15 Signs You're Dating an Abuser | Blogger _Ara_ on the website SPLETNIK.RU November 7, 2020

According to most mothers-in-law, the bride, lover and even legal spouse are capable of showing disrespect for their sons. They say that such upbringing is not acceptable for their beloved children, when the girl does not respect the guy. After all, their children are accustomed to delicious home-cooked food, respectful behavior and submissive actions on the part of the young ladies.

If a girl doesn’t respect a guy, it only happens because he put himself that way, or allowed himself to be manipulated and put forward conditions that, well, are very difficult not to agree to. Is it women’s fault in this, or are all the misdeeds of men unworthy of forgiveness, and the chosen ones are simply forced to use such methods of re-education?

Intuition

You intuitively feel that something is wrong. Even if everything seems perfect and all your friends are jealous of you. But you understand that they only see the external side of your relationship. After all, if a man really loved you, then there would be no room for doubt. When paired with him, you feel insecure, uncomfortable (at the same time, he may say that he loves you).

If you are loved, then there is always a feeling of confidence in this! And if doubts creep in, and even more than once, something is probably really wrong. We recently talked about the signs of a serious relationship, we advise you to read this material and check if these signs exist in your relationship.

Manipulation

Manipulation in relationships occurs, but is only acceptable as rare and unconscious behavior. If your man purposefully reads books on how to manipulate people and uses similar techniques in communicating with you, then this is a serious reason to think about it.

Especially if you feel psychological pressure from your partner, ignoring your attitude to the situation, his determination to insist on his opinion at all costs, even through manipulation. We advise you to read our material How to protect yourself from psychological manipulation, it will help you find the right strategy of behavior. Manipulation means there is no love in the relationship.

Conflict

Your partner is not afraid to offend you, is the initiator of quarrels and conflicts (often out of nowhere), and quarrels are repeated regularly. A man who is truly in love with a woman is unlikely to strive to spoil his relationship with her. He can justify such behavior by saying that “it’s your fault,” that he has difficulties at work (at the same time, he doesn’t yell at his boss and can fully control himself), that he has an emotional nature, and so on.

But whatever the reasons, the fact is that conflicts in your relationship begin precisely on his initiative (or he inflames even the smallest quarrel), and it is you who suffer from this. A loving man is unlikely to offend his chosen one, remember this (we recommend reading the material Three signs that it’s time to break up and check your relationship).

He's unreliable

Just notice how he behaves when you really feel bad. Didn't even ask what happened? We will not write the answer again, you understand everything yourself.

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Communication style

If a man is rude to you, raises his voice, constantly criticizes you, this, of course, can be attributed to character traits. Like, he loves me very much, but his character is not sweet. But think about it, character is character, but it’s you who will have to live in such an atmosphere! And you will also have to listen to screams directed at you every day! And does it really matter whether it’s a character trait or not? After all, such behavior can destroy even the best, as it seemed at the beginning, relationships.

Do you like what he tells you about love, but is it normal for him to yell at you or be rude? In addition, the lack of respect for you (and communication with shouting, swearing, criticism and reproaches cannot be called anything else) tends to increase over time (and not decrease, as most women often hope). Therefore, you should pay attention to this manner of communication at the very beginning of the relationship (we recommend reading 5 reasons to break up with your boyfriend).

How does a spoiled opinion manifest itself?2

At the beginning of the relationship, she listens silently, with bated breath, about all the incidents in the army, jokes on friends and more. During the period of acquaintance, a minimal idea entered her head about what kind of person he was, what he was capable of, and how he spoke about his exes. Bad - speaks of his shortcomings, good - indicates respect for his ladies.

When the idealization of the image slightly does not fit into the framework of what is presented, is distorted over time, and the guy, on top of everything else, “messes up”, the girl begins to throw scandals and hysterics.

