Psychological aspects of adolescent self-affirmation

Why does a person need

assert yourself?

A person lives in society, and from childhood he has to compare himself with others and evaluate others. Self-affirmation is behavior aimed at asserting one’s own importance, establishing the right to self-expression and achieving the desired social status. This is a need that stimulates one type of behavior or another.

The motives for self-affirmation are determined by the desire to improve material well-being, career, and gain authority. In addition, it is a tool for self-knowledge and interaction with others.

By asserting himself, the individual seeks his place in the team and self-determines in society.

This issue has been studied in psychology from the very beginning of its existence as a science. Initially, self-affirmation was viewed only from a negative side. But subsequently, psychologists became interested in what specifically determines the mechanisms of self-affirmation, what behavioral strategies are characteristic of a self-affirming personality.

What is self-affirmation

Self-affirmation in psychology is a person’s desire for social recognition and respect. You can assert yourself both in practical activities with the help of real achievements, and at the verbal level - by talking about real or fictitious achievements.

Self-affirmation is closely related to self-esteem. A self-affirming person wants to receive high praise from society and himself.

As a rule, they choose one area for self-affirmation, for example, work, family (motherhood, fatherhood) or creativity. But some people try to be the best at everything. And some even assert themselves at the expense of other people. The latter method cannot be called constructive and healthy. This is a psychological defense mechanism behind which a person hides his pain.

In psychology, the following judgments about self-affirmation are taken as a basis:

• self-affirmation is the desire to feel the value and significance of one’s own personality;
• there are different models of behavior within the framework of self-affirmation;
• One of the destructive models is self-affirmation at the expense of others.

Interesting! The need for self-affirmation can be ordinary or dominant. Sometimes it becomes the goal and meaning of a person’s life and determines the make-up of his personality. Such people are self-centered.

Peculiarities

Let's analyze the features of self-affirmation through its components:

1. Social interaction. Self-affirmation is impossible outside of society.
2. Interaction with oneself and the formation of self-concept. Self-affirmation is connected with the rest of the “self”: self-realization, self-esteem, self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-knowledge, self-actualization, self-determination (professional and in life) and so on. Sometimes a conflict arises at the junction of the first and second elements. For example, it may be difficult for a person to achieve self-esteem and respect from other people.
3. Hierarchy of motives and needs, value system. In the process of self-affirmation, these elements can be transformed (the person himself can change his values ​​when necessary), but at the same time, the initial base determines the specifics of self-affirmation.
4. Behavior. The need for self-affirmation dictates to a person what to do and how to live. However, there are different tactics: defensive, compensatory, dominant, constructive.

In addition, self-affirmation is associated with self-esteem. Self-affirmation is the desire to declare oneself, one’s individuality, and uniqueness.

Developing your self while maintaining interest in others

Constructive type of self-affirmation. A person strives for self-discovery through the development of his own personality. Such self-affirmation is a natural process for a person seeking to realize himself in society. Constructive self-affirmation is important for the individual, as it is a motivating factor for self-realization. Self-realization is one of the main tasks of personality development. This means that a person is doing what he loves, he has succeeded in his profession and family. I found love and discovered my creative abilities.

The concept of self-realization is sometimes confused with the concept of social success, although they are not the same thing. In the public consciousness, the understanding of success is determined by material security, popularity, and power. Self-realization is the disclosure of natural data, one’s purpose.

Self-disclosure of personality is not always successful in all areas of activity. At each age it has its own characteristics. For example, there are cases where physically weak teenagers achieved high results in sports. This age is especially characterized by the need for self-affirmation. And his best side is his hard work on himself. Adults assert themselves in their profession. In this case, a person reveals his abilities without denying other personalities; the essence of his self-affirmation is the ascent to higher levels of development. Finding oneself in a new quality, a new role at each specific time (age) stage.

