Eternal confrontation with mother-in-law. He always comes up with his advice and criticism.

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There are situations in life when it is impossible to forget an insult and you really want to take revenge on a person for insults and humiliation. But any action cannot be taken rashly, without thinking.

We must allow emotions to cool down and feelings to return to normal; if the need remains, do it beautifully, using smart ways and without harming yourself.

What is revenge?

Revenge, according to the definition of psychologists, is a pre-planned response action aimed at causing moral or physical damage to the person who previously caused harm.

Taking revenge on the offender or forgiving is the moral right of any person. But having free will, you will have to be responsible for the consequences that arise.

Therefore, you need to take revenge wisely, without surrendering to power:

• Pain.
• Grievances.
• Anger and other feelings and emotions.

The desire for revenge arises when a person has been hurt and mentally wounded, so he must give a proper response to the enemy in order to achieve justice.

But when the pain subsides and common sense wins, the desire to punish the culprit of mental torment fades and dissolves.

But if, after a certain period of time, the thirst for revenge remains, it is necessary to plan specific actions and gradually implement them.

How to take revenge correctly?

If the decision is made, tactics are developed and an opportune moment is waited.

According to the Italian proverb, revenge must be taken with a cool head.

There are many options, but they are divided into three general groups:

• Passive.
• Active.
• Aggressive.

Everyone is good in their own way and always achieves what they want.

Advice! To achieve your goal, be patient and learn to wait. It is better to strike when the offender thinks that everything is forgotten and he is forgiven.

To properly take revenge, you need to be ready to take action, but before implementing the plan, you should answer the following questions:

1. You were offended, but does an ordinary person have the right to accept the mission of a judge, committing lynching?
2. Analyze who, besides the offender, will suffer from your actions, and whether you are ready for such consequences.
3. Do you intend to maintain a relationship with the offender in the future?
4. Do you want to do everything quietly, remaining incognito, or do you want loud publicity?
5. You can handle it on your own or you will have to resort to the help of third parties.

If the person who offended you is a close friend, beloved brother or sister, parents, wife, husband or other person dear to your heart.

Then you should give up revenge, limiting yourself to an angry letter expressing pain from resentment.

Then re-read what you wrote several times and, tearing it into small pieces, forget and forgive.

The best way to take revenge is to become happy, despite everything, to achieve success on the career ladder and financial independence.

Then the feeling of disappointment and envy experienced by the offender in connection with your success will be a hundred times stronger than from revenge.

The table shows similar examples:

In the desire for revenge, it is important to maintain a reasonable line and not harm yourself by wanting to punish:

• Employees and colleagues who have annoyed you at work.
• A teacher at school who dislikes the child and torments him with nagging.
• The landlord of an apartment who inflates the previously established payment.
• Neighbors above for noise and stomping, etc.

The use of gross physical violence, slander and insults should be strictly avoided.

Such actions directed in the opposite direction will bring new problems. The revenge plan should be simple and elegant.

In the desire to take revenge, one must study in detail the weaknesses and strengths of the offender, interests, fears and strike using the acquired knowledge.

Who are you?

Let's start with your education. Question: do you have a decent profession that will feed your family? If your mother-in-law once received it at a state educational institution, and also gave a good professional start to her son, then she will also look for a daughter-in-law with an appropriate education. And if you have 9 grades behind you, you have difficulty constructing sentences according to the rules of the Russian language, your speech is replete with filler words, and in general, you are ashamed to be invited to a New Year’s family dinner, know that with such a set of professional qualities you will never earn the favor of your second mother .

There are many reasons why mothers-in-law do not like uneducated daughters-in-law, even if they themselves do not have a diploma. Here's just one of them.

An uneducated daughter-in-law is a burden for a son. She needs to be fed, watered, clothed, put on shoes, bought cosmetics and other consumer goods, since she herself cannot earn money without a profession, is not able to feed her offspring, and does not want to set a good example for her children - her grandchildren. The descendants will grow up uneducated, will be unemployed, idle, and will raise exactly the same great-grandchildren.

Will you now say that this is not so? Are they full of uneducated people whose lack of profession does not prevent them from earning money and building a career, feeding and educating their children?

It's hard to disagree with you because it's 100% true. But you will never convince your mother-in-law. For her, you are a parasite, a stone around her neck, who has decided to make an easy life for herself at the expense of her beloved son. You just use it, taking it with your appearance and something else. For her, you are the last piece of trash.

What can be done in this case? Study, study and study again! Choose evening or correspondence courses, get an education and build a career.

