Introverts and extroverts: what are they like in relationships?

Each of us, if we don’t know for sure, has at least once thought about the question of what kind of psychotype we are – an extrovert or an introvert. We are already accustomed to the fact that there are usually two personality types. But what if you are both the life of the party at noisy parties and a fan of spending evenings at home with a book? If you can't say for sure, what charges you with more energy - meeting with friends or time alone? In fact, there is a third psychotype - ambiverts. The golden mean, which we will talk about today on the How to Green portal.

Traits of an introvert

Introverts tend to be energized when they are alone, in a calm and quiet environment. They perceive social rejection more painfully and do not always feel safe in the world around them.

Emotionally stable introverts:

• passive
• careful
• thoughtful
• managed
• reliable
• balanced
• calm

Emotionally unstable introverts may be:

• quiet
• pessimistic
• unsociable
• reasonable
• unshakable
• gloomy
• alarming
• closed

Introverts as they are

There is a type of introverted personality type who knows how to be “invisible”, and there is another - his loneliness and detachment are striking. An extroverted person who is unfamiliar with the characteristics of an introvert is sure that it is difficult to communicate with an introvert, that they are all people with an unstable psyche. Which is far from true.

An introvert really likes to spend more time alone and at home. With other people he seems to feel like a “guest”. He is tense, carefully selects his words, monitors his actions and gestures, and is forced to monitor the reaction of his interlocutor.

Its main features:

• Interaction with people always has a certain character and is subordinated to a specific goal. There will be no spontaneous conversations. An introvert radiates tension, even if he is polite and smiling.
• They are comfortable with being alone for long periods of time
• They clearly keep their distance from themselves. If their personal space is violated, he becomes offended or irritated.
• High threshold of tolerance
• Restraint in emotions
• Thinking through your actions
• High degree of analysis of one's behavior
• Returning to unpleasant situations and failures, scrolling them through your head
• Purposeful and observant
• Attention to detail

Introvert Behavior

An introverted person prefers a solitary lifestyle.

An introvert has a difficult time in society. They often have difficulty getting their message across correctly. They are sometimes ashamed of themselves, often imagining themselves as someone else. It’s hard to believe that the traits of closed behavior are characteristic only of them, and the majority have a completely different world order. It is difficult for an introvert to find someone who understands him. Usually these are people of his own type.

If a person’s introverted orientation is stable, this means that he belongs to the phlegmatic type of temperament. That is, quite balanced, strong, able to establish contact and communicate with others, which is why they can be confused with extroverts. But the phlegmatic person is slow, the speed of reactions and information processing is lower than that of active choleric or sanguine people, who are usually extroverted. Melancholic people have more deeply developed introvertive traits; they are more withdrawn and vulnerable.

Relationship with an introvert

Usually the union of a strong extroverted man and a soft, pliable introverted woman is ideal. Marital roles are distributed in an adequate manner established by nature, and the risk of a breakup is minimal. But what about other couples?

Family relationships, harmony and understanding are not always influenced by the introversion or extroversion of partners. Of course, an extroverted wife will want to show character and set her own rules, but an introverted husband is also able to choose a tactic according to which the pressure of his wife will not greatly influence him. For example, remain silent to all her reproaches. The extrovert will stop attacking.

Two extroverts will have a vibrant, passionate relationship, but not necessarily a strong one. You can get tired of the amount of emotions in life. And two introverts can only agree if both are aware of each other’s characteristics.

Extrovert Personality Traits

Extroverts get their energy from interacting with people and being active. They are less sensitive to social rejection and consider the world around them to be an absolutely safe place. Introverts and extroverts are radically different, you can’t argue with that.

Emotionally stable extroverts:

• friendly
• sociable
• talkative
• responsive
• good-natured
• carefree
• energetic
• have the makings of a leader

Emotionally unstable extroverts may be:

• active
• optimistic
• impulsive
• changeable
• excitable
• aggressive
• restless
• touchy

Extrovert as he is

There is a version according to which an extrovert is sociable, shallow, and not smart at all, in contrast to an introvert, who immerses himself in knowledge headlong and does not waste energy on chatter. However, this is a big stereotype.

First of all, an extroverted personality is really aimed at the outside world and establishing contacts in it, but it also has a number of other advantages and disadvantages. He may be unprincipled and not evaluate the phenomena and people around him. The main thing is communication, the exchange of information, and not the inner world of the interlocutor. However, the extrovert himself is usually sincere and open, his emotions are visible.

