Psychological pressure

Photo: pressmaster/photogenica.ru In life, we often encounter the use of “forbidden techniques” regarding our personality. They do not allow us to fully assess the situation and confuse us. As a result of their actions, we allow other people to sit on our necks, enter into unfavorable contracts and make inadequate promises. All this is a consequence of the psychological pressure exerted on us.

Often, none of the participants in the communication process is aware of what is happening. People who use “forbidden techniques” do it unconsciously, and even more so, it is not monitored by the “victim”. If this situation is painfully familiar to you, then you are probably already tired of it.

Guilt

How manipulators love to use it! The feeling of guilt that arises is an excellent reason to get what is needed from you. We feel guilty for many things: for the manner of communication, lack of attention to other people, our lifestyle, our desires, etc. Usually, if you often experience such a state, this may indicate a special personality structure.

The same event can be perceived by partners in completely different ways. Manipulators often use this.

To resist psychological pressure using guilt, you should understand one thing: you have the right to be yourself, to have your own desires and boundaries. That is, you practically owe nothing to anyone. Separate the wheat from the chaff: outline for yourself the range of obligations that you voluntarily undertake (caring for a child or parents, time devoted to friends, a little help for colleagues) and their limits. Then it will be easier to focus on them when someone else tries to get the behavior they need from you.

You can, of course, play along with the manipulator a little, but only so that he calms down and does not increase the pressure. Tell the other person “no.” This is the most effective way to disown what is being imposed on you. Avoid explanations altogether - they give the manipulator a hook to latch onto. Don’t forget to track at what moments your feelings of guilt turn on - most likely, they will be associated with your personal weaknesses.

Moral pressure on a person

And now I will tell you where and how my hell began. He left a week before my 35th birthday. When he left, he said a lot of nasty things. He stated that I did not let him take care of the children. But who didn’t, I only dreamed about it! Then he took her, our children and his mother to our dacha. This is how they spent the night there. I will never forget this night. I screamed at the whole apartment. Then he began to take the children to his new home with her. They rented an apartment. He gave money right away. He came into our house whenever he pleased. I drank, ate, went to the toilet, worked on the computer. At that time I was lying in a ball and dying quietly. My appearance amused him. He talked about the division of property, about how he would go with the children for the New Year holidays and relax with his new companion. He came whenever he wanted and felt like a king. I would also like to say that there were no one close to me. My mother, my dearest and closest person, to whom I trusted everything... My mother told me this: “It was you who ruined everything. You ruined the life of me, yourself and your children.” That's all here! Everyone I loved and valued, everyone turned away and betrayed me: my mother-in-law, my husband, my mother. My mother, of course, later apologized and defended me. But that was later, after the betrayal.

I know that I made a lot of mistakes myself. I know that I shouldn’t have allowed myself to be treated like that. I know that in response to his actions I offended him and mirrored him with words and actions. Both my actions and my husband’s actions led to divorce. It seems to me that I have tried everything: pleasing, submissiveness, and bitchiness. But most of all I want to return him to his family now. No matter what, I believe in us. I believe that I am very dear to him. I believe that he will see the light and understand how dear he is to me and the children. As needed.

26 Jan 2020 etolaw 446

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Moral Suppression

A method often used by aggressive, personally defective people. They cannot solve their problems in an adult way and begin to actively humiliate those with whom they communicate. This is manifested in belittling social status, blows to pride, switching attention from important details to subjective ones, and the use of rhetorical questions.

In practice, such a strategy may look different. For example, a mother shouting at her child: “Do you even know what you’re doing! How can you be such an idiot! Or important negotiations during which your opponent makes a remark about a stain on your clothes. A man who makes fun of his partner's fatness. The mechanism of operation is quite simple: our attention is focused on our own inferiority, we cease to adequately monitor the situation, and we feel the desire to somehow “butter up” our interlocutor.

