How to increase self-esteem and increase self-confidence

Today I want to talk to you about how to increase your self-esteem. The topic of the article was not chosen by chance.

But before I reveal all my cards, I recommend that you book a place at a secret meeting with Elizaveta Volkova, where she will talk about what exactly helped her become a successful, financially independent and beloved woman.

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So how can a woman raise her self-esteem? And why do this at all?

Students from the “Strength in Thought” school send hundreds of letters with questions about how to increase self-esteem. As practice shows, girls who have low self-esteem experience enormous difficulties in literally all areas of life:

• Relationships: their personal life does not work out, they have difficulties communicating with men and loved ones;
• Career: they are not appreciated at work, or they are paid much less for their work than they are actually worth;
• Health problems: excess weight, a lot of complexes about your appearance;
• Finance: they want to earn more, but they can’t do anything, because they often cannot adequately evaluate their work and are afraid to name the real price for their work;
• Desires: all dreams remain dreams, and desires, even the simplest ones, are not fulfilled;
• Dissatisfaction and self-doubt.

There is no doubt - self-esteem affects absolutely everything! As well as self-love and self-acceptance. It is also important to understand this if you want to succeed and become happy.

Just recently I wrote an article about how to accept and love yourself. Read it here: (article).

So, the question “How to increase self-esteem?” very, very relevant. But let’s first figure out what self-esteem actually is.

How to increase self-esteem? Basics of its formation

To make all the meanings that I want to convey to you as clear as possible, let’s define what self-esteem is.

and what factors influence its formation.

Why do some people have “everything is OK” with self-esteem, while others have it “below the plinth”?

Self-esteem is a person's idea of ​​how
important he is in relation to other people.
This is an assessment of one’s own qualities - strengths and weaknesses. To put it simply, self-esteem is a person’s attitude towards himself: towards personality traits, physical parameters, spirituality, and so on.

• If self-esteem is adequate, it contributes to the growth and development of a person, allowing one to eliminate and minimize many mistakes.
• If self-esteem is excessively high, a person does not take into account his past experience, does not learn lessons from previous mistakes, making more and more new ones.
• If self-esteem is low, a person constantly doubts himself and his strengths, has complexes, depends on the opinions of others, constantly asking questions and trying to understand how to increase self-esteem.

Brian Tracy wrote very well about self-esteem in his book “Achieving the Maximum. 12 principles."

You can watch Brian Tracy's live seminar here:

Today I want to introduce you to the key ideas from this popular book, as well as give you tips and advice to help you increase your self-esteem and confidence.

Brian Tracy - The Power of Self-Confidence

Brian Tracy

The power of self confidence

I gratefully dedicate this book to my son, David Tracy, one of the most positive, outgoing, optimistic, and confident people I know.

Introduction

Fear Free Zone

Only those who considered themselves stronger than their circumstances could always achieve something outstanding.

Bruce Barton

Welcome to the fear-free zone. In this book you will learn how to develop self-confidence, courage and unyielding determination. You will learn to face life's challenges with courage and take advantage of the opportunities it presents, without doubting your ability to achieve everything you dream of.

I can please you: you have incredible potential for success and prosperity, talent and natural abilities that cannot be used up in a hundred lifetimes. Only fears of all kinds stand between you and a happy life, but by the time you finish reading, they will leave you forever.

For more than 25 years, I have studied the lives of successful men and women, trying to find the common characteristics and qualities that allow them to achieve extraordinary results. After reading thousands of books, articles and scientific papers on success, I have come to the conclusion that the main factor for success in any area of ​​​​life is self-confidence.

Anyone who has achieved something extraordinary has developed this quality to a greater extent than the average person. If you develop this quality in yourself to such an extent that you stop doubting your ability to achieve everything you want, there will be no obstacles left in your path to success.

Main question

I recently received a letter from a woman who was once a participant in one of my seminars. She wrote that one phrase she heard at the seminar completely changed her outlook on life. More precisely, it was a question: “What great thing would you decide to do if you knew for sure that failure would not threaten you?”

When she began to ask herself this question on every occasion, the boundaries of what was possible for her expanded sharply. The woman clearly understood who she really wanted to be, what to do and what to have. At the same time, it became clear to her that only fears and doubts about her own capabilities had always kept her from achieving what she wanted.

What would you do differently in your life if you were completely guaranteed against failure? What if some unknown force gave you the ability to achieve any goal you set? In other words, what would happen if you were not afraid of anyone or anything and had complete freedom of action in any area? We can only state that the whole world would look completely different to you if you were invincibly confident in yourself.

