Psychology of an alcoholic
For a long time, scientists have studied the psychology of alcoholics. As a result of the research, it became clear that a person does not have any specific feature that would characterize him as prone to alcoholism. This means that anyone can be exposed to this disease. Even temperament does not play a special role: anyone can become an alcoholic.
Alcohol abuse affects habits, character and appearance. Initially, a person who drinks from time to time and a chronic alcoholic are strikingly different, but over time they become similar to each other. Here we are talking about leveling the personality, that is, complete degradation. Addicts do not want to admit that they are sick, and unanimously repeat that they drink for fun, but they do not notice that their mental health is already impaired.
People tend to underestimate the severity of this disease; this applies not only to alcoholics, but also to their relatives. Lectures on the dangers of alcohol and other moral teachings will not save anyone; a sick person will assent, but will do it his own way. To understand how to behave with an alcoholic, you must first understand the character traits of the sick person.
Psychological assistance for alcohol and drug addiction
Alcoholism and drug addiction are diseases whose development is caused by a number of factors. Psychological reasons occupy a key place among them. Alcohol and drugs are often used by people to “get away” from problems, to make it easier to overcome certain difficulties, to cope with fear and difficult situations.
For more effective treatment of alcohol or drug addiction, psychological help is needed.
Determining the reasons that provoked the emergence of addiction. This allows you to begin to solve the problem, eliminate the difficulties that cause a person to use alcohol or drugs. The psychologist will help the patient understand what exactly underlies his addiction and understand that the problem can be solved in other ways.
Preparing for treatment. The patient may want to stop drinking or using drugs, but may not be ready to do so. In some cases, this is the fear of not being able to cope, of breaking down, of returning to the previous way of life. In others, there is an environment, a social circle that prevents one from overcoming addiction. The task of a psychologist is to identify factors that can negatively affect the outcome of drug addiction (alcoholism) treatment and help the patient cope with them.
Support during therapy. Fighting any addiction is hard. If physical symptoms, malaise, and withdrawal symptoms can be relieved with medication, then psychological problems will require the intervention of a specialist. During therapy, it is important for a person to be confident in his abilities, determined to achieve results, and ready to overcome the difficulties that arise.
Working with loved ones. In addition to the services of a psychologist, the support of loved ones and their participation is required. It is important not to create conflict situations, not to provoke breakdowns, and to maintain a positive attitude. During consultations, the psychologist will warn about possible difficulties and talk about ways to overcome them. The participation of loved ones is very important: they must adhere to a common strategy with the doctor. If the patient is in a comfortable psychological environment both in the clinic and at home, rehabilitation will be easier.
Social, psychological rehabilitation. Alcohol and drug addiction destroy social ties: a person loses communication skills with people around him, he can avoid contact, and have a negative attitude towards people who want to help him. Addressing these issues is an important step in treatment. A psychologist will help restore and normalize relationships within the family, restore lost communication skills, and restore balance so that not only the physical well-being, but also the psychological state of the patient is stable.
Completion of rehabilitation. Addiction destroys a person’s personality, depriving him of interests, prospects, and taking up all his time. When the main course of therapy has been completed, it is important to find new guidelines and use the new time and opportunities productively. At this stage, the psychologist helps the patient form new goals, make immediate plans, and determine a strategy for further actions: in personal, professional, and other aspects.
Alcohol and drug addiction are accompanied by:
- anxiety states;
- fears;
- aggressiveness;
- feeling of shame;
- depression;
- neuroses;
- irritability;
- feelings of shame or loneliness;
- depressed state.
These symptoms may persist for some time after quitting alcohol and even intensify during the early stages of alcoholism treatment. Psychological help is needed to learn how to overcome them.
Character
Firstly, every alcoholic is stubborn. The patient is clearly confident that he is his own master and no one has the right to teach him. If relatives and close friends start telling him what to do, this will lead to conflicts. In this case, normal relationships may collapse.
Secondly, it is important to understand that a person with alcoholism can behave normally in society, share impressions, communicate with friends, but as soon as he is left alone with himself, he will immediately begin to experience disturbing thoughts, often of a suicidal nature.