An extrovert looks straight into the eyes when speaking. He doesn’t delve into his own characteristics and rarely analyzes his behavior. It is important for him to live today - what is happening here and now. If, for example, we are talking about a rehearsal of a play, then such a person will every time get used to the image of his hero, and will not wait for the performance itself.

There is also an opinion that it is much easier and faster for an extrovert, who is initially socially oriented, to move up in society than for an introvert. There is some truth in this. It doesn’t matter whether the person in front of us is a man or a woman – an extrovert of any gender is distinguished by his activity in social achievements.

The main traits of an extroverted personality:

• Sociability, meeting new people quickly
• Initiative. Can take on several tasks at once, even if he does not complete any of them
• Has bright gestures, facial expressions, emotions are clearly visible on the face
• Loves praise and strives to receive it even more through his actions
• Loves to be the center of attention and speak in front of a large number of people
• High degree of adaptation in a new team

Extrovert and stereotypes about him

There are several myths that do not stand up to criticism if you properly understand the traits characteristic of an extrovert.

For example, this type of personality is not at all devoid of vulnerability and depth of experience. On the contrary, they strive to throw out emotions immediately and do not accumulate them within themselves. Extroverts share their worries and feelings with everyone around them.

In addition, an extrovert is not superficial. He is capable of empathy and understanding of others, even if they do not fully know themselves. Sometimes their own experiences remain a mystery to them, but other people’s actions and behavior are amenable to explanation and reasonable arguments for them.

Relationship with an extrovert

There are different options for the relationship between two extroverts in a pair. It is impossible to know exactly what will happen to this union, but we can assume that development will occur in two directions: passionate and business.

There are more detailed types of personalities that have an extroverted orientation, among which passionate relationships are possible:

• Type "Hugo"
• "Hamlet"
• "Napoleon"
• "Huxley"

And people with the following types will have a business character:

• "Don Quixote"
• "Jack London"
• "Zhukov"
• "Stirlitz"

Let's look at the differences between passionate and business people.

The first type is inclined to take active action in search of a partner, a spouse, while the second type waits, counts on fate, wants to meet a soul mate as if by chance, in between. Passionate people build communication based on the exchange of emotions, get married at fairly early stages of dating, then feelings cool down and the couples separate. Business people are better at checking their partner, the depth of his and their feelings, and value their other half more, without exchanging for someone else.

If a couple comes together between “passionate” and “businesslike” people, or representatives of the same type – one or the other, then the results of the relationship are usually short-lived. Introverts, as a rule, are not without reason looking for extroverts who balance each other emotionally and complement each other.

“Passionate” - “businesslike” - scandals, quarrels, desire to lead, constant competition and “pulling the blanket over oneself.”

“Business” - “business” - pressure from both sides at the same time. In this case, the forces will be equal, and a gap is inevitable, since none of them will give in. However, if you agree in advance, find a compromise, coordinate actions and responsibilities, then the alliance will be strong and perceived as jointly built, a common cause.

“Passionate” - “passionate” - frequent complaints against each other, unwillingness to give in. They will not be able to unite for the sake of an external, third-party enemy; they will stubbornly fight separately. You shouldn't expect a long relationship.

How to maintain a relationship between an introvert and an extrovert

The key to resolving conflicts that arise in relationships is understanding your partner's personality traits. An introvert needs to understand the extrovert's need for social activities. An extrovert must understand that an introvert needs privacy and tranquility. Introverts and extroverts will begin to understand each other if they learn to accept their partner for who he is.

If you have opposite personality types - introverts and extroverts - it is very important to be able to find a compromise and make such a compromise. An introvert may go to a crowded event with an extrovert; The extrovert, in turn, may agree to leave early. If you do not make mutual compromises, there is a high probability of frightening a man or alienating your beloved woman for a long time.

An introvert can offer more convenient solutions to situations that an extrovert likes, such as hosting a small dinner for friends instead of a large party for a huge group.

Opposites attract

An introvert can learn a lot from a partner and convey his values. Such couples are prone to development. The advantages are obvious. Our advice will help save your family.

How to behave as an extrovert?

• Learn to listen. You talk incessantly, and your partner thinks about what was said. Try to catch his train of thought. It is enough not to interrupt your loved one and listen to him to the end;
• analyze the answers. You can “blurt out” in the heat of the moment, but introverts remember what was said well;
• When starting an important conversation, prepare your partner. You shouldn’t launch into a verbal tirade the moment you want to voice it;
• Use other forms of communication, not just words. Show more tactile actions: kiss, hug. Be silent next to a quiet and comfortable partner. As a last resort, there is SMS, mail, and other social networks. It is easier for an introvert to speak in printed text;
• get ready for pauses in communication. Learn to be calmer. The eternal holiday tires the introverted homebody.

