- Are you offended? Leave the person alone
- Conflicts, resentment and guilt are components of any dispute
- What to do if you are offended and you don’t know the reason?
- How should you ultimately behave if a girl is offended by you and you don’t know the reasons?
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Guys quite often face situations of insult from their beloved girls. Not only did there be a quarrel, but the girl did not bother to explain to the guy why she was offended by him. Psychologists often advise eliminating quarrels and reaching reconciliation by discussing and resolving the problems that led to the quarrel. However, how can you solve something if it is not even clear what exactly needs to be solved? Guys often find themselves in situations where their girlfriends are offended by them, but it’s not clear why. The men's site masculino.ru will try to help readers in this matter.
So, the girl is offended by you and does not explain why. You ask her questions, but she doesn’t answer them. You already feel some anger or resentment. You are trying to solve the problem, make peace, but the girl does not cooperate. What to do in such a situation? Psychologists advise - leave the girl alone.
How to behave and what to tell a girl if she is offended and ignores
As you can see, the two above options are radically different from each other. Accordingly, your reaction to the girl’s offense should be different.
In the first case, you should not apologize, repent and make yourself feel guilty in this situation. Because you really are not. The best way to react to a girl’s offense, even if she is silent, is to completely ignore the change in her behavior. Ignore her insults and don’t be fooled. Often this is a type of female manipulation. If your friend sees that you are not attracted to her behavior, she will soon stop doing this.
In the second case, you may find yourself truly guilty. This can happen for many reasons. If you realize that you have offended a girl, go to her and apologize. Say that you realized your mistake and will try not to allow such situations to happen again. You can hug her.
Always try to maintain a trusting relationship with your partner and discuss all emerging issues and situations between you. If something incomprehensible begins to happen, immediately tell her what you want to discuss. Explain that speaking openly about difficult topics is necessary, and this will help make your relationship even more harmonious in the future.
Now you know what to do if a girl is offended, remains silent and ignores you.
It is difficult, of course, to determine what a person was offended by, especially a girl. If you have not done anything shameful towards the girl, then we can assume that she has such a complex disposition, she is touchy. And there are most girls who, seeing how a guy is worried about this, turn this pseudo-offense into a weapon and begin to use it shamelessly. And if this is the same case, then now I’ll give you some advice to girls: girls, don’t do this, it doesn’t last long, then you quickly get bored. And guys, don’t spoil your girls with this, you will spoil them, and then you yourself will be unhappy with it. Known from my own experience.
I think it might be worth it then to understand what the offense is about. So, analyze your behavior. Remember to the smallest detail what you could say that was offensive. I’m also touchy, but it doesn’t even occur to me to be offended by my husband if he buys me a sewing machine and not a pair of shoes. I’m always happy about any gift. But the fact is that the girl is not at all happy about the gift. then maybe it’s worth giving such a gift to another girl who can appreciate it. And as for another reason for resentment, then yes, female psychology is a real charade for men. And it is precisely for this reason that it is not at all worthwhile to deliberately compromise her in order to offend her. If this is a vulnerable person, then she will simply get tired of being offended and she will want to break up with you, but do YOU want this? Think about it?
No matter how wise and self-sufficient a girl is, someday she will have to face her resentment and discontent. This can amaze a man: it would seem that she has long grown beyond the age when she can pout and ignore.
It’s not a matter of age or life experience, it’s just female nature taking its toll.
In this case, the man has to take the initiative into his own hands.
Conflicts, resentment and guilt are components of any dispute
Human life is full of conflicts, grievances and feelings of guilt. Why is that? Because man is a social being, which means that everyone periodically finds himself in situations where other people become his enemies, offenders or victims. Be that as it may, these are the three components of any controversial issue. The problem itself becomes a conflict, one participant becomes offended, and the other participant becomes guilty. At the same time, the offended person considers himself right, and the offender considers himself guilty.
It is worth knowing that there are no conflicts only in the cemetery. They arise because at least two people have certain ideas and opinions regarding one issue. Is it good? Wise and successful representatives will say that this is even useful, since people do not quarrel when they have nothing to talk about.
Who gets offended most often? Statistics show a high level of resentment among the stronger sex of the population. Men are more likely to blame others for things they themselves have failed to do. For example, they may have problems at work due to the fact that the boss does not notice the success of their work, which is why, when returning home, they demand words of praise and admiration from their wives. And if they do not fulfill the role given to them, the husbands are offended.
Every offended person should remember one wise thought: a person driven by resentment becomes a fool who thinks he knows how to live. Pay attention to yourself when you are offended by someone. You think that you are right, not noticing the complete meaninglessness of your offense.
We should not exclude those moments when people really, consciously or unconsciously, offend others. But in this case, you should remember that the people around you treat you the way you allow them to. If you, for example, allow your boss to yell at you or say insulting things to your wife, then you will periodically be yelled at and humiliated. If you're afraid to tell your boss and wife to treat you with respect just because you're afraid of missing out or losing something, then you're facing the fate of being constantly resented. But if you really don't like the way other people treat you, then position yourself in society so that they will treat you differently.