Of course, not meeting someone else’s expectations is the problem of the interlocutor, who believed that he could count on more. But when, day after day, a young and beautiful guy makes unflattering remarks about her, the chosen one begins to show a defensive reaction:

She is sometimes harsh in her words - she was once offended by a man, and she takes revenge.
The guy stumbled somewhere and lied. The woman will prick and return to this moment.
As long as she feels her power and manipulates the relationship, the guy will be in bad standing with her.

This is a banal change of leader. This happens when couples agree on some things unknown to other people, but do not understand that life in society is a constant comparison. For example, never give flowers, they say, it is not necessary. A friend slaps her friend in the face with pictures of bouquets via social networks, hinting at the success of the young man, his love (not like some).

Such roles in relationships lead to thoughts of obsession: “he doesn’t love, he specifically warned in advance about the presence of difficult work, a minimum of time, etc.” And such conditions become a stumbling block.

Reproaches and criticism

It is unlikely that anyone will argue with the fact that reproaches are not a manifestation of love. But it can be difficult to figure this out, especially if a man loves you in words, from time to time his behavior is ideal, he can even give you bouquets of flowers and boxes of chocolates, but at the same time you regularly listen to reproaches and criticism addressed to you. Moreover, criticism can be for any reason. They did it wrong, they said it wrong, you work wrong, your salary is low, you communicate with his relatives wrong, you clean the house wrong, and so on and so forth.

Criticism can overtake even the most ideal housewife or career woman, whose successes at work everyone admires, but her partner is always dissatisfied and will always find a reason to reproach her for something. It’s hardly possible to say that this man loves you, because a loving person, as a rule, sees only good in a partner, and simply does not notice shortcomings (we recently talked about Signs of a good husband, which will help you figure out whether this partner is right for you or not ).

How to learn to respect a man?

In the last article, I talked about what men really expect from us. And one of the three most important qualities that are so necessary for them and so valued by men is the manifestation of Respect!

And today I want to talk about exactly this.

Respect a man - how is it??

When I ask training participants what respect is, I usually hear very different answers. For example, that “respect is recognition,” or “respect means appreciating, accepting for who one is,” and for some, respect is akin to admiration.

That is, everyone understands the word “respect” in their own way, some decipher this word with generally accepted phrases, cliches heard on TV or from books, others repeat the words of their parents.

And someone talks about their personal experience, having already lived and encountered in their life the presence or absence of this very “Respect”.

How do you understand this word, what meaning do you give it?

I re-read many dictionaries and some books on this topic, completed a training of the same name, talked with colleagues who were significant to me, in search of deciphering this word for myself.

And I came to the following result: Respect is recognition of a person’s individuality, along with his merits and characteristics

That is, respect means not only being able to see the dignity of this person, his best qualities, but also recognizing his right to have some of his own characteristics. To see that without them this person could not be what he is now.

Is your husband full of “flaws” or “peculiarities”?

I like to call features what are usually called disadvantages. After all, it is only for you that his forgetfulness, for example, may be a disadvantage.

It is quite possible that for another woman this is a sweet character trait, indicating that the man is so passionate about his work that he forgets about everyday trifles.

How do you feel about the characteristics of your man?

Do you allow him to have them? Or do you think they need to be eradicated?

One of the training participants could not come to terms with the fact that her husband was often very indifferent and indifferent to other people, especially relatives and friends.
And when we began to analyze this claim of hers, it turned out that this man occupies a very important and responsible position, and all his strength goes into achieving the best results in his place.
He is concentrated and focused on what he can do with 100% quality. And, perhaps, yes, he is not so sociable, and seems indifferent when communicating with loved ones.
In doing so, he strives to benefit many more people. Shouldn't this be a reason to be proud of your husband?

It’s amazing how sometimes, behind a person’s small feature, we don’t see his highest dignity!!!

Start showing respect now!

I want to sum it up: respect is something a man simply craves to receive from you.

. And, of course, you can endlessly search for its decoding and read how to develop it. But I urge you now to go and show respect to your man.

Think about what you can do to make your man feel more respect for you right now?

