How to develop willpower and self-discipline

Events in life very often require a person to make volitional decisions. But what is the mechanism of these actions? What is will, and what does it depend on? Why do some people have it, while others clearly lack it? What role does the mind play in its formation? How free are people to choose their own path? For what reason are some decisions made with ease, while others force you to literally abuse yourself? Is it right to go ahead? Is it possible to develop your will? Why is this necessary? Is it possible to do without this quality? The topic is extensive, we will understand it together.

What is will

Self-control (willpower) is a person’s ability to respond correctly to any internal conflict. All people are subject to various momentary weaknesses, often not entirely useful and correct. Only those who have sufficiently developed discipline are able to fight these urges and bring their ideas to life.

An example is the desire to have a snack in the middle of the night or buy a fatty pie instead of a healthy snack. We understand that this is wrong, but we are often unable to overcome ourselves. As a result, harm is done to the body, and we are tormented by remorse.

Controlling our own impulses is how we differ significantly from animals. If you don’t train it, then there is a chance to harm not only yourself, but also those around you. It is the importance and methods of training willpower that will be discussed in this article. You will find a lot of useful tips and understand why it is so important to say “no” to yourself in time.

The concept of will in psychology

The structure of a volitional act has the following form:

1. First, a person experiences psychological or physical discomfort - this is an incentive in relation to a subsequent action (for example, there is discomfort in the stomach);
2. Then there is an understanding of my discomfort (the sensations in my stomach tell me that I am hungry) and the emergence of desire (I want to eat). But it happens that awareness does not occur.
3. Then it is customary to talk about attraction : a person wants something, but does not know what exactly. He begins to look for the cause of his feelings until the attraction turns into the status of desire (he stroked his rumbling stomach - it didn’t help, he sang a song to him - there was no result, he saw an appetizing chicken on TV - the sensations intensified and the realization of hunger came);
4. Desire gives rise to purpose (I need food);
5. Making a decision to take action (go to the supermarket for groceries). If at this stage a person has two or more desires, then a collision occurs between them. In psychology, this phenomenon is called the struggle of motives (I want to eat, but I don’t want to go outside because of the heavy rain);
6. And here an act of will - the choice of one of the motives (I decide to take an umbrella and go);
7. This is followed by internal planning (which store I will go to, what I will buy) and external execution of the plan (I get dressed and leave the apartment).

Why is it important to develop willpower?

First of all, you need to understand that self-control is not an innate quality; it can and should be improved. In fact, it is the basis and support of your personality. The more time you devote to developing this ability, the greater your chances of achieving success in any endeavor.

During his life, a person sets many goals for himself. But most of them turn out to be unattainable. Or does it just seem that way? In fact, most people simply quit what they started, obeying their momentary impulses. Laziness, fear, temporary interest in something new - all this prevents us from becoming the person we sometimes see in our dreams. Therefore, it is very important to develop willpower before it is too late to change something.

How to develop willpower

Will is always a conscious act, the main motive of which is the word “must” or “must”.

A girl who is losing weight may not be happy with a strict diet and exhausting workouts, but she needs to do it to look good. It is difficult for a student to get up early to come to the first class, but he must do it, otherwise he will not receive the coveted diploma. The child does not want to clean his room, but does it so that his parents don’t get in trouble.

From this it is clear that the will is not associated with joyful impulses, but with forcing oneself to some activity, action or inaction (sometimes not doing something is also a manifestation of the will. For example, not smoking).

So how can a weak-willed person cultivate this quality, especially since it is not associated with rest and relaxation?

1. Literally forcing yourself is violence. A person will not be able to mock himself endlessly and one day he will give up without reaching his goal. Therefore, the first advice is to find for yourself the right motivation.
   Well, for example. An elderly man (old man) will lead a healthy lifestyle (HLS) in order to maintain his health and, as a result, live longer.

   Such motivation will not work for a young man who is full of strength, because he is still far from death and does not think about it at all. But he can motivate himself to play sports for the sake of female attention. Honesty with yourself is the key to effective motivation.

2. Willpower is cultivated by such a quality as courage . Many decisions are put off by people due to fears (often irrational) and lack of confidence in their abilities. A brave person goes forward, even if he is scared. There are no people who are not afraid of anything. There are those who are afraid and do, and those who are afraid and inactive. Everyone is afraid - remember this. Courage and courage are trained like this: you must do what you are afraid of. Along with these actions comes the feeling of “I can do it!”, self-esteem increases and self-confidence appears.
3. Willpower requires constant training . If something doesn’t work out once, you need to try a second, third... tenth time. Failure is also an experience. It is necessary to analyze your actions, rethink them, change tactics and strategy, think more often about the goal, get up and move on.

