Psychology, how to behave with subordinates. Psychology of leader and subordinate

Subordinates do not perceive him as a boss. If your subordinates criticize you. Advice to the manager

Surveys have shown that more than 80% of managers are anxious about criticism from subordinates. Some people believe that employees are incapable of constructive criticism, and criticism is not a pleasant thing. Some people are ready to listen to comments only from the lips of a professional they respect. Even very careful and competent criticism hurts our pride.

But if your regular employee decides to criticize you, what can you do about it? How to react?

First of all, rejoice - it means he cares! It also means that your management style gives employees the opportunity to voice their opinions. After all, employees are usually afraid of the wrath of their superiors and do not risk saying what they think, especially directly.
Secondly, rejoice - you can gain invaluable information if you behave correctly. It is known: the one who does nothing makes no mistakes. And, if everything was really bad, they wouldn’t criticize you, they would simply leave you.

Psychologists call constructive criticism a “gift,” and this is no coincidence.

One of the traits of a mature personality and a strong manager is the ability to respond correctly to criticism and extract the maximum benefit from it.

“Separate the flies from the cutlets.” Deal with emotions - yours and your opponent's

Often we react not to the content of criticism, but to its form. An employee may be overly emotional and speak harshly. He may be upset or anxious, and even frightened by your actions or the situation in the organization.

Your critic may tell you about a serious situation in the company, about those mistakes that prevent you from setting up effective work, and only your emotions can prevent you from hearing and finding a constructive grain in his words.

There is one secret: in order not to get fixated on your own emotions, and not to “fall” into accusations and excuses, try to focus on what your employee says and feels.

Rise above the situation, observe, study, conduct your “independent investigation”.

It is important for you to know:

the employee’s understanding of the situation (did your actions really influence it, or is it a system error),
his interests (perhaps the employee has career ambitions, or some unfulfilled expectations, and his excessive emotionality is associated with disappointment),
his concerns (very often employees cannot understand the reasons and source of their stress. Often the critic simply comes for help and support. Sometimes it is enough just to tell the employee a little more about the work or to reassure him, showing that the situation is under control.),
is he the only employee dissatisfied with the situation,
How long has this discontent been brewing?

You can ask the employee to formulate his criticism in writing. Writing will help structure your thoughts.

If you can’t write, ask the employee in more detail about what worries him. Try to be objective, do not react to emotions, do not threaten, otherwise your critic will withdraw.

It is important to understand that this is the picture that the employee sees, it is incomplete, because... the employee does not know what you, as the boss, know. And subjective. But very important for you. You are now studying the situation in your company to understand how deep and systemic the problem is.

What you definitely shouldn't do:

respond to criticism with criticism (from the position of “the fool himself”),
make excuses (don’t lose your authority as a leader).

Find constructive
The employee has a lot of energy - let's direct it in the right direction. Perhaps he has ideas and even strength to make the work more efficient.

The critic is unhappy. What suggestions does he have? Ask questions and give time to think about what can be done about the situation.

Even if your subordinate cannot offer you his solution, you have already won, several times: you found out what was happening in the company and relieved the initial tension that threatened conflict.

"Boss. Friend or foe? Chapter Seven - 10 (Leader-Subordinate Etiquette)

10. Etiquette “Leader - Subordinate”

REFERENCE:
Hierarchy is the order of subordination of lower positions, ranks, titles, categories and higher ones according to precisely defined degrees.

Subordinate:

1. Subordination

Subordination reflects the real distribution of powers and responsibilities of the organization's employees. In addition, its observance does not allow relationships to take on a close, familiar or campaigning nature, which does not have a very good effect on work results. Hierarchical relationships in an organization require compliance with a number of specific rules:

first of all, all work colleagues without exception should be addressed as “you”;
upon meeting, a verbal greeting is made by a subordinate, and a superior official offers his hand - if he deems it necessary;
In the manager's office, a subordinate does not sit down without the boss's invitation.

2. Knock on the door.

It is generally accepted that there is no need to knock on the door of the manager's office before entering. And it is right! You can knock as much as you like at the doctor’s office for an appointment for which you have an appointment, and even more so if you have not made an appointment, because this is a public place and there may be other patients there in a very unsightly form. In this case, your relationship with the doctor is a service - demand and he, that is, the doctor must provide it to you. Moreover, now almost all clinics have a “lit lamp” function, when the “enter” or “do not enter” signal is on.

