Incredible facts
“Love is the greatest thing in life” (Pablo Picasso).
Over time, Pablo Picasso changed his painting style, and each change was accompanied by a new page in his life.
For example, after his friend Carlos Casagemas committed suicide, a blue-green
stage of creativity,
the pink
one came when Pablo fell in love with the artist Fernande Olivier.
When it comes to our own lives, every person becomes an artist.
Despite the fact that we all know that love is a great gift, over time it slowly fades away
.
The ability to carry this amazing feeling through all adversity without losing it is an art that everyone should comprehend.
Once the image and voice of a beloved man has already been imprinted in a woman’s heart, it is not so easy for them to simply disappear from there, so often a woman remains faithful to her man much longer than he deserves.
Despite the fact that the vast majority of women will not be able to give up their feelings without trying to save the sinking ship, there are several simple ways in which you can easily lose your loved one forever.
Self-development.
As soon as you stop in your development and self-improvement, you can consider that you have already lost it.
Girls love promising men. Those who set goals for themselves and go towards them. The kind who don’t lie around on the couch drinking beer for days, but get up an hour earlier and go to the gym.
You should not sit in one position for five years, receiving a meager salary. Develop in terms of your career, reach new heights, change your field of activity if necessary.
Do everything so that you can be proud of yourself.
Don't forget about sports. Of course, your girlfriend doesn't love you for your looks. But, believe me, it will be much more pleasant for her to touch your athletic, pumped-up body than your beer belly.
Don’t lower the bar, keep all your promises, or don’t make them at all, don’t turn into a henpecked and amoeba.
Romance.
Women are very sensual people. And, no matter how much you date, they will always expect a romantic dinner, a spontaneous trip, an invitation to a date, or a nice surprise at home from you.
As soon as your girlfriend stops receiving all this, thoughts will creep into her head that not everything is going smoothly with you. To prevent this, do not forget about the pleasant little things.
Sometimes invite her to dinner (without children and friends) just the two of you. Remember how you spent your time when you first started dating. Go back to those times, talk to her. And not about work/home, but try to get to know her better, get to know her again. Sometimes bring flowers, give compliments. To make a girl feel loved.
Legal points: what can a husband do to prevent his wife from getting a divorce?
Can a man legally prevent a divorce?
If a spouse has filed an application for divorce in the absence of the consent of the second spouse, then the law provides for mandatory consideration of this application in court.
But even the absence of the husband’s approval for divorce will not become an obstacle to making a decision, since the law provides for a unilateral divorce procedure (a very sensible article, be sure to read it!).
The only thing the husband can do is to ask the court to give a period for reconciliation, citing the fact that he intends to save his family. This is exactly what lawyers advise.
In this case, especially if there are children, the court suspends the consideration of the case and gives a conciliation period of three months. If during this conciliation period the husband does not convince his wife to change the decision, he will not have the opportunity to postpone the decision.
So that later in a hurry you don’t torment yourself with questions of saving your family, you shouldn’t forget here and now that there may not be a second chance. A family is the same as a job where there are no vacations, days off or sick leave.
Maybe you have your own experience in this matter? Share it in the comments!
Emotions.
She shouldn't be bored in her relationship with you. Don’t forget to give her bright and unforgettable emotions. You shouldn't spend every evening at home. This lifestyle will drive any person crazy.
And no matter how much a girl loves you, one day she will get bored with all this. Don't forget to arrange cool dates for her that will be different from each other.
Let her get adrenaline and a new charge on dates with you. Give her a certificate for a parachute jump, go to an amusement park, buy tickets for the weekend to another city.
Be a man.
In your relationship, you are in charge and you rule. It is this realization that can keep your girlfriend with you for many years to come.
Finding a person who is responsible for his words, is responsible, and surrounds him with care and attention is quite difficult for a girl. If you have such qualities, then your chances are great.
Be firm and adamant with her. Show that she can be capricious anywhere, just not with you.
This may seem too practical to you, but every girl wants a person next to her who will share household and financial responsibilities. As soon as you stop performing your direct male functions, a woman will notice it.
You must not forget that relationships are not only pleasure and joy, it is also work, and daily work.
When the wife filed for divorce
“Divorce is possibly the best thing that can happen in your life. A good marriage will not begin as long as the old one continues.”
Hello, Roman Vinilov is in touch again!
And again we will talk about marriage. To be honest, it is the readers who pay such attention to the stamp in the passport. In fact, the situation when a wife filed for divorce is not much different from a regular breakup. But it is precisely the invisible connection that official marriage creates in people’s brains that often helps preserve relationships. As always, there are important nuances here, which is why I decided to write an article. The fact is that marriage does have some force, including legal force, but relationships today cannot rest on it alone.
Likewise, when divorcing a marriage, you will need more than just the help of a lawyer (although you should not neglect it, especially if you are divorcing through the court). In a situation where a wife wants to file for divorce, the advice of a psychologist is no less important. They will help you “save face” and get out of the situation with the least losses, and in the future, give your relationship another chance. If by then you need it, of course.
