How to please a girl who doesn't love you? How to get her back after a breakup?

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Flirting correspondence with a girl

Do you like a girl and want to date her? At the initial stage of meeting a girl, you will often correspond. After standard messages, you will want to get to know each other better and also have fun. What should a girl ask about and what should she ask to make you interested?

Girls love to have conversations, so you have to try. You will correspond with her through social networks: VKontakte, Facebook, Instagram. You can correspond via instant messengers or dating sites. In any case, it’s better to get the girl on a date as quickly as possible. But even after the meeting, you will often chat via the Internet.

Nojan Namdar, Unsplash

Why are men afraid of women?

It is worth noting that there are a lot of factors that cause men’s fear of the weaker sex. And despite the fact that a person’s nature is clearly understood, it is difficult to immediately say why he is so afraid to approach the object he likes.

But one thing is worth knowing for sure: if that same fear exists, then emotions are present. If he were completely indifferent to her, there would be no need to talk about any feelings at all. But let’s figure out why fear arises and what it “talks about.”

Is the game worth the candle?

If a man falls in love with a girl who has a boyfriend, he begins to have thoughts about separating the couple. But it's not always advisable to take a woman away from another guy.

To sort out the confusion, psychologists advise weighing the pros and cons. A number of the following counterarguments are well suited for these purposes:

If a young lady is able to easily part with a young man for another man, then she is insincere and frivolous. There are no guarantees that the relationship with the new boyfriend cannot be terminated by another guy.
Popular wisdom says that you cannot build your own happiness on someone else’s misfortune. There are a large number of girls in the world who are looking for relationships. Among them you can find true love.
If a woman is unhappy in a relationship with a man, she must be given a chance to end this love story on her own. Only then can you win your beloved.

If the above arguments could not convince the guy to abandon the idea, and he firmly decided that the girl was destined for him, then he needs to fight for his own happiness.

What does fear mean?

We hasten to quickly dispel the myth that men are greedy for all women indiscriminately. Moreover, our defenders don’t pay much attention to beauties. Most of them “fly” in their thoughts until they are specifically approached separately and asked for something. To attract his attention, ladies have to try. Say no? Well, let's list the items of the women's “military” arsenal, thanks to which the ladies do everything so that his gaze still stops at her step.

Makeup, hairstyle, perfume scent, stiletto heels, short or tight dress, long skirt with a high slit. Even a beautiful handbag or scarf is designed to emphasize the grace of a woman and “catch” a man’s gaze. So, all ladies are, to one degree or another, sinful in their desire to trap men’s gaze.

Well, attention has been paid, what next? Here the next step feeling should arise - indifference or partiality. If you still managed to arouse her interest, you need to understand your own attitude towards this. According to psychologists, you can understand that you really like a person in 5 seconds. Yes, yes, don't be surprised. Feelings, as has already been proven, are a chemical process that occurs in our head in a matter of seconds. And if positive signals arise, it means everything is going right, and you can proceed further.

Reliability is the key to a woman’s heart2

Let's say she has a cold. A reliable guy will go to the pharmacy and buy some cold medicine and some juice and bring it to her. Or he’ll take her to college if she desperately needs it. In general, it will help. The usual one will write messages on social networks wishing him a speedy recovery.

Or her kitchen faucet is leaking, and the landlady is in no hurry to fix it. A reliable guy will fix it, but a “just a guy” will sympathize. In general, the idea is clear - you should not unobtrusively sympathize and support, but help. You can do this even if you don't have much money yet. And this is much better than another movie or walk. Reliable guys don't stay without girls.

Yes, don’t think that this is how she subjugates you or something. It is unlikely that you will be left alone if you get sick, or, for example, you cannot do something yourself. This is what relationships are all about – mutual assistance and support.

What is sympathy

Let's study where this feeling - sympathy - comes from. But few of us understand what it is. For example, how can you explain to yourself that brunettes are more interesting than blondes? Or why does a well-read girl attract you more than an illiterate beauty from a beauty salon?