If you have problems with speech, read a lot of books. Give preference to classics, lyrics, poetry from the school curriculum. It is better not to read modern detective stories and novels, since not all of them are meaningful and of high quality. While reading, pay attention to structures in sentences and expand your vocabulary. If reading is difficult due to slow speed and laziness, start with A.S. Pushkin. This author has such a light style and polished sentences that all his works are read in one breath.

Also pay attention to the conversations that arise in your family circle. If the mother-in-law likes to cite historical events and characters as examples, it means that she is well acquainted with the history of certain centuries. Read thematic books in your spare time. If the mother-in-law easily reveals the population, climate, location of countries, she is well versed in geography. When talking about events in different countries - in politics, if she easily voices last year's GDP and inflation rate - she is an inquisitive economist.

There's no need to cram, but general information can be gleaned from books to keep the conversation going and to fill gaps during meals together.

You can do it differently. Just to go against it. Study well what comes easily to you, but was not given to your mother-in-law. By doing this you will show that you also have your own hobbies, you are competent in a certain area, and for this you rightfully deserve respect.

Variety of ways

There are many sophisticated ways to annoy an offender.

Below are practical tips to take revenge painlessly:

• Mother-in-law after divorce. Often the husband's mother interferes in her son's family affairs, causing the wife's indignation, scandals and breakup. You can punish your ex-mother-in-law more painfully by banning her from seeing her grandchildren.
• My husband's mistress. Wisely planned and gracefully executed revenge will bring the husband home and give him the pleasure of defeating his rival. If you don’t know this woman personally, get to know her by becoming a close friend; if you are married, show interest in your spouse, make your children and household members fall in love with you.
• A married man who used him for his own purposes and then abandoned him. Knowing his phone number, send an intimate SMS from an unknown number late at night or just call and then hang up. A good way is to place numbers in a dating newspaper under an advertisement of an intimate nature.
• A classmate - a narcissist. Find out his weaknesses and, by manipulating them, quietly humiliate him in the eyes of others.
• For noisy neighbors living in a private house and bothering those around them with loud music, it is appropriate to sprinkle salt mixed with needles or feathers from the bottom of the gate. Another effective way is to call an electrician and cut the wires unnoticed when they are not at home.
• For a sister-in-law who is sticking her nose into other people's affairs, insert needles or matches coated with glue into the keyhole. The idea of ​​using a phone number on a dating site is also a good option.

What to do - 4 steps to overcome conflict

1. First of all, you should under no circumstances involve your spouse in female squabbles, otherwise you may end up in a triangle, far from a love one, where the daughter-in-law will act as the victim, the husband as the savior, and the mother-in-law as the attacker. Depending on the circumstances, the roles in this triangle may change. And sooner or later the wife herself will become the attacker, and the offended mother-in-law will transform into the victim. This scenario leads to a breakdown in relationships in the family.
2. Set boundaries. This task falls entirely on the shoulders of the young wife. If, for example, raising children, closets in the bedroom or kitchen are prohibited places for third parties, this should be explained to the mother-in-law without ultimatums and hysterics.
3. You can’t overthink things and let your mother-in-law get away with sarcastic remarks. With any reproach, it is important to clarify what the mother-in-law meant and share with her your opinion about the current situation. And then thank her for noticing. The dialogue must be built constructively.
4. It is not recommended to respond to criticism and evaluation with aggressive behavior. It is important to abstract from what was said and answer something spatial.

Sometimes it happens that a daughter-in-law transfers her unresolved conflict situations with her mother into her relationship with her mother-in-law. Here you need to conduct a comparison analysis and seek help from a family psychologist. If the mother-in-law refuses to engage in dialogue, and despite the efforts made, continues to devalue the merits of her daughter-in-law, then you should think about limiting communication and distancing yourself.

There is no need to try to form a relationship with the mother of your loved one overnight. There is no need to suddenly get closer and immediately after the wedding ceremony call her mom and familiarly switch to “you”. In this way, the unnecessary child-parent context of what is happening is only maintained.

It is necessary to build a relationship with your mother-in-law in a comfortable manner, help her to the best of your ability and strength, give small gifts every time you come to visit and not interfere with communication with your grandchildren.

Magic

If other methods do not help, try using magic. But coming into contact with real magical power, in addition to taking revenge on the offender, it is possible to harm yourself.

Therefore, before you decide to take such a step, carefully weigh such a step.

If the victim you have chosen is an impressionable person, an imitation of magical influence will have the appropriate effect.

Throw a doll pierced with needles, black burnt candles, bird feathers stained with blood, etc. under the door.

