In the life of every person there are white and black stripes - this is how the world works, where various events occur in waves. Those who know about this theory do not dwell on troubles, but confidently move forward, achieving their desired goals.
But what to do when some life shocks drive you crazy, the ground disappears from under your feet, sadness, melancholy, and mental breakdown arise. How to cope with this condition and prevent severe depression?
Causes of mental anguish
Why is it so bad and painful in your soul? What are the causes of mental suffering and heaviness?
Typically, psychological discomfort occurs for one of the following reasons :
- A loss . This is the most negative life situation in which we lose someone close. The death of a parent or loved one can unsettle you for a long time. Sometimes real depression sets in, and finding a way out of it on your own is not so easy. Similar experiences arise when parting with significant people. For example, as a result of a divorce or after the departure of a grown child.
- Guilt. An unfair act towards another person also becomes a cause of mental anguish.
Realizing that you have harmed someone can greatly darken your existence. - Betrayal . Betrayal from loved ones or friends always hurts the most. At such a moment, a person stops believing others and closes in on himself. Inner experiences may not appear outwardly, but suffering will eat away from the inside.
- Negative events. Serious troubles at work, a quarrel with a spouse, disagreements with parents, misunderstandings with children - all this becomes a source of emotional unrest. Each of us reacts emotionally to any significant events in life, but there are also particularly sensitive people who are unsettled by even the smallest trifle.
Feelings when everything is fine
Everything seems to be fine, but my soul is bad: what are the reasons for emotional unrest?
It also happens that inner excitement arises when life is going absolutely well .
There seems to be no reason to experience mental tossing, and the state of anxiety does not leave.
Usually this problem is faced by people who have lost interest in life. They may have reliable relationships, children, stable jobs, loving parents and many other benefits, but there is no feeling of satisfaction with themselves and their lives .
In such cases they say that there is no internal harmony. This may be due to a boring everyday routine, an incorrectly chosen profession, or the presence of the “wrong” person nearby.
It’s enough just to sincerely talk to yourself and understand what specifically from the current circumstances of life does not bring joy. And you will immediately understand what could be changed.
Sometimes such experiences are a defensive reaction. A person is afraid of his own well-being. It seems to him that things cannot always be so good and that something bad will definitely happen .
Effective ways to relieve sadness and anxiety
What can help you take your mind off bad thoughts?
- Delicious food - dark chocolate, banana, orange, cheese, beef liver, strong tea with lemon, ginger, coffee.
- Smile - no matter how bad your soul is - you need to smile, look in the mirror and admire your reflection. You can also say that everything is fine with me, I’m in a great mood.
- Reading your favorite book and watching an interesting movie.
- Maybe you should cry to let the negativity out, then a good mood will come.
- Try something new, much less desirable. Go to a resort, update your wardrobe, bake a cake, go to a concert, let new emotions and experiences distract you from negativity.
- Make your dreams come true - each of them should come true, and not remain written on a piece of paper.
If mental anguish arose due to the death of a loved one, then in this case it is important to go to church, light a candle, pray, and understand for yourself that it is no longer possible to resurrect and bring him back to life. You need to let him go, because, as the Bible says, then it will be easier for him to live in the next world.
If work exhausts all the juices, and there is no way to change it, for some objective reasons, then you need to learn to relax when you come home. Take a bath, have a noisy party, visit a beauty salon, set aside time for a hobby that will take your mind off your problems.
Concept of pacification
Peace is understood as a state of complete peace of mind, serenity of thoughts and feelings.
The individual experiences extreme clarity of consciousness, he clearly understands his place in the world and does not experience any discomfort.
All events that occur are perceived calmly and clearly.
Modern people are rarely in a state of peace due to excess stress, responsibilities and problems. Much more attention is paid to solving material issues
In pursuit of mythical benefits and in worries about external attractiveness, people forget to think about the soul. This leads to a violation of internal harmony , to a constant feeling of dissatisfaction.
The soul not only does not develop in such conditions, but also often degrades, which provokes a feeling of sadness. All true desires, aspirations and dreams have nothing to do with external well-being.
Pleasant sensations, positive emotions, new impressions, communication with loved ones, self-development - these are what contribute to peace.
People who have achieved a state of harmony are able to observe any events from the outside. Negativity does not affect their personality because it passes by.
Material desires fade into the background, giving way to spiritual joys. In such an emotional state, all decisions are made easily, and any situations become extremely simple and understandable.
How to improve your mood?
Mental emptiness occurs when there is no desired support nearby. You need to pull yourself together, call your friends, meet in an emotionally charged place - a cafe, theater, disco, bowling alley. A noisy and cheerful company will allow you to take your mind off bad thoughts, and perhaps find a way out of the situation.