Thirdly, in order to behave correctly with an alcoholic, you somehow need to adapt to the fact that such people have seven Fridays a week: today he realized the seriousness of his illness, but tomorrow he will beat himself in the chest with his fist and loudly declare that he a full-fledged member of society, and he has no problems.
And fourthly, all alcoholics firmly believe that they can quit their addiction at any time, but they need to drink at a specific moment.
Endurance and patience
An alcoholic is a person who is often unable to control his emotions and behavior. If loved ones also have a lack of control, this leads to the formation of a kind of “vicious circle”.
You need to be aware that there is a sick person nearby. Not “ill-mannered”, not “bad”, but sick. He needs special treatment. And in order to evoke the right response in him, you need to structure your behavior accordingly. There are two extremes to be wary of:
- The first extreme is a negative attitude. The drinker experiences a deep psychological crisis, but denies it in every possible way. Few turn to loved ones for support. At the same time, they are very sensitive to negative attitudes from others. Quarrels and reproaches further reduce self-esteem, and in response to this, more powerful defense mechanisms are activated. They often provoke retaliatory aggression. Of course, manifestations of negativism on the part of relatives and friends are understandable: it is difficult to live next to someone who drinks. But it is worth remembering that conflicts will not lead to anything good: they will only worsen the situation.
- The second extreme is excessive pity. People with weakened willpower and a reduced ability to take responsibility and make decisions are most predisposed to alcoholism. Pity from loved ones and excessive care contribute to the aggravation of these character traits. Parents especially often make this mistake. During or after treatment, they try to fulfill every whim of their child, to make sure that he does not need anything.
According to the advice of psychologists, you should not behave this way. Your task is to return a full-fledged, independent person to society. With excessive care, the patient feels dependent on his family, he weanes himself from making decisions and being responsible for them. As a result, he is not able to fully adapt to life in society. He constantly needs someone to look after him, otherwise he again returns to the addiction as the only means of salvation.
What do psychologists say?
When talking about how to behave with an alcoholic, psychologists advise treating them as people with a mental illness. After all, an alcoholic and an alcoholic are people who need medical treatment and psychological support. Only by contacting a psychologist can you find out the exact cause of this disease. The specialist will tell you how to find leverage over a person and how to behave with an alcoholic.
There are usually several causes of alcoholism:
- Death of a loved one.
- Finding meaning at the bottom of a glass.
- Misunderstanding of others.
- Loss of a loved one (divorce, infidelity, etc.).
- Belief in your exclusivity. Single people perceive others as enemies, stupid people who do not understand anything in this life.
- Feelings of guilt and worthlessness.
Help for alcohol addiction
Specialists of the rehabilitation center Personality provide assistance with addiction
of different nature. The program includes assistance in physical overcoming addiction and psychological rehabilitation. Work is also carried out with the patient’s environment, since in most cases, relatives of addicted people do not know how to behave correctly during the rehabilitation period.
Getting used to a new life after completely stopping drugs occurs over the course of several months. If the patient is monitored during this period, then possible breakdowns will be prevented. A person can be considered completely free of addiction if, after a period of rehabilitation, he does not feel the desire to use a drug that was previously addictive.
Tags: drug addiction rehabilitation, drug rehabilitation, drug addiction rehabilitation, drug addiction rehabilitation, addiction help
Neurolinguistic programming
Everyone has heard about techniques that can be used to code a person, thereby freeing him from the craving for alcohol. However, this is only possible with his consent, and no one guarantees that such a method will turn the patient away from the addiction forever. The remission period is 2-3 years.
On the other hand, progress does not stand still. NLP (neurolinguistic programming) has been used for a long time. So how to deal with an alcoholic? The number one advice from a psychologist is to bring him to an appointment with an NLP specialist. The specificity of this method is that the patient is influenced at the psycho-emotional level. The main goal of such influence is to restore the natural program of life activity in the subconscious, to recreate moral values and aversion to alcoholic beverages.
Treatment methods for alcoholism
Depending on the stage of alcoholism, the patient’s treatment time is calculated. You cannot force a person to undergo treatment; he must seek help himself. If someone suffering from alcohol addiction refuses help, you need to motivate them and give them a positive picture of a sober lifestyle.