Psychologists are also confused in their arguments. But they highlight that love for a brunette can be associated with the hair color of a mother or sister. In short, for a man this is the usual norm to which he is accustomed. And the well-read nature of the family and the family’s interest in science can cause a craving for “smart people.”

What makes you think that she doesn't like you?

Guys often have situations when a girl doesn’t want to date, but continues to communicate with him in a good way. Many people immediately give up on the prospect of a relationship, believing that they simply do not evoke reciprocal sympathy. In fact, a girl can refuse dates and keep communication purely on a friendly wave for completely different reasons. Her decisions and actions can be influenced by completely unexpected things, and not by the man himself.

Refusal to meet may be due to lack of free time or attire for such an event. Also, if she says that she is not ready for a relationship, this may not be caused by antipathy, but by a difficult period in her life, possible problems in the family, at work or at school. Therefore, if a girl doesn’t pay attention to you, you don’t always need to perceive such behavior directed at you as something personal.

What do you feel - interest or fear?

We are all afraid of what we don't know. We are frightened by the unknown, the unfamiliar. Likewise, a man is always afraid of someone with whom he is not yet acquainted or is little acquainted. And at the same time, “the forbidden fruit is forbiddenly sweet.” The masculine principle of the hunter forces you to know better and more about the person of interest.

And fear is a kind of stimulus, an “instigator” of your further actions. If fear “surpasses”, then the guy abandons the relationship and moves on in search of another, more accessible one that does not cause embarrassment. What comes out of this is that if he is afraid of her, it means he likes her. This is the most precise axiom that no one has yet been able to challenge. We will discuss further why he is afraid of her, that is, what specific details scare him.

How to ask your loved one to restore the relationship?

If a man himself is to blame for the breakup, then he has no choice but to apologize, using her weaknesses (favorite flowers, sweets, songs) and prove with deeds that he is no longer that “scoundrel”.

The main thing is not to react to refusal with despair and going on an alcoholic/gaming/sexual binge. You need to give it time to cool (no more than a week). And try again. But you really need to understand why you offended your loved one so much.

Why is a man afraid of women?

She's too beautiful. Yes, all normal men pay attention to a beauty. By their nature, they cannot lose sight of her beautiful figure, luxurious hair, eyes, etc. But let's remember the amazing movie "Malena". The main character, talentedly played by Monica Bellucci, was too beautiful. All the women of the village hated her, and the men pretended to treat her badly, but in their hearts each of them wanted to spend at least one night with her.

With women it’s clear - this is typical envy. But what about the men, why did they behave this way? After all, Malena needed protection for a long time and did not ask for anything special, but simple, platonic and non-binding friendship. It's all about her beauty - the stronger sex was too weak before her charms. Remember from history lessons how beautiful women were burned in the Middle Ages. They were accused of witchcraft, theft, prostitution - anything. It was all just a matter of fear of their beautiful appearance, and the men were weak and sick. Thus, they took revenge on the beauties.

She is successful and rich. Here we will also give an example from a famous movie. Remember in the movie “Crew”, flight engineer Igor talked about why it’s better to be a woman. She always has more money and opportunities because she doesn't drink. We do not want to exaggerate and blame all men for alcoholism and other bad habits. Although, in fairness, it should be noted that the male sex is more prone to these flaws.

So, a woman’s success always scares a man. But not everyone, but a normal, responsible and self-respecting person. If a boy is attracted to a rich lady who has managed to achieve a lot, there is a fact of gigoloism. This is a real parasite that a lady should get rid of.

So, a normal man is always afraid that his passion earns more than she has more material wealth. Again, an example from “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears.” The mechanic Gosha earned normal money, but could not afford to live with a woman who would manage him and earn more.

You had a sad story. Men are obsessed with complexes, and fear of women can be a consequence of unsuccessful relationships in the past. It’s even worse if your first sexual experience was unsuccessful. Here, without the help of psychologists, or even psychiatrists, it will be difficult. A man will be afraid all his life of his inferiority (as it seems to him) to approach the person he is interested in, no matter how much he likes her.

