The easiest way to choose a transport company is with the help of recommendations from friends and a banal search on the Internet. Private owners with vans also offer their services - this is a cheaper option, but various risks are higher here. When ordering a car, pay attention to how it is equipped. The van must not only match the amount of cargo in terms of capacity, but also be prepared inside: have guides for furniture fasteners and the fasteners themselves (belts), a non-slip floor, soft pads on the walls, and ideally, a hydraulic lift for quick loading of heavy objects.
Soberly assess the number of things that need to be transported and contact the chosen company: in some cases you need to order a car in advance, in others right on the day of the move. They will also be able to tell you how long loading/unloading may take and how many movers you will need. If you are worried that you will not meet the time-limited tariff of the transport company, and the additional payment for an extra hour does not suit you, choose complex tariffs, which many carriers have: prices usually depend on the number of rooms in the apartment. This will also protect you from dishonest workers who can deliberately stall for time and then persuade you to pay for a new cheaper hour past the cash register.
Knowing exactly the scale of the “disaster” is necessary not only for the contract with transport workers: if you are not one of the minimalists, it is unlikely that a couple of evenings after work will be enough for you to get ready (when you will already be tired) - it is better to take a couple of days off.
Make a decision and move forward
Make an important decision - that you want to stay here, become one of your own and are ready to change for this. This is important, because you cannot feel confident in another place if all your thoughts are focused on the past, remaining where your previous part of life passed. There is no need to give up these memories at all. You just don't have to run around in them all the time. A person who shares a place that is dear to him, at the slightest problem, tends to awaken in himself memories of how good it was for him where he was. If this does not happen often, it allows you to survive difficult circumstances. But, if this happens systematically, if a person begins to live in the past, then he will never become his own where he is now.
You know, there are people who left for another country and who, even after 10 years, have not learned the language, who watch television broadcasts from their home country and communicate exclusively with their compatriots. Then the question arises, why was all this necessary, if here in a new place there is only your body, and your consciousness, thoughts, feelings are about something completely different? This is, at a minimum, difficult to bear and can cause serious suffering and contradictions. It is quite obvious that this is not an adaptation, but, in fact, a trap into which a person places himself voluntarily.
For normal adaptation, you will need to behave in exactly the opposite way.
Changing place of residence or the psychology of moving
Many people face this problem, because it is very difficult both financially and psychologically. However, there are certain rules, following which you can reduce to a minimum the damage and loss of things, emotional unrest and material costs. In our article we will tell you about these rules.
How to survive a move
If the problem of moving concerns you mainly in the emotional and psychological aspects, then you can solve it in several ways.
If you still experience some hesitation regarding your decision to change your place of residence and do not know whether you did the right thing, then, first of all, use the following proven method - on a piece of paper, list all the pros and cons of moving him, then it will be easy for you to understand which side has the advantage.
After that, tear off the part that outlines the positive points and place it in the most visible place. Every time you re-read the advantages awaiting you in a new home, you will be able to come to a positive perception of this fact and understand how to survive the move as painlessly and easily as possible.
This reason for dismissal does not imply a mandatory two-week period of work.
No one is responsible but you
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Realize well that your adaptation to a new place depends only on you. This is only your responsibility. No one will or should be responsible for this, but only you. You and perhaps no one else needs this. So it's your decision and your responsibility. It is very important. This understanding makes your thinking constructive and focused on solving problems, rather than expecting some mythical help.
Seven mental exercises to stop worrying
Learn a language
The language barrier becomes the main cause of stress for many. One friend who moved to France said: “I just feel like a little helpless child. I come to a cafe or store and they talk to me like I’m an idiot.” Perhaps no one considered Katya an idiot, but her inability to explain herself to adults gave rise to thoughts of her own stupidity. I believe that the best way to learn a language is through courses. This way you will meet more people who have similar feelings and are in a similar situation. Eventually, you will have your own party. After I passed the A1 level exam, I began to feel more confident, began to communicate with native speakers and go to cultural events, cinema and theater - in a word, I again fell into my Moscow rhythm. Before that, I was simply cut off from the world.
Adhere to the local cultural code
Even in different cities of the same country there are certain differences in the rules of behavior. Moreover, even within the boundaries of one point they will also not be homogeneous. But, you can always identify the group with which you identify. There may be several such associations - in terms of finances, manner of speech, and corresponding values, type of occupation, way of life. Adhere to the rules of behavior that exist in the group you want to join.
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Your task is not to copy people so much that they consider you absolutely their own - this is not necessary. Your task consists of two parts: so that your behavior is sufficient so that it does not “hurt” the eyes of other people and, secondly, so that you gain enough experience to assign the status of “local resident” to yourself.