Author of the article: Liliya Sergeevna Kovalenko (psychologist)

Volitional qualities and their development

The formation of self-control begins in early childhood. A child aged 3-4 years already begins to understand what can and cannot be done, despite his personal desires. More active development of self-control, which will play a major role in the future, occurs during adolescence. By the time a person reaches adulthood, he is supposed to have enough self-control to be able to confront himself.

But not every person can really improve this quality to the required level. In some cases, the will is suppressed by more authoritarian relatives. As a result, there are no manifestations of self-discipline, and only certain qualities are developed. To gain maximum ability to set tasks and complete them, it is important to develop each such quality.

Independence

Manifestations of independence begin in early adolescence. But the trouble is that for most children this quality is ruined by prohibitions, punishments and ignorance. As a result, in later life, expressing one's own thoughts, ideas and desires becomes a difficult task.

However, independence can be developed in a short period of time. This does not require any special qualities. The main thing is to find a starting point from which to start. It could be almost anything:

• The decision to change jobs is balanced and unshakable.
• Opening of an online exhibition of your works.
• Buying a gym membership.
• A holiday spent differently than usual. For example, a long trip instead of a trip to the country.

The main thing is that you make any decision yourself, without advice or tips. All responsibility for the result will rest with you, and rightly so. The ability to be responsible for one’s actions and deeds is the basis of independence, without which an adult cannot live fully.

Initiative

This quality of a person is on the same level as independence. In fact, one is impossible without the other. It is initiative that is responsible for taking the first step towards making a decision. When planning how to increase your willpower, place a lot of emphasis on the ability to advocate for your own ideas.

The main enemies of initiative are laziness, fear and inertia. They can sit inside every person. The main thing is not to let them take your personality to pieces. Otherwise, you risk spending your whole life waiting for benefits that suddenly fall on your head. And this only happens in fairy tales and films. In real life, you need to do a lot of hard work on yourself.

The easiest way to develop initiative in yourself is to find something that will truly interest and excite you. In this case, you will subconsciously try to develop it more than just routine work. Don't forget about creative development. An activity where you need to use your imagination and imagination helps you develop the ability to beautifully and interestingly promote your own ideas and plans.

Be persistent

Taking the first step towards the desired result is very important. But it is equally important to be able to maintain interest in the matter. Perseverance as a strong-willed quality is the key to the fact that you will be able to complete any task. It largely depends on the personality type. Hot-tempered and bright people can start promoting an idea quickly, interestingly and actively, but eventually burn out. More thorough individuals who have a sufficient amount of patience and perseverance, as a rule, cannot find the courage to start.

Most often, this quality is called willpower. To develop this side of character you need:

1. Accustom yourself to finish any task you start.
2. Learn to weed out ideas that you don’t have the strength or patience for, especially if you clearly understand this.
3. When you are about to start a task, calculate how much time and resources it will take you. To avoid burning out and reaching the end, just break it down into equal stages.
4. Be sure to stimulate yourself by thinking about the results of your work.

Self-control and self-control

Remember that indecision, fear and inertia are characteristic of every person. It is enough to understand how to develop self-discipline in order to defeat all negative manifestations within yourself. First of all, remember that exercising self-control is a decisive step out of your personal comfort zone. This is often difficult, uncomfortable and with minimal comfort for the nervous system. But this is typical only for the beginning. Having sufficiently developed self-control, you will not notice negative factors.

The ideal training for self-control is sport in any of its forms. The main thing is to set specific goals for yourself and persistently work towards them. For example, learning to lift a certain weight or hone your shooting accuracy. It is quite possible to set higher results, for example, run a marathon or become a participant in any local competition. The main task in this case is not to retreat under any circumstances.

Start planning

Without the habit of focused work, you can be distracted by any little things. This makes it very difficult to achieve your goal. Increasing willpower means learning to limit yourself from these little things while you are busy with a specific task. Planning your tasks helps you weed out what is not worth your attention right now.

Stephen Covey, an expert in time management, talked about a simple scheme with which you can systematize all your possible tasks and activities.

1. Important and urgent. This category should include things that require your immediate attention. For example, force majeure, deadlines and any critical situations. The development of your own projects should be included in this category.
2. Important, but not urgent. This is a search for new connections, useful acquaintances and connections for development. Making plans, by the way, also falls into this category.
3. Unimportant, but urgent. This should include your personal calls and meetings, communication on informal topics that do not directly affect work.
4. Unimportant and not urgent. This category is more likely not for business, but for idleness. This includes watching movies and TV series, surfing social networks, computer games and more.

It is most convenient to make such a plan for no longer than a week. Then you will be able to control and regulate your own actions in accordance with the developed list. At first, this rather strict regime will cause discomfort, but over time you will get used to rational use of time.

Proper planning of the day

Many trainings and personal development consultants teach us that we need to plan our day. This is a very true remark, but some features of such planning need to be taken into account.

