How to find out and understand that a married male colleague likes you, and what to do?

Video about how a man in love behaves

I suggest watching a video from a psychologist who will talk about the signs of falling in love. Here is a completely different approach to the topic than in the article. Perhaps you will find it useful:

In any case, there is no point in rushing things. If you think about it, all the advantages are initially on your side, because you meet with your colleague every day. You have plenty of time to draw conclusions about a person and his reputation.

You will also probably have mutual acquaintances - talk to them too to feel calmer. Act guided not only by feelings, but also by the voice of reason - then everything will definitely be fine with you.

Every woman who works in a male society periodically thinks about how to understand that a male colleague at work likes you.

People have different attitudes towards office romances, but resisting feelings when the object of desire is constantly nearby is not easy. No matter how a man tries to hide his sympathy, he will definitely give himself away.

Feelings for a married man

Do you think what to do if you like a married man? Having a family in this situation does not seem such a problem when the girl is overcome by real feelings. If he is married and you want to build a relationship with him, you should familiarize yourself with the following points:

Try to determine as precisely as possible how much you need such a relationship. According to statistics, only 1 out of 20 men is ready to start a relationship with a mistress. In other cases, they feed the girl with promises. This article will help you figure out how much you need a relationship with a married man.
Your main weapon in front of his wife is beauty and a sexy image. Don't think that if he sees you in a disheveled state, he won't pay attention to it in the future. A mistress should always look her best.
When you like a married man, you need to show even more care and provide even more support than his wife. You must feel him, please him, be affectionate and gentle with him. If you start proving something to him, throwing threats or leading him into conflicts, you will fail in winning his heart.
Harmony and comfort should always reign next to you. He should relax in your presence.

Avoid talking about divorce with his current spouse. This topic will cause aggression in him. There are only 2 options for behavior when you are dating a married man. You either wait for him to leave his legal wife, or you leave yourself. There is no third.

It happens that you are married and you like a married man. What to do in this case?

First of all, you must realize that such a relationship is risky for both parties. You will constantly have to hide your affair, and you risk destroying your own family because of this.
If you have mutual feelings, you need to talk to each other. Then talk to your spouses. Divorce in such a situation will be less painful than if your deception is revealed due to an accident or after a long period of time.
If you value and love your family, which you currently have, immediately and completely cut off all ties with a person who can bring chaos to your home. You shouldn't risk your family over a fleeting romance. There's too much value at stake.
Get ready to be judged by others. In Russia, such cases are condemned by society. There are 2 options here. If you truly love, then you don't care what others say. Are you happy. If there are no feelings, and only romance, then get ready for the opinions of others.

Showing sincere sympathy for a male colleague

The sincere feeling of a colleague, especially when a woman also likes him, is pleasant, but people rarely decide to have an office romance. According to statistics, such relationships end quickly and badly.

Important! An unsuccessful office romance is a real punishment, especially when former lovers are forced to continue their joint professional activities.

On the other hand, where else can a single lady find a reliable man’s shoulder if not at work, because many people spend most of their time there. In addition, it is much easier to form an opinion about a man with whom you are constantly close.

You can detect manifestations of sincere sympathy in a male colleague based on several signs:

When a lover appeals to sympathy, the timbre of his voice changes to a softer one. He gets nervous when talking, allows strange pauses when choosing his words. He will be the first to notice the slightest change in a woman and give her a compliment.

A man who is infatuated with a colleague will be intrusive, offering help, inviting him to lunch, pestering him on social networks with comments, likes and other actions. He will be jealous even if nothing interesting has happened between you yet.

Signs of his love

How do you know if a married man likes you? How a married man will behave with the girl he likes depends on many conditions : his character, aspirations, the absence or presence of conditions that allow him to change unnoticed.

Some men try at all costs to avoid communicating with an attractive woman, while others, on the contrary, may begin to carefully care for her (at the same time trying to hide the fact that they are married).

If a girl observes his behavior, she will be able to recognize the signs of falling in love, even if the man tries to hide them.