Unlimited Confidence

With more confidence in yourself and your abilities, you will be able to set higher goals, develop bigger plans, and devote yourself to things you only dream about today. You will earn good money and be able to afford a higher standard of living: build a beautiful house, spend a wonderful vacation, buy an expensive car and clothes. You will be able to please your family and friends with expensive gifts. You will be able to do what you want without paying attention to other people's advice and opinions. You will be able to control your own destiny and live in accordance with your own, and not other people's, desires.

Feeling more confident in yourself, you will become a completely different person professionally and build a successful career. It will not be difficult for you to ask for a higher position, an increase in salary, and, if desired, change the company or even profession. You will instantly decide what needs to be done to dramatically accelerate the process of your career growth.

When you're in sales, you'll be more proactive in meeting potential clients, giving stronger, more effective presentations, and closing more deals. As a manager, you will reorganize human and material resources to create the most favorable business environment possible, and will not make endless compromises to please everyone around you.

Self-confidence will allow you to make bold plans that will amaze your imagination. You will become a more creative person, willing to experiment with new ideas and ways of working, choose unusual and risky alternatives, and devote yourself fully to projects that today seem like only pipe dreams.

Strong character, popularity and ability to persuade

With self-confidence, you can have a powerful influence on those around you. It will be easier for you to communicate with them, arouse their sympathy and be your own person in any company. You will be able to openly express your opinion in any conversation. Moreover, people will become interested in your opinion, and it will be received with due respect. You will begin to enjoy universal recognition as those around you will be convinced that you are capable of achieving anything you want. You will gain a prestigious social status, and people will begin to make you lucrative offers that you never dreamed of.

Ability to cope with difficulties

With self-confidence, you will be able to more effectively cope with the inevitable problems and difficulties that arise in everyday life. You will be constantly determined to find solutions that bring you maximum benefit. You will be able to laugh at difficulties that can discourage many, and succeed where most fail. You can turn sour lemons into sweet lemonade. You will feel invulnerable and invincible.

The higher your self-confidence, the more effectively you will be able to negotiate with a variety of people and cope with the most difficult situations. You will learn how to successfully negotiate and get the best prices and terms, no matter what you sell or buy.

A high self-evaluation

An unshakable belief in your own capabilities will make you truly omnipotent and teach you to value yourself highly. You will begin to sincerely rejoice in any manifestation of life, because deep down you will know that you are able to take all the necessary steps to make this life exactly the way you want.

You will feel enormous strength within yourself that allows you to completely control your destiny. But this is precisely the main prerequisite for happiness, prosperity and complete self-realization. You will feel like the master of your destiny and the captain of your soul.

Unlimited self-confidence will make you a self-sufficient person, capable of taking responsibility for your own life. You realize your strength, power and purpose. You will have a positive attitude towards yourself, towards all the people who surround you, and towards all the affairs that you undertake. An unshakable belief in your own abilities will help you become an extraordinary person.

Self-confidence can be developed

Unfortunately, this is not an easy task. Most people limit their self-confidence, and many do not have it at all. People tend to doubt their own abilities and experience fear of many imaginary dangers, especially the unknown. Psychologist Abraham Maslow said that the history of mankind is the history of many people who “valued themselves too little.”

The vast majority of people have the habit of comparing themselves with others, and not in their favor. They overly focus on their own weaknesses and limitations, often being content with only a small part of what they are actually capable of. Instead of increasing self-esteem, self-respect and pride in oneself, an ordinary person prefers to live for today, without striving for more.

But if self-confidence and high self-esteem are so important, why do so few people develop them enough to live the life they deserve? There may be thousands of reasons, but scientists have discovered an amazing thing: this quality can be learned through practice. And if so, then it is necessary to systematically and consistently work on developing self-confidence. The recommendations contained in this book will help you with this.

I can please you: every person has a certain amount of self-confidence. It is stronger in some areas, weaker in others, but it is a good foundation and can be developed to such an extent that you feel confident in any situation.

Great Law

Perhaps the most important law governing our lives was formulated by Aristotle around 350 BC. He called it the principle of causality and for the first time showed that we live in a Universe that obeys a certain order and in which any events have their own cause.

Self-concept and its influence on self-esteem

Brian Tracy believes that self-concept has a significant impact on a person's self-esteem. He's writing:

Your Self-concept is a set of ideas about yourself, about each of the components of your life, about your world. This is the ingenious computer program of your subconscious.

