How to avoid getting into trouble
Some young people perceive talking to a girl about a date as walking through a minefield. Any word or gesture may not please the chosen one, and she will do the worst thing - refuse to meet...
Of course, there is nothing catastrophic in this. Your world will not collapse. Or maybe it’s good that fate let us down.
However, the ability to charm any lady is an excellent quality that will come in handy even in neutral relationships with women. Therefore, think of the moment of invitation as an exciting game in which participation also brings enormous pleasure. And the result is a pleasant bonus.
Rule #1: Don't let yourself be caught off guard
If a girl speaks to you in a flirty, playful tone, then there is a chance that she will ask you out.
How high this chance is depends on you, your social reputation and the circumstances in which you met.
If you are an alpha male and a natural leader, then women expect you to invite them.
In this case, you may never wait for the young lady to take the initiative.
But, if you are a calm, thoughtful, lonely guy, then girls will not expect activity from you and will start asking you out on a date.
Women's questions can range from obvious ("Hey, let's go somewhere this weekend?") to ambiguous ("You know, don't be so afraid to ask girls out, try to like it too").
Sometimes a girl can come from afar and hint at an invitation (“On Sunday there will be a flower exhibition in the city park, it will be very spectacular. But it’s boring there, and there’s no one to take a picture. Who should I invite to join me?”).
In this case, the girl reports that she is free and does not mind unwinding.
If you learn to read non-verbal information and understand hints, then you will no longer become nervous as soon as the conversation turns to more personal topics.
This will help you avoid situations where guys are caught off guard, confused and don't know how to react correctly.
As soon as she starts talking about:
- Wants to go somewhere, see something, try something new.
- That you and her should meet sometime.
- That you should be bolder and communicate more often with women.
- That you shouldn't be afraid to ask girls out.
- It hints that she is lonely and wants to unwind.
- She finds it difficult to find company or someone worthwhile.
- That she's lonely or recovering from a breakup.
... any of these signs indicate that she wants to go on a date with you or wants you to ask her out.
Correctly responding to her requests or invitations means learning to instinctively recognize her hints.
For example, as soon as you hear a girl tell you that she has no one to go to the cinema with, the thought should immediately arise in your head: “She wants me to ask her out.”
When you're talking to a girl and she starts complaining about how men are so busy these days and no one goes on dates anymore, a switch should go off in your brain: “Oh! So you need to ask her out on a date.”
The easiest way to practice this skill is to do a little visualization exercise in which you analyze subtle, ambiguous cues from girls, like the ones I gave above, and associate those cues with the emotion: “I should ask her out!”
Learn to immediately recognize these clues as opportunities that you can take advantage of.
These requests and invitations do not always lead to dates. Sometimes women use them to test your level of interest (“Hmm, I think he likes me, but I’m not sure. Let’s see what he does when I hint that I’m available”).
Sometimes this is part of a ploy to get you to pay her more attention and be involved (perhaps because she wants to date you, or because she likes to flirt).
But usually when you see things like this, it's the equivalent of an invitation to a meeting.
Rejoice, women invite you themselves.
Rules of the game:
Do not build sentences in interrogative form (“Can I invite you on a date?”) and do not use constructions (“I want to invite”, “I want to ask you”, etc.) You don’t need to ask the girl - just invite her. And the next move will follow.
Don't use the wording "date". She can give responsibility to the heroine and scare her away. And “meeting” sounds much better, and it is intuitively clear that it will be romantic.
The invitation must be specific. This means the place and time have already been planned by you. This will demonstrate the seriousness of your intentions.
Politeness and courtesy are the main qualities on a date. Of course, impudence combined with brutality can also work to your advantage, but the likelihood of approval in the first case is still higher.
Don't rush things. If you receive an evasive answer, this is not a reason to give up. Try to wait it out and offer again. Not all girls are dynamos, she can really be busy.
Top 5 best options for a first meeting
Sometimes you need to make a date in the standard way. In order for a meeting with a colleague, an acquaintance or a girl you barely know to go well, you need to focus on traditional places to spend a pleasant evening.