First you need to think about why a person is telling you such things. You can ask him directly: “For what purpose did you voice this?” It is likely that he will not find anything to answer you, or will start saying all sorts of nonsense. When it becomes obvious to you that this is a type of psychological pressure, pull yourself together and say: “He is doing this on purpose in order to get something from me. Therefore, the issue is not my inferiority, but my partner’s inability to discuss his needs honestly and in an adult way. I will not be upset by his words, but will concentrate my attention on the thing that is important to me at this moment.”

Causes

The object of envy of the mobber and his minions can be anything: expensive outfits, youth, professional success, a new position, the marital status of the victim, the loyal attitude of management towards her.

The instigators of bullying may harass a colleague out of idleness. This way they get rid of negative emotions and enjoy the process itself.

Competition in the workplace, high staff turnover, and the desire for revenge are also common reasons. In this way, mobbers make their way to promotion, satisfy unsatisfied ambitions, or achieve the dismissal of an employee with whom they once had a conflict.

We rarely come across this method in everyday life. Collection agencies, unscrupulous lawyers, and bandits resort to it. Massive psychological pressure occurs when they begin to influence you using various “strings”: they call your friends, relatives and acquaintances, find out what you are doing, disrupt negotiations or some plans.

People around you are worried and constantly talk about these threats to you. It is worth reassuring them by explaining the situation. You need to try to do everything in your power to stop these actions: contact creditors or make a life-changing decision for someone. In any case, it is worth conveying to bad people the fact that their actions only make you angry and provoke you to take actions opposite to what they expected.

Reducing the distance can also be an element of psychological pressure. Each of us has our own personal space, which we try to protect from strangers. If a person's goal is to confuse you and make you think chaotically, then you can't think of a better way. The solution is very simple - define your boundaries, move away from the person to a safe distance, letting him understand that shortening the distance risks ending the dialogue.

How to resist psychological pressure

If you notice that someone is putting psychological pressure on you, then you should remember that manipulators resort to such measures for a reason. Often these people are not able to bear the burden of their psychological problems and cannot withstand stress. They try to shift responsibility from themselves to strangers in order to feel comfortable.

There may be several reasons for this behavior:

a model of upbringing in a family in which everyone encourages the child’s infantilism;
sharply negative memories of a difficult childhood and more.

The first thing you need to do to resist psychological pressure is to give a straightforward rebuff. The victim must calmly and directly inform the manipulator that his demands will not be met because they have a selfish goal. This will confuse some people and the situation will be over. But especially sophisticated people can continue their actions, this time in a more sophisticated way. And among the victims there may be those who do not know how to openly resist someone; such a conversation can increase their feelings of guilt and make them become even more bogged down in the situation.

Distortion of information

It is much easier to make a wise decision if you have all the information you can. If someone is more interested in one outcome than another, they will misrepresent the information. This can be expressed in concealing some facts, focusing your attention on others. Focusing on specific details rather than on the overall main problem works the same way. Then there is a very high probability that such a reorientation will lead you to a strictly defined decision, which is what the interlocutor intended.

Some tend to use all kinds of rumors, gossip and speculation as decisive arguments. For example, your friend tells you: “Why do you need to breastfeed your baby after six months? There’s nothing healthy left in the milk anyway!” Moreover, she herself immediately after birth switched the child to artificial feeding, and if you do the same, she will not have a feeling of guilt. In an attempt to pressure you, she uses a well-known myth about breastfeeding that can really influence your decision.

But there are situations in which there are no clear and obvious boundaries. Most often this concerns relationships between people. Human behavior is determined by many reasons, and in trying to understand them, we often turn to the advice of our friends. For example, you had a fight with a guy and he doesn’t answer the phone. These actions can be interpreted in different ways, but the friend says: “What are you talking about! If he doesn’t love you, leave him!” It's quite easy to fall for this.

The way out in this situation is simple, but labor-intensive - to be attentive and critical to the information provided to you. Try to double-check the facts that those around you present to you under the guise of truisms - they are full of myths and misconceptions. In difficult situations, try to listen to the opinions of experts: doctors, lawyers, psychologists, etc. And most importantly, try to rely on yourself and your opinion, because this is the only way you can live on your own, and not according to someone else’s orders.