With the constructive type of self-affirmation, a person himself determines how to establish himself in society and gain confidence in the value of his self. Women are characterized by self-affirmation in the role of mother, wife, and housewife. Male wealth is determined by success in social and professional activities.

A successful person can do a lot for others, but his success may not bring him a sense of self-satisfaction. A self-realized person is a happy person. These two concepts are not at all mutually exclusive. Some people manage to combine both social success and personal fulfillment.

Signs

A sign of healthy, constructive self-affirmation is continuous self-development and self-improvement of the individual. With this approach, a person compares himself only with himself and becomes the best version of himself. He overcomes difficulties by working on himself, and not by belittling other people.

If for some reason a person considers himself worse than others, has problems with self-esteem and self-perception, then he chooses destructive ways of self-affirmation. For example, he asserts himself at someone else’s expense. We will talk about this in another article, but for now we will consider the main manifestations (signs) of self-affirmation at the expense of others:

• insults;
• humiliation;
• intimidation;
• destructive disputes (to argue, not to find the truth);
• provocations;
• organization of “bases”;
• unfounded criticism;
• gossip and discussing a person behind a person’s back;
• condemnation;
• focusing on a person’s shortcomings and failures;
• authoritarianism;
• demonstrative importance.

A person devalues, humiliates, suppresses others in order to appear better against their background, instead of working on himself and actually outperforming other people in something or adjusting his self-esteem, developing and establishing himself on an equal footing with someone. Such people are rude and aggressive. Sometimes they appear outwardly confident, but in reality they are not.

Self-affirmation at the expense of others or why a sense of self-importance is bad

In our society, self-affirmation at the expense of others is quite widespread. You will see this in practice in any area of ​​life: at school, some kids humiliate others in order to feel cool; the mother criticizes the child and does basic things for him in order to feel important; The boss yells at an employee because he wants to strengthen his power.

We assert ourselves at the expense of others in order to feel important, even if we later fail to save the relationship. We need something to reinforce our sense of self-importance, and every time, again and again, we need even more of this feeling, this intoxicating feeling of power and glory. Why do we need this? Why do others need this?

We all play games all the time. We can say that we don’t really live, everything happens automatically - we play out our roles as a parent, a child, a student, a colleague, a motorist, an angry passerby... we have many such roles, and we participate in the game all the time. We don’t notice it, because inside the game we are like fish in water. The game is air, an unconscious dream, where we are given a role, and we obediently fulfill it. Only occasionally do we manage to leave the game, turn on awareness and experience real life, but then things get busy and we fall into the game again.

The problem is that the game is illusory, it does not give us real sensations and feelings, so we experience life as something gray, insipid and boring. And all the time I want one thing - to feel alive. Ask people why they steal, cheat, cheat, drive at breakneck speed? We want to feel life, adrenaline, feelings, emotions, we want to “feel alive.”

The feeling of self-importance is the same intoxicating feeling, a small pinch of adrenaline that makes us feel the moment of life. Therefore, we collect these moments like chips in a game, so that in the end we can say to ourselves “I won.”

Self-affirmation at the expense of others is an insidious thing in many guises. A woman whose husband drinks a lot complains to her neighbors about how unhappy she is, that the house, children, and work are on her shoulders. Fire victims who have lost all their property and cannot obtain insurance are forced to visit relatives. Do you think trouble is unpleasant? Grief loves an audience, it seeks sympathy and attention, even if it requires real suffering. That is why we cherish and nurture our sores, savor our sorrows and disappointments, and surround our problems with an aura of mystery.

There is also an obvious manifestation of a sense of self-importance. Have you seen modern weddings? How do they celebrate the birth of a child now? How do people like to post travel photos on social networks and collect likes? Surely you recognized yourself in all this. Agree, it’s nice to receive attention. It's nice to know that someone thought of you, admired you, or even envied you. And you collect compliments, admiration, likes, approval, hidden envy like chips in a game. To feel alive, to say “I won.”