You can join a gym, where you can throw out your emotions through physical activity. Yoga will help normalize your breathing. And meeting new interesting people will lead to the thought that maybe not everything is as bad as it seems.
Sometimes mental pain arises from committing a rash act, in which case, in order to remove the blame from yourself, you need to repent, ask for forgiveness, and tell others about what you did. Yes, other problems may appear, but you will no longer lie to yourself.
What to do?
What to do when it’s very bad and if your soul is completely tired?
First of all, you need to try to identify the reasons for your negative emotional state .
If emotional experiences are caused by specific events, then it is necessary to change the situation itself.
For example, ask for forgiveness or try to correct your behavior. In cases where it is impossible to influence what is happening, you need to try to change your attitude . Any human emotion is the result of his own choice.
They are quite manageable. Because of betrayal, some people become depressed and stop trusting people, while others simply draw conclusions for themselves and continue to live. Even the most difficult loss must be overcome and find the strength to continue existing .
In cases where there are no reasons to worry, you need to try to set yourself up in a positive way.
In everyday worries, people often stop appreciating simple joys: healthy children, living parents, a roof over their heads, a loved one. But it is these simple components that make up happiness.
All everyday problems or difficulties at work are secondary issues that should not be spent on mental energy .
To overcome the fatigue of the soul, you need to come to loved ones for advice, try to be alone with yourself, talk with friends or turn to religion. All these actions will help you overcome internal discomfort and tune in to the positive.
If there is a reason
Let's assume that, after all, you really have a reason to feel very bad at heart. The reason is serious, well known to you, and irreversible. What exactly makes you feel bad? Let's look at the constituent factors. First of all, you feel bad from the effect of what happened. You are missing something: your relative, or your health, or former trust, or lost capital. The second component is the shock of the effect that this happened. The resonance that enters your normal course of life when faced with a shock event is so strong that it shakes you to your very core. From the depths of the psyche rise such leviathans and existential questions that can force you to change the attitude not only to your self-esteem, but to life in general. As a result, there is sensory and mental overload, poor health, including mental health, and a feeling of excessive energy consumption.
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How to restore mental strength?
The following simple steps will help restore inner harmony:
- Elimination of external irritants . Radio, television and the Internet constantly broadcast streams of information to people. Often we don’t even realize how much information enters our brains from these sources per day. When you feel mentally tired, you must first limit the impact of the media on your consciousness. This means that you should go online only when necessary, and not spend hours there, watch on TV only educational programs or pleasant feature films, and not news reports, etc.
- Communicate only with pleasant people. External influences are also exerted on us by the people with whom we come into daily contact.
It is impossible to completely eliminate communication with unpleasant interlocutors, since these could be work colleagues or even relatives, but it is quite possible to limit this communication as much as possible. - Developing the ability to stop the flow of thoughts. Even when it seems that we are not thinking about anything, the brain is constantly working. You need to learn to relax your mind as much as possible and disconnect from everything that is happening. Special meditation techniques help a lot. People who own them know how to completely withdraw into themselves, concentrating exclusively on their own breathing. The flow of thoughts at such moments stops, and the consciousness is cleared. It is during such internal dialogues that one understands one’s essence, one’s true desires and needs.
- Regularly being alone. Walking in nature or shopping, or even aimlessly wandering around the city, helps restore mental strength. At such moments, the flow of thoughts flows freely and uncontrollably, and there is time for reflection. Even if you have small children, elderly parents, or spouses, you can find a couple of hours a week for solitude. Just being alone with yourself in a closed room helps you relax a little.
- Reducing the level of criticality and self-demandingness. Most often, mental fatigue overtakes people who shoulder an exorbitant burden of responsibility and worries.
It is important to realize the value of your own personality and not strive to please everyone around you. The happiness of loved ones and their well-being are of great importance, but you always need to remember about yourself.
Determine the meaning of your emotion
Now you need to understand what your Midbrain is trying to tell you. Why is he feeling bad?
Meanings of basic emotions:
Fear or anxiety
Your brain is saying, “Something bad could happen right now. And I won't be able to handle it. I may not survive this. This is life-threatening."
What to do:
Ask, talk and find out from yourself (your Midbrain):
— what is the danger, what exactly are you afraid of, what exactly could happen
— look at the danger from the outside and objectively assess its degree, how much it really threatens life and health
- if the danger is real: determine what you can realistically do right now to reduce the degree of danger
- if the danger is real: plan what you will do if it occurs. Who or what you may need, where and from whom you can get help
- if the danger is unreal: explain this to your Midbrain, talk to it like a child
If anxiety or fear does not go away, consult a professional psychologist.