First of all, remember that each person’s daily schedule is individual. The fact is that each organism has its own biorhythms, time of activity and regularity. These criteria are very important to consider when drawing up a work plan for the day.

It’s worth observing yourself for a while, recording the peak of activity. Based on this observation, you can draw up a rough schedule. Following it for the first few days, make adjustments and amendments to make the schedule as comfortable as possible. In this way, you will not only develop willpower, but also be able to increase your own effectiveness.

Useful habits

Forming good habits is another step towards answering the question of how to develop discipline. This process is quite difficult and requires persistence every day. But as a result, you will get excellent training for such qualities as composure, responsibility and attentiveness. The main thing is to choose a useful habit that will become your daily exercise machine. However, there may be several of them:

• Keeping a diary. This will help you monitor your daily activity. Based on the recordings, you can most accurately adjust your work so that it is more beneficial and less tiring.
• Cost accounting. A useful activity that helps not only to learn self-control, but also to save significantly.
• Morning work-out. The habit of doing even the simplest exercises every day will give you a boost of energy and teach you how to maintain a daily routine.
• Replenishment of the dictionary of foreign words. Make it a rule to learn 3-4 new words every day. This way, you will stimulate your memory and, as a result, add another acquired quality to your portfolio.
• Read 1 book per week. This will not only teach you how to strengthen willpower, but will also significantly expand your horizons and erudition.

Meditation

The ability to meditate correctly solves several problems at once. You will be able to relax even after the most difficult stressful situations, strengthen your health, spirit and increase your personal effectiveness. When it comes to willpower, meditation is a great way to do passive daily training.

Essentially, self-control is the ability to manage your own thoughts and emotions. This is what meditation teaches us. By devoting just 30 minutes a day to this activity, you will gain a strong nervous system and the ability to withstand any stress. At the same time, your level of self-control will increase significantly. In addition, the ability to effortlessly direct thoughts in the right direction will positively affect the achievement of efficiency at work.

Healthy eating

We have already figured out how to learn to direct energy in the right direction. Now it is important to understand where to get enough energy to achieve new goals and objectives.

The body receives energy through food. Therefore, it is very important to watch what you eat. Eliminate fast food and too much fatty foods from your diet. You should also control your sugar intake.

Try not to snack on the run. Allow enough time to eat in peace. This will not only help improve the functioning of the digestive system, but will also teach you order. Be sure to eat fruits and vegetables (some can be eaten raw). Fish and lean meat will benefit brain activity. And also don't forget about water. The norm for an adult is 2-2.5 liters per day.

Sport

As we noted above, sports are ideal training for willpower. At the same time, it doesn’t matter at all what kind of activity you do. Running, swimming, horseback riding - everything will be equally beneficial. Systematization and adherence to the training plan are also important here. Don't allow yourself to miss classes. Only a serious illness or injury can serve as a significant reason.

Psychologists note that it is best to study in a group. This way you will not only find new friends and like-minded people. Motivation for success increases significantly when you have an “opponent” in front of you. Healthy competition tones you up and makes you strive for higher results.

Functions of the will.

Processes associated with making volitional decisions perform three regulatory functions of human behavior:

• Stabilization – the ability to maintain activity regardless of external or internal factors;
• Motivation is the ability to begin a certain activity if it is realized that it is necessary;
• Inhibition is the ability to restrain emerging desires if they do not correspond to the general strategy.

All three components play an important role in the socialization of a person and his achievement of success. To start work, you have to use your will to move. Then no less effort is made to overcome obstacles and not be distracted by temptations.

Ensuring these functions of the will largely depends on the development of related personality qualities, such as:

• Self-control - control of your thoughts and actions;
• Decisiveness – timely implementation of plans, without hesitation or doubt;
• Persistence – overcoming obstacles on the way to a goal;
• Perseverance – concentrating on one task, ignoring distractions;
• Discipline – conscious adherence to norms and rules (not necessarily external, but may also be your own);
• Independence – making decisions based on one’s own opinion and internal motivation;
• Courage is the willingness to defend one’s opinion and fight for a goal.

It is the combination of all these qualities that helps to make strong-willed decisions and achieve their implementation. This means that in order to strengthen the will, it is necessary to develop the above components.

Moving from theory to practice

Perseverance is a muscle that requires daily work and action. That's why it's important to figure out how to develop willpower. Every time a person acts contrary to his own desires, perseverance and the ability to control his weaknesses become stronger. As soon as a person indulges his habits, willpower turns into flabby muscle.

Practical recommendations

Start small

In other words, don't try to lift too much weight without proper training. Don't try to achieve a lot in one day. Take things gradually and set yourself an easy goal to start with. Having achieved it, a person will feel satisfaction and a desire to move on. The first victory fills you with strength and motivates you to further action.

recommendation ! Make it a habit to do exercises every morning. When morning workouts become a habit, move on to the next stage - meditate every day, first for 5-10 minutes.