Why do people hurt other people? Usually no one has such a focused goal. Mostly, conflict situations manifest themselves in scandals, shouting, criticism, etc. The main purpose of such clashes is the desire of a person to change the opinion of his interlocutor and achieve the desired goal. However, with your criticism, reproaches and discussions you will not change a person, but will only anger him. People do not change, no matter how hard you press for pity, no matter how long you talk about morality and threaten with death. Time passes, they calm down and become again the same and with the same feelings as before.
When it comes to guilt, there is a difference between being guilty and simply being aware of your mistakes. To be guilty means to whine and ask for forgiveness. A person admits his mistakes for the sake of the happiness of others, but this does not become proof that the lesson has been learned. Realizing your mistakes means identifying your problems yourself and making efforts to eliminate them so that they do not happen again. At the same time, a person does this for himself, and not for others.
You should understand this in those moments when you feel guilty. It is common for every person to make mistakes. But there is a significant difference between plunging into the abyss of your own guilt and recognizing your shortcomings and correcting them. If someone is trying to make you feel guilty, but you feel right, do not fall for moral cues and other dogmas with which they are trying to humiliate and blame you. You should not conform to someone else's ideas, especially if they contradict your life desires and aspirations. However, you should not discount the criticism that is actually aimed at identifying your mistakes. If you truly agree with the other person's words that you have some shortcomings that are interfering with your life and harmonious relationships, then notice them and correct them. But even here you do not have to feel guilty, since it cannot bring you anything other than powerlessness and low self-esteem.
Ignores and remains silent, what should I do?
The plan of action for female resentment depends on many factors:
- on how serious the relationship is (two-month romance or long-term love),
- depending on the age of the partners,
- from the characters,
- temperament,
- education.
Most likely, a man has more than once encountered a girl’s reaction to a particular act, so he knows exactly how to and how not to behave. If the relationship is at an early stage, this remains to be seen. What are the options?
Most girls love it when a man demonstrates his concern.
Reference! In truth, some people suck the insult out of their fingers so that the chosen one will show all his masculine essence, rush to the other end of the city in any weather, hug and ask for forgiveness.
There is a category of women to whom you don’t need to say anything, but need to show that you are not going to let the lady of your heart go. The beginning of the reconciliatory path is the same: get ready and come to her, but you don’t need to say anything.
A girl can break free, say that it’s all over, and the man’s task is to lend his shoulder, hold him tightly and let his emotions spill out. Eventually she will give in.
Another way to melt the heart of an offended girl is to choose the right words. Women love with their ears, and, no matter how much they deny it, tender and important words always quickly bear fruit.
Usually a girl who ignores a guy is waiting for those very words that will act as a key. Girls even subconsciously know what word or phrase it should be.
By the way, this method also has several individual points:
It is much easier and faster to make peace with some girls if you repay in the same coin.
Surprisingly, sometimes the desired and subconscious of a woman works wonders: it seems to her that she wants actions, loud words, flowers, confessions from a man, but in fact she only reacts to indifference. If your girl is one of these, just wait a couple of days and she will write herself.
However, for some, a hand-made postcard will be enough, others count on a bouquet of flowers or a large teddy bear, and still others - on a fur coat or jewelry.
Attention! There is only one piece of advice here - to reconsider your attitude towards this mercantile person.
How a guy should behave if a girl is offended is explained in the video:
Is the girl offended or guys don’t be fooled
The essence of the technique is an implicit demonstration of resentment: pursed lips, an expression of offended virtue on the face, feigned demonstrative meekness, unnatural silence, leaving for another room, withdrawing into oneself, which is unusual in the normal state. It seems that everything is fine, no quarrels occurred, but there is tension in the air, resentment towards you.
I’m more than sure that this behavior of a woman is familiar to most of us.
How it works. The first task is to get you out of emotional balance. (In general, most female manipulations begin with a kind of emotional inflation - like artillery preparation before an offensive.) Something is wrong, but you do not understand the reasons for the offense. You begin to frantically delve into the latest events of your relationship in an attempt to find that action of yours that resulted in resentment. You can't remember anything like that, and you feel uneasy.
The second task is to instill a stable and constant feeling of guilt (the “instilling a guilt complex” manipulation). You are guilty, but not just guilty, but so guilty that you should know exactly why. So you become guilty and do not understand what you are guilty of.
You are taught (trained) to:
1. “easily sensitive” and the imaginary “fine mental organization” of your woman; 2. to walking on a line: you must watch your every step, action, so as not to upset HER in any way; 3. a constant feeling of guilt about something and the need to make excuses, thus creating the basis for any other manipulations; 4. to the role of “offender”, which the woman can refer to in subsequent showdowns;
5. to the thought of your “thick-skinnedness” and “insensitivity” towards your woman, manifested in “lack of insight” about the causes of the offense;
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How to react to such manipulation? How to block the “Brick Face” technique? Since this dirty trick is a subtype of a wide class of techniques in the “Instilling a Guilt Complex” series, you need to react as described below.