Get ready for equal communication

Often a person who holds a significant position is perceived as a strict parent who can “execute” or “pardon” on business or just according to the mood. But there is no law that would place one negotiator lower or higher than another, except for the fears of one of them or stereotypes accepted in society. So first, put yourself on the same level as your interlocutor.

Tatyana Kabluchkova, analytical psychologist, member of the Ural Association of Analytical Psychology and Psychoanalysis, leading specialist at the Center for the Development of Depth Psychology

Separate the chair and the person sitting on it

It is the chair, that is, the position of your interlocutor, that may be higher than yours. But the person sitting in it is the same as you - with his own strengths, weaknesses and personal history, which can be quite difficult if he has to rely on a position to feel important. Both he and you simply perform your functions in the system according to your capabilities and abilities. Understanding your own value and common cause with your interlocutor promotes constructive dialogue instead of teenage determination of which of you is higher than the other in life.

“In karate, the hierarchy extends only to sporting achievements and age,” explains Dojo Karate Kyokushinkai instructor Andrei Shunin. — A simple waiter can be held in high esteem for his technical skills, while a tough top manager can get push-ups on his fists for a poorly performed exercise. Apprenticeship, humility, a lot of handshakes, bows, gestures, gratitude, mutual assistance and mutual respect knock down aplomb and imaginary status.

Imagine your interlocutor on the tatami, remember how karate competitions take place: the competitors go barefoot in identical white kimonos. The only difference between them is the color of the belt, from white to black, the role of which in negotiations is played by experience, knowledge and self-confidence.

Effect on thinking, perception and memory

The psyche and its basis - the nervous system - ladies are very capricious. Their functioning is influenced by a lot of things - from environmental parameters to your mood, which sometimes all sorts of unscrupulous manipulators try to take advantage of. For example, gypsies. They overload all channels of perception with various signals - they make noise, shake their colored skirts, touch - and you fall into a trance. As a result of this, there is a risk of being left without money, gold jewelry and other valuables - it’s good if you don’t let them into the apartment! It’s not easy to resist this, but there is a way out: run as fast as you can if you feel this method being applied to yourself.

The moment when you are in a hurry or feel tired is by no means ideal for making significant decisions. If at this time someone is trying to push important papers for you to sign or demands some promises from you, feel free to ask him for a delay and explain that you will consider this issue in more suitable conditions. The same applies to noise, bustle, stuffiness and other unpleasant surroundings.

Direct threats

As a rule, they are used when everything else fails, and a person needs to achieve his goal. Typically, situations using this method are related to finance or power. Sometimes this may be evidence that the person is on his last legs and is ready to do anything to come to an agreement with you. A sort of “cornered rat.” Whether you compromise with him or not is up to you.

In any case, you should try to resolve the conflict as peacefully as possible, even if you heard a direct threat addressed to you. Try to discuss what you heard with someone who is above the situation and is able to think soberly. It is possible that, upon closer examination, the threat is not worth a damn. And it is possible that pressure may actually be put on you. In this case, it’s up to you to decide whether to stand your ground completely, attracting all possible resources, or give up on it and make concessions. However, remember that those who have succumbed to threats at least once are likely to continue to be threatened in the future.

Put on a black belt

Prepare for negotiations - be in your best expert form. For example, study in detail the new version of the law or analyze judicial practice on this issue. When communicating with officials, it is important to know your rights and be able to demonstrate this knowledge.

Make a list of uncomfortable questions, think about how you will answer them. If there is enough time, rehearse, try to speak convincingly, referring to the regulatory framework. Ask someone close to you to play the role of your opponent. Take a cheat sheet with you to negotiations on paper or on your smartphone; in a stressful situation, your memory may fail.

