Online dating: does it make sense?

Many young people believe that online dating is the best path to a successful romantic relationship. After all, we live in the age of technology, in a world characterized by movement, speed and many choices. Every day we have the opportunity to choose from hundreds of activities only those that are truly worthy and can benefit us.

Online dating apps make it easier to find a partner

Nowadays, we calmly choose what food to eat, what clothes to wear, where and with whom to work, with whom to build relationships, and so on. Our lifestyle is completely different from any previous generation. We have broken past mental paradigms. As a result, we recognize that our happiness and satisfaction are the original motivation for our lives. We are assertive. We are not afraid to strive for big things. We have learned to say no, and we want to choose only what suits us best.

Thanks to our connected way of thinking, we can now plan dates properly. It is easier for us to find a more suitable person for communication or a life partner. Dating sites help us in this matter. After all, thanks to them, we have a wider choice of romantic partners.

Using dating apps allows us to select the most important characteristics that our ideal partner should have. You can choose whatever is important to you. But you must be completely honest when describing what you want from a person. The most important feature for me, and probably for many others, is that you can filter out those who have qualities that you hate. This feature will save you from many terrible and disastrous dates.

Have you ever used a dating app or dating site?

I know that many people do not take full advantage of the digital age and all its resources. This also includes dating apps. But we don’t live the way our ancestors lived. Therefore, the smartest decision we can make is to use all the technological resources available to us.

What is the danger?

Building love online can have its consequences. First of all, addiction. People are so captivated by the fact of correspondence that they are completely immersed in the virtual world. Moreover, without embarrassment, a person introduces himself as anyone, says anything, without being responsible for his words.

The problem of communicating on the Internet is due to the fact that people here find friends and love, hiding from loneliness in real life. However, problems in life are not solved in this way, but rather get worse. It is more difficult for a person who is addicted to communication on the Internet to contact people in the future. Gradually this habit becomes dull. It is quite difficult to get out of this web on your own. Many people resort to the help of a psychologist.

The main problems of communication on the Internet:

Self-identification. A person chooses a specific role for himself, putting on a comfortable mask. At the same time, the contrived role gradually turns into a habit. A person loses his individuality.
Addiction. Problems, complexes, failures - all these components lead a person to online communication. At the same time, in real life they only get worse, and the desire to be “online” increases. In other words, a person leaves, hides from his real problems. You can compare this phenomenon with a debtor who hides from creditors because of debts.
Habit of deception. Yes, virtuality allows for lies and embellishment of one’s biography.

Gradually, lying becomes a habit and “migrates” into real life.

Online dating sites can save you from terrible dates

I think you already know that online dating apps, after you set the necessary settings to avoid people who are not suitable for you, will automatically weed out unwanted candidates. You will be provided with an extensive list of possible people who match all of your values and selection criteria.

After this, you will receive all the profiles of eligible men or women. You can read information about them, look at their photos, learn about their hobbies, work, dreams, expectations and so on. The information provided will give you a clear picture of the person you are interested in. These features enhance your ability to find a great partner and even a life partner.

Virtual relationships: psychology

Building a relationship between a woman and a man implies certain principles. Virtual relationships are based on the following basics:

the peculiarity of communication is formed on experience, temperament, upbringing and social environment;
in psychology, the basis of communication between the opposite sex is equality, which gives the right to conduct a dialogue;
the individuality of each person.

Why do people meet online? This phenomenon is rather a consequence of our modern life. Nowadays, many young people are passionate about building a career and making money. They work hard. Therefore, there is practically no time left for relaxation and meeting people in a club, at parties, exhibitions or restaurants. Other people often have complexes because of their imagined shortcomings, so they are afraid to meet someone in real life. They feel much bolder in their comfort zone: at home in front of the monitor.

On the Internet, anyone can become some kind of superhero, successful businessman, top beauty or model. These are the masks that you can try on, and you won’t get anything for it. In fact, such people in life turn out to be cowardly, unsociable and complex.

Dating apps save you time

Using dating apps saves thousands of hours. And, if you, like me, are a shy person, then this increases your chances of finding a more suitable person to date, and feel comfortable. After all, it is much easier to write a message and start dating remotely than to approach a person and start talking. In this way, you can find many suitable topics for communication in the future. As a result, it will be much easier for you during a real meeting.