Just this one time, firmly explain to your woman that you don’t intend to tolerate her “face like a brick” in the absence of clear explanations, let her tell you frankly what’s wrong. If there are grievances or complaints, they must be eliminated through civilized dialogue. Didn't you hear? Continues the game? Silently turn around and go into another room to do your business or give yourself the pleasure of dinner in a good restaurant. Just don’t spoil your nerves, enjoy life.
Believe me, your woman will come to her senses much sooner than she might think.
There are, however, incurable cases like this:
“I once tried, when a woman was sulking at me and did not want to give a reason, to avoid conflict, simply ignore her clearly unfriendly behavior. Would you like to tell me the reason? I won't ask a second time. Don't want to talk, don't want affection? I won’t ask for it either, it’s humiliating. I just waited, minded my own business, although my soul was in great pain. But that didn't help either. She then left and even complained: “You’re kind of unemotional in general, you’re not interested in my feelings.” And they were interesting. I just didn’t want to go through the motions, having learned from the bitter experience of previous relationships.”
And this is the so-called “fork” of the “pouting lips” technique. A man is placed in a situation, any reaction to which means his loss to one degree or another.
Or you run after her and try to find out the reason for the silent resentment, dissatisfaction, feeling a growing sense of guilt and anxiety for the fact that you are not able to understand the objective reason for the resentment. You frantically search your memory for your mistakes in relation to her.
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Or the second option is you ignore her. And you automatically become an “insensitive log” who is “incapable of understanding the feelings of his beloved” and who “doesn’t give a damn” about her.
Conclusion: do not play woman games imposed on you. Never play. Author: Dmitry Seleznev
If you are very offended
First you need to understand: is it really that expensive and do you need it? If the answer is yes, you will have to overcome your pride, ask for forgiveness even if it is not your fault, and perhaps ask friends for help.
Attention! Strong resentment on the part of a girl, as a rule, arises only if the guy has seriously committed a crime.
Representatives of the fairer sex, although they like to sulk, gradually emotions subside, and the quarrel ends after a few hours or a couple of days. If a girl flatly refuses to improve the relationship, then there is a good reason for this.
The algorithm of actions is simple:
- give it time to cool down,
- disappear from her sight for a couple of days (don’t write, don’t call),
- perform a masculine romantic act.
The main thing is that during these couple of days of calm you do not aggravate the situation even further, for example, by taking photos on social networks with other girls or friends, going to parties or going to cafes.
A romantic act is limited by a man's imagination and budget:
- you can write a declaration of love under the windows,
- put her name out of flowers,
- send a large bouquet by courier and enclose a touching letter in the flowers,
- going up on a lift to your beloved’s window is something that any girl will certainly appreciate.
After she thaws out a little, you need to sincerely ask for forgiveness, be sure to clarify why (for the girl it is important that the guy understands where he messed up), and promise not to do it again. Any girl will let go of her grudge after this.
What to do if a girl is offended and does not want to communicate is described in the video:
What to do if a girl is constantly offended?
You need to understand the character of your girlfriend. If a girl is touchy by nature, then all that remains is to accept it. If there are reasons, then you need to look deeper - but under no circumstances blame yourself, this will not lead to anything good. Instead, you need to understand whether you can continue to live in harmony and maintain good relationships.
If you understand that this is just emotional pressure on you, then the main thing here is not to cave in and not give in to manipulation. Talk to your girlfriend and try to work things out. Be honest and direct - and be prepared for the possibility that the situation may be faulty. If a girl does not want to change her behavior in any way and continues to put emotional pressure on you, then it is better for you to end this relationship. A guy who bends under his girlfriend becomes uninteresting to her, and can simply be abandoned as soon as he has exhausted his usefulness for the girl. Of course, the consequences for a guy are far from the best - being left alone after such an unhealthy relationship.
Relationships are often difficult for guys, and so they have to do a lot to keep the couple happy. But it is important (and necessary) to know where a healthy relationship ends and manipulation of a partner begins.
How to behave if she often sulks over trifles?
Many girls have a tendency to constantly get offended over little things - this is a sign of infantilism.
Reference! Girls find pouting cute, so they learn this behavior pattern and use it regularly. Moreover, they are firmly convinced that men also like such young ladies.
What to do with such a girl? Since your girlfriend behaves like a child, then you need to approach her like a child.
Reasonable long conversations with arguments, arguments and searches for a compromise will not work with her: she will always be unprepared for such a dialogue.
With girls prone to infantilism, you need to be a strong and wise man: give them a cute toy or a postcard, caress them, give them a kind word.