The Law of Faith states that beliefs determine reality, because you always look at the world through a screen of prejudices formed by the structure of your own beliefs. Your concept of yourself, your belief system, precedes and predicts your results and behavior in every area of ​​your life.

Your line of behavior is always consistent with the concept of yourself, with the system of ideas acquired from infancy.

You have a self-concept regarding all areas of your life, down to the smallest detail, namely:

• how much you weigh and how much you eat at one meal, how much physical activity you need;
• How attractive is your physical shape and appearance;
• how and what you dress in;
• how you look in the eyes of other people;
• how do you feel about your parents?
• how you raise your children;
• how you communicate with friends and family;
• how much you earn.

You have a general self-concept of your own competence in a given field and how much money you are capable of earning. You will never be able to rise much above the level of ability set by the self-concept, and you will never be able to earn much more or much less than the level of income predicted by the same concept.

Thus, your self-concept literally rules you and your life.

This means that in order to change yourself , you need
to change your self-concept. How to do it? First of all , you need to start imagining yourself as the person you want to be, and not as you are now.
This is a key point that will help you understand
how to increase your self-esteem.

Rules for accepting yourself on the path to confidence

Each individual person has their own path to developing inner confidence. This may take different times, depending on your personality.

First of all, we need to distinguish between internal and external confidence. The interior is characterized by the following features:

• self-acceptance;
• self-esteem;
• objective assessment of one’s strengths and knowledge;
• level of motivation.

The external indicators of a confident person include the following aspects:

• level of intonation;
• body position and posture;
• gesticulation;
• direct look.

People around you first of all evaluate your appearance and ability to present yourself. Even if the interlocutor utters dubious information, but does it very confidently, it is difficult to disagree with him. Eye contact, a confident look into the eyes, is especially important. But you won’t be able to create such an impression without inner confidence. These factors only work with an integrated approach.

What is self-confidence?

There are several rules that should be followed to increase faith in your own Self.

1. Never make comparisons . Other people may be richer, more beautiful, more talented. And this is completely normal, you should not compare yourself to other people’s successes. Personality develops individually. What means success for one is complete failure for another. You also shouldn't compare yourself to your past self. After all, development occurs every day; there is no point in carrying the burden of past failures.
2. Accept yourself with all your flaws . This is perhaps the most difficult stage. There are no perfect people. Many qualities that seem like disadvantages can actually become an impetus for development.
3. Create your own confident image . You need to remember your moment of triumph and the feelings it caused. Try to consolidate these emotions. With this approach, any task will seem simpler and clearer.
4. Leave your comfort zone . Unconfident people rarely change their social circle or visit unfamiliar places. To develop confidence, you will have to say goodbye to such habits. You need to set yourself the task of visiting new places and making acquaintances. Even if at first it will be buying coffee to go in an unfamiliar cafe.
5. Praise . You should reward yourself with pleasant things even for small victories. This will be an excellent motivation for further achievements.

Every day lived according to these rules will become an investment in a future confident personality.

How to develop self-confidence?

Three components of self-concept

The self-concept consists of three interrelated parts:

1. Your ideal self-image

(what you want to be);

2. Your self-image

(the way you see and feel yourself now);

3. Self-esteem or self-respect

(how you feel about yourself).

The best measure of self-esteem is how much you like yourself. The more you like yourself, the better you do everything that your thoughts are directed at. The more you like yourself, the stronger your self-confidence, the more positive your attitude, and the healthier, more energetic, and happier you feel overall.

A few words about self-concept from Brian Tracy himself:

The important thing is that you can control the third factor! Yes, yes, you can increase your level of self-esteem on your own.

All you need to do is do a simple exercise regularly.

Repeat out loud repeatedly with enthusiasm and sincere confidence, “I like myself!”

or
“I love myself!”
This method has been tested by many and every time it works with 100% accuracy. You can also try it on your child when he is upset, hurt or feels unsure of his own abilities. It is important to say these words repeatedly, sincerely and with all your heart.

Loving yourself is very nice. In fact, it is the key to effectiveness and happy relationships with others. The more you love and respect yourself, the closer to your abilities the results you achieve will be. You make fewer mistakes. You become a more energetic and creative person.

Many of us have been taught since childhood that we cannot love ourselves, as it is “bad” and makes us arrogant and arrogant. In fact, everything is exactly the opposite. A person who does not love himself has an inferiority complex and compensates for it with arrogance and arrogance.

Right now, as an experiment, take a break from reading the article and loudly say “I like myself!” several times.

