The girl took a break from the relationship. I want to return her

Some couples, having reached a dead end in their relationship, decide to take a time out, in other words, to be without each other for some time. This helps some people; they take a break from each other and consider the possibility of continuing the relationship. Others, during separation, understand that the relationship cannot be returned, and it’s time to put an end to it. It is also worth knowing that psychologists consider a break in a relationship to be an easy way to break up. That is, one partner cannot muster up the courage to say that he no longer feels love, and the lion’s share of pauses in relationships have precisely this reason. We suggest you figure out when you need to take a time out, and how to get out of it while maintaining love.

Pause in relationship with a guy

Love relationships require a lot of self-improvement from both partners.
During a crisis, lovers cannot stand it and decide to take a break in the relationship. For some it helps to reach a new stage, for others it becomes the end of the union. Often friends advise a couple to break off the relationship for a while, while parents advise not to ruin it.
The man and woman are completely confused. Unextinguished feelings, common life, responsibilities and affection do not allow them to part, but a complete feeling of dissatisfaction pushes them to take a break in the relationship. Is it good or bad to take a time out?

Behavior of partners during temporary separation

How to take a break in a relationship with dignity and the least amount of emotional pain? A week's break is quite easy to bear, but a longer breakup is much more difficult to survive. There are some rules that should be followed.

Control your own emotions and do not put pressure on your partner.
Is a pause necessary at the beginning of a relationship? This is a reason to think about whether it is worth spending time on this person.
Do not manipulate health, children and similar factors - this will only worsen the situation. A person who wants a normal relationship does not behave this way.
It is advisable to stop communication completely, but if necessary, it is acceptable to exchange neutral messages.
Don’t go all out – a temporary separation is not a reason for cheating and leading a wild life.

What does a pause in a relationship mean?

A pause in a relationship is not always able to improve the situation. Alienation ends in withdrawal rather than in the awakening of passion. When a husband and wife are connected by everyday life, children, and responsibilities, they will quickly come to a common decision. If people just meet, then after their feelings cool down they have no points of contact left and the pause turns into separation.

In some cases, you need to take a temporary break to think about the situation, be alone and hear your true feelings. It is important to admit to yourself why you have a desire to be alone: is it a lack of personal time or a reluctance to stay with your partner? Conclusions will help you make the right decision.

The reasons for the break may be factors that need to be changed through active actions, rather than a short separation. Let's look at the most popular of them:

Lack of passion

At the beginning of a relationship, passion reaches its maximum. Relationships are filled with love, tenderness, sexual affection and the desire to be close. Long-term relationships lead to exhaustion of feelings. To prevent this from happening, you need to constantly work on yourself. Lovers need to take care of their appearance, be interested in their partner’s affairs, come up with new intimate scenarios, and devote time to each other.

Reluctance to hear

People love to talk, but not to listen. It is impossible to always seem right, especially if your words or actions hurt your partner. A diplomatic approach to the situation will help stop the series of scandals. Sit down at the table and discuss without insults what someone doesn’t like, find a compromise. Learn to hear your partner’s requests, fulfill them, and in return you will receive complete reciprocity.

Force Majeure

Some people (especially men) become self-absorbed in stressful situations. Instead of the necessary help, they “eat” themselves with thoughts and experiences alone. For example, a man was fired from his job, and he asks the girl to end the relationship, because now it is very difficult for him. Like, he is not worthy of her and cannot (due to financial difficulties) take her on dates or give her gifts. The guy can be called weak-willed, because instead of taking action, he decided to feel sorry for himself alone. But many men plunge into this state as soon as a problem arises.

Treason

After cheating, it is impossible to see your partner. Making decisions right away is not the best way; you need to wait until emotions subside. Alienation from the “irritant” helps to survive pain. An understanding of further actions comes to a sound mind. Loneliness cannot last forever. After a short separation, the deceived must make a decision: forgive or separate.

Uncertainty

Uncertainty is inherent in young people. When a relationship lasts more than 5 years from adolescence, you need to choose: get married or break up. For example, a couple has been together since they were 17 years old, and now they are 22. They recently finished their studies and have not yet realized themselves in life. Some get married, others are not ready to take on the responsibility of married life and secretly stop the relationship in order to “think.” Such breaks end in separation, as young people have hope of meeting someone better.