How to communicate with an extrovert?

The partner loves long conversations, a change of scenery, communication and new people.

• Try going out, attending exhibitions and other social events. The partner will be grateful;
• in conversations, use short and understandable phrases. Long philosophizing tires a person with such a temperament;
• learn to express emotions openly. Do not be afraid. Do you want to say it loud? Please!;
• you love silently, but your partner needs verbal proof. Call, write SMS, talk about love.

Matchmaker Elena notes: with an extrovert you can talk about everything that comes to mind. Every thought will be understood, and maintaining a conversation is guaranteed. An extrovert and an introvert develop their best qualities when communicating with each other. Learn to translate conflicts into constructive dialogue. Because one can withdraw and harbor a grudge for a long time. The second one cannot stand long silence, and will simply run away... to friends or to search for an “easier” partner.

Learn to accept each other

Accepting another person for who he is is simply vital for a normal relationship. Understanding the differences between introverts and extroverts is one thing, but accepting and even admiring the traits of the opposite personality is another.

Acceptance is when an extrovert does not try to change his partner and does not drag him all the time to some mass events, and an introvert recognizes the extrovert’s need for communication and does not keep him at home around the clock. Introverts and extroverts must master the art of give-and-take.

Energy needs

Important point. Many books on psychology have been written about the compatibility of an extrovert and an introvert. Let us derive the axiom. If you are tired, then the introvert should be left alone, and the extrovert should be released to people. Both will recharge their batteries and return to each other's arms. Introverts rarely go out into the world; it is better to look for them in a Marriage Agency. Matchmaker Elena compiles profiles, and we can easily select a candidate with a similar temperament.

Family

You have already created a unit of society, you can distribute responsibilities based on temperaments.

What does a person with introversion do in a couple?

• Does household chores;
• plans budget and various trips.

Partner with extroversion:

• carries out assignments;
• goes grocery shopping;
• attends family events (children's clubs, kindergarten).

As you can see, everyone in the pair is in their place. You are alone? We are waiting at the Marriage Agency. Matchmaker Elena knows everything about building harmonious unions.

What if you just met? How to attract the attention of an extrovert and an introvert?

An introverted man will appreciate in a lady her ability to plan her life and silent participation. Such ladies know when to leave a man alone and do not bother to sort things out. They show interest, but do not expect an immediate response.

But an extrovert will appreciate a large number of guests in the house. Of course, he will be grateful for conversations, open emotions and “thoughts out loud.”

By the way, energy vampires are extroverts.

What might your partner be offended by?

Introverts do not like to talk about business or communicate plans. This happens due to isolation. The extrovert is offended; it seems to him that his partner doesn’t care. Extroverts are leaders and they need their opinions to be taken into account. Try asking questions, you will get more information about your partner's location. The second factor is that introverts like to “hide” from problems when the extrovert discusses everything here and now.

Try to conduct an unemotional, productive dialogue, or take the solution to the problem yourself. Where do you think an introvert should turn when stressed? He'll play a computer game! This is the best case scenario. Introverts can find solace in alcohol and psychotropic substances. What does this give? A blurry picture, he seems to be “alone.” This is an unfortunate scenario, but there are two sides to the coin. Look for a suitable companion at the Marriage Agency.

Extroverts are people who run through life.

They are constantly in the thick of things, prefer active leisure, make decisions quickly, express themselves easily, and are always results-oriented - this is all about extroverts. They are very easy to recognize, they literally gush with their energy and at the same time are absolutely unable to do one thing thoughtfully and for a long time. Such people are very comfortable in an atmosphere of constant action; they never feel tired of communication.

Sometimes people with the type in question openly express fatigue and a desire to take a break from everything, but this is a fleeting statement. Even if an extrovert needs to be alone to work with documents, after a certain time he will drop everything and go out to people - go for a cup of coffee, talk with colleagues, go shopping.

Extroverts never combine such concepts as breadth and depth - we are not talking about mathematical quantities. The fact is that extroverts prefer in their learning, for example, to cover as many areas as possible, but do not go deep into any of them. During a conversation or cooperation, this becomes clear quite easily - such people have a level of knowledge, they understand what is being discussed, but if you ask a couple of questions about the topic under discussion, the answer is unlikely to be given.