After exchanging messages, after some time you can decide whether you want to meet this person or not. You can be frank with him and write everything you think. After all, you are in a place where people simply meet based on certain principles. Therefore, if you are open and sincere, your chances of finding your ideal partner increase.

In addition, online dating sites and apps give you the opportunity to have multiple conversations simultaneously with as many potential partners as your heart desires. This optimizes your time so that you go on dates with people who are really interesting and suitable for you. You can use the apps anywhere and anytime. Without any restrictions. You can filter anyone you find unsuitable for your search.

Virtual love and relationships: what's the difference?

Each of us needs love, we have an innate need to love and be loved. Moreover, this need is manifested in recognition, approval, respect and complete acceptance. When a person is in love, he is happy, fulfilled and full of strength and energy. Therefore, if a person does not find love in real life, he looks for it on the Internet.

Virtual love and virtual relationships are almost the same concepts. Love on the Internet is a far-fetched fact that is based on fantasy, imagination and the idea of a partner. Moreover, these ideas may absolutely not correspond to a real person. Therefore, people often get upset when meeting a virtual partner in life. The far-fetched does not coincide with reality. Moreover, the fact of unjustified expectations is manifested from appearance to demeanor and character. For example, “ugh, she’s not as beautiful as in the photo” or “he turned out to be so unsightly.”

Virtual relationships are communication between people in which they do not see each other, do not touch and do not perform any actions towards each other. However, they conditionally consider themselves a couple. They reinforce their “love” with emoticons with kisses, compliments and wishes of “good morning” and “good night”.

Virtual love is a kind of mind game. Playing at love, a person does not see, does not hear, does not understand what is happening around him, in real life. Moreover, he can talk about himself for days. It is not a fact that what is told will be true.

It is very rare that virtual lovers meet in reality.

Both virtual relationships and virtual love begin as quickly as they end quickly. Especially after a real meeting.

Final Thoughts

Nowadays, finding a person to walk with or a life partner is much easier than ever. Today no one uses the telegraph to send urgent messages. We need to recognize that our world is very different now than it was 20 years ago. We are determined to get the most out of our lives. We need to use every resource possible to achieve success, happiness and satisfaction. Why would we settle for less, right?

But there is also a “fly in the ointment” in this. After all, many of us are just waiting for something good to happen, or for someone to appear in our lives. Many people can spend days on the Internet waiting to meet an ideal partner or their soulmate on a dating site. Therefore, here you need to follow reasonable limits, and be sure to combine online communication with real meetings.

Do you think dating apps or sites can be useful for finding a partner?

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Dating: how to behave

The topic of relationships between the two sexes is always relevant, but with the arrival of spring its relevance increases significantly!

At this time of year, due to natural (not global) warming, people, regardless of gender, begin to become more and more active on the “personal front”. But in order for events to boil there, each side needs to take the first step. In our culture, it is generally accepted that the man should always make the first move in the dating process (and, to be honest, I agree with this). But since many representatives of the fair sex are accustomed to suffering from their eternal loneliness in silence, it would not be superfluous to tell what they do when they meet a guy they like. Of course, the most basic mistakes during the first acquaintance can happen to anyone, but in order to minimize this scenario, it is enough to avoid making a few key mistakes

, which are typical for many of us during our first personal contact with the opposite sex.
To begin with, I will list three main mistakes that men make:
1) Timid behavior.

If there is no initiative on the male side, then in our cultural environment, in the overwhelming majority of cases, the acquaintance fails. We are not in the States, where a girl can come up to you, offer to take a walk together, have a drink, and then go to her - and from the outside such behavior will seem absolutely natural. But the vast majority of our girls will wait for the first step from a man. Therefore, guys, if you like a girl, approach her immediately, in the first ten seconds after the first visual contact, and most importantly, learn to behave relaxed - calm, easy and relaxed. There is no sadder picture than when a normal man, approaching a girl, suddenly begins to babble something incomprehensible, forgetting his name and pitifully asking to join him. Nowadays there are a lot of success trainings and acting courses where you can hone your communication skills. After all, timidity is most often evidence of either a lack of communication skills or a carefully hidden inferiority complex. Therefore, if you think that you have insurmountable complexes, psychological trauma, or some other psychological barriers that do not allow you to boldly approach the woman you like, in this case, muster up the courage to at least seek help from a psychologist .