The latter is what psychologists do, using the psychological method of treatment for alcoholism. This is a powerful method: by influencing a person’s consciousness and understanding of their problem, you can get rid of alcohol addiction forever.
There are also physical methods based on taking medications and undergoing procedures. These methods can help the body rid itself of toxins. And protect the body from the need to take a new dose of alcohol to improve well-being. There is a distinction between male and female alcoholism, but in essence there is no difference; these types are treated in the same way.
Psychotherapist Galushchak A.V. about treatment methods on the “Health-Saving Channel” channel.
Coding
The most popular way to cope with drunkenness. A psychologist instills in an alcoholic a ban on drinking alcohol. In this case, the person must stop drinking during the coding process. Result: the patient experiences disgust at the sight of alcohol and fear. If he still drinks alcohol, the body will reject it and the hangover will worsen. Duration of action of the method: up to one year.
Medicines
Used in the form of drops, injections, tablets. Basically, the method is combined with the work of a psychologist. He is the one who writes prescriptions for medications for alcoholism.
Stages of treatment at this level:
- relieving hangover symptoms;
- decreased desire to drink;
- treatment of psychological dependence;
- cleansing the body of toxins.
Drug treatment is sometimes used without the knowledge of the patient.
Medicinal products for the treatment of alcoholism:
Medicine | Characteristic |
Colma – from 350 rubles per ampoule | Drops are tasteless and odorless. Chronic alcoholism is treated. Action: causing aversion to alcohol. |
Teturam – 169 rubles | A potent medicine used for patients in a severe stage of alcoholism and who do not respond to treatment with other drugs. Available in tablet form. Action: blocks the breakdown of alcohol, causing poisoning of the body. The patient develops a reflex of unpleasant symptoms associated with drinking alcohol. |
Alcobarrier – 990 rubles | An effective herbal preparation - dietary supplement. Available in the form of a serum without taste or odor. Action: restores liver function, causes aversion to alcohol. |
Esperal – 1300 rubles | Increases the concentration of alcohol in the blood, causing severe poisoning of the body. Action: forms a reflex of aversion to drinking alcoholic beverages. |
Tetlong-250 – from 650 rubles per ampoule | Available in the form of injections. Action: causes aversion to alcohol. Works with liver enzymes: prevents acetaldehyde from breaking down into acetic acid. Because of this, when drinking alcohol, a person receives severe poisoning with a toxic substance. |
Hypnosis
In Russia, this method of treating alcoholism has been used since 1948. This is a psychological method of influencing human consciousness. Can be used without medications.
Positive aspects of the method:
- the body is not loaded with medications;
- valid for a long period;
- eliminates depression, depression.
With the help of hypnosis, the doctor understands why a person has become dependent on alcohol and works with this problem. At the level of consciousness, the specialist instills indifference to alcohol. After the course of treatment, the patient does not experience fear and hatred, only loses the craving for drinking alcohol, and can stop drinking on his own.
Acupuncture
You can rid a person of a bad habit by influencing a certain point on the body. Procedure: special silver needles are inserted into points of the human body, creating a massage effect. Each point is responsible for a specific process in the body. Acupuncture affects these areas of the body, restoring the functioning of organs, increasing a person’s tone and reducing the need for alcohol.
Before acupuncture, it is necessary to cleanse the body of toxins. For effective treatment, the patient must completely abstain from drinking alcohol.
Advantages of the method:
- no need to take medications that burden the body;
- the functioning of organs and the nervous system is restored;
- endorphins are produced.
Acupuncture is most often combined with coding.
Laser treatment
The method is based on the impact of a light beam on certain points of the human body, often on the eyes and face. The laser acts on a person’s subconscious, removing the desire to drink.
The treatment is aimed at ensuring that the body naturally stops depending on and stops drinking alcohol. With the help of a computer, an individual course is selected for each person, increasing the chances of cure. During the course you are also required to abstain from alcohol.
Folk remedies for alcoholism
Those who do not like to cooperate with doctors and medical institutions are treated for addiction at home. These methods are unscientific, but effective and have positive reviews on the Internet.
