Why can a child aged one year or older be afraid of other children?
There are many reasons why a child may be afraid of his peers:
- offended on the court;
- hit;
- fear of uncontrollable actions towards oneself from others;
- inability to interact with children and find a way out of conflict situations;
- excessive care of adults.
It is necessary to determine whether the child is really afraid of peers or avoids contacts due to shyness
But when talking about fear of other children, you need to pay attention to the child’s temperament and character. Perhaps your baby is very shy, and therefore avoids contact with peers. In this case, he would rather prefer to communicate with someone he knows well, rather than with a large noisy company. But if the baby starts to cry, starts screaming, or says that he is afraid, you should think about it. Observe his behavior to determine the cause of the problem.
Identifying a fearful child is usually not difficult, given tension and anxiety in behavior, avoidance of the source of threat, and a positive answer to the question about the presence of fear.
Encyclopedia of practical psychology "Psychologos"
https://lib.komarovskiy.net/rabota-so-straxami-u-detej.html
Deposed King
It’s one thing if a child doesn’t fit in at one school, but gets along well with the children in another, and quite another thing if he changed several schools and became a “whipping boy” everywhere. In the latter case, he most likely provokes quarrels himself; the first one begins to bully. Overly spoiled children, who are accustomed to being the center of attention at home, often begin to behave in the classroom as in their own family: they demand a lot, do little themselves, are mischievous and capricious. But such “princes” and “princesses” are not liked. This could ultimately lead to serious clashes.
Therefore, parents must figure out whether their baby is really an innocent victim, or is it a “dethroned little king”? Mom and dad must realize that until the child has grown up and has not established a stereotype of communication in a team, has not developed the “unfortunate of the unfortunate” complex, they need to teach him to communicate normally: to give in, to compromise, to share. Most likely, it is the absence of these qualities that prevents you from establishing relationships with classmates.
“My son is very quiet and cannot stand up for himself.” What to do for parents - advises a psychologist
Photo: pixabay.com. Used as illustration. “My son is 9 years old,” the reader wrote. – He is very quiet and calm in character, sometimes other guys offend him. The husband often calls his son a wimp and says that the boy should be able to stand up for himself, persistently advising him to go to the wrestling section. My son is categorically against it. He goes to music school, loves to read, and spends a lot of time at home. I don't know how to properly raise him. Should we force him to wrestle, should we try to remake his character? How to teach your son to stand up for himself without breaking him?”
Accept your child for who he is
This is what Natalya Egorova :
Psychologist Natalya Egorova.
– Dear Elena, the main thing is to learn to accept your child (even if he is more shy or overly emotional than others) for who he is. Your son attends a music school, loves to read, is calm and quiet in character, so classes in the wrestling section will be psychologically traumatic for him, and in no case should you insist on such classes.
It is no less dangerous to compare your son with other children and set them as an example. This is both offensive and not always fair, since the neighbor boy can run well, but, unlike your child, be completely incapable of music. Such comparisons often become the root cause of low self-esteem. It is very important to see in your son a personality who may be significantly different from other children, albeit more active and athletic.
Your spouse is delusional that wrestling will change your son. In fact, he can make his son more confident. If the child does not agree to go to the wrestling section, then at least just go for walks, jogging, rollerblading and cycling together. From about 8 years old, a boy needs more communication with his father than with his mother. At the same time, in order to convey your own life values to your son, you need to communicate with the child every day and devote a lot of time to him so that he feels the presence of his father both physically and emotionally. Every boy should be sure that his father will be able to push all his affairs into the background at any moment and spend his time with them.
Some parents misunderstand raising boys - and inevitably make mistakes. Here are three major myths regarding raising sons:
- Boys will always be aggressive, playful, play around and take risks.
It's a delusion. Research has proven that those children who are loved are themselves able to give love, and those who are cared for are able to show care. How a boy will behave depends, first of all, on his upbringing, and not on gender characteristics.
- Boys need to be courageous.
Because of this belief, many men are unable to live the life they would like to live for fear of being ridiculed and bullied. In reality, masculinity can be expressed in different ways. A boy can cry, play “girl games”, while remaining a worthy representative of his gender. So, some boys prefer to spend time not on sports fields, but in the kitchen, creating their own culinary masterpieces, and there is nothing reprehensible or shameful about this. The main thing is that they are happy and satisfied with themselves.
- Boys are predisposed to violence.
In reality, they are sensitive, capable of empathy and helping those in need.
Do not put pressure on a child, help him with self-determination - this is the basic rule of upbringing. It is important to abandon stereotypes, give the child a little more freedom, and not impose your dreams and aspirations on him. Calm, self-confident parents, who do not expect immediate super-achievement from their child, and who are understanding of their successes and failures, are the key to the child’s development of self-confidence and adequate self-esteem.
Many parents dream of a calm child who plays board games all day long... It is important to understand one thing: all children are different, each of them has their own path.
What to do if a child is afraid to fight back: advice from a psychologist
We have already talked about whether it is necessary to teach a child to defend himself. What if the child is afraid to do this? He is offended, he is offended, he would like to fight back, but he endures: what if it gets even worse? Psychologist Olga Danilova answers:
[:same:]
– The aggression of others usually spills over into these children – those who cannot stand up for themselves. Most often these are children of parents who themselves do not know what to do in a situation of violence. To teach a child to stand up for their rights, they themselves should think about it. But working on yourself takes time, and the situation with the child is often urgent. What can be done today, tomorrow and in the very near future?
First, figure out which team the child is in. Perhaps this is a place where there are simply a lot of children who know how to cope with a situation only by force, and the teacher or educator condones this. In this case, it is better to simply transfer the child to another school or kindergarten.
Secondly, you cannot leave your child alone with difficulties. His parents should protect him, so don't be shy - go and find out what's going on. When parents are involved in the process, the child has something to rely on.
Thirdly, some children themselves cause situations in which they are the victim, and others are the aggressor. This is their way of getting the attention of adults. If you feel that your child is constantly complaining, you should think about whether other children are as bad or whether the problem is in yours. Here it is better to seek help from a child psychologist.
[:rsame:]
Fourthly, no matter how brave and decisive the mother is, the father is always responsible for the safety of the family. It is important for children to spend as much time as possible with him. It is the father who, by his example, can show the child how to protect himself in different situations.
Fifthly, sometimes even we, adults, are faced with situations in which the only way to cope is to physically “push” the enemy. That is, use a language that he understands. This, unfortunately, happens with children too. It is important to explain to the child that it is possible to fight back, but only as a last resort, when nothing else helps.
Defending yourself, being able to compete, not being afraid to get angry and show aggression are very important skills that are acquired in the family. Don't be afraid to think about whether you have them. If you don’t always cope with all this or not very well, you should start with yourself. Children learn from our example.
- Two drunken girls showed childish cruelty when they killed a passer-by with their bare hands in Kem
- The beating of an eight-month-old child by a mother in Yakutia was explained by postpartum depression