Sadness, melancholy, depression
Your brain says, “I lost something very valuable. I can never take this back. And without this I cannot continue to live.”
What to do:
Ask, talk and find out from yourself (your Midbrain):
- what exactly did I lose, what is the value of what I lost
- look at the loss from the outside and objectively analyze whether it is truly lost irretrievably. Or is there any way to get this in another way?
Irreversible losses are usually associated with the death of loved ones or animals. Simply because they are unique and inimitable. Everything else, to one degree or another, can be replaced.
- if the loss is irreparable: move on to grieving. Your task now is to go through all stages of the process and not get stuck in them. Think about who or what can help you grieve properly.
- if the loss is irreparable: remember the values and meanings that you still have. Ask yourself questions: What does life, the world, or God expect or want from me? What more can I give to life, the world or God? What have I not yet done, what do I want to leave behind, what am I ready to give my life for?
- if you have suspicions that you can return what you lost (in whole or in part), think about what exactly you can do for this. What can you really influence, what is in your power? If there are any options, try and act if you really value and need what you are losing.
If despondency, melancholy, depression does not go away or is not replaced by other emotions, contact a professional psychologist.
Anger, anger
Your brain says, “I want to get (or keep) this. But there is an obstacle (threat) in my way. I need to destroy it."
What to do:
Ask, talk and find out from yourself (your Midbrain):
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- what exactly do I want to get (save), what is stopping me, what obstacle (threat) and how it is stopping me
- look at your situation from the outside and objectively assess whether your obstacle (threat) is really preventing you from getting what you want (or keeping what you have)
- if an obstacle (threat) really exists and interferes: determine what you can actually do right now to eliminate it
- if an obstacle (threat) really exists and interferes: analyze whether it might be more profitable for you to find another way to get what you want rather than fight the obstacle.
- if the obstacle (threat) does not actually bother you: explain this to your Midbrain, talk to it like a child
If anger or anger does not go away, consult a professional psychologist.
Guilt
Your brain says, “I broke some important rule. I need this rule for my life. And now I’m angry at myself for it.”
What to do:
Ask, talk and find out from yourself (your Midbrain):
- what rule did I break, is it really important and necessary for my life?
— Did I violate it intentionally or through negligence? When I violated it, did I even realize, understand that by doing this I could cause harm to myself or others? Could I have acted differently in principle?
- How much damage was caused by my actions? What values were damaged? Are these values really important to me?
- What do I need to stop doing this again? What can I do now to prevent a similar situation from happening again, so that I don’t break the rule again?
Therapy
How and with what to cure, heal the soul? Soul therapy is based on developing the ability to appreciate life, enjoy the little things, and love yourself. A perfect body, expensive clothes and material wealth do not bring joy to anyone without inner harmony.
To achieve this state, you need to understand your own personality and understand what it really wants.
The main secret of peace is the ability to live in the present moment, finding pleasant joys in it, and not allowing negative thoughts.
For example, one person on the way to work thinks about the upcoming crowd in public transport, about the planning meeting at the boss, about the need to do homework with the child after returning home, etc.
As a result, a negative mood appears in the morning, and the feeling of fatigue in the evening seems quite natural.
Another person makes the same journey to work and has similar problems, but manages to enjoy the rays of the sun in the morning, watch the funny behavior of cats in the yard, be touched by a child passing in a stroller, etc.
He knows how to feel the present moment and not concentrate on small problems that may lose their relevance tomorrow.
It is necessary to stop focusing on the negative, feeling sorry for yourself or being excessively self-critical, judging others, and thinking about the future.
By showing kindness, openness and understanding, as well as healthy selfishness, you can quickly get out of any depression and feel the zest for life again.
How to find harmony?
Mental harmony cannot be achieved without accepting your body. In modern society, the canons of beauty are actively enforced, which are invented by a group of people who create fashion.
As a result, people begin to compare themselves with ideal pictures in glossy magazines and experience complexes due to their own imperfections.
It is important to understand that a person receives physical data from nature ; they practically do not depend on him.
Accordingly, it is pointless to make complaints about yourself because of short legs or wide hips. Lack of love for your own body is guaranteed to give rise to self-doubt , and this leads to the inability to achieve inner harmony.
It is important to learn to accept and love every centimeter of your body, trying only to the extent possible to maintain and improve what is given by nature.
Famous quotes about harmony of soul and body:
- “Where does harmony come from between soul and body if the soul is always ready to save itself at the cost of the body?” (S.E. Lec).
- “Beauty is harmony - it is the key to peace” (F.M. Dostoevsky).
- “We will never establish harmony with the world around us until we come to terms with ourselves” (Dalai Lama).
- “Grace is the outer expression of inner harmony” (Maria von Ebner-Eschenbach).