Get on with your life.
If your social circle has shrunk beyond recognition, and you spend all your free time only with her, this is bad.
A man who has nothing but a girlfriend in his life quickly becomes boring.
There is nothing to talk about with him, he cannot bring anything new into the girl’s life, he does not develop and does not improve himself.
What is left of him in this case?
Never focus solely on a girl. Always find time for yourself, your friends, sports, and other hobbies. Your life should be full and varied.
We find out the reason for the girl’s leaving and learn to prevent it
Psychologists identify several main reasons that contribute to the breakdown of relationships between lovers:
- Excessive desire of the stronger sex for leading positions in partner relationships. A situation often arises when a man abuses his natural tendency to dominate and completely suppresses his partner. The impulsiveness inherent in a woman, after a certain period of patience, ends in an emotional explosion, almost always leading to a breakup. It's never too late to stop ruling over your other half, and learn to find mutual understanding through calm negotiations.
- Excessive jealousy on your part is not only a sign of lack of self-confidence, but also a poison that kills harmony in the most ideal relationships. In order to prevent the most disastrous ending, you will need to make some efforts and find the positive sides in yourself. Try to make your own strengths visible to others.
- Learn to indulge your beloved's whims within reasonable limits. If any desire is fulfilled unquestioningly and with lightning speed, then this indicates that the guy does not have a firm position in life. And all women respect strong partners.
- But it’s practically not worth breaking copies and looking for an answer to the question of how to return your beloved woman in a situation when she leaves for another and intends to link her fate with him.
There is probably no need to ruin her life in the latter case. Let everything take its course.
Plan your future together.
Confidence in the future is very important for girls. If a man doesn’t give it, the relationship ends very quickly. Remember this simple rule and try to put it into practice.
Talk to her about your common future. Discuss where you will go on vacation in the summer, what you will have in a year, how you see the further development of events.
Start such conversations from time to time or do not avoid them when the girl herself wants to talk about something similar. Try to use the word “we” and not “I” in your speech.
Why do women decide to get divorced?
There are many reasons for deciding to divorce. It will not be possible to list them all, since each family is individual, and the reasons for its disintegration can be very diverse.
Among the most common reasons why women make the final decision to divorce are:
- husband's addiction to alcohol or illegal substances. Even if a man does not drink strong drinks, but drinks beer every day, this makes him think about the future of the family;
- betrayal, presence of a mistress;
- financial problems, lack of income from the husband (permanent, stable);
- domestic violence, both physical and psychological;
- habit. After many years of living together, people often “cool down” towards each other, so one of the parties decides to separate and look for a new relationship;
- lack of own living space, living together with parents, domestic problems;
- dissatisfaction in sexual life.
All reasons are subjective, since one family can have several problems at the same time.
Remember the changes.
When everything stays in one place, boredom sets in in a relationship.
You must become the source of changes that your girlfriend will certainly appreciate. Make sure that you are an example for her, so that she follows you, and you can teach her something.
Give her advice, show involvement in her life, don’t be afraid to change something radically. If something doesn’t work out for her, then there is no need to criticize. Try to find a way out of this situation together with her.
You should be an authority for her, a person with whom she is calm and not afraid of anything.
The wife wants a divorce, but the husband doesn’t want to: what to do - advice from psychologists
The reasons why women take such a difficult step are different:
- Material (debts, lack of own housing, etc.);
- Behavioral (betrayal, frequent minor quarrels, misunderstandings, etc.);
- Psychological (jealousy, lack of sex or dissatisfaction with a partner, loss of feelings, etc.).
Often, men do not notice the critical point in a relationship until the spouse raises the issue head-on and files for divorce.
And here the spouse begins to puzzle over how to save the family and what happened, what are the real reasons?
The only correct solution to the problem, suitable for any family, can be a conversation.
The husband must show the attention and patience of his wife; she herself will most likely admit the truth of the reasons for the decision made or will make it clear unambiguously what is wrong in the family.
There is no need to put pressure and blame her for the failure of your family , thereby trying to justify yourself. This behavior escalates the situation and reinforces her desire to get a divorce.
Eliminate jealousy and suspicion.
There is no need to harass your girlfriend with or without reason. You shouldn’t bother her with calls, control and monitor her every move.
This kind of behavior only kills relationships. You must learn to trust and somehow cope with your attacks of jealousy.
Every person needs freedom and personal space. If you can't give it to a girl, then it's only natural that she'll get tired. Learn to be more restrained, control your emotional outbursts and not find fault with every little thing.
How to return a wife who left for another man?
One of the most difficult options is for the wife to leave for another man. This situation does not allow one to count on independent resolution or a change in the wife’s opinion regarding the need for a divorce.
First of all, you need to navigate the situation and not do anything stupid under the influence of emotions. This will not benefit future reconciliation, but will work against it.