Types of pauses in relationships:

Parting is a check. Couples practice to find out the partner’s behavior in such a situation.
Parting is a necessity. It is used to sort out your feelings in private and communicate with your loved one without emotions.
Parting is hopelessness. When it is impossible to be close to your partner, the only thing left to do is “escape” from the relationship. This happens after betrayal or violence in a couple.

Parting-protest. Often occurs after a serious quarrel, when one of the partners defiantly leaves and communicates a desire to end the relationship.

How to take a time out while keeping love4

Some people are afraid to take a break from a relationship because they believe that their partner will not understand and will think that this is how you decided to break off the relationship. But if you understand that you can’t go on without a pause, you simply need it, follow the following rules:

You need to take a break together, discussing it with your partner. You shouldn’t take a train ticket and leave a note on the table saying that you went far to think it over and be alone with yourself.
If your lover is against a pause, explain why it is important to you.
Explain to your partner that this is not the end of the relationship, just a short break that will benefit both.
During a break, do not go “to the left”. Many people believe that even though the breakup is temporary, it is still a breakup, which means anything is possible. After a spree, it will definitely not be possible to maintain love.
During a time-out, you need to not just lie on the couch, but do something useful for yourself: sports, entertainment, self-development, learning something new. You should receive only positive emotions at this time.

And most importantly: the break should not be longer than 20 days. Psychologists are sure that over a longer period, people begin to become unaccustomed to each other, and they may not want to return to their old relationship.

Is it worth taking a break in a relationship?

Does it make sense to take a break in a relationship? Yes, if there is a good reason for it and you need time to think about it.

Misunderstanding

When there is no good reason for quarrels, but you feel discomfort, you can stop the relationship. There is no need to “shout” about this to your partner - this should be your inner state. Warn that you are going to your parents, to the country, on a business trip (act according to the situation) and be left alone for 2-3 days. Answer calls and texts, but if you want complete immersion, say you are busy and will contact you as soon as you have time. Write down on paper everything that worries you, reasons and solutions. If the situation can be corrected, return as if nothing had happened and tell your significant other what you want to change in the relationship.

Oversaturation

When couples or spouses spend too much time together, oversaturation sets in. Personal and family boundaries cease to have boundaries. At home, on a walk, on the weekends, you are always with your partner. Temporary separation or differentiation between family and personal time will be useful in this situation. If you are a woman on maternity leave, find time to forget about business, leave the children with your husband and spend a few hours chatting with girlfriends, shopping or going for a walk. Working women should also not forget about themselves. To do this, you need to learn how to plan in order to properly distribute time between yourself, family and work.

A crisis

A pause in a relationship after a quarrel that borders on a breakup can be salvation or the last straw. In the first option, a pause will help get rid of emotions and give the calm necessary for a conversation. In the second, completely “remove” the feeling of closeness and attachment. Before making a decision, assess the situation, whether a pause will be the final destroyer or, on the contrary, will help you survive the situation.

If you decide to make an offer or ask for a break yourself, consider the rules:

Do not delay the “break” for more than a month.
You can take a break for more than 2-3 days only after talking with your partner.
Agree that this is not a breakup, but a time for reflection.
Set an exact time for reflection and then discuss further actions.
Do not make new connections with men during this time.
Take a break from relationships and observe your feelings and life without a partner.

If you decide to take a break, carefully study the rules. Failure to comply with them can lead to various consequences!

Consequences of a break in a relationship:

Final end of the relationship
Renewal of the union and transition to a new level
Alienation and the emergence of a new partner

In what cases is a break in a relationship useful?

Psychologists have compiled a list of situations in which a pause will benefit both partners. We suggest you consider it:

There is love, the partners are sure that they want to be together, but their happiness is hampered by misunderstandings. Loved ones constantly quarrel for no reason, they cannot be near each other for a long time, as they begin to “enrage each other.” In this situation, you need to run away for a while, make a list of what doesn’t suit you about your lover (both boyfriend and girlfriend). Select from this list everything you can put up with and everything that pisses you off. At the next meeting, discuss the lists you have compiled, and work together to ensure that each of you gets rid of habits and character traits that do not suit your loved one.