The maximum he is capable of is one-time sexual contacts and the presence of mistresses, whom he visits quite rarely. No, he will come up, talk, give compliments, bring a glass, throw a couple of jokes, but no more. As soon as he feels that he smells the continuation of the relationship or the seriousness of the situation, he will immediately evaporate.

Fear of responsibility. Let's consider a situation familiar to many. A man and a woman maintain a serious relationship, he comes to her house, gives gifts, helps with everything. But things don’t go further than a shared bed and a few hours visiting a passion. What is the reason for the distance created by the gentleman?

It's simple - he doesn't want to take on additional responsibility. It is much easier to be a guest lover and not stutter about joint projects, especially about marriage. As soon as she hints to him about this - write - it’s gone, she’ll run away and won’t return. This is especially true in our time. If in previous times it was almost impossible to achieve a comfortable life without a spouse, now modern technology does the job. Yes, and food can be ordered at any restaurant, and as a living soul in the house you can have a cat, iguana, hamster, etc.

Poverty. Some will say that poverty is not a vice, but in fact it is a big problem for normal men. Moreover, modern girls, unfortunately, are very materialistic. During the day, with fire, you need to look for the one for whom feelings come first, and financial well-being comes second. Look through the list of rich people - who are their wives? Young, silicone-filled beauties. But for an ordinary man it’s already a problem to approach the one he likes. He is afraid that he will not be able to satisfy her desires on the material plane. A responsible person will never make serious acquaintances, much less propose and start a family, if he does not have the means for this.

You are stingy. You didn’t want to spend your savings on someone with whom you still don’t know what will happen. Why take her to expensive restaurants, buy flowers, perfume or other, more expensive trinkets. It is better to please your loved one and make pleasant surprises for yourself. What if a serious relationship develops, feelings continue to drag on, and whether you like it or not, family life and children begin. And this means money, costs for kindergartens, schools, utilities, and so on. Does a man need it?

Problems of a sexual nature. If a man has impotence, then it makes sense to feel sorry for this man. Perhaps it is impossible to find a more terrible moment than this moment, because this is the main thing for which the stronger sex is intended. And we are not talking about the fact that he will feel discomfort, but rather complete collapse, shame, aggression, hatred, both towards himself and the object of interest. Agree, even if a woman is not particularly greedy for sexual intercourse, she does not need just a friend nearby who confesses his love, but is not capable of anything.

Understanding the complexity and disadvantage of his position, a man will never be active towards the lady he liked. It hurts, hurts, annoys me in my soul, but shame will take over and he won’t come. There is a true fear of exposure of his masculine inadequacy.

Lack of independence. It happens that a seemingly interesting man, and he has everything with him, including financial and physiological wealth. But he cannot approach her and take active actions. The thing is that he was brought up in a family where others did everything for him. Or even worse, he was told every day what to do, where to go, what to eat, what to wear, etc. And then growing up came, and he never learned to act on his own. Most often, this situation develops in a family where a son is raised by one mother, that’s just the way life is. At the same time, she persistently ensured that he received an excellent education, was well dressed and had good health.

He's a virgin. This type of guy also most often grows up in single-parent families, where there is no father who could tell his son what, where and when he can do to start a sexual life. And when he meets a girl he likes, he feels both happiness and discomfort. What will happen next, because the relationship needs to be continued, and without intimacy it is impossible. Fear of the first sexual intercourse may force him to run away from the one he liked.

Complete misunderstanding of the weaker sex. There are men who completely lack the concept of what a woman is. For him, she is something incomprehensible, an alien creature, whose thoughts and desires are simply impossible to understand. And no matter how hard he tries to start contact, he is simply unable to find a common language with them. There is a certain phenomenon - misogyny. Such men will never understand women's tears, coquetry, jokes, efforts, worries. They are sure that all women are empty and worthless fools who do not deserve any respect. A misogynist does not accept women in serious professions and does not believe that she can be a journalist, successful lawyer, writer, politician, etc.

Basic tips for attracting female attention

In a situation where you like a girl so much, but if she doesn’t like you, it is extremely important for a man to look at himself from the outside for a sober, objective assessment of himself. For any modern person, such indicators of attractiveness as appearance, clothing, behavior, a rich inner world, etc. are important. The first impression is usually based on such qualities, which predetermines prospects for the future.