Eric Berne calls such states “psychological coupons.” We use such psychological coupons in the supermarket of life to buy expensive goods. Check out the list and you might recognize your favorite purchases.

Inferiority complex coupon

Beneficial for those who like to be insulted and offended. He needs the approval of others, but he will agree to some kind of punishment. For example, someone will say a harsh word about his hairstyle or creative work. It would seem, who cares about appearance? And is it really necessary to take criticism to heart? But no, it is important for a person with an inferiority complex to feel offended to the core, because this way he will receive the sympathy of the crowd.

Depression coupon

Such coupons are used to buy the repentance of those who “brought it down.” People who fall into depression love to feel sorry for themselves, to feel helpless, because when others are to blame for their troubles, they can safely blame everyone around them, but not themselves. Depression is a surefire way to feel how everything is falling out of your hands due to the fault of others. And then these others come and repent of their guilt, of what they have done, how they have offended. This is the sense of self-importance of the offended victim, this is the treasured chip... Such games are usually played by wives whose husbands have cheated. Women love repentant men who come to confess, because this is the only way lovely ladies feel how important they are to their beloved ones.

Aggression coupon

Critics love using these coupons. They buy them the opportunity to shift responsibility onto the shoulders of others. While others are being judged for their shortcomings, there is no time left to deal with one’s own problems. And it’s such a wonderful feeling to feel that someone else felt the bitterness of worrying about their worthless life, because the critic saw all this worthlessness and “taught them how to live.”

Infallibility Coupon

“It’s others who are to blame for what’s happening, not me,” thinks an infallible person who actually wants only one thing - complete control and management. When you consider yourself good, the shortcomings of others become especially clear. And it is because of her son that the mother ends up in the hospital, because he thought more about his new family than about the woman who raised him. Now she has the opportunity to reproach him, and he will, like a darling, run to the hospital, paying for medicine and paying all his attention to his sick mother.

Excellence Coupon

There are people who believe that they are always right. In their opinion, there is no need to take others and their interests into account. It is much more important to prove that you are right in order to ultimately gain respect and recognition. Do you remember when you said something to a friend, but he disobeyed you, and in the end everything turned out the way you said? Do you remember what a pleasant feeling it was? Well, you then bought yourself respect and recognition with a coupon of excellence.

Self-affirmation at the expense of others never leads to anything good. Ultimately, you end up with hidden hatred, divorces, quarrels, and gossip about yourself. Remind yourself that we are all equal, that no one is better or worse by definition. Comparisons are only appropriate in an objective way, when you yourself want to become better, but when you realize that we all do not compete with each other, but provide mutual assistance, it becomes easier for you, and you play games less and less.

Based on the books by Eric Berne

Causes

If we are talking about healthy self-affirmation, then the reason is the natural need for acceptance by society and the desire for internal harmony. If a person does not find a healthy way of self-realization, then he will find himself cut off from society.

A person who asserts himself at the expense of others does so for reasons of self-defense. It seems to him that there are only enemies around him. To prevent others from attacking, reproaching, or criticizing him, he strikes first. The reasons for this attitude towards the world: lack of love, attention, acceptance, security in childhood. At first the parents did not accept the child, later this turned into the child not accepting himself.

The appearance of desire

The desire to assert oneself appears early. This is first noticeable in early childhood - about three years. At the age of three, a child experiences an age-related crisis, which in psychology is called “I myself.” It is at this age that the child first realizes his significance, value, independence and tries to defend all this, to declare himself. He wants his opinions and desires to be listened to and respected. In general, he strives for self-expression and self-affirmation. However, the peak of the craving for self-affirmation occurs in adolescence.

Healthy self-affirmation involves the gradual disclosure of personal potential, interaction with society through existing abilities and opportunities. However, sometimes people use other strategies.