Planning and daily routine

If you're really interested in how to develop willpower, start by organizing your daily routine. First of all, give up the habit of sleeping too long and wake up at the same time. Make an effort and feel how easy your day will go. In addition, maintaining a sleep-wake schedule is beneficial for health.

Plan your activities for the whole day and follow the plan. Be sure to set goals for yourself, for example, read a useful book, spend time with your child, learn 10 foreign words, wash the dishes after every meal.

It is important! Clean up your home and workplace. This is an important stage in self-discipline and willpower development. Set a goal for yourself - not to violate the plan and strictly carry out what is planned.

Don't put it off until later

No one knows what will happen tomorrow, so, having defined a goal for yourself, follow it today and now. From a psychological point of view, by postponing things until “later,” a person accumulates a burden of responsibility and a feeling of discomfort arises.

Play sports

Regular training disciplines, strengthens willpower, and helps overcome laziness. Every sport requires you to step over yourself and overcome discomfort.

Start with simple workouts at home for at least 10-15 minutes a day. Do the exercises at the same time.

Do useful things

Stop watching TV and social networks. Read more, spend time outdoors, do things that improve you.

If you make a promise, keep it or don't make it at all.

Every promise must turn into a matter of honor that must be followed through. Instead of “must,” tell yourself “I give my word” or “I promise.” By keeping your promise, you train your willpower and, accordingly, strengthen your muscle.

In practice, it looks like this: don’t scold yourself for the time spent in front of the computer, but firmly promise yourself to join the gym or go to the pool instead of playing computer games.

Be restrained in your gastronomic weaknesses

Avoid fast food snacks, eliminate sausages and other unhealthy foods, review the menu, and eat healthy foods. Once you have created your menu, start implementing it on the same day. Prepare a simple but tasty dish. The experience will undoubtedly be interesting and useful for you.

It is important! Read books with healthy recipes and choose dishes from your favorite foods.

If you need to lose weight, eat three times a day and make it a goal to eat nothing between meals.

Get rid of bad habits

Remember that every bottle of beer, every cigarette is your weakness. Fight your weaknesses, overcome them. After all, bad habits lead to personality degradation and the triumph of the simplest instincts.

Meditate

Meditation is the first step towards strengthening volitional self-control. The benefits of meditation are obvious:

• helps relax;
• teaches to control emotions and control the body;
• puts thoughts in order;
• the person becomes more disciplined.

According to statistics, global personality changes begin with meditation. To feel positive changes, you need to meditate twice a day. The essence of the practice is this: throughout the session, hold the same pose and focus your attention on something specific. Every time your attention tries to wander to the side, by force of will, return it to its starting point.

Is it possible to develop persistence and perseverance?

It’s not enough to set a goal; it’s important to understand how to develop perseverance and determination. It is necessary to understand that no matter how weak a person may seem, and no matter how difficult the situation may seem, you can always curb your desires and develop perseverance in order to become happier and more successful.

The first sign of insufficient persistence is external disorder - in the house, things, in the workplace. External chaos generates internal chaos, therefore, a person cannot cope with his own laziness and is unable to resist desires. Due to the lack of external and internal discipline, health problems arise, but there is not enough motivation to act and start training.

It is important! Effective methods for forming a person’s consciousness include daily auto-training and the ability to force oneself to go towards a goal. It is important to work on yourself every day, using different ways - sports, meditation, reading, yoga. Convince yourself that willpower is the key to achieving any, even the most difficult goal.

The Brain and Willpower: Meet the Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain located just behind the frontal bone and the eyes.
Throughout evolution, it mainly controlled physical movements (walking, running, climbing, etc.). Over time, it not only grew larger, but also strengthened connections with other parts of the brain and took on some new functions. The prefrontal cortex is now responsible for your actions, thoughts, and even feelings. The prefrontal cortex has 3 independent sections that control various aspects of willpower:

• The left lobe of the prefrontal cortex is responsible for the “I will” part.
• The right lobe is in charge of the “I won’t” area.
• And the lower middle beat serves “I want.”

Together, these departments provide our self-control and self-awareness, or, in other words, our willpower.
The importance of the prefrontal cortex is best illustrated by cases where people have suffered injuries that affect this particular part of the brain. In 1848, Phineas Gage, a calm, polite, and hard-working foreman, found himself in a situation that resulted in a very serious head injury that damaged his prefrontal cortex. The injury changed him forever. Friends could not recognize Gage: he had turned into an irritable, impulsive person - literally the opposite of himself.

Phineas's case is one of many examples of what happens when a person suffers from damage to the prefrontal cortex. This makes it clear that willpower is not something mystical, but just one of the functions of our brain.