Andrey Shunin, instructor at Dojo Karate Kyokushinkai (Moscow)

Karate in communications

Sports sparring is projected onto negotiations. When you have practiced the ability not to show emotions hundreds of times on the tatami, so that not a single muscle flinches, and you are able to withstand difficult times. When you know how to overcome fatigue or pain, overcome fear and confront several opponents at the same time. When you know how to turn a position in your direction or vice versa - refuse “communication”. When you can save face and get out of any situation with dignity.

Compulsion

They resort to it only when there is some kind of force, otherwise no one will succumb. Examples of such power can be physical qualities, power, money, information. A person who is forced to do something knows about the process that is taking place - as opposed to manipulation. You can try to protect yourself from him by hinting to the “oppressor” that he is acting aggressively - some do not like to admit this. However, if this does not bother a person, then it is very difficult to resist this type of pressure.

Psychological pressure: protection against manipulation in several steps

Overcoming psychological pressure can be much easier than protecting yourself from it in time. After all, recognizing this phenomenon is sometimes very difficult; the manipulator can choose the most sophisticated types and types of actions.

Straightforwardness

You can directly state to your interlocutor’s face that he is behaving too assertively and aggressively; such behavior does not allow him to weigh everything and make a choice. Some manipulators retreat when faced with resistance, but with others you have to use other techniques.

Closed poses

Crossed arms or legs, chin down - all this reduces the degree of psychological pressure. Such poses at the subconscious level give a signal to your partner that you are not ready to cooperate and perceive information.

Mental barriers

Sometimes ordinary thoughts and images give you greater confidence in yourself and your abilities. It’s enough to imagine that there is an insurmountable barrier between you and the manipulator: an invisible wall, a deep ditch, a fiery barrier, an impenetrable dome or a spacesuit.

Distraction

To confuse your opponent, you can distract him in various ways: coughing, yawning, tapping on the table, turning pages, straightening clothes or hair. Any physical activity will attract the eye, but it is important that it looks natural and is not repeated too often.

Humiliation

Another type of psychological pressure, expressed in the aggressor’s desire to morally “crush the victim.” In this situation, you can hear a lot of unpleasant things about yourself: you are stupid, scary, clumsy, untalented, disorganized, etc. Being in a state of psychological prostration, you lose control over the situation, and at this moment it is very convenient to put pressure on you: “ Can you at least do this?” The idea is that in a sober mind, you would never agree to anything, but then personal defense mechanisms and the desire to prove your own worth come into play. By the way, this technique works solely due to self-doubt.

Stepping aside

This type of psychological pressure stands apart from all others, since its essence lies in attempts to starve you out. Simply put, when they try to put pressure on you, and you want to clarify this, the person begins to slip into unrelated topics or even goes into “sheer defense”: “What are you doing, huh?” Or asks why you always say nasty things about him. In this case, it is necessary to track the moment of leaving each time and return to the starting point: “No, we’ll deal with me later, we’re talking about you now.” If you are persistent, then there is a chance that the aggressor will lag behind you with his pressure.

Kinds

Let's immediately differentiate the concepts. Banal squabbles that happen in almost every team are not mobbing. If you were once scolded by your boss for not sending an important letter, then you are paying for your own irresponsibility. When a colleague makes a remark that you are interfering with your work by talking too loudly on the phone about personal matters, this is an attempt to stop your tactlessness.

But if every working day begins with aggression, criticism, open insults, nagging, damage to your or office property and other meanness on the part of your manager or co-workers, then there is reason to worry - mobbing has been initiated against you. It can be horizontal (pressure comes from employees); vertical (from management); mixed.

Suggestion

This is a type of psychological influence on a person, after which he begins to uncritically “swallow” information imposed on him from the outside

The person using this method must be an authority for his victim, otherwise the trick will not work. An extreme version of suggestion is hypnosis, but it can also be used in a waking state. For this, as a rule, games with voice, intonation and other semi-conscious moments are used. Paradoxically, there are people who are generally resistant to suggestion, and you are lucky if you are one of them.