Self-suppression

This is a blocking of personal potential and abilities, a ban on self-expression. This is based on fears, anxieties, doubts, complexes, and conflicts. For example, self-suppression often occurs against a background of fear of failure, uncertainty, low self-esteem, distrust of society, fear of criticism and public condemnation.

Psychological aspects of adolescent self-affirmation

Municipal budgetary educational institution secondary school No. 1

city ​​of Sychevki, Smolensk region

Psychological aspects of adolescent self-affirmation

(speech at the pedagogical council)

Teacher-psychologist: Stankevich E.V.

Adolescence is a period of personality development. At this age, character traits and basic forms of behavior are formed, and the foundations of morality are formed.

In adolescence, the needs for self-knowledge, self-expression and self-affirmation become even more pronounced.

The constant interaction of a teenager with peers gives rise to his desire to take a worthy place among them, which is one of the dominant motives of behavior and activity. The need for self-affirmation is so strong that for the sake of recognition by peers, a teenager is ready to sacrifice his views and beliefs, to do things contrary to his moral principles. That sometimes teenagers are ready to violate norms and rules of behavior,

A teenager’s forms of self-affirmation can be varied. The simplest of them is the external imitation of adults, their bad habits, behavioral characteristics (smoking, drinking alcohol, drugs, excessive and tasteless use of cosmetics, wearing peculiar clothes, using obscene language).

Another form of adolescent self-affirmation is an increase in aggressive behavior. According to the statements of A. N. Leontyev, one of the main motives for the manifestation of aggression, or rather verbal aggression, in specific speech situations are motives associated with the need for self-realization and self-affirmation: protest against overprotection and restriction of freedom on the part of adults; the need for autonomy, independence; the desire to achieve an authoritative position in the children's team, etc. [4, p. 93].

The socio-psychological service of MBOU Secondary School No. 1 of the city of Sychevka, Smolensk, in the 2015-2016 academic year, conducted diagnostics of the level of aggression (the Bassa-Darki questionnaire “Diagnostics of the state of aggression” [2.p.78]) among older adolescents in the 10th grade, a high level of aggression in 25 %, in 11th grade "a" - 62%, 11th "b" - 67%, a high level of verbal aggression was also revealed: in 10th grade - 44% of students, 11th "a" - 93%, 11th "b" - 77%.

The reasons for the increased level of aggression in adolescents are the following:

• poverty of value orientations,
• their primitiveness,
• lack of hobbies,
• narrowness and instability of interests,
• low level of personal socialization,
• need for self-affirmation.

Positive forms of self-affirmation and factors in reducing the aggressive behavior of adolescents are playing sports, working in the family, school, performing socially useful activities, and self-affirmation of students through extracurricular activities. Teenagers are enthusiastically engaged in research and creative activities in educational and scientific circles and creative associations.

Extracurricular activities are a concept that unites all types of activities of schoolchildren (except academic ones), in which it is possible and appropriate to solve the problems of their education and socialization [5], and therefore the self-affirmation of the individual.

The goal of any extracurricular activity is to create conditions for the child to express and develop his interests on the basis of free choice [3], which depends on the interests of the teenager, on the type of creative activity in which a person can best express himself. In turn, the choice of the type of creativity depends on: personality, habits, upbringing, temperament, abilities, and characteristics of the life path.

Creativity is a form of personal self-affirmation.

Creative activity is amateur activity that embraces a change in reality, self-realization of the individual in the process of creating material and spiritual values, which helps expand the limits of human capabilities [6].

Teacher V.A. Sukhomlinsky believed that “creative inspiration is a human need in which a person finds happiness, experiencing spiritual satisfaction from what he creates, a person truly feels that he is living...” [7, p.243].

Nikolai Berdyaev in his work “Self-Knowledge” in Chapter 8 “The World of Creativity: “The Meaning of Creativity” and the Experience of Creative Ecstasy” wrote: “I realized that the consciousness of sinfulness must turn into the consciousness of creative uplift, otherwise a person goes down…. If a person has fully mastered creativity - both in terms of its flow and results - then he has reached the level of spiritual development. He can experience moments of unity of all internal forces” [1, p. 124].