But with your immediate management, you have a different relationship - order - execution, therefore it is most accurate and easiest if the secretary introduces you and takes you to the boss, even if you are solving the problem in a working manner. Most managers do not like knocking and believe that this behavior is based on the subordinate’s lack of confidence in what the manager is doing at the moment.

3. To get up or not to get up.

You need to stand up in the presence of a manager in three cases:

the manager has the habit of visiting his subordinates once a day to wish them good morning;
the manager goes around the departments and introduces himself to the employees as their new boss;
the leader enters with the guest or delegation.

If your manager constantly comes to see you during the working day, you should not jump up from your seat every time. It’s a different matter when a manager or your colleague is forced to stand in front of you, discussing some issue, you should stand up here.

4. Calm, only calm!

The subordinate should also not emotionally express his dissatisfaction with the boss. If you believe that you have been treated unfairly, you must calmly and reasonably state this.

Supervisor:

should not bore his subordinates with petty control: he should have an idea of who is capable of what.
must inform subordinates about the organization's strategy and management's long-term plans - within acceptable limits, of course.
should reward those who do good work. If it is not possible to give a cash bonus, you need to encourage with a word: a person has the right to know that his efforts have been noticed. An employee is unlikely to leave an organization where this condition is met, even if he is offered a higher salary elsewhere.
must make comments. This, one might say, is his responsibility: after all, the one who works carelessly and does not receive comments eventually relaxes.

Leaders: chiefs, directors, chiefs, bosses, bigwigs...

They take care of us and patronize us, they are our guides in difficult corporate life and defenders of our interests. We are the first to recognize them in an organization, an enterprise, they supervise and look after us throughout our working days, they hire us and release us, we come to them with our problems.

But when we are asked to evaluate the quality and effectiveness of their work, the majority do not hesitate to rate it “poor” or, at best, “satisfactory”? Why is this happening? What prevents a subordinate and a manager from understanding each other? How often do managers see an employee as an individual and not as a staff member? How often are they ready to communicate with you as a human being, and not formally, hiding behind orders and instructions? How often are we ready to understand that the boss is also up to his neck with work and, without being offended or snorting, to come later, to follow the necessary procedures, and not to break into an open door? Are we able to understand that we are so wonderful and unique that the director has a whole enterprise?

"Do you respect me?"

The most valuable asset of any company is a dedicated and grateful employee, regardless of his rank. The task of the manager in such a situation is to build a trusting and mutually respectful relationship with each employee. It is necessary to emphasize that all workers, regardless of their career status, are one big and friendly family. This is the only way to achieve a normal attitude based on rational behavior and thinking.

The quality of work, the style of behavior that the manager introduces not only to himself, but also to all other employees, affects the psyche. Thus, even the most naughty one tries to kindly answer questions asked of him and treat his colleagues with respect. The reason for this change on his part is the good example in the person of the leader himself. The boss must constantly and always show trust in all his employees with calculation. This creates an atmosphere of mutual trust, which is necessary for fruitful work.

«Let's take an example"

Looking at how management copes with the assigned tasks, subordinate employees begin to feel the same way about the work they perform. To avoid problems and misunderstandings, management representatives need to treat their work with increased responsibility, because they are under the constant supervision of their subordinates, for whom they are the first role model.

“Are you my friend or not?”

There are some advantages to being friends with management:

"protected rear" The boss knows that he has someone to rely on and count on, and a subordinate can always take advantage of additional support and special treatment - his opinion will be listened to, his idea will be supported.
exchange of confidential information, at any time – working or non-working – time. At the same time, you don’t have to be afraid of information leakage to the outside. In addition, a friend can become the “ears and eyes” of the boss and honestly talk about the current state of affairs in the team, as well as convey information to other employees in the form the boss needs.
Friendship at work has a beneficial effect not only on the emotional state of employees, but also on the effectiveness of their work.
informal relationships give the work process a family atmosphere.