The main signs that a married man likes a woman:

He becomes more tense when a girl is around. It becomes more difficult for him to calmly carry on a conversation, tell interesting stories, and joke. This is most noticeable in those moments when a woman enters the room where he is located. Not all men know how to properly hide their emotions, and if a man is young and inexperienced, changes in his behavior when a girl appears can be noticed quite easily.
His body language indicates feelings. He crumples, fidgets with something in his hands during a conversation: ruffles his hair, twirls a button or cufflink, straightens his tie and generally looks restless (however, this behavior can also be characteristic of a simply anxious man with some mental disorders).
If he does not try to hide his feelings, then when a woman appears, he will become dignified, shake off his clothes, and raise his head. If he tries to hide, he may, on the contrary, begin to look in the opposite direction and hunch over a little.
Also, a man in love will either avoid looking into a woman’s eyes or will look intently.
If he tries to hide his love, he will look overly reserved, purposefully avoid communication, and look in the other direction. A man will diligently pretend that you do not exist, and here everything depends on your attentiveness and on his acting talent.
If attempts to avoid conversation and eye contact are quite clumsy, then this will be noticeable. But some girls may consider such behavior a sign that they are causing negative emotions (and this assumption is justified).
If he is interested in a relationship, he may start courting you (or at least make it clear that he likes you). He will also begin to take better care of himself, put on better clothes, and preen himself. The characteristics of his behavior depend on how afraid he is of exposure and whether he has the ability to successfully hide his betrayal. If he knows that his advances can be noticed by friends he and his wife have in common, then he will try to do everything carefully, using hints. If he wants to invite you on a date, he will try to find a place where it will be difficult to meet people he knows.

It is important to try not to make mistakes when interpreting a man’s behavior and gestures, since they do not always indicate that he is in love.

Showing sympathy depending on the type of temperament

However, a man’s demonstration of interest depends on his psychotype:

The choleric person will be happy to help with work, showing feelings with a bit of assertiveness, but the development of events will happen very slowly. He will not show violent emotions; he will constantly monitor the situation around the object of sympathy.
The phlegmatic will demonstrate his special attitude with the help of secret glances and sighs. He will choose a way to be closer to himself, becoming his best friend and assistant, but he is unlikely to admit his tender feelings or will not do so soon.
A sanguine person with an active lifestyle will prefer movement. A sign of his sympathy is cute signs of attention, childishness. He will constantly try to make the girl he likes laugh. Lost from embarrassment, he will speak and gesture even more actively than usual.
A melancholic person will behave as secretly as possible, but his emotions (unnatural facial expressions during a conversation, nervous movements of his fingers, trembling in his voice) will give him away.

How a work colleague shows his sympathy in an informal setting

If a lady is tired of understatement and games, a man can be provoked into openly showing interest.

A joint business trip, corporate event, or other time spent in an informal setting outside of work can encourage frankness:

Outside the office, in the company of a girl he likes, a man demonstrates his feelings more openly and boldly.
When talking to her, he tilts his head to his shoulder, turning his whole body towards his interlocutor.
He doesn’t look away, and if he gets even bolder, he looks at his neck - this is a clear sign of sympathy.
He tries to touch the woman, a cautious, unobtrusive gesture.
Smiles, fusses, jokes inappropriately.

If in public a man is a flint, his true feelings cannot be guessed, but in a non-work environment he behaves as described, then he is definitely in love.

Basic ways to get the attention of a cute colleague

There are both pros and cons to sympathy in the workplace. On the one hand, work becomes a pleasure, you run there with joy and trepidation, because there is a person you like there. But if a man is cold, of course, working in the same team becomes quite uncomfortable.

Before you analyze your behavioral strategy for winning over a colleague, pay attention to the things you shouldn’t do:

share your strong crush at work (one wrong hint from someone, a sidelong glance, an inappropriate joke, and you can forget about a potential relationship forever);
be too direct with the man you like.

What should you do to make a guy like you at work?