Do you know how to please girls?

Not really

So, the main tips for attracting a girl’s attention are as follows:

Hygiene – it is important for a man to monitor body cleanliness, oral hygiene, facial hair, the condition of nails, neat haircuts and a pleasant body odor.
Clothes – it is unlikely that you will be able to make a girl fall in love with you with a certain outfit, but a neat and stylish look that matches the size, age, and lifestyle of a man will certainly attract attention and approval from the female population.
Intelligence - if a man is constantly engaged in self-development, reads books, improves his qualifications, and enjoys hobbies, he will always feel confident in different situations. And most importantly, it will always be interesting to communicate with such a man.
Humor is a man’s main weapon, through which his charisma is revealed. It’s not for nothing that they say that if a man can make a girl laugh, then he can make her fall in love with him. In addition, jokes make communication relaxed, causing only positive emotions and impressions.
Speech – girls love with their ears, this is the golden rule in winning women’s hearts. You can transform communication into a romantic mood with a girl who considers you a friend with compliments and attention to her external and internal beauty, politeness and gallantry.

Expert opinion

Elena Druzhnikova

Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.

If a man doubts his own attractiveness, no matter how much he tries to please a girl, she will always feel his lack of self-confidence. Until a man changes his attitude towards himself, it will be impossible to conquer a girl who does not pay attention to you. Self-development, new successes and hobbies, overcoming fears, a new wardrobe and haircut, etc. increase self-esteem.

How to please a woman - the main steps

Now let's talk about the main thing. You liked the girl, the woman – it doesn’t matter. The article is devoted to helping the male sex overcome internal obstacles and take the main step.