Cinema
Going to the movies is considered a great option for a first date. During the session, you can get used to each other, feel the atmosphere, and relax. After watching the film, you should go to a cafe or take a walk in the fresh air, if the weather cooperates.
The first date lasts several hours, you only need to focus on the girl’s personal feelings and desires. If you enjoy communicating and spending time together, be sure to make an appointment for the next meeting. This can be done both in person and over the phone when you come home. It is important not to disappear after a date, so that the young lady knows that she really arouses your increased interest.
Restaurant
You can invite a girl to a restaurant so that she does not feel that the man is greedy and decided to save money on her. The establishment should be selected taking into account the culinary preferences of your friend.
A park
Men don't know how to date a stranger. The park is a good option only during the warmer months. If it’s winter or rain outside, no woman will like this idea. There is little romance here; the girl will think that the guy is stingy and does not even have money to take her to a restaurant or cafe.
Picnic
Only women who know them well are invited to the picnic; such places are inappropriate for a first date. But if you both like extreme sports, new sensations and emotions, then feel free to choose this dating option and do everything to make the time spent memorable for the young lady.
Party
A woman should be invited to a meeting taking into account her preferences. If she likes clubs, parties, crowded places, you can choose them, just remember that in such an atmosphere you will not be able to communicate normally.
A date is a crucial moment for many men, so you need to prepare for it. Try to be sweet and gallant. Any girl will appreciate this attitude and will definitely want to meet again.
Extra points
You can interest the lady of your heart using simple psychological tricks:
Surprises/intrigue. Something with a little secret: “I know a place you’ll definitely like!” “I think I know how I can pleasantly surprise you.” “Remember, you said... I understand something about this and can tell you over a cup of coffee.” The more original and detailed the intrigue, the greater the likelihood of your success.
Compliments. Not banal phrases about a beautiful dress or hairstyle, but your positive observations of the object of attention: “You draw great, let’s go to the Museum of Modern Art? I’m a complete novice in this, but I really want to figure it out.”
Quest. Get creative when asking for a date: write a few secret messages to the girl you like. These could be compliments or unusual details that you noticed about the heroine. Show your imagination and use Her Majesty Intrigue. And in the last note, indicate the place and time for the date. But to find the message, the girl will have to perform certain actions...
Flash mob. Invite your friends and arrange a small public performance, in the center of which will be the object of your adoration. For example, you can sing a song of your own composition or dance with a support group. Let her not realize until the very end that the surprise is intended specifically for her.
Preparing for a date with a girl
- Think over the program. Clearly plan the whole evening: where and how you will meet, where you will go first, and what will happen after. Of course, everything can change quickly, but plan “b” will help you get out of any situation.
- Take care of your budget. After all, in Russia it is customary to pay for a girl on a date. Don't get yourself into an awkward position and consider all possible expenses.
- Think about your appearance. For a date, it is better to choose a formal business style of clothing, adding a touch of casual. For example, wear pants and a shirt or jacket with a T-shirt underneath.
- Make a nice gesture. Give your sweetheart a ride to a romantic spot by car or call her a taxi. Also, a bouquet of beautiful flowers as a gift will never be superfluous.
- Topics for conversation. Sometimes small preparations can greatly help to spark a dialogue and allow you to identify the common ground between you and your chosen one. Think about what you can ask and what you will reveal about yourself. The main thing is that the conversation does not turn into a monologue.
Choosing a place for a date
It’s better not to plan anything grandiose and stunning so that the girl doesn’t feel awkward. It is important to take into account your own financial capabilities - despite the growing popularity of feminist ideas, women are still pleased when people pay for them in a cafe. You need to think through the date down to the smallest detail so that the couple can communicate and get to know each other. It wouldn't hurt to have a backup option if the girl doesn't agree to go to the specifically suggested place.
It is advisable to choose leisure activities that will be interesting to both. If the hobbies of a man and a woman are radically different, a neutral option will do: a walk around the city or drinking tea in a cafe. You shouldn’t waste money so that the girl appreciates the creativity of her companion, and not the thickness of his wallet.