Prepare the ground

Before you attract the attention of a male colleague, feel out something about him. Carefully find out from the HR department or local know-it-alls about the chosen one’s marital status, current status, whether anyone at work is vying for his heart, whether there are previous marriages or children. This will help you avoid awkward situations.

Mark where the man is having lunch. Whether he goes to the canteen at work, takes snacks with him, or runs across the street to a cafe. This will increase the chances of getting closer. Meet him “accidentally” at the cooler, coffee machine, copier, chocolate machine - this is how more than one office romance began.

Find out your colleague's taste preferences in order to surprise the man with your own culinary abilities (it will be a disaster if you treat a vegetarian to meat). This can be done by watching his plate. Also determine where he spends his leisure time, plays sports, relaxes, and buys clothes.

Charm with your appearance

To please a man, get rid of purple lipsticks, bronzers, highlighters, sharp black nails and tons of powder on your face. Firstly, at work you risk getting an unpleasant nickname for this, and secondly, such makeup turns off your colleagues. You should look fresh, neat, interesting, well-groomed, natural.

Clothes should be such that you have the opportunity to fantasize, to think out your outline. If you dress too revealingly, you won't get this effect.

Always clean hair, well-groomed nails, ironed clothes, a pleasant aroma of perfume. No matter how beautiful you are, a wrinkled skirt or peeling nail polish will forever leave a stain on your reputation. Control your bad breath, sometimes it plays tricks on people. Carry chewing gum, lollipops or a special menthol spray with you, then you will be confident in your breathing and, accordingly, in yourself.

Put yourself at ease

To win over a man at work, always be positive, friendly, and open to people. Coldness, arrogance, self-confidence do not attract a man, this is a fact.

Ask a colleague at work for help (fixing a computer, sorting out a business plan, carrying a heavy pile of papers to the table) - men love it when they are needed. Just make sure he's not busy, otherwise you'll get rejected. After the service is rendered, you are hooked. “Oleg, you helped me so much, I have to feed you dinner! Refusals are not accepted, otherwise I won’t forgive myself.” Remind me of this again after a while.

With a man, show yourself from different sides: funny, ridiculous, strong, clumsy, sad. Don't be embarrassed about slipping, spraining your ankle, or dropping your purse. Let them look after you, help you, make you feel like a strong, noble, generous, supportive person. Men sometimes need it like air!

Compliments! “How you managed to do this is incredible, I struggled with this for a week! I bow to you, program master!”, “God, what perfume do you use? This smell will come to me in my dreams!”, “You did a very good report! Brilliant!”, “Share the recipe for your vigor, give me a piece of energy!”

Become a friend to the man you like. Support, find common interests, ask for advice. It’s disingenuous that you are interested in the same thing as him (study at least a little about football, fishing, bowling, rock band). Treat the man you like with treats, don’t you remember the way to the heart of a representative of the stronger sex? Bring eclairs for a sweet tooth, treat a meat eater to pancakes with meat, etc. Emphasize that you love to cook and someday he must try your signature dish.

If you like a colleague at work, use nonverbal communication. Casually, lightly, fleetingly touch him - accidental touches are like electric current. Touch your shoulder, arm, or back while working. Look into the eyes, bend your body, become a little closer to where you should be. Invade his space unobtrusively, timidly.

Remain a mystery until the bitter end! Smile, but don’t openly declare your sympathy, intrigue. Doubt fuels interest and drives you crazy.

Go all in

If you are a purposeful, liberated girl and are confident in the reciprocal sympathy of your colleague, openly seduce the chosen one who you like. At a meeting/lunch/gathering, move closer and place your hand on the man's knee or take his hand. Look into the eyes, remove your palm and move away a little. Play with him: either look with an innocent look, or smile like a cat, make a calm face, but lick your lips from time to time. If a guy at work doesn’t take his eyes off you, he’s completely in your power.

Invite your man to spend time together after work. Don’t invite him to your home, go to your favorite cafe, where you feel confident. The first two meetings should definitely take place on neutral territory without sexual continuation. Show your interest in his life: where he vacationed, where he worked before, studied, served, what he does in his spare time, etc. Open up yourself, charm with simplicity and naturalness. Emphasize your colleague’s virtues at the right moment, admit that it is for these qualities that you love men. He should already call you on the next date.