Know how to listen and maintain a conversation. You need to listen carefully to everything she says. In addition to the fact that she will appreciate your attention, you will also understand what she thinks about, dreams about, and what difficulties she has. And also, if she decided to speak out in front of you, it means she really likes you. Don’t forget to ask questions, tell something about yourself, your interests - get her interested in your special someone.
Well, women love with their ears and there’s nothing you can do about it. Don't be afraid to give compliments, let them be unobtrusive, gentle and neat. Before you say anything, think carefully, because male logic and female logic are quite different concepts. Don't overdo it, otherwise she will decide that you are a banal ladies' man. It’s better to share your positive opinion about her creative and work successes, admire the dishes she prepares, the way she dresses, etc.
Be a support for her. Don't forget to let her know that you will always be there and help in everything. If she has started a project, they are ready to give advice or just lend a shoulder. If you want to change your job, treat this with understanding and hint that her talents will be useful everywhere.
Stay a man. Don't give up on good manners, show them to the one you like. Opening the door of a cafe, a car, helping you put on a coat, extending your hand when exiting the subway - these and other moments will definitely creep into the heart of the girl you like and bear the fruit of greater sympathy.
Look into her eyes. Don’t even think about paying attention to other visitors to a cafe or party, look only into her eyes and don’t look away. At this time, the invisible and subtle visual connection acquires layers and turns into a rope of strong feeling. And if you mistakenly start flirting with someone else, she will get the idea that you are a banal womanizer and continuing to communicate with you is a mistake. Maybe you are too cheerful and cheerful person, but she wants to be the only one. There is only one thing in her desires - you should not see anyone in front of you, her beauty should outshine the appearance of all the girls around her. Do not violate her promise and create conditions for complete trust.
Show interest in continuing the relationship. Well, the first date is over - what next? If you liked it, make an appointment for the next meeting. Before you say goodbye, be straightforward and tell her that you would be happy to meet her again and agree on a time that would be convenient for her to spend time with you. This moment is also important because it will make it clear whether she wants to continue communication. If not, no big deal. Either she has not developed any feelings for you or is still shy. There is time to clarify everything.
Don’t talk about your past relationships, and especially don’t even think about sharing your still-still feelings for your ex-girlfriend. Also, don’t judge someone you didn’t get along with. Few people like to hear unflattering reviews about former passions. After all, the girl may decide that you will speak unflatteringly about her too.
Give her flowers. Someone will laugh that the candy-bouquet period is complete nonsense. For men - yes, but for the fair sex - this is the happiest period. After all, she understands perfectly well that after meetings and dates, family life will most likely begin. And it is natural that a woman wants to prolong the moment of joy, carelessness, complete trust, passion, beautiful manners, etc. for as long as possible.
Show a reserved character. No matter what happens, no matter what stressful situation happens, try to be calm and keep everything under control. A woman looks at you as a potential father of her children and the main life partner in all matters. Also, do not try to argue with her, just argue your opinion and beautifully prove that you are right. You see that it’s not working out, give in.
Do not, under any circumstances, force her to clean your home. Imagine yourself in her place - you would like to wash the floors in her house, collect her things, wipe the dust, wash the dishes. After all, she is not a cleaning lady. As soon as you give a hint, she will run away, because she will be sure that she is needed as a cleaner and cook.
Treat her family, friends, and girlfriends with respect. She will be pleased if a potential spouse, a person she likes, finds a common language with those who are dear to her. When visiting her parents' house, do not forget about decent manners and give her mother flowers and behave nicely. Don't even think about getting drunk, it's a stupid joke. If you are not confident in your wit and ability to carry on a conversation, remain silent for the most part.
Don't forget about your interests. No woman will be interested in someone who does not have his own hobbies or hobbies. An empty man is a potential couch potato, a lack of initiative and a comrade of little ability. So demonstrate that your life is rich in events, that you love sports, communicating with friends, music, are interested in travel, country trips, creativity, etc.
Treat your family with respect too. Looking at your harmonious relationships with your parents and other family members, she will understand that you will be just such a caring, reverent and educated dad to your children.
Don’t even think about being late and be precise and punctual. It is the lot of girls to torment their stronger half with their tardiness, delays at work, on the subway, at school. And you need to wait for her at the ready and never make her nervous about your absence.
Be sure to invite her to your home. Communication with your loved ones will be a certain guarantee that you take this relationship very seriously and have far-reaching plans.
Surprise her. You don't have to sell the latest tablet every time to please her. A small bouquet of wild flowers, a light and delicate scarf, a beautiful inexpensive pen will pleasantly surprise your passion. She will feel your attention and understand that you always think about her and want to do everything to make her feel good and happy.

If things are going in the direction you want, don’t pull the cat by the tail. If you feel an irresistible desire to continue communication, you want her to become the one and only - admit it. Prepare a romantic evening with those same candles, rose petals, light champagne, and pleasant music. This may be funny to you, but for women this environment continues to be the best and most relaxing. Believe me, she will appreciate your efforts and will definitely give you affection, tenderness and passion in return.

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Make it clear from the very beginning that you like her as a girlfriend, not as a friend. Act like a man, don't try to be "friends." Communicate, but don't be intrusive. And of course, we shouldn’t forget about the pleasant little things. Gifts for the holidays, offers to give a ride, to help with something, etc. - only at first glance, this is nonsense. Otherwise, this is a completely normal option if you want to start a relationship.

Be civil with her friends. If one of them tries to start a relationship, refuse. Just say straight up that you already like another girl. Perhaps she likes you too, and the collective wisdom of women is just testing you. Overall, be yourself, act fast, be reliable, and good luck.

But if you very often have no luck with girls, and the question “why don’t girls like me” is already arising in your head, then you should pay attention to our next article!