After this, the husband will need to develop his own tactics of behavior, since each case is unique.
Some mistakes you should not make:
- aggressive behavior. This position will not bring the desired result, so you should not start sorting things out with your wife about the presence of another man in her life and leaving home;
- attempts to put pressure on pity. Usually, in attempts to attract attention and gain a share of pity, a person only causes hostility;
- accusations and reproaches.
Watch yourself.
Even if you have been together for a hundred years, this does not give you the right to neglect yourself and not take care of your appearance.
Sweatpants and a stretched out tank top are not the best clothes to wear at home. A girl wants to see a neat and tidy man next to her.
Don't stop taking care of yourself and going to the gym. Watch your hairstyle and clothing style. Your things should always be clean and ironed.
Your girlfriend may be too sensitive to hint to you that you haven't been looking great lately.
What to do if your wife wants to file for divorce?
If the divorce has not yet occurred, then there are some measures that may (!) allow it to be avoided. However, this should not be an end in itself. If you try with all your might to maintain a relationship, it usually does exactly the opposite. At first, both of you will be nervous and in a fit of emotions you can deepen the gap even further, right up to mutual disgust for each other. It will take time before she calms down, is able to look at the situation from a different angle and maybe - just maybe (!) - agrees to return. You will also need time to comprehend what happened and, most likely, change radically (and not for her sake, but for your own sake).
The very fact that your wife filed for divorce indicates a dead end and the impossibility of your relationship in the previous format. Do not be afraid that if you refuse to keep your spouse from taking this step, you will lose her forever. Statistics say that during the first year, most divorce initiators doubt whether they did the right thing, or even regret their decision. This is especially true for women. Even after starting to date someone else, in moments of difficulties that are inevitable in a new relationship, she will remember all the good things that happened between you. She may not remember these good moments while she is too offended by you, but she is unlikely to forget them at all. And you will still have many chances to get her back - of course, if you don’t mess things up at the very beginning.
So, for the first time after the breakup:
- Accept her decision . Your wife wants to file for divorce, and you discussed it calmly. Let her know that you are of the opinion “you can’t force yourself to be nice.” In this case, it doesn’t matter how you feel about her, this will help you avoid questions and provocations in the style of: “You won’t even try to stop me?” The fact is that in the first stages after the spouse has voiced such a decision, any attempts to stop her will only be harmful. If she is serious, your promises to fix everything or assurances of love are unlikely to inspire trust. If she only wanted to scare you with the divorce, your violent reaction will give her a reason to use this technique whenever any problems arise. In a word, to the question “What to do if the wife wants to file for divorce?” the most correct answer would be “Keep calm and do not give in to blackmail.”
- Eliminate the showdown . Especially if you used to fight often. Now you need to make sure that all negativity disappears between you, and if you discuss who is right or wrong, or make claims to each other, then a huge amount of negative emotions cannot be avoided. And in general, take this as a rule: sorting out relationships is for women. By entering into disputes and mutual accusations, you will not be able to prove that you are right, but will only leave a bad impression of yourself. I am often asked, what should I do if my wife files for divorce and at the same time provokes a scandal, accuses her and demands a showdown? Try not to participate in this. Answer briefly and calmly, or better yet, simply leave the house - it is impossible to make a row with someone who is not there.
- Communicate only about business . Don't just talk to her. Don't talk about your feelings or what you think about the divorce. At the same time, behave confidently, but politely. Try not to show emotions and don't act like a child who has been hurt. Maintain your dignity. If anger or resentment is boiling inside you, and you want to express to her “everything that hurts” - under no circumstances be led by your feelings. Better talk to a friend, go for a run or go to the gym, or get some relief in any other way.
- Give her freedom . Stop controlling her and being jealous, because by doing this you only show how much she means to you. Let him do what he wants and communicate with whomever he wants. Within reason, of course. As long as you are not divorced and live under the same roof, there are no outside relationships. Otherwise - suitcase/station/father's house. But do not arrange interrogations so as not to look ridiculous - act only if you receive clear evidence of betrayal.
- Start a new life . Right now. The first thing you need to do if your wife has filed for divorce is to take care of yourself and your own affairs. Start doing everything you ever dreamed of before. Take up unexpected hobbies, go to the gym, buy yourself new clothes, get a new haircut. Your budgets can be divided right now - let him stop receiving money from you. But there is one exception: if you have children together, refusing to participate financially in their maintenance will work against you in every sense. However, no one is stopping you from paying for your children’s needs and purchasing the necessary things for them.
- Spend less time at home . Meet your friends. Take a vacation and go somewhere. You are getting a divorce, which means you are absolutely free. Moreover, on her initiative, so you even have every right to communicate with girls. But don’t discuss this with her - keep the meaningful intrigue. Spending as little time as possible at home when your wife has filed or is about to file for divorce is also worth it because in this case you have less risk of being drawn into a showdown. Try to make sure that the situation does not shake you emotionally - find a way to distract yourself.