About manipulation

Its essence boils down to the desire to change the behavior, worldview or perception of another person using a hidden, violent or deceptive strategy.

The interests of the manipulator are realized at the expense of the victim, which is why manipulation is considered unethical. Psychologists' views on this vary greatly. Some believe that the result of an action sometimes justifies the means. For example, when a doctor convinces a patient to start taking medication. Or the mother, wanting the child to put on a hat, asks him: “Which hat will you wear - red or blue?” - without giving him the opportunity to refuse. Others rightly believe that a person should be provided with all the information, but his freedom of choice and decision should be respected, even if it seems wrong to us.

Manipulations aimed (albeit indirectly) at realizing the interests of the “victim” are extremely rare. Usually this is still a desire to gain personal benefit at the expense of others. Manipulation is a hidden type of psychological pressure - a person does not understand either the true motives of the manipulator or the fact of influence. The gain is one-sided.

It is not easy to manipulate people - this requires a certain level of knowledge of psychology, the ability to sense other people's weak points, composure and prudence. The person who decides to do this is quite cruel and does not worry about harming the victim.

Manipulators rely on different foundations with which they manage to control human consciousness. Needs and desires have been used since ancient times to influence a person psychologically. Take, for example, the well-known Russian passion for freebies - the desire to get the maximum winnings while spending less. This is how many scammers got rich.

Each of us in life is guided by certain ideals and values, which include ideas about good and evil, what is right and wrong, etc.... So, based on them, it is quite easy for another person to manipulate us. For example, giving alms to a beggar seems to be a manifestation of kindness and compassion, although it has long been known that most such donations go into the pockets of the scammers behind it.

Intelligence and logic can also be manipulated. For example, using complex and long diagrams, laying out numerous numbers and cause-and-effect relationships. This is often used by network marketing professionals who encourage you to join their cause: “Invest just three pennies and get huge profits from the following sources...”. As a rule, this scheme contains several logical errors, due to which you see the result that is beneficial to the manipulator.

It is very convenient to manipulate a person’s irrational ideas. These include beliefs and beliefs that are divorced from objective reality, which are formed during a person’s life and which are very difficult to change from the outside. There are plenty of them in the minds of each of us, for example:

I have to take responsibility for everything.
If you are asked for something, then you must help.
I should always sympathize and help other people.
Any service requires gratitude.
Everyone around me should love me.

It is enough for the manipulator to “press” on one of these “sore calluses”, and the person turns into an almost trouble-free creature. Moreover, the power of these attitudes is enormous, and thanks to them, almost any unpleasant and inconvenient actions can be achieved from us.

Well, the most fertile ground for manipulation is our feelings and emotions. When someone makes you emotional, it is very easy to use this for your own selfish purposes. Women manipulate men, men manipulate women, parents manipulate children, and vice versa. For example: “You love me and won’t allow me to travel on public transport.” And this can continue indefinitely, since feelings are an inexhaustible source of energy.

We are manipulated almost everywhere. There is a lot of psychological pressure at work, in politics, advertising, relationships, and just in everyday life. Typically, if you see a person being manipulative in one area of their life, they will do the same in others.

Responsibility for moral pressure on a person

Cash . Coercion is considered to have begun from the moment the criminal act itself begins. They cannot be separated in time and considered separately from each other; they have legal significance exclusively in relation to each other. The end of the crime is the achievement of the intended criminal result, as well as the moment when the coerced person learns that the influence on him has been completed.
The validity (or reality) of coercion . The impact on the face must occur in the real world, be real, and not a figment of a person’s imagination. The essence of any crime, regardless of whether it is committed under duress or not, is to cause harm to social relations, and harm, which is obvious, is caused only in real time and place.
The criterion of public danger follows from the previous one. The social danger of a crime is the most important material sign that gives an idea of how and to what extent social relations protected by law are exposed to threat and danger. Mental coercion is characterized by both the danger of the coercion process itself and the resulting consequences. Therefore, situations where a coercing subject exerts mental influence with the aim of committing non-criminal actions cannot be considered from the perspective of circumstances that exclude the criminality of the act. The main thing is the fact of using the coerced person as a “tool”.
Overcoming . By surmountability in the general sense we understand the ability to overcome some difficulties, conditions, or resist something. Criminal legislation states that only physical coercion can be irresistible, while any mental and moral influence can be resisted. A person must always correlate his actions with the rules of extreme necessity, be aware of their danger and guide them (if we are talking about sane people). However, such a restriction seems very strange.