Disadvantages of being friends with management:

It’s harder to get a friend to do the job properly and even harder to fire him.
Between friends who are at too different levels of the career ladder, misunderstanding and awkwardness often arise: one is embarrassed to demand, the other is embarrassed to obey.
Both sides can suffer from manipulation in such a relationship: a friend-subordinate can be asked to work on a day off, saddle him with the most unpleasant work, force him to clean up the consequences of his own mistakes; a friend-boss can be shamelessly exploited, using his connections and resources to build his career.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with being on both sides of the barricades, the main thing is to be able to understand and respect each other!

Good luck! Next eighth article “Accounting”

"Boss. Friend or foe? Chapter Seven - 9 (How to change the CEO)

How to put a subordinate in his place. How to put an arrogant leader in his place?

Calmness. Don't get emotional. In an excited state, you are easier to manipulate. Start preparing for the conversation in advance. Take a couple of minutes, close your eyes. Breathe evenly: inhale deeply and exhale slowly. Repeat several times. Don't stress yourself out before the conversation. Stay calm, even, try not to show emotions. Calmness in response to aggression will moderate the boss’s ardor.

Politeness . When a manager is rude, ask him to justify the reasons for the behavior. Speak in a cold, reserved tone, politely. Show that you are well-mannered. Uncultured behavior is a sign of low intellectual development. You are above rudeness. There is no place for unprofessional communication in business ethics. Politeness and restraint are a sign of courage. Controlling your emotions means conquering your fears. Having mastered yourself, you become an uninteresting toy for a sadistic boss or an actor.

Conversation face to face. Public attacks on superiors are fraught with unpleasant consequences. To avoid them, choose a place and time to talk to your boss alone. Try to find out what doesn't suit him about your work. Take a piece of paper, a pen and write down. If any of the above is not true, ask again. By forcing your boss to repeat a lie, you emphasize the illegality and incorrectness of his actions, awakening his conscience.

If the boss is a tyrant, during a personal conversation you can make an attempt to hurt his ego. In this case, there are 2 nuances:

Self-doubt and natural timidity will prevent you from winning a collision. Outcome: tyranny will become harsher.
You risk going too far. Your relationship with your boss will deteriorate completely, and your job will be in doubt.

During a conversation, do not let them wipe their feet on themselves, show your inner core and confidence. Don't give in to provocations. If during a conversation your boss attacks you and engages you in an altercation, imagine yourself under the protection of a glass dome. You are inside, and the boss is outside. His rough and aggressive attacks are reflected from the glass surface without touching you. While you are fantasizing, the boss will cool down. Start speaking when the boss has let off steam and finished his tirade. Don’t interrupt or try to outshout your boss, as you will make the situation worse.

Ignoring. Suitable for interaction with bosses who show aggression inconsistently: a creep, a slob, a mother-director. In their case, negative attacks have a specific reason. Bosses are people too and they have their weaknesses. The feeling of increased responsibility, almost paternal love for the team, forces the father-boss to go beyond business communication. The slob is aggressive in the event of major failures. A creepy boss behaves inappropriately after a shake-up from senior management. It’s easier to survive such attacks by immersing yourself in work, trying not to pay attention to the raging management.

Nonverbal techniques. With dictatorial leaders, methods of verbal influence are powerless. You can convey your dissatisfaction to an authoritarian leader using gestures, facial expressions, glances, and intonation. This method is suitable for employees who especially value their workplace. By influencing the subconscious, you will avoid direct confrontation and bypass conflict situations.

They told me how to behave as a boss. How to behave as a new leader

Of course, managers are not chosen and, if you are assigned to them, the employees under your command are obliged to follow your instructions. But the effectiveness of the work of the entrusted unit largely depends on how much authority you will be for them, on your relationships.

Instructions

Be sure, after you are introduced to your employees by the management of the enterprise or the head of the personnel department, hold a general meeting with the team. Briefly tell us about yourself and your work experience. In addition, it is necessary to immediately express those requirements, the fulfillment of which must be mandatory; this mainly concerns issues of discipline and responsibility. The fact that everyone at their workplace must work conscientiously is taken for granted and is not subject to discussion.

At first, you should not make sudden castlings and changes. Look around and get to grips with the matter. Contact your deputy for help, and do not hesitate to ask clarifying questions to your employees. There is nothing wrong with not knowing some of the details. The desire to understand the essence of the matter will not affect your authority in any way, but it can strengthen it.