Traditional treatment methods:
- Decoction of club moss. This is a poisonous plant that causes nausea and vomiting after drinking alcohol. A conditioned reflex is developed.
- Bay leaf drink. It also begins to act after alcohol enters the stomach. Causes intestinal poisoning.
- Dish with dung mushrooms. The mushrooms themselves are not dangerous to human health. They have a strong effect on the body when combined with alcohol. Dung beetles slow down the breakdown of alcohol into acetic acid. The body is poisoned by toxins. After using this method, a person will feel unwell for two days.
- Bearberry tincture. More often used in the fight against beer alcoholism. To be effective, you need to drink the decoction every day. The plant itself has an antimicrobial and disinfectant effect. Restores the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract.
You can get rid of alcoholism yourself at home using earthworm tincture. The tincture disinfects the body and supplies amino acids, which worms are rich in. This boosts a person's immunity.
The tincture is prepared as follows:
- Worms need to be collected before July, when their mucus is not yet poisonous.
- Then they need to be cleaned of dirt, washed and filled with one glass of vodka.
- Place the container in a dark place for 3 weeks.
The strained tincture is taken one tablespoon three times a day. The infusion can be stored in the refrigerator for one year.
If the patient’s well-being worsens, it is necessary to stop taking the tincture and turn to other methods of treatment.
A drinker can quit alcohol on his own as a result of treatment with honey. Honey is rich in potassium; it is believed that this is the element that people who are drawn to drink lack.
On the first day, instead of an alcohol product, the drinker is given honey, 6 tablespoons 3 times a day. You cannot drink alcohol on this day. On the second day the procedure is repeated. Self-medication lasts two days. This should significantly reduce your cravings for alcohol.
Baking soda can also help with addiction. Soda cleanses internal organs, removing toxic substances. Preparation of the drink is simple: take one teaspoon of soda for one glass of water. The patient is given this mixture to drink and then vomited. The soda drink is taken until the stomach is cleared of contents.
The method dehydrates the body. It is imperative to restore the water balance with non-carbonated drinks after the procedure.
Living with an alcoholic
A drinking person can be easily recognized in a crowd: he has an unsteady gait, an unkempt appearance, red and swollen eyes. Such a person, as a rule, has already lost his family or is on the verge of divorce. After all, the pleasure of communicating with a drinker is very dubious, and what can you actually talk about with him if he has only two problems on his agenda: where to get booze and how to get rid of a hangover.
No matter how sad it may sound, democracy and personal freedom of everyone have given drinkers complete carte blanche. Today, sobering-up centers and compulsory treatment for alcoholism no longer exist. Narcologists help only on the condition that the alcoholic himself turns to them. Party meetings at enterprises, when the team had a serious conversation with a person who had stumbled, have long since sunk into oblivion. Families of alcoholics, in fact, have nowhere to turn.
Although, on the other hand, our people are used to drinking. Such is the mentality in Russia that not a single holiday in any apartment is complete without alcohol. But where they know when to stop, everything is fine. Families exist normally, without quarrels and scandals. Others suffer for a long time with this problem or solve everything with a drastic method:
- The wife files for divorce.
- Picks up the children.
- Leaving.
How should the wife of an alcoholic behave?! Certainly not to forgive or tolerate, especially if she has children in her arms. An alcoholic husband has only two choices - either he becomes an alcoholic, or he takes the right path. Typically, those who decide to cope with the problem on their own do not turn to a psychologist because they consider it a weakness. But as practice shows, willpower in this case is everything. It's a pity that 90% of drinkers don't have it.
Make a choice
It is worth noting that it is never too late to help a person, the main thing is that he himself wants to change. We need to find those very notorious levers of influence that will force a person to rethink his behavior and take the right path. On the other hand, relatives of a drinker should understand that alcohol is not an enemy that can be defeated with one shot. Long months of rehabilitation are often required.
It is also worth considering the fact that any drinker will sooner or later begin to realize the harmfulness of this habit, but will not be able to admit it to himself, because he will not know how to behave without alcohol.
Speaking about how relatives of an alcoholic should behave, it is worth noting that they have three options to choose from:
- Come to terms with it.
- Fight.
- Give up on the patient and leave.