Be flexible
If you move somewhere, then you must understand that the lifestyle, thoughts, values, and behavior of people there may be different. If you think that you can remain yourself as you were before, and at the same time become yourself in a new place, then this is a naive understanding of reality. It doesn't happen that way. You should remember that the way you are used to living is not the only “correct” way. In fact, there is no right way to live at all. And what could be valuable to you may cause indulgent smiles in another community. Try to change your worldview, there is nothing wrong with that. Don't forget that by giving up something, you simply gain something else. Be flexible
Depression after moving
Hello! I don’t know where to turn anymore. I'm terribly sad about the old apartment and the new one is not nice. I'll start all over again. I lived in Europe, the guy lived in Chelyabinsk. We finally decided to move in together. The guy offered to start a new life in Moscow. Together we chose a rented two-room apartment on the Internet in a new residential complex, which we liked. It was renovated and had the design that I had always dreamed of. At that time, it didn’t matter to us where the apartment was located. We moved. There was so much joy! I really liked the apartment itself. But the place she was in was not very good. No, the yard itself was good, the dog could be let out without a leash, because cars didn’t go there, fenced off, so to speak. But the accessibility to the metro... that was something. There were two options: 1. Walk to the bus stop for 15 minutes, wait for the bus, then go to the metro for 20-30 minutes, depending on traffic jams. 2. Travel by minibus for the same amount of time to the bus stop, paying not in threes, but in cash (50 rubles), and then also by bus to the metro. I always chose the first option. But to get to my friends, I had to drive two hours to Moscow. The apartment itself was in Khimki. But okay. The guy found a job a month later, and he also had to travel 2 hours. So we lived there for more than six months. We have experienced both good and bad moments. I still liked the apartment itself. It had all the conveniences. And the kitchen is large, and there are many cabinets, everything can be neatly stored. It was difficult for the guy to always get to work for 2 hours and we made the decision that we needed to move. Well, how could it be otherwise? I don’t have a car... Spending 4 hours every day on a trip was also stupid. I didn’t want to move AT ALL, but I had to. Yes, I, too, was irritated by these two-hour trips to Moscow, but the apartment itself really sunk into my soul. The guy was dragging his feet on finding a new apartment. As a result, the day before leaving, we found a one-room apartment near his work and moved. An ordinary apartment, old renovated, small. But the metro is two steps away. Now everything about it is starting to irritate me... And it’s not right, there are few shelves, and there’s only one room. I understand that it was necessary to at least somehow leave her, but sadness has been haunting me since the morning. Since the guy wants an apartment close to work, we can’t afford a two-room apartment. That's why we have to live in a one-room apartment. I don't know how to get used to the new one. Who had such cases when, when moving to another apartment, there was depression and how did you cope? Thank you very much for your advice.
Ask for help
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When you're in a new place, you'll need someone to teach you behaviors that will help you fit in faster. In addition, if you can find such a person, or group of people, this is also a great opportunity to make first acquaintances, since most people like to look after someone, so you may get a lot of useful information and good friends. You can find such people at work, or among your friends who may live somewhere nearby.
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Moving to another city, where to start
To smooth out the negative aspects of moving to another city, you need to prepare in advance for a change of residence.
Selecting a region and city. If you are moving from the Far North or Far East, you must remember that a dramatic change in climate can negatively affect your health.
Therefore, it is worth choosing milder climatic conditions. Young people can cope with moving easily if there are no serious health problems, but older people - not always.
In any case, both need to consult with their doctor and follow his recommendations during the move.
Hobbies and additional education. When everyday issues fade into the background, a feeling of loneliness makes you think about looking for a new environment. To do this, you can, firstly, enroll in courses or enroll in a second higher education. As an alternative, you can get a dog, and there will definitely be people on your walk with whom you will have at least one common theme.
Moving plan. You can calculate the cost of transporting things using an online calculator, which is easy to find on the Internet. With its help, you will understand how expensive it will be to pack everything you need, including furniture, personal and small items that you hate to throw away and want to take with you.
Regularity
Good and quick adaptation is facilitated by the consistency of your actions. Any regularity. For example, every Saturday or every evening you go to your favorite coffee shop and buy a glass of coffee, not forgetting to say a few words to the bartender. Or, attend something other than work. Sports club, fitness, drawing club, in general, anything. This is both new acquaintances and additional entertainment. Find out what the people at your job are doing. Perhaps it is customary there to attend some events collectively. Be sure to participate in this.
Go to cultural events
I usually keep track of interesting events in the city through Facebook in the “Events” section. The same CouchSurfing and sites like our Yandex.Afisha also help. At first, I watched the events only in English. For example, cinema and opera with subtitles, as well as concerts and exhibitions where knowledge of the language is, in principle, not necessary. I also went to performances by Russian musicians several times, and this is also a great way to meet new people. I would like to note that now I attend many more events than a couple of years ago in Moscow. Probably, the measured European life and short distances make themselves felt.
Communicate on social networks
A new location does not mean that you need to cut off all old contacts. Fortunately, supporting them in our time is easy and simple - through social networks and other means of fast communication. So periodic contact with old friends, colleagues, family instills peace and confidence in you. If you have not yet fully adapted to a new place, old contacts support you and prevent you from being disappointed in yourself.
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Andrey Petrakov
Hello! This is a blog on psychology, in which significant attention is paid to the topics of psychological violence - abuse, narcissism, relationships, personal crises, taking responsibility for one's life, increasing self-esteem, existential problems. The cost of consulting a psychologist is 3000 rubles/hour, in person (Moscow, Maryina Roshcha metro station), or via Skype About us/Make an appointment
Latest materials: (See all)
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Meet the locals
Start doing this as early as possible. They will show you the best bars, cool places and teach you the dirtiest curse words (where would we be without them!).
I use Tinder for dating, although I have a boyfriend. I just set up a search for men and women and wrote in my profile that I’m not looking for sex or romantic relationships - and it works! This is how I found some wonderful people. If you're single, it's even easier for you: dating and being in a relationship with a native speaker is the best cure for depression. I also really like the Hangouts feature in the travel app CouchSurfing. There you can indicate what you want to do in the next few hours (I usually write that I want to chat in Czech), and those who want to join my activity can write to me and make an appointment. Of course, you can look for new friends not only in online applications. People I know go to yoga, ballroom dancing, language clubs, expat parties, play music in squares and run in parks.