If there are experienced professionals among your subordinates, you should not try to compensate for the lack of experience and professional knowledge with a rigid, authoritarian manner of behavior. Make them your allies, not your enemies. Of course, it is more pleasant to communicate with flatterers and sycophants, but do not replace them with quarrelsome specialists who have their own opinions. In the case when you really want to establish effective work, and not a comfortable existence for yourself, treat them with respect and, when making decisions, ask them to speak out. This is especially necessary at first, so as not to make any mistakes.

Learn, delve into all the intricacies of the department’s work, study not only the technology, but also the team, the connections that have already been established and exist in it. You can then choose the most effective, authoritarian method of leadership, but this should not happen until you are confident in your abilities and knowledge. Using it for the first time, without knowing all the intricacies, is simply stupid. They will laugh at you behind your back, and you are unlikely to succeed if your subordinates do not believe in your competence.

While asking strictly, demanding strict adherence to labor discipline, you, however, should not be just a commander for your employees who is not interested in people’s problems. Make it so that people can turn to you for help, make concessions in cases where it is necessary. Talk to each employee separately, tell them that you count on their experience and knowledge. This will make them want to work and they will try not to let you down.

Manager and subordinate

How to lead a leader?

It is accepted that a manager takes responsibility for teaching specific behavior to people in the workplace.
This comes from the very function of a leader - one must lead, which means the “hands” that must be “led” must move in a special way. Which one? Naturally, the way the leader himself wants. Psychology of personnel management. Manager and subordinate

Management psychology provides answers to almost any manager’s questions about how to manage people. Various theories come to help, for example, the theory of learning behavior, which explains that with the correct construction of the interaction between a leader and a subordinate, using certain types of learning, such as reflexive behavior, learning based on the consequences of behavior and in the process of observing the behavior of other people, using various compensation, the behavior of any employee can be brought to what is desired and approved by the manager.

The literature on management is filled with technologies for influencing subordinates, training the manager on the basis of an individual approach or managing group consciousness to bring the entire team to the level of discipline that is necessary for a particular manager, without considering the very personality of this manager, who is a priori recognized as highly moral, highly professional, and psychologically savvy for this purpose. , in order to influence the behavior of his subordinates, since fate has endowed him with power over people.

We will be interested in another question: can subordinates lead their leader? If they cannot, then for what reason? If they can, how is this done?

Let's answer the first question: are there any reasons that a subordinate does not even make attempts to influence his manager in order to change his behavior in the direction desired by the subordinate. And we find several such reasons.

Banal laziness. Talk to some of your colleagues who are “crying” on the sidelines about how ugly the leader is acting in this or that situation. To the question: “Why don’t you react (don’t be indignant, don’t defend yourself, don’t agree, don’t try to change the situation)?” you will immediately hear the answer: “Yes, I just don’t want to get involved!” In this sentence, the emphasis is on the word “not willing,” which explains that the subordinate is not going to change himself, and will not react to the behavior of an “unfair” leader. As a result, day after day your colleague plays the same game “everything flows and nothing changes”
Fear. Many of your colleagues are stopped by the fear that if they somehow react to, in their opinion, the manager’s misbehavior, they will thereby bring upon themselves an even more negative reaction from the boss. Everyone understands everything, but remains silent, making absolutely no attempts to change the leader’s behavior. And the more tacit consent on the part of the subordinate, the more negative the leader’s behavior. The result is an ever-increasing fear in the subordinate, preventing him from looking soberly at the cause of this fear.
The "excellent student" complex. The essence of this complex is that the employee always tries to be as efficient and diligent as possible, bringing his work to the ideal, redoing it many times, even if this is not required. But the anxiety of the performer is used by the leader - they begin to scold, punish, criticize the subordinate. Such behavior on the part of the manager is perceived by the subordinate as unfair; he suffers, becoming even more complex. Tell your colleague: “Well, do at least something to change the manager’s reaction to your efforts!” and you will hear in response: “It’s my own fault, they’re right to scold me!”
Routine. She makes her subordinates disappear at work, thinking only about the volume and quality of work done. The manager does not burden himself with thoughts about when his subordinate sleeps, whether he goes home, and in general, when he last had lunch - new folders with tasks are laid out on the table. Does your colleague like this leadership behavior? Of course, this is annoying, but there is no time to think about how you can somehow change the situation, because there is so much to do...
There is also a set of corporate rules and regulations that dictate to subordinates some type of behavior controlled by the manager. The boss himself, due to his status, can afford to violate these rules, but does not allow his subordinates to go free. In such a situation, your colleagues do not try to change anything in the behavior of their leader due to the fact that since the rules “exist”, then they must be followed.
Let's put an ellipsis, because there are still many reasons why subordinates do not even try to change the behavior of their leader...