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Article 40 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (CC RF) states that causing harm to interests protected by criminal law is not considered a crime if the person committed it while under physical or mental coercion , as a result of which he lost control over his actions. Such offenses are considered in accordance with Article 39 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, that is, similar to crimes committed in a state of extreme necessity. However, these articles do not describe what is meant by physical or mental coercion.

Methods of psychological influence

Psychological pressure can be embodied in a variety of techniques - it all depends on the imagination of the aggressor. However, you need to know the basic methods of manipulating consciousness in order to resist them. As you know, forewarned is forearmed, and this one hundred percent applies to everything related to psychological pressure.

Trance

One of the oldest ways to influence the human psyche. It plunges our consciousness into a special state in which the ability to analyze information and make informed decisions is lost. Perception focuses on one thing, naturally beneficial to the manipulator. You can be put into a trance in different ways - most often monotonous stimuli are used, for example, monotonous speech, rapidly changing pictures, swinging of a pendulum, etc.... In such a state, consciousness is especially vulnerable to pressure, so they can verbally suggest something to you or provoke you to unwanted actions.

Using trigger words

These are words that carry an emotional and semantic connotation that is important for the “victim.” They are often resorted to by sellers trying to sell their goods: “Buy a more reliable TV, a more elegant fur coat, more fashionable shorts...”. They reflect any assessment or quality that the “victim” wants to possess.

Adjustment

It is expressed in the fact that a person copies certain components of your behavior: intonation, breathing rhythm, posture, manner of speaking, gaze, gait, etc.... It would seem that there is nothing wrong with this, but after adjustment the direct psychological impact begins . You are already on the same wavelength as the person, and it is much easier for him to “lead” you in the right direction.

Link to authorities

When you need to convince someone of something, it is often enough to refer to some expert in this field, and that's all - victory in your pocket. By the way, this is a classic version of psychological pressure. Oddly enough, authorities can also make mistakes, but this remains behind the scenes.

Psychological "games"

For example, a child who behaves in an exemplary manner periodically does something out of the ordinary. Perhaps he is simply being mischievous, but most often the matter is different: the child wants to be praised for good behavior, which is perceived by adults as the norm. After misbehavior, the likelihood of receiving praise increases as parents see the contrast. Another example: at work, a boss calls a subordinate and asks him to do a bunch of things by tomorrow. The subordinate’s eyes widen, then the boss says: “Well, okay. At least do this." And the subordinate happily runs off to carry out the assignment, although he would never have signed up for it in the first place.

Exchange of thanks

The technique of pressure is that a person first provides you with some minor favor, which you may not have even asked for, and then persistently hints that it would be nice to thank him for it.

"Weak"

Each of us has been familiar with this technique since childhood, when you are offered a choice: either you do what is required of you, or you will turn out to be bad. Everyone who is not too lazy resorts to it: men, colleagues, bosses, friends and acquaintances, shop assistants. It's paradoxical, but it works!

Image of a happy future

They paint a picture for you of what will happen if you do what they want from you. Our soul is designed in such a way that it strives for a state of joy and psychological comfort, and we are ready to do anything to achieve them. At the same time, the possible inconvenience for us from such an action is simply not taken into account.

Frightening images

If the previous methods do not work, then the person can be demonstrated how bad it will be if the action is not carried out. For example, the boss says: “If you don’t make a report, the company will face fines.” Fear overcomes, and you agree.