If you like an employee at work, take advantage of company events. Corporate events are a great time to get to know each other in an informal setting. Alcohol, music, loose clothing, unobtrusive communication, smiles, and flirting will do their job. Just don’t get drunk for courage, otherwise the team will remember this for a long time!

How to recognize sympathy from your superiors

When a girl suspects sympathy not just for a colleague, but for her manager, she should exercise increased caution and discretion.

If a man is a rock in public, you can’t guess his true feelings

First of all, you need to be absolutely sure of his interest, so as not to end up in a stupid situation in the future. A young girl can easily confuse tact and politeness with being in love.

If the boss does show just such an interest, then his behavior will be accompanied by the following:

promoting professional achievements;
loyalty when providing time off;
increased health concerns if a woman takes sick leave;
praise, a compliment for the most insignificant success, as a result - an increase in salary;
eye contact when talking, attempts to touch, hug, support;
constant presence nearby, frequent communication under any pretext: involvement in negotiations, business meetings, etc.

Despite the presence of these signs, there is a possibility that the manager’s attentive behavior is only recognition of the woman’s professionalism.

Important! According to inexorable statistics, affairs with bosses almost always do not end well for a woman. If the manager is not interested as a man, it is better to stop the advances firmly, but with maximum delicacy.

How to behave with a married man?

Often, a woman unconsciously shows through her communication style and behavior that she gives a man the green light for closer communication. She meets a guy who wears a ring and that doesn't stop her. If you do not intend to communicate more closely with a married man, then it is better to read how to behave correctly in the presence of a man in love, so as not to find yourself in an awkward situation and not to be misunderstood.

Communicate in a relaxed, friendly way, as usual, just keep your distance. Try not to get closer than 1.5 meters. Guys often mistake a girl's friendliness for flirting and interest in herself.
When talking, do not delve into his personal life and do not talk about your personal life. Let it remain a secret.
Avoid frivolous jokes. This behavior may be perceived as uncivil and will show you in a bad light.
Show the man that you do not need his attention, most importantly, avoid rudeness.

Often, a ringed man is perceived by girls as a forbidden fruit that they just want to taste. In fact, there is nothing fabulous here. A male who is looking for an outside relationship is limited to only the desire for intimacy; he certainly does not make plans for more. He doesn’t need even more responsibility; he already has a wife who hangs like a burden on his shoulders. This is not in the interests of a married man.

Common female mistakes in interpreting male behavior

Girls tend to mistake any attention from the opposite sex for true feelings. Many men flirt as quickly as they breathe. Especially at work, where there are no jealous wives and girlfriends nearby.

Flirting with everyone is their typical behavior. In this case, a woman should try not to make mistakes, be patient and not react to attention immediately.

Controversial situations that can be assessed ambiguously, wishful thinking:

Showers compliments, jokes, flirts, makes hints. It’s worth waiting here and watching how he communicates with the other girls. If this is typical red tape, then it is better to immediately forget about it.
Behaves gallantly: helps with heavy bags, holds doors, comes into the office just to say hello, or provides assistance with work. This behavior does not necessarily indicate falling in love. A colleague may just be a nice, well-mannered guy, and nothing more.
He invites you to join me at lunch, invites you to drink tea during breaks, while talking only about work and abstract topics. The situation does not mean that he is showing interest. This can only be a sign of friendliness.

A lady should carefully observe and analyze the behavior of her colleagues, especially if she is new to the office. Simple male rivalry can be confused with sincere interest and end up in a sensitive story.

How to show your male colleague your sympathy

Sometimes it becomes clear that a colleague is in love, the woman’s intuition screams about it, but events just don’t want to develop. At this point, you can already hint that reciprocity awaits him.

How to do it:

encourage, encouraging with a smile, for compliments;
agree to invitations to have lunch or meet after hours;
be interested in mood, hobbies, activities, events;
flirt.