You will see that by repeating these words 5-10 times, you will indeed feel much better.

How to get rid of self-doubt? Two main rules of self-respect

Brian Tracy reveals to us two rules of self-respect:

• Rule #1. It is impossible to love someone more than yourself. You cannot give what you do not have yourself.
• Rule #2. You should not expect anyone to love you more than you love and respect yourself.

Your level of self-love and self-acceptance is the control valve for the quality of your human relationships.

By the way, using these principles, you can come to an agreement not only with yourself, but also with other people. How to do this - see here >>>

So, we come to the most important question - how to change the self-concept and increase self-esteem.

Change is possible because everything you think about yourself is based on your subjective opinion. Negative beliefs about yourself are based on your false beliefs.

As soon as you begin to reject these limiting ideas, they will immediately begin to lose their power over you. As a result of gradual changes in your self-concept, your real potential becomes unlimited.

How is the self-concept formed?

In order to change the self-concept, increase self-esteem and self-confidence, you must first understand where this self-concept comes from.

You weren't born with it. Your self-concept is formed under the influence of your life experiences and various factors from your past. You have formed your self-concept based on the norms and requirements that exist in your environment. The foundations of personality are laid in the first 3-5 years of life.

How are children different from adults?

1) They do not know the feeling of fear;

2) They are completely liberated and do not push themselves into boundaries.

Where then do adults with complexes and dependent on other people’s opinions come from? It's their environment that makes them that way.

If a child is constantly encouraged and supported from a very early age, then in adulthood he is not afraid to act and make mistakes. If a child all the time heard only criticism and reproaches addressed to himself, and sometimes was subjected to punishment, then, as he gets older, he gradually closes down and begins to scold himself, considering himself unworthy, bad, not like everyone else.

Destructive criticism is one of the most dangerous lines of behavior. It reduces self-esteem, impoverishes a person’s own image, and undermines the effectiveness of the business in which a person is engaged.

Destructive criticism weakens a person's self-confidence, he begins to engage in self-deprecation, becomes tense and constantly makes mistakes in the very area in which he was criticized. He may completely refuse to repeat attempts and abandon this activity.

Before you criticize anyone, including yourself, remember these words.

Who and how influences your self-esteem:

How to increase self-esteem and program your brain for success?

So, we have understood the theory and come to the conclusion that your current situation with self-esteem is a consequence of your self-concept that has been formed since childhood.

In other words, you are where you are precisely because of your own ideas about yourself. Whether you are rich or poor, happy or unhappy, thin or plump, you owe it all to your own ideas.

By changing your ideas in any area of ​​your life, you immediately begin to change yourself. Your expectations, attitude, behavior and results will all change.

Your outer world is an expression of your inner world, and it cannot be any other way. “You are not what you think you are, but you become what you think.”

Your life today is the result of the entire previous course of your thoughts. You are somewhere and you are someone only because of yourself.

You can change your future at any moment by taking conscious control of your own thinking. You can make your life truly wonderful, feel freedom, joy, health, happiness, achieve prosperity just as a result of making the appropriate decision, while simultaneously abandoning all contradictory thoughts. All in your hands.

Now I want to give you some tips on how to increase your self-esteem and confidence by setting yourself up for success.

Changing your self-concept requires changing your mental habits.

The power of a woman is self-confidence

My dears, each of us is familiar with feelings that give rise to doubts in ourselves: in our own beauty, talents, in our professionalism, and, of course, annoying thoughts about what others think about us... We can endlessly continue these lists of thoughts and guesses that lead us into confusion and causing you to doubt your self-esteem and self-confidence .

Painful thoughts about how our lives correspond to the opinions of others sometimes force us to make choices that are not in favor of our true desires. After all, self-confidence is the quality that distinguishes a Woman from a girl. To be a real woman - to bloom, radiate peace, love and femininity...

Why are we increasingly thinking about how to raise self-esteem, and what kind of “beast” is female self-confidence, where does it live?

How to find self-confidence

And everything is very simple - self-doubt comes from childhood, when we were taught to look at third-party assessments, wait for approval, or vice versa - a sidelong glance, harsh words addressed to ourselves. In childhood we felt ashamed and unpleasant, and in adulthood it led to an inferiority complex and obsessive self-criticism.

To cope with children's complexes, you need to find harmony within, accept and understand yourself, regardless of the circumstances and environment. But this does not mean that we will immediately become a “super woman” and get rid of fears and shortcomings, no, we will learn to accept them together.