Cafe
If a woman “doesn’t eat after six,” you can limit yourself to a light lunch. The main thing in visiting a cafe is not the quantity and sophistication of the dishes, but pleasant communication. Dialogue allows us to reveal new facets of a person, which promotes rapprochement. It’s hard to refuse a cup of aromatic espresso, herbal tea or an airy latte – besides, a modest treat does not oblige you to anything. There is no need to try to impress your companion with your material well-being if you fail to keep up the brand in the future. Before going to a cafe together, you should find out her culinary tastes or give her the right to choose dishes on the spot.
Theater premiere
This option is suitable for true connoisseurs of art, so you need to find out the preferences of the chosen one in advance. An incendiary musical and an interesting production will appeal to most girls, but it is advisable to refuse author’s performances. Monodramas and art house are specific theatrical trends that can cause bewilderment to an ignorant person. The performances are not conducive to communication, so you need to plan the continuation of the date.
Walk in the park
Neutral territory is suitable for a first date during the daytime. The couple will be in full view of people, so the girl will not worry about her own safety. You need to walk at a leisurely pace with a calm conversation, and not make marathon laps around the park. Psychologists recommend choosing a place near a cafe where you can go for soft drinks, warm tea or a light snack.
Visit to the cinema
You can invite a colleague, classmate or a girl from a common group to an exciting film - this is a universal option for a date. In order not to make a mistake with your choice, it is useful to resort to tricks. The method will work if the chosen one understands modern cinema. You can ask to recommend an interesting film and join the company at the premiere. When solving a problem on your own, it is useful to flip through the movie poster and choose a genre, taking into account the opinion of your companion. Women usually like romantic comedies and melodramas, but there are fans of fantasy and even action films.
READ
What to talk about with a girl on a walk: interesting topics for conversation
Disco
An ideal place for bonding, since disco involves not only rhythmic dancing, but also slow ones. To choose, you will need good choreographic skills of a guy who will not freeze like an idol at the first sounds of the melody. Not all girls know how to move beautifully, so the chosen one may refuse to attend a disco due to a lack of flexibility and sense of rhythm.
Extreme date
Psychologists say that people are better united by joint activities that involve little risk. The adrenaline rush increases vitality, so after the date the girl’s mood will be at its best. If you invite your chosen one to VK or another social network with photographs, you can determine the degree of riskiness of her from the pictures. Extreme options include:
- amusement park;
- climbing wall;
- ice rink;
- city quest;
- date on the roof of a high-rise building;
- hot air balloon flight.
The life and health of your companion should not be seriously endangered. It is advisable to choose an option where the guy himself can provide support. Otherwise, you cannot do without the presence of an instructor.
How to behave at a romantic meeting
Generations, views, foundations change, but the desire to see a confident, strong, intelligent man in front of you remains. However, it is important not to confuse confidence with persistence, otherwise this may cause doubts in the lady of your heart about your intentions.
On a first date, awkwardness and embarrassment are inevitable, so take the initiative completely into your own hands this evening.
Any girl will be pleased if they show interest in her as a person. Be interested in her inner world and look for similarities between you. This approach will allow you to determine whether you are the heroes of the same novel, or whether this relationship is unable to develop into something more.
What does the girl's behavior mean?
First, men think about how to invite a beautiful girl on a date, then they think about how she treats them, and whether there is a chance of moving to a new level of communication.
Young ladies rarely hide their feelings; they are usually visible to the naked eye. If a girl smiles when communicating, laughs at jokes, it means she is not indifferent to you. You can safely call her on a second date, after which the picture will become even clearer.
The look of a young lady is a great helper in determining her attitude towards you. If she looks into your eyes for a long time or quickly looks away when communicating, then she likes you.
READ Where you can invite a girl on a first date to make it memorable
There is another win-win way to determine how a girl feels - physical contact. If she enjoys touching you and does it whenever possible, it means she likes you.
When a woman likes communicating with a man, she will look for meetings with him, write messages, call. If you observe such actions, they 100% indicate mutual sympathy, which may not be limited solely to going on dates.