2) The desire to appear sweet and pleasant.

Many men, alas, do not understand that in order to switch to a comfortable communication mode, they first need to arouse the girl’s interest in her person. And you can arouse such interest only by behaving confidently, and at the same time, making it clear that you value yourself no less than her. Such a guy, when he gets acquainted, immediately begins to shower the girl with compliments, thereby putting her on a pedestal (absolutely not knowing what she really is) and completely forgetting about self-respect. He shows that he is ready to prostrate himself in front of her, hastily fulfilling any of her requests, simply because he is “good.” The irony is that if this girl is really beautiful, then every day there can be a dozen such pleasant guys hovering around her, who from the first minutes faithfully look into her eyes, saying compliments and, seemingly in a very veiled way, trying to make her , in such a simple way, sexual interest in yourself. But the problem is that such a girl already sees these “gentlemen” a mile away, who cause nothing but a feeling of boredom in her, and calculating in advance all their male maneuvers, she has in stock a whole arsenal of techniques that help her in a few seconds, or minutes, send such a suitor away. In the best case, she will begin to perceive him simply as a good friend. But not as a man!

3) Excessive expression.

The opposite example of an unsuccessful acquaintance is the overly assertive behavior of a man who, either trying to hide his self-doubt in this way, or to show his originality in combination with poor upbringing, immediately begins to behave deliberately self-confident and cheeky, thus demonstrating “brutality” and “ masculinity".

This form of aggressive communication, in the overwhelming majority of cases, does not cause anything in girls except fear and a desire to quickly stop any contact with such a person.

And now a few words about the three main women’s mistakes in communicating with men

1) Harsh behavior in response.

Even to those men who arouse their sympathy and interest, some girls demonstrate with their entire appearance and behavior from the first minutes of their acquaintance: “I am strong and independent.”

Women's independence is, of course, good.
But if her demonstration begins immediately with aggressive verbal attacks, when there is no need to defend herself, then such a girl clearly does not take into account the peculiarities of male perception. Since aggression is an element of behavior primarily inherent to the male sex, observing it, the guy involuntarily, at the level of his emotions, begins to see in such a friend not a “sweet, capricious bitch,” but another representative of his own sex.
Therefore, girls who practice this style of communication should not be surprised that guys very quickly lose all interest in them and look for a more friendly passion.

2) A well-known myth about men.

Many girls, after successfully meeting a guy they like, cannot develop this relationship because of their own belief in one well-known myth. And it consists in the fact that a man, supposedly, can be kept near you for a long time, on a short leash, only with his beauty and demonstrative indifference. Yes, some men, with a traumatized psyche in the sphere of close relationships, really love all their lives only those women who do not love them.

They suffer all the time and strive to prove to the object of their love that he is truly worthy of it. Demonstrating their flawed behavior in this way, these men over and over again seek not love, but the opportunity to experience new “romantic” torments, receiving perverted pleasure thanks to latent masochism. But here a reasonable question arises for all women: “Do you need such a man next to you?”

If not, then remember a simple thing: we men, despite your feminine charms (sexual power), also see your “tricks” aimed at manipulating us.

Therefore, do not be surprised when, over and over again, showing us “your indifference,” you one day find yourself being replaced. I am sure that all men understand me now.

3) Stereotypical behavior patterns.

The funniest thing for me in women’s communication with men is the desire of girls to attract the attention of the guys they like, in a way as old as time - going everywhere together with a “ugly friend”. The thing is that this trick has long been successfully exposed by the “Masters of Seduction”

, or in simple terms –
pick-up artists.
A girl who comes, for example, to a club with her not-so-pretty girlfriend expects to attract guys by contrast:
“I’m a beauty,” and “she’s a chump
.
What does a professional womanizer do in this case: he resolutely goes not to the beauty, but to her friend, demonstrating with all his appearance, actions and beautiful words how fascinated and subjugated he is by her! Naturally, he pays zero attention to the beauty at this moment. And she, in a natural shock, suddenly inflamed with interest in such a gentleman, begins to try to establish communication with him, with difficulty picking up her self-esteem from the floor, along with her lower jaw. (Guys, just don’t thank me in chorus for this advice!)
And the natural result of such an acquaintance for the “beauty” is another breakup with an attractive guy, albeit after a well-spent stormy night. And her friend will probably have the most pleasant memories of communicating with the gallant gentleman.