Now let's answer the second question: if it is possible for a subordinate to influence the behavior of his manager, then how to do this? First you need to understand a few rules:

The first thing - the most important thing - is to realize that a leader is also a person, which means that he can also be taught a certain type of behavior.
Remember the slogan “Study, study and study!” and read special literature on psychology, because you, dear subordinate, have to influence a person, and what kind of person!
From a variety of technologies, techniques, methods, methods, choose at least one that is most suitable for both the subordinate himself (his personal characteristics) and the managed leader. Maximum individual approach - only then will you achieve success!

And now some advice from a psychologist, using which a subordinate can influence the leader’s behavior.

“If you want your boss to always remember you, hang your portrait in his office.” This is not a joke, but advice to try to be as visible as possible to your boss, wherever he is and wherever he goes. It is necessary to find as many reasons as possible for which a subordinate must communicate with the manager. Come to consult, report on what you have done, ask for an assignment, convey someone else’s request, help or even replace the leader in something, etc. But all this must be done without excessive intrusiveness. And quickly disappear... With this technique, you will develop in the manager the need to contact you first; he will think about you at the moment when you are not there, which means he will call you for a conversation more often than others.
Bring your boss only good news. Let your image be associated with positive emotions. This will teach your manager to smile when he sees you.
At meetings, be in the supervisor's line of sight. Don’t be silent, discuss, argue, agree, offer solutions, give arguments against, etc. Your activity will bear fruit - the manager will learn to listen to other people’s opinions.
Regardless of whether you expect reward or punishment, get ahead of things. Approach your boss first and honestly say, “I did a good job and deserve your praise, right?” or “I repent, I’m guilty, I’ll correct myself. I will accept any punishment, I hope for your prudence, am I right?” Please note that at the end of the sentence you say a word that cannot be answered in the negative. (Options: Isn’t it so? So? You think so too? Isn’t it so?) The sincerity of your behavior will teach the leader to be patient, humane, not to cut from the shoulder, and even more often to think about encouraging his subordinates, at least with a kind word, you and Do you agree with me?
Always say hello first. Any manager is pleased that a subordinate appreciates his status and shows respect. But at the same time, he himself learns to greet you, and not pass by silently. It is impossible not to respond to a subordinate who, looking straight into his eyes, says loudly in front of everyone: “Good afternoon, Maria Ivanovna!” In a few days, try to pass by without saying hello, you will see what happens...
Make it a rule to be the last to enter collective meetings, so that immediately after your arrival the manager is forced to start a meeting (teachers' council, planning meeting). After a certain period of time, you will notice that your arrival will be a signal for management to start without waiting for others, and this is an already formed conditioned reflex to your person. But when for some reason you are forced to be late, this will be perceived as anxiety addressed to you, but not anger at the latecomer.
When distributing tasks, be the first to say: “Let me take on this amount of work!” This way, you'll be able to take on an assignment that you're likely to do well (and earn praise) and avoid an assignment you don't want to do (and get blamed). Such activity will reinforce in the boss’s mind the idea that any task that is entrusted to you will always be completed at a high level, and there is no need to persuade or force you. But if you have to refuse an extra assignment (it’s late, you want to go home), your manager will already be taught the necessary behavior under the motto: “The main thing is to stop on time!”
Let’s put an ellipsis here too, and supplement the previous rule with the words: “Even if you are going to speak for three hours, start your speech with the words “I’ll be brief!”

The wisdom of a subordinate in managing the behavior of his leader is a direct path to a long and successful professional life in the organization.

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