The girls and I came to the conclusion that it is normal to be afraid, and you can and should make friends with fears.

First, let's try to choose a fear to deal with! And - congratulations, you are already halfway to solving the problem: after all, the main thing is the recognition that the problem exists. And if it exists, you can accept it and solve it.

Secondly, we realize that this fear exists precisely at this moment - we will limit it in time, feeling it in the present. He may not have always been with you, and most likely he will not be in the future. Fear is just an emotion that is also changeable.

Thirdly, let's think about how real this fear, these feelings, thoughts are - let's try to step back and look at ourselves from the outside. Ask yourself: how true is a particular problem, and how can we help ourselves by solving it.

Finally, don’t forget that you can always ask for help, including professional support.

I hope our work was successful, and now you feel more empowered and your self-confidence has strengthened?

How to increase self-esteem? Going on a mental diet

To do this you will need 21 days. Tracy calls it the 21-Day Mental Diet. It is based on a positive mental attitude (PMO).

Think about yourself without tension and special concentration: what you would like to become, what qualities you would like to have.

Start with the following: imagine what your life could be like, what your home would look like, what your job would be like, what your health would be like, what standard of living would suit you. Give free rein to your imagination, indulge in the dreams and feelings caused by achieving your goals. This activity is the first sign that a new direction is being programmed into your subconscious computer.

There are as many as seven ways to work with mental habits. Use them to increase your self-esteem and gain strong confidence in yourself and your abilities. I will tell you in detail about each of them.

Simple Exercises to Boost Confidence

At first glance, these simple techniques may seem useless. But if you practice using them on a regular basis, the skills will become a habit. And confidence will be strengthened daily.

"Voice Commander"

The exercise is aimed at developing a confident voice. You can record your voice on a voice recorder and see what points require adjustment. When pronouncing words, you must clearly pronounce each sound. Particular attention is paid to vowel sounds. Studies have shown that long and clear vowel sounds are perceived better. Also, do not forget to place special emphasis on the letter “R”. Her clear and confident delivery makes her speech beautiful and firm. It is necessary to ensure that the intonation during a conversation is even. At the beginning of your journey, you should practice saying simple tongue twisters in front of a mirror.

"Armor"

For this task you need to carefully evaluate your reflection in the mirror. Correct the position of the head, the chin should be raised.

A straight back is an indicator of self-confidence and your body

There are a number of posture correction exercises that you can easily do at home. By speaking a phrase to the reflection, you can see your gestures from the outside. Gestures should be direct, without unnecessary fussiness. Having remembered your most advantageous positions of the body and arms, you should monitor and maintain them throughout the day.

Exercises to develop self-confidence

“What is the strength?”

This task is aimed at internal perception of oneself. You need to remember which loved one is a real support, support and a real role model. Whenever you talk to other people, you should imagine this person behind you. This way, any difficulties will seem surmountable.

Achieving confidence will require a lot of effort. That’s why it’s so important to appreciate any success you have and the love of your loved ones. Then new achievements and recognition will not take long to arrive.

In the video , the most practical way to gain self-confidence:

Seven Ways to Change Mental Habits

1) Visualize

Visualization is one of the most powerful ways of modifying images available to humanity. Your visual images become reality.

It is important to pay attention to the frequency, clarity, intensity, and duration of the visualization. Do everything to maximize your visualization and fill what you want with emotion and energy.

If you want a car, sign up for a test drive and take it for a spin. If you dream of traveling, find photos of the places you dream of visiting, cut them out and look at them often.

Remember: the subconscious does not know how to distinguish reality from fiction!

Every time you remember, remind yourself and experience an event in your consciousness, you force your subconscious to accept it and store it as if it had just happened again.

For example, if you again and again imagine yourself in excellent physical shape - healthy and fit - you are thereby giving a command to your subconscious. As a result, it begins to “adjust” your appetite, physical activity and digestion to new standards. As a result, excess weight goes away on its own.

And this works in almost all areas: health, business, relationships and money.

The mistake many people make is that they ruminate and have a clear picture of their failures, mistakes they have made, and mistakes they have made. And then they are surprised to feel tension and anxiety when a similar situation arises.

All improvements in life begin with improving mental pictures.

2) Approve

Affirmations are another very effective mental programming technique. One such statement is the phrase “I like myself.”

What you tell yourself, what you believe, has a powerful influence on your subconscious. Statements like “I can do this!” or “I earn this much per year” or “I weigh this many pounds” can cause significant changes in your self-concept and the results you achieve.