In general, summing up everything said above, I just want to note and emphasize that, despite the fact that any successful relationship between a man and a woman always begins with an acquaintance, and not forgetting how important this first step is, the further development of our relationship is no less important. Therefore, I would like to wish all people who are looking for their soulmate (regardless of gender and age), having met her, not to pass by: every man at such a moment should take the first confident step, and every woman will understand and appreciate it correctly! And, as we find ourselves, on the eve of International Women's Day

, I would like to wish, in addition, to all men: Love your women sincerely, as they are, without unnecessary quibbles, because we don’t deserve others anyway!
And, as the old, essentially biblical wisdom says, subtly altered in a modern way: “Men, do not judge women for their extra pounds, so that you will not be judged for the missing centimeters!..”
To all our lovely women, happy MARCH 8!! !

I wish you all goodness, love and harmony in your personal relationships!

Thank you for attention!

The site editors are not responsible for the content of blogs. The editor's opinion may differ from the author's.

Why do men like virtual love?

The answer is more than specific: lack of communication in life. Why does a man need virtual relationships? Many men say they are perfecting their flirting practice. Moreover, it is predominantly married men who choose this method of strengthening their skills.

On a psychological level, men do not regard flirting in correspondence as cheating. For them, this is nothing more than entertainment, which can be compared to their favorite computer game “Tanks”.

According to statistics, about 26% of all men over the age of 30 choose virtual relationships. Many of them practice virtual sex and completely refuse to start relationships in reality.

Why do men love virtual relationships? Because there are no obligations. Taking responsibility is difficult. Men “save” themselves from the ordinariness of family life. And on the Internet they take turns putting on masks: today - an insidious seducer, tomorrow - a tempting serpent. However, unfortunately, not a single mask gets along in reality with such a “mask-wearing” man.

Psychologists say that men like virtual communication because of its mystery. They like to think out the image of a girl, fill her with personal expectations and fantasies. In a kind of mental way, a man himself makes his ideal out of a woman by correspondence. This is the kind of woman he lacks in real life.

However, most often such relationships do not end in anything. It is difficult for a man to match his chosen “mask” in reality. Moreover, in life you also often lack the courage to meet a girl.

Is it necessary to move from virtual to real?

It all depends on your moral readiness and the purpose of communication. Sometimes it is better not to move from the virtual world to the real one. However, if the desire to meet in life is mutual, then why should you resist? If your wishes do not come true, then let it be a lesson. As they say, it is better to do something and regret it than not to do it and also regret it.

You should not have high hopes for a meeting in reality. Often people become just good friends. Often the first meeting in life becomes the last. The interlocutor does not have to meet your expectations, just as you do not have to meet his.

Virtual relationships are all about experience: whether good or not depends on the situation. However, this experience is priceless. It’s better to meet a person in life and chat. In this case, you can consider it. What if, indeed, this person is the one you’ve been looking for for so long?!

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Rules of communication on the Internet

Virtual relationships involve interesting communication. You can't go anywhere without this. So, to establish contact, you need to follow these rules:

Don't respond to banal messages with a smiley face or "Hello." Reply to long, complete messages.
Finding the golden mean will help you answer questions correctly. For example, you should not answer too briefly or too long. You can answer the question without starting “from the fifth kilometer” and telling the details of your biography. Otherwise, your interlocutor will become bored with you.
Obsession repels a woman. Therefore, men, if a woman has not responded to the first two messages from you, it means that she does not want to communicate with you.
If you really like the interlocutor, then you should not write about your feelings in the first message. This will scare you. You should not talk about intimate topics with an unfamiliar interlocutor if he did not initiate the discussion of this topic.
Women love with their ears. Correctly given compliments have never harmed anyone. At the same time, you need to give a compliment unobtrusively, carefully, without flattery.

The main rule in virtual communication is to be sincere. Just as you are!