Perhaps you will meet him on the doorstep with a smile when he comes home tired from work. Either you, before pestering him with questions about what happened to him, give him time to be alone, or show respect for his passion for football and not become a distraction during the next match, or you do something else.

Where to begin?

And the very first thing I suggest you do is ask your man by what actions of yours does he understand that you respect him, or what actions does he miss from you?

When you ask about this, also be respectful and give the man time if he says he doesn't know and needs to think about it. He will really need time to think.

Develop respect for your man within yourself, collect his virtues and admire him, see advantages in his shortcomings.

Think about it, is it possible for this man to be exactly like this (with his best qualities and manifestations) without what you call shortcomings? Does this happen?

There are many other ways to develop respect for your man - use them!

And if you want to do it faster, more fun and more efficiently, then come to the training and we will develop respect together!!!

Author of the article: Nadezhda Panchulidze, expert in relationships between Men and Women

Author of the training “How to Inspire a Man” and the project “Successful Wives Club”

Trainer GRC-Relationship Centers

Excessive emotionality

If you see that a man is unable to control his emotions and can break into a scream at any moment, it is unlikely that you will be able to build a long-term and harmonious relationship with him.

These signs can be considered either individually or in combination with each other. If you notice this in a man’s behavior not once or twice, but constantly, this is a serious reason to think about the prospects of your relationship with him. And here it is you who must make the decision, because you will have to live in such a relationship.

Text: women's portal

Where does disrespect for a woman on the part of a man come from, and what does this mean for him? In a dream or in reality

It seems that disrespect for women among men has been going on for a long time. Physically, a man is stronger, and since he is used to focusing on strength and respecting strength, a woman, being physically weaker, does not evoke respect from men. Let’s remember the phrases from childhood: “You’re a man, don’t cry, you’re strong!” It turns out that I, a man, am somehow superior to a woman, I stand above her in some hierarchy, and accordingly, a woman stands lower. Just as the heart is located lower in the body in relation to the head. But does this mean that the heart is weaker than the brain? Without cardiac activity, the brain will not receive nutrition. The heart works 24 hours a day, unlike the brain.

A woman is a manifestation of our heart in the outside world. And not only the physical heart, but mostly the heart as the source of life! And what’s most interesting is that a man, somewhere deep inside, guesses about this fact, feels in a woman a great power of a different order, first of all, the power of emotions and also the very power of life! It is for this reason that over the centuries a man has always tried to control a woman and created appropriate laws for this.

By denying strength in a woman, a man creates for himself not abstract problems, but, for example, health problems.

Therefore, in my opinion, a woman should not compete with a man in success in the outside world. And it is advisable for a man to learn to respect a woman. And then this will save him, in particular, from many heart diseases that most often affect men.

In reality or in a dream...

Many may have heard about such cases when a person in a dream or in a borderline state between sleep and wakefulness is suffocated, a certain entity falls on him and thereby causes fear and other uncomfortable states. The sensations can be very vivid and believable. I recently encountered such a case in a 9-year-old child. Sometimes it can be difficult for an adult to help in this situation. How to help a child whose psyche has not yet strengthened and whose fear can be enormous?

- Of course, someone who is not afraid to come into contact with such an entity can help here, examine it, find out its motives, intentions and then, perhaps, try to come to an agreement with it. Then it’s a matter of technology, your knowledge of the subtle world. And the power with which you work. This could be your, so to speak, personal power or the power of God, Divine light. Although, to be honest, they go hand in hand. Here the matter is simply something else. Where will this entity go after you “convince” it to leave the child alone? If this essence is essentially formed by the child's reaction to, say, watching thrillers, the issue can be resolved, in principle, easily. In the presence of the child, calmly talk to this entity. But if there is something more serious there, you may have to deal with it for a long time, overcoming yourself and your fear. Of course, all cases are different, and all circumstances and details are clarified on the spot.

And if a child manifests certain superpowers like this, then he simply needs to be taught how to control his abilities and the fear that will be present when everything unfamiliar and incomprehensible appears.