Another option is to send a box of dried scorpion or crusader spider by mail.

But if the enemies are fed up with you, and you decide to turn to real magic, it is better not to perform the rituals yourself.

Although there are a huge number of different conspiracies for loneliness, illness and death posted on the Internet.

When taking a certain step, remember the point of no return. By making adjustments and influencing people's lives, a person changes his destiny.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: who is to blame and what to do

Usually, problems between a daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law arise because a young family lives with the husband’s parents. The couple is always under supervision, and a caring second mother is ready to intervene in case of the slightest trouble.

Trying to appease your mother-in-law with gifts is not always successful. You may not please, which will further inflame the squabble-loving second mother.

To prevent this from happening, it is better, of course, to live separately. But if this is not possible, decide to have a serious conversation. Explain to your mother-in-law that you and your husband are no longer little children. You work, support yourself, pay utility bills, buy groceries. You live completely independently and are ready to take responsibility for your actions.

Say that your mistakes, problems and quarrels are your issues. You can easily resolve them without third party intervention. And if you suddenly need help, then the first thing you will do is turn to your husband’s parents for advice. Usually such a conversation is received very well and the mother-in-law, if she is an adequate, intelligent woman and wants only the best for you, will no longer interfere in your life.

How not to harm yourself?

Revenge, like a worm, eats from the inside, devastating a person. It is not for nothing that any religion warns against accumulating grievances and deliberately causing harm to another.

But there are times when the desire for revenge cannot be controlled.

In such situations, the following tips will help you protect yourself:

1. Don’t give in to the first bloodthirsty desire, cool down and think through your actions, don’t be afraid to experiment.
2. Slowly set traps, but do not appear in the action arena in advance, remaining incognito.
3. Be confident, hold your head up proudly, and do not attract attention with empty complaints, threats and insults.
4. Act gradually, in small steps.
5. Get to know the enemy's surroundings better, establish good relationships with his relatives and friends.
6. If the anger persists, do nothing, wait until the emotions subside.

Remember, revenge is the last resort that can destroy not only the enemy’s life, but also your own. If there is an opportunity to solve the problem in another way, use it.

Be judicious and careful, if you fail, the enemies will become stronger, and you will be left with new pain and disappointment.

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mother in law gets into everything

Girls, good afternoon everyone! I hoped that I would never raise such a topic, but apparently this fate did not escape me either. Below is the essence of the problem.

My now mother-in-law and I lived in perfect harmony until she found out that we had decided to get married. She was against the wedding, she thought it was too early (we were 26 years old) and that we had to wait until we were 30 to have children. When once before the wedding there was a conversation about pregnancy, she said that she would have insisted on an abortion... after that I tried not to touch on the topic of children at all, and when I became pregnant, my husband and I did not tell her about it for the first month in order to avoid nervous conversations. Although during pregnancy she still managed to get on my nerves...

Her beloved granddaughter was born. It seemed that the first days, everything was perfect and past grievances were forgotten... No... A month later it became worse than it was before the birth of my daughter. Every time she visited (once a week - she lives nearby) for the first six months, I listened to the words that I was “tormenting the child and mocking him” because I did not give water. EVERY visit! Moreover, the fact that these words were spoken in the presence of his daughter was infuriating. Children understand everything!! Then for the next months I listened to the same words, because we had the “wrong routine”... we put the child to bed too early. The explanations that she gets up at 6-7 in the morning and therefore goes to bed earlier did not work. Now I listen to the same thing, because the child is barefoot at home, too naked outside, the water in which he bathes is too cold.

I know that it’s my own fault if I didn’t immediately stop all these conversations. She was delicate to avoid scandals. Once he did, when again, holding my daughter in her arms, she said that I was torturing her and it would come back to haunt me (because of my bare feet).

Now there are additional accusations that my home is too clean, I quote, “excessive sterility is useless.” And all because we take off our shoes at the door. In short, a complete set. Unfortunately, my mother-in-law believes that there are 2 opinions - hers and the wrong one. My husband talked to her and asked her not to make comments to us in the presence of her daughter. Everything was fine for a week, then everything happened again with renewed vigor. Now, even when I scold my daughter, she immediately flies up (if she’s visiting) and says the exact opposite things, that it’s okay and everything is correct….

The mother-in-law’s answer to everything is “I have the right to express my opinion.”

Girls, I’m going to sit down with her and talk over a cup of tea in an amicable way and explain everything again. I understand that people are different, but did such a conversation you had with your mother-in-law have any result???