much pathetic as funny. But you know what? Nobody laughed. Time passed, and now I can easily play on an equal footing with them, and even win from time to time. But then every training session I had the thought of telling it all to hell with words - nothing works! It's not mine! I’d better go and sit at the computer, I’m better at it. But I didn’t do it, I endured it, and I don’t regret it at all. This is a simple example, and I am sure everyone can easily find many such episodes in their lives. Therefore, in the future, remember why we fall...

Personality formation: what you need

It's time to figure out how to become a person. What do you need to know or be able to do for this? It is important to remember that the main thing in this case is the presence of the following points:

Self-awareness. That is, how much a person feels the strength and desire to improve and change. This inextricably follows the concept of self-confidence (not self-confidence, which is precisely what prevents a person from becoming a full-fledged person).
You need to understand that a person is responsible for all his actions. We must hope and count only on ourselves, without expecting outside help.
A person is an independent person. Neither from other people, nor from circumstances.
And most importantly, be able to admit your mistakes and be flexible. Principles are good, but you need to be able to give in and lose.

Think about the future

Another principle that, unfortunately, many people forget about is thinking about the future. I don’t mean the rosy dreams that in 5-10 years I will be sailing to my own island on my own yacht. I mean serious plans and ways to implement them (of course, someone will have both a yacht and an island, but there are still very few of them). The fact is that I quite often come across the fact that people do not think at all about their future, even short-term. For example, they buy an expensive car or an apartment on credit. At the same time, their income cannot cover monthly payments. Now we have the money, and then we’ll come up with something. And when that “there” comes, they complain that the banks are stripping them of their clothes. But this is the simplest example. In general, you should have a picture of your future, and a fairly specific one, with dates and numbers. Then you will be able to control your path to your dreams. Well, for example, you want to buy the same apartment in 5 years. Do you know your income? What should it be like in 5 years? How will it grow? Will you find a new job, or will your current boss appreciate you? For what? Will you perform better? Perhaps you are missing something? Take a course? Or is this a “temporary” job before a big “own business”. When do you plan to start it? Why? For what money? It is in this vein that it is advisable to direct your thoughts. Of course, you should leave room for unexpected accidents, otherwise it would be boring. But constantly living in hope of chance is somehow frivolous.

The process of personality development

Psychologists have provided two simple steps that illustrate how one becomes a person:

You need to look under your mask. That is, to be naked in front of oneself, to understand who a person really is, throwing away all images. This search is the most important stage of development.
Experiencing feelings is the next stage. In moments of strong emotional stress, a person becomes who he really is. Forming the right self at such moments is an equally important stage.

Learn to enjoy life

Work, ideas, the future, hack work, great projects - all this is wonderful. But is this what you live for? People often forget what it's all about. Remember: “do we live to work or work to live?” Don't go too far. Enjoy life, travel, meet friends, go dancing, or do anything else that really brings you pleasure (walking in the rain, drawing on the asphalt with crayons, feeding wild ducks, cold beer in warm company). Many people underestimate the importance of positive emotions in life. It has long been proven that people who do not know how to enjoy life (or know how to but for some reason do not do it) are less valuable employees than a positive person (in all respects). No, of course I don’t mean that you have to “get busy.” It also happens that everyone needs to turn on the workaholic and sit through the weekend, cleaning up the tails of themselves or a colleague. But if you do have a day off, you shouldn’t spend it at the machine (computer). Take up your hobby or something else. I assure you, if you do not consciously direct your thoughts to work, this does not mean at all that your subconscious mind does not think about it. It often happens to me that you sit all day, struggling with some task, and nothing happens. And then you switch off, you sit in front of the TV in the evening or in a cafe with friends and bam - an image of a solution to this problem appears in your head. By yourself, and without any effort. I think this is familiar to many. In general, enjoy life, do what you like and try to always think positively.

Appreciate the people around you

And the last principle that I would like to draw your attention to is to appreciate the people who surround you. I mean EVERYONE: your loved ones, friends, colleagues, just acquaintances. After all, one way or another, they support you, give you strength, help you solve your problems, and simply make you happy. Alas, we often realize the importance of a person only after some serious or irreversible consequences (quarrel, illness or death). It shouldn't come to this. Do not throw offensive words rashly. Don't touch people's nerves. Remember that each phrase may be the last this person hears from you. And simply, value people. Also, be aware of the unusual properties of emotions. Both negative and positive emotions tend to self-perpetuate and expand. So you yelled at a colleague - and he feels bad, and you feel lousy at heart. But on the contrary, they helped, encouraged him - and he felt better, and your mood lifted.

Of course, this is not a complete list of principles. But still, I laid some foundation. I am sure that if you use at least them, your life will improve significantly, quite quickly and in all directions. Finally, I would like to say a few words about luck. Many people believe that success largely depends on luck and there is no point in trying to do something, you just need to wait for your finest hour. So this is a wrong position. Let me give you a simple analogy. Let's say you're playing dice and you want a six to roll up. If the number of throws is limited, then the probability is 1/6, i.e. there really is an element of luck. And if not? What's stopping you from rolling the dice 6 times? 12? 100? You can roll until a six is rolled 5 times in a row! It’s the same in life. You can try something once. Or you can try again and again - and then you will leave no chance for luck! She will simply have to love you!

January 30, 2013

Can a person not be a person?

Before considering how a person becomes a person, it should be noted that there are two opinions about whether every person can become one.

Some argue that in the process of socialization and development, each living unit of Homo sapiens becomes a person to one degree or another.
Another group of specialists testifies that there is a circle of people who cannot be called a person. Such people do not develop in the process of their development, but degrade.

That is, as a small conclusion, I would like to say that, in essence, the formation of personality is a process of assimilation of norms and values that are relevant for a particular society.