Psychologists distinguish the following types of creativity:

• Scientific creativity includes the search for what already exists, but is not accessible to our consciousness, the study of phenomena and various patterns of development of the world.
• Technical creativity, the creation of discoveries and inventions, the creation of new material values.
• Artistic creativity consists of creating aesthetic values, images that evoke spiritual experiences in a person.
• Co-creation is a level of perception that allows the viewer or listener to understand behind the eventual side of the work its deep meaning, that is, the subtext that the author wanted to convey to the viewer [2. p.23].

This classification allows a teenager to choose a creative activity that will satisfy his personality, habits, abilities, characteristics of upbringing and temperament. Based on this choice, the teenager can choose a direction (spiritual and moral, general cultural, general intellectual, social) and a form of extracurricular activities (club, class hour, excursion, project activity, school scientific communities, theater, etc.)

Teachers can help teenagers with the issue of self-affirmation, organizing their extracurricular activities so that the basis of classes is teenage creativity, and also help them decide on the direction of extracurricular activities, which helps reduce aggressive manifestations, socialization and self-expression of students.

Bibliography:

1. Berdyaev N. Self-knowledge. – M.: 1990.
2. Ilyina E.V. Psychology of creativity, creativity and giftedness. – M.: 2001.
3. Islamova F.N. Organization of extracurricular activities in the conditions of the second generation Federal State Educational Standard https://nsportal.ru/nachalnaya-shkola/vospitatelnaya-rabota/2016/01/20/organizatsiya-vneurochnoy-deyatelnosti-v)
4. Leontyev A. N. Fundamentals of the theory of speech activity. - M., 1974. - 245 p.
5. Lotova A.A. “Extracurricular activities as an important condition for the implementation of the Federal State Educational Standard of the new generation” Lotova Antonina Anatolyevnaultiurok.ru/files/vnieurochnaia-dieiatiel-nost-kak-vazhnoie-usloviie
6. Romakh O.V., Sleptsova A.O. creativity as a condition for the formation and self-realization of a talented personality (https://www.analiculturolog.ru/journal/archive/item/661-creativity-as-a-condition-for-the- formation-and-self-talented-individuals.html)
7. Sukhomlinsky V.A. Selected pedagogical works: in 3 volumes. Volume 2. - M.: Pedagogy, 1979.

What is it for

Self-affirmation is important for the internal harmony of the individual. We have already said that a person’s attitude towards himself depends on this. In addition, public recognition and self-affirmation makes life meaningful and motivates for further accomplishments.

Without self-affirmation, self-development and self-realization are impossible. Otherwise, intrapersonal conflicts, depression, addiction, and aggression arise, which is directed either at the person himself or at other people (sometimes taking passive forms).

Important! Refusal of self-affirmation, the absence of such a need indicate that a person does not accept himself and (or) has difficulties with socialization.

How to assert yourself

As we have already noted, healthy self-affirmation is the disclosure of personal potential. That is, a person must understand what he is capable of and what he wants. It is also important to understand what the subject wants to do in life, what he is ready to give to the world and how the world is ready to help him.

How to understand yourself? A good place to start is by identifying your interests, values, and abilities. If you cannot make a list yourself through self-analysis, then use diagnostic techniques. For example, you can use the following tests:

1. Diagnostics of personal creativity, author – E.E. Tunic. The technique allows you to determine the degree of development of curiosity, imagination, complexity (craving for solving complex but interesting problems), and propensity to take risks.
2. All kinds of intelligence tests. That is, not only the well-known Eysenck IQ test, but also a test of social intelligence, musical, physical, etc.
3. Methodology of M. Rokeach “Value orientations”. Helps determine the presence and expression of basic human values.