An alcoholic in the family poisons the life not only of himself, but also of those around him. He can drink away all his livelihood, start a scandal, fight or dance in the middle of the night. There is nothing to say about friends who share this lifestyle. Those who have lived with an alcoholic for a long time can give many examples of their behavior, from harmless and funny situations to the onset of delirium tremens.
Fighting addiction
To deal with an alcoholic in the family, you need to act together. Communication and frank dialogue are the key to business effectiveness. The chosen treatment method depends on the degree of development of alcoholism and its physiological consequences. Home treatment can be combined with outpatient treatment, when the patient is treated by a narcologist.
Stages of effective treatment:
- moral preparation for treatment;
- main stages of drug treatment;
- home treatment;
- rehabilitation;
- creating a new, fulfilling life.
The addict cannot resist alone: if he had enough strength, he would not find himself in such a situation. This is initially a weak-spirited person, and without the help of his family he will not be able to reach the end of treatment.
During treatment, consultations with a psychologist are necessary not only for the patient, but also for his close circle. Partner, children, parents - all these people are in a constant state of stress and fear. They are afraid of being powerless, weak in the face of addiction. Day after day they feel pressure, responsibility for a loved one who cannot cope with alcoholism.
Husband and wife
Women who were tolerant of drunkards often wondered how to help such a person. But it is worth noting that even the most patient spouse has a limit. How should the wife of an alcoholic behave? If she puts up with her husband’s behavior and gives up on him, then her life will be full of nightmares. And this will happen until her husband dies from alcohol intoxication or breaks the law.
Another option is for women to pack up and leave, and this is not the worst outcome. True, as statistics show, it is difficult for them to build new, full-fledged relationships, because subconsciously they feel guilty that they did not support their loved one at a difficult moment. Since it is extremely difficult to behave normally with an alcoholic in the family, the first thing a woman should do is remember why she fell in love with her husband. After all, there was a reason! Scroll through your memory of all the pleasant moments of life together, remember how he looked forward to the birth of his first child. He wasn’t always an alcoholic, it just happened that way, and we need to fight it.
What is alcohol addiction
Read more: how to relieve cravings for alcohol
In simple words, this addiction can be characterized like any other. After a person begins to drink large amounts of alcohol and this happens with a certain frequency, the body begins to get used to the high level of alcohol in the blood. Every person has these substances; they are necessary for the body to function, but they are at a minimal level. Once there are more of them and this amount cannot be removed naturally, the very addiction that everyone is talking about appears. The body can no longer be in a normal state; it is simply accustomed to the fact that there is a lot of alcohol in the blood and now requires constant replenishment.
In this case, you must understand how to help a person in this difficult situation. If you do nothing, then everything will end sadly, alcohol will lead to the failure of some organs, surgical intervention and complex treatment will be required, but, in most cases, everything ends in death. And if you are thinking about how to get rid of alcohol addiction, then this is already a very important step towards recovery. You can even get rid of addiction on your own, but it is quite difficult to do.
Proven Methods
So, how to behave correctly with an alcoholic husband? Here are some proven recommendations:
- Consult a psychologist and psychotherapist. It is extremely important to understand the true reasons for this behavior. A specialist will help an inconsolable woman look at the situation in a new way.
- Remove all alcoholic beverages from the house and begin to gradually remove all of your husband’s drinking buddies from the family nest.
- If the husband does not see the problem, there is no need to put pressure on him. However, if he asks his wife for her opinion, he needs to directly and calmly tell his claims and wishes.
- Reproaches, hysterics, scandals, threats are prohibited. A woman will really need a lot of patience to overcome her husband’s alcoholism, because she will need to find an approach to her husband.
- If a man does not see his illness, he will not change, so you need to force him to admit that he has an addiction.
- Don't forget about yourself. You need to take care of your appearance, find a job, learn an additional foreign language. In a word, engage in self-improvement, that is, show your husband a positive example of how you can live without drinking alcohol.
- An alcoholic cannot be justified by a lack of self-realization. There is no problem that cannot be solved. Moreover, you should not be a sick person’s nanny and follow him around.
- Until complex treatment begins, a woman needs to protect herself and her children from the negative influence of a drunken husband.