Please note an important condition: the statement must be formulated in the present tense and sound as if the goal has already been achieved. For example, instead of saying “Starting Monday I will no longer smoke,” it is better to say “I am a non-smoker.”

3) Verbalize

Verbalization is saying statements out loud in the company of other people or alone.

You can do it while standing in front of a mirror. You need to speak confidently, emotionally, with enthusiasm. If you utter phrases in the presence of other people, you have a powerful influence on your thoughts and subsequent behavior.

4) Play your part

Playing a role is an effective way to program yourself for success. The essence of it is to act and behave as if you have already achieved your goal.

Using this technique, you can purposefully form in yourself the mental qualities of a successful person. You will be able to act with purpose, confidence, courage, competence and intelligence.

If you imagine that you already have all these qualities, you will soon discover to your own surprise that you actually have all of them. In doing so, people will accept you and respond to you as the person you want to become.

5) Feed your brain

Read magazines and books, watch films and videos that energize you and motivate you for further growth and development. Attend seminars and take training. In short, take real steps towards your goal.

6) Hang out with successful people

Positive communication is extremely important. Change your environment.

Cut ties with people who are pulling you back. Communicate with those who you yourself want to become.

When choosing a company to spend time together, follow the advice of Baron de Rothschild and “do not make useless acquaintances.” To meet new, useful people, you usually need to cut off contact with your old environment, especially get rid of negativists. They serve as the main source of all unhappiness in your life.

7) Teach others

Teaching others is another effective practice. Pass on the knowledge you have acquired yourself to other people. Share what you learn.

If you want to put the acquired knowledge into practice, right now choose the habit you want to consolidate and act according to the seven steps prescribed above. Think about how exactly you can achieve this goal, make a plan and act!

To help you on this path, Elizaveta Volkova has prepared detailed instructions on how to fulfill your desires and achieve your goals. Download it for free >>>

The article turned out to be very voluminous and informative. I'm sure Brian Tracy and I have answered your request and helped you understand how to increase your self-esteem.

Do you have problems with low self-esteem? Share your thoughts on this topic in the comments. I read everything and personally respond to everyone.

CONFIDENCE WORDS

Here are a few short phrases from Mary Cronk that will help you build your confidence and avoid being manipulated, especially if doctors tell you that you “can’t” give birth on your own, that you “need” stimulation, etc.

Mary Cronk is an English midwife, an expert in breech birth - for many years she conducted training seminars on this topic for midwives and doctors throughout the UK (her colleagues conducted such seminars in Russia). She has helped many women gain the experience of happy childbirth. For her many years of service, she was awarded the Order of the British Empire.

“I’m sure many will explain to you that you have the right to refuse, without any explanation on your part, any procedure. In this sense, the law and qualified medical practice are completely unanimous and unequivocal. After carefully listening to the arguments of the medical professional, a reasonable person, in case of refusal of a certain procedure, should simply say “Thanks, no.” It is possible or not - YOU decide . The feeling of self-confidence should be strengthened in every possible way. To do this, I suggest you learn the following phrases and practice saying them in front of the mirror as often as possible.

1. “Thank you very much, midwife/doctor, for your advice. We will carefully consider it and inform you of our decision.” And - smile! This phrase is extremely useful in the situation before the onset of labor, although it can also come in handy during the process. You may only need a minute to make a decision or ask the necessary question.

2. “You should think again about what you just said!” A steady, cold gaze. This phrase will be useful to use, for example, in the case of abuse of the word “allow”.

3. “It seems to me that you didn’t hear me. Maybe I should repeat it?”

4. “I'm afraid that I will have to consider further discussion as aggression/intentional harassment.” It should be said if the doctor does not take your decision into account or persistently continues to apply pressure.

5. “What is your number in the register of obstetricians (or therapists)?” - if the previous 4 phrases did not have the desired effect. If you are asked why the number is needed, answer that you have information that may be of interest to the organization. In our realities, this is more of a phrase about “what is the name of your manager (manager), chief physician?”

6. “STOP IMMEDIATELY.” This is a last resort. I am happy to admit that my own student once used it AGAINST me. I was doing a difficult vaginal examination and was too persistent. I stopped immediately - it was a good lesson.

Don't argue; Learn these phrases and keep them or similar ones in your head - just in case. Judging by my experience, you only need to demonstrate once or twice how confident you are in yourself - and the attitude towards you will become much more respectful - as it should be on the part of your PROFESSIONAL MINISTERS.”

Translation by Yulia Sorokopud. Source.

Illustration by Mirta Groffman.