When a couple has been together for a long time, a relationship crisis occurs. At this time, lovers may irritate each other, get tired of being constantly nearby, it even happens that partners have nothing to talk about and do not want intimacy. Psychologists recommend going on vacation separately, or simply going to different parts of the city for a while. Everyone should relax and have fun separately from their partner.
A difficult situation. This point includes treason, betrayal, deception on the part of a loved one. People in such situations simply cannot think through decisions soberly if they are close to someone who caused them to experience emotional turmoil.
It seems that there is no love, but habit and common interests hold them together. In this case, a break in the relationship will help you understand whether it is possible for you to live without each other. Some couples find their true love in such pauses, while others understand that it is very difficult without each other.
Fear of responsibility. There are people who experience fear of responsibility when they see that a relationship is moving to a new level. For example, a girl is ready to get married, and a guy is an avid bachelor who has never imagined himself in a serious relationship before. He loves her, but is afraid to tie the knot, and a temporary break will help him figure this out.

What to do if a man asks for a break in the relationship

When a man takes a break in a relationship, a woman’s heart breaks into pieces, even if she realizes the reason for what happened. The outcome of such a decision could be many factors. Taking the initiative to change the situation will help avoid a final break after such a statement.

Discuss with your partner the reasons for the decision.
Think about what you, as a woman, can do to avoid this situation.
Ask about the presence of another “lady of the heart.”
Analyze your behavior.
Set a specific time for “thinking.”

The psychology of men is structured in such a way that they make decisions faster. Often, an offer to take a time-out in a relationship leads to the exact intention of leaving painlessly. When a man initiates, try to find out the reasons and the possibility of returning the old relationship. If you feel that a person has long ago decided everything for himself, do not be consoled by his return. Make it clear that he is a close person to you, but you do not want you or him to waste your time. If he probably decided to dot the i's, let him admit it honestly, or does it make sense to come to a compromise here and now!

Why do you want to take a break?

A romantic partnership goes through various periods of development. At the beginning of the journey, lovers demonstrate their feelings, get used to each other, and get used to their habits. When the first euphoria of falling in love wears off, a crisis usually occurs in the couple. They become overwhelmed by everyday life, conflicts become more frequent, and irritation and dissatisfaction with their other half arises. Following this, an irresistible desire to leave appears.

Common reasons

Experts in the field of psychology associate a pause in the relationship between a woman and a man with several reasons common to both sexes.

Uncertainty about your partner. Lack of support from the other half, inconstancy and flighty character do not contribute to strengthening love ties, but on the contrary, make you think about their expediency.
Feelings for another person. One of the partners may want a break if they are attracted to another potential life partner.
Lack of romance. The loss of ardor and tenderness in feelings makes you want to end the affair. Quite often, everyday life “eats up” all the romance, forcing the guy and the girl to move away from each other.
Treason. More than 70% of couples decide to immediately break off the union after adultery, especially if the woman cheated. The rest need time to accept the situation and draw up a further plan of action.
Constant quarrels and stress. If a husband and wife often quarrel, their conflicts drag on for a long time, and neither of them makes compromises, then they really need a break.

Women's Initiative

If a girl takes a break from a relationship, it means there are serious reasons for it. Representatives of the fair sex are much more sensitive than men; they quickly understand when relationships need a shake-up and when there is no point in fighting for a hopeless partnership.

Before taking a break, the young lady usually thinks for a long time and observes the behavior of her lover, and having made a decision, she carefully prepares for a serious conversation. Having chosen the right moment and chosen the words, the girl reasonably and without hesitation explains to her life partner what exactly does not suit her and insists on a temporary separation.

If a girl asks for a break, what should a man do? You should not blame or reproach your partner. Discuss specific deadlines for making a final decision and let him be alone.

The man asked for a break

Usually it is the guy who initiates a break in the relationship. It is more difficult for representatives of the fairer sex to decide to break up; they strive to maintain the union and solve problems, rather than hide from them. Did the man take a break? In most cases, this means that he wants to take a break from women’s reproaches, whims and hysterics. If a man takes a break, perhaps the relationship with his partner has exhausted itself. He wants a final break, but is afraid of hurting a woman’s heart.

Is it worth ending the relationship?

If a girl or guy wants to take a break, is there any hope that this decision will lead to positive changes? Whether it is worth taking a break is a purely individual question. People with emotional dependence on a partner will suffer and suffer due to forced separation, sometimes perceiving it as a betrayal. Others may separate and not remember their loved one for the entire period of separation.

Psychologists recommend taking a break only when it makes sense. In certain situations, pausing can actually be beneficial.

During separation, both should think about the prospects of the union. Are you ready to give your partner temporary freedom or do you think that there are no breaks in love? For some couples, breaking up for a while allows them to understand how dear they are to each other, for others it allows them to calmly make the decision to break up and prepare for it mentally.