- You cannot hide an existing problem from others.
- You need to behave in such a way that your husband understands who he might lose.
Coding using the Dovzhenko method
This is one of the options for psychological assistance for patients with alcohol dependence. Such coding consists of a powerful suggestion, as a result of which an indifferent or negative attitude towards alcohol is developed. A series of sessions allows you to completely cope with addiction. Medical coding using the Dovzhenko method is performed by specialists who have been trained by the author of the method.
This coding is suitable for patients with good suggestibility. It is important that the person makes his own decision about treatment. Coding involves hypnotic suggestion. During hypnosis sessions, the psychologist forms attitudes towards refusing to drink alcohol.
Medical suggests supplementing coding using the Dovzhenko method with psychological rehabilitation and necessary therapy. A plan for consultations with a psychologist, medication and physiotherapeutic treatment is developed individually, depending on the patient’s health status, the stage of development of addiction, and his psychological characteristics.
What if it's the other way around?
In general, it is clear what needs to be done if the husband drinks. But if it’s the other way around, does the wife drink? How to behave with a woman who is an alcoholic?
If a wife likes to look into a glass, then the husband should understand that he can leave at any moment, but thereby push his wife to the very bottom of the abyss. First you need to find out the reason for this behavior and follow the recommendations:
- Make sure there is no alcohol in the house.
- Restrict a woman's finances so that she cannot afford to buy drinks outside the home.
- Moral support: do not scold, do not humiliate and do not frighten with divorce.
- Protect the woman from friends who are heavy drinkers.
- Do not drink alcohol alone or with a woman.
- Try not to go to guests, restaurants or presentations where the wife may lose control and get drunk.
- Don't leave her alone at home for a long time.
- Persuade her to see a specialist (in this regard, women are more pliable than men).
Aggression
Alcoholics are different. Someone will “grunt” and quietly go to bed, while someone will demand bread and circuses, and not receiving them, will begin to show aggression. So how to deal with an aggressive alcoholic?
- World peace. You need to learn to manage your emotions: not respond to outright provocations, ignore insults, calmly answer questions.
- Switching attention. For example, you can tell the drinker that he is dirty, so he needs to change his clothes.
- Agreement. You need to behave calmly and confidently and agree with what the drunk person says, promise what he demands at this moment, and continue to go about your business.
- Shock therapy. A bucket of cold water is what you need. The person will not only stop showing aggression, but will also understand that such behavior is unacceptable.
It is also strictly forbidden to reproach, blame, humiliate or insult an aggressive addict. You cannot buy him alcohol or give him money for it. It is also fraught with consequences to prevent him from drinking or taking away alcohol. And under no circumstances should you show your fear and weakness.
Fathers and Sons
If everything is clear with husbands and wives, then what should the mother of an alcoholic do? How should a poor woman behave if her son or daughter is aimlessly wasting their lives, constantly looking into a glass?
Of course, the love of parents knows no bounds, but its excess can become the very catalyst that led to drunkenness.
- You can't patronize. If a child is sold drinks, that means he is an adult. And if he is an adult, then he must be responsible for his actions. Stop calling every half hour, monitoring his every move, taking care of his diet, etc. Let your son or daughter do what they want, when they want. You need to scold not for drunkenness as such, but for the fact of antisocial behavior.
- Rebuild your life. How to deal with an alcoholic son or daughter? First, understand that this is a disease. Secondly, take care of money and precious things so that they are out of reach of the alcoholic. Third, remove all alcohol from the house.
- Subsequence. Set rules and make no exceptions or concessions.
- Independence. Let the alcoholic solve his problems himself. When they force him to capitulate, he will only be grateful. It is at that moment that he needs to be supported and helped.
It is extremely important to understand that alcoholism is not a congenital defect, but an acquired addiction; one can (even must) fight it.
Show the sick person that there are many amazing things in the world that are worth paying attention to. There is no need to patronize him, otherwise he will take it for granted. Let him understand that he also has a responsibility, which he cannot fully justify due to constant drunkenness. Advice on how to deal with an alcoholic will help relatives and friends put the patient on the right path, and he will understand that even without drinking, the world plays with bright colors.