Recommendations for guys

There must be a certain measure in everything. And this should always be remembered. Most likely, a guy will not have a chance to continue the relationship if he is too persistent and even to some extent obsessed with his chosen one. Experts recommend the following:

You should always take care of your own hygiene. Nobody likes belching and unpleasant odor from the mouth and feet, sweat, and flatulence. You need to wash your clothes and shoes regularly. It is advisable to take a shower and brush your teeth before the meeting. There is a category of women who do not tolerate the strong smell of cologne or cigarettes.
You shouldn’t be an ideal person and expect the same from her. After all, every person has their own shortcomings.
Under no circumstances should you be forced to be jealous. This can be bad for relationships. In the case when you need to find out if she is attractive, it is better to ask her friends or take a closer look at her behavior with other guys. You also need to trust your intuition. Don't lose hope. It is better to confidently move towards your goal. Relationships will get better when the guy proves his loyalty. If a girl asks about her exes, then it is not recommended to talk about them.
When meeting, it is advisable to ask personal questions, be interested and flirt. You need to show that you can win her, and also show confidence and courage in difficult situations. It is not advisable to use communication methods that are easy to fake.
You can't be too anxious when flirting. Some take this as a sign that the guy is only interested in sex and not in a normal relationship.
Not many people will appreciate vulgar jokes. It is for this reason that it is better not to tell them. In most cases, the girl will only distance herself from the guy.
In the case when a girl avoids communication, this means that she does not want communication and there is no need to follow her. It's better not to waste time and find another one.

If everything is done correctly, the result will be positive. You just need to be able to look after a lady beautifully and correctly and take into account her opinion, as well as share her interests. Girls don't like boring guys, and you should remember this.

How to start liking girls?

How to win the attention of girls? Is there a secret to female attention? Learn to interact with chicks. Show the following character traits, which will leave no chance for beautiful girls to remain unconquered.

Be alive and bright

Behave directly, maintaining the enthusiasm, curiosity and brightness of your youthful character. Girls often reproach us for this, but in their hearts they envy us, looking at our enthusiasm. Be always on the move, easy-going and radiate energy. Lead a bright, stormy and eventful life. Girls love proactive, energetic and lively men.

Jose Ros Photo, Unsplash

Touch the girl

How to please girls? Touch a girl if you want something more. Light and unobtrusive touches have a positive effect on a girl’s liking. Give your hand, hold, hug, stroke, touch your hair, grab your knee, rub your back. Touch a girl for any reason. She will feel desired, attractive and hot. It is through tactile touches that we tame a girl and seduce her.

Be fun and interesting

What do girls hate most? Boredom and sadness. Appear more interesting than you really are. Don’t be shy about taking a girl to places where you find it fun and interesting. Entertain your girlfriend and make her happy. More humor, laughter, sarcasm, carelessness, self-irony, optimism and happiness. How to start liking girls? Cultivate joy and fun, not sadness and melancholy. A sense of humor and a positive outlook on life have always won women's hearts.

Pietra Schwarzler, Unsplash

Charm a girl and flirt

We often like the person who likes us. Show the girl your sympathy, but don’t overdo it so that she doesn’t lose interest in you. Show emotions, flirt, share interesting thoughts, make advances. Use charm, charisma and charm. Don't be afraid to tease a girl, compliment her, notice her strengths, and even flatter her.

How to please people around you?

Give the girl the intensity of emotions, love affair and feelings of passion. Girls want love like in the movies, not limp and passive play. Don't be afraid to press the girl to kiss her or touch her. Don't be afraid to be passionate, vulgar and a little spoiled. Be afraid of being insipid.

Reader reviews

A large number of young guys face a similar situation every day. This is evidenced by many reviews:

Vadim: “The girl has a boyfriend, but she communicates with me with pleasure. I tried to hint at deep sympathy - she ignored it. A week later I tried my luck again - the same result. I don’t think we’ll succeed.”
Kirill: “I met a girl at a party with friends. I didn't know she had a boyfriend and fell in love. She also felt sympathy for me, but did not leave the guy. I'm glad I didn't waste time on the conquest. Now I have another girlfriend. I love her madly."

Alexander: “It’s easy to get into a woman’s friend zone. They are pleased that there is a man hanging around who can cry into his vest about the current guy. I couldn't listen to it. The falling in love passed after 2 months of communication.”

Whether it is worth trying to take away a girl who is in a relationship with another guy - everyone decides for themselves. The main thing to consider is your own capabilities, as well as the time that may be wasted. If your heart doesn’t ache with feelings and sleeps soundly at night, then you shouldn’t get involved in other people’s relationships. It's better to look around to find true love.