For the reasons for bad mood, psychological fatigue, apathy, depression, the first thing I want to do is blame the environment: other people, the injustice of life and the imperfection of the government. But deep down, everyone knows that the causes of adversity are within a person, in internal imbalance, in the lack of harmony between internal and external. It seems that those around you seem to be deliberately getting on your nerves and testing your patience. If you follow the sensations and find the root cause of the negative reaction, then it will always be associated with the lack of inner harmony of a person.
The environment is like a mirror of internal problems
The Universe is a single system, the parts of which constantly exchange energy with each other. The ongoing energy exchange is also accompanied by the exchange of information, thanks to which people at a subconscious level pick up signals about a person’s mood and the qualities of his character. This is the truest knowledge, because... It is the first impression, the feeling from meeting a person that is correct.
The fact is that the perception of the surrounding world is based on the “mirror” model. External energy impulses pass through internal filters of the subconscious and consciousness, thereby provoking one or another reaction. If the filters work crookedly, then you can’t expect a healthy reaction. The whole point of working with the “mirror” principle is to understand the cause of a negative reaction to external impulses.
Psychologists say that if a certain person is an active irritant, constantly putting the observed person into a nervous and aggressive state, this means that the observed person sees his own qualities in the object, which he wants to get rid of or simply does not accept them in himself. Such an imbalance can only be resolved by a conscious attitude towards yourself, your emotions, and reactions to the people around you.
First of all, you need to learn to control your condition. Considering the fact that the energy exchange system is unified, you should do the opposite and practice the next exercise.
The point of the exercise is a conscious, intentional feeling of love for the people around you, and these are not necessarily relatives or friends, just random passers-by are chosen as objects.
The training process is as follows:
- find a quiet place where you can watch people passing by;
- take a comfortable body position;
- relax and let go of all negative feelings, clear your head of thoughts as much as possible;
- watch people passing by;
- mentally approach and hug a person passing by, sincerely, from the heart.
At the same time, consciousness opens to universal love for all living things, nature and one’s own kind.
Such love is considered an emotion that heals a person from the inside. Taking into account the law of the “mirror”, the energy sent out in this way will return positive, filled with love and care of the world, beneficial.
Wheel of Life
Loss of inner harmony and tranquility can occur due to disorientation in life, loss of beacons of movement, and the feeling that life is passing by. In this situation, the “Wheel of Life” exercise, which is a visualized model of human drivers, will be useful to recreate harmony. The wheel determines the most important areas of life on which you need to spend available resources in the form of time and energy.
The wheel is depicted in the shape of a circle, divided into segments. The number of segments is individual, depending on the goals and priorities of the person, the size of each part on the circle can also be different, although they are often depicted as equal to maintain the harmony and integrity of the system.
The standard areas on the wheel are: family, career, health, finances, personal growth, spirituality, recreation, relationships. The formation of such a model of life helps to structure desires, goals, dreams, correlating them with available resources. This is a way to look at your life from the outside, assessing the strengths and weaknesses of personal management.
Visualizing the picture of life helps to find the causes of internal imbalance. After depicting all significant segments, it is necessary to evaluate the effectiveness of each at a given time on a 10-point scale. The harmony of the inner world depends on the understanding that time and energy are spent on what is important for this particular person. To achieve harmony, all assessments must be maximum, only then the wheel can move along the road of life smoothly, steadily and without stress. If at least one element has low indicators, the movement will stop, and a new launch will require a colossal amount of effort directed pointwise to the sinking zone.
The wheel, once worked out, will serve as a constant control tool by which a person can always compare and adjust the course of his movement, consciously directing life in one direction or another. Realizing where, why and with what set of tools a person goes, it will be easier for him to find and maintain inner harmony.
In addition to global aspects (interaction with the world and understanding one’s own movement through life), many techniques have been developed to help people who are concerned about how to find inner harmony, getting rid of the noise of problems swarming in the mind and nervousness.
Harmony
A world of diversity and opposites.
We live in a world of opposites. Love and hate, birth and death, good and evil, joy and sorrow, meetings and partings. People, their desires, goals, actions also differ from each other. “The Universe is diversity in unity” (O. Balzac).
The balance of the world is in the unity of diversity, in the unity of opposites.
“Harmony... arises from opposites. For harmony is the union of a diverse mixture and the agreement of the diverse” (Philolaus).
Harmony translated from Greek means connection, proportionality, harmonious order. In a general sense, harmony presupposes the possibility of unity in multiplicity. It is a connection representing the exact proportion between the parts that make up the whole. Harmony arises as an order according to which the various relationships that make up the whole, the various functions of a being or system, contribute to one goal.
Harmony as a state of internal and external balance.
Not everyone knows the state of inner comfort. A person’s inner peace is disturbed by mutually exclusive desires, divergent goals, inconsistent plans, and conflicting feelings.
The state of harmony presupposes the desire to establish internal consistency. A person strives to find a balance between reason and feelings, between “I want” and “I can”, between desires and a sense of duty, between pleasures and guilt, between the material and the spiritual. He tries to follow the path of achieving internal integrity. He develops the ability to integrate contradictory aspects within himself, to cope with dual internal impulses in order to come to an agreement between multidirectional motives, that is, to achieve internal balance.
At the same time, a person strives to establish external balance. The state of harmony presupposes a movement towards coherence and balance in relations with the outside world: in the immediate environment and in the wider living space.
The state of equilibrium is not stable and unchanging, but it implies a dynamic equilibrium. Internal and external balance is constantly disturbed. “Balance and life are incompatible concepts. Life is constant change. Once the movement slows down, a person ages. When movement stops altogether, death occurs” (A. Maurois).
A person can be considered as a self-developing system that interacts with the outside world. The dynamic aspect of the psyche is the motivational-need sphere: needs, incentives, drives, interests, etc. "Desire is the driving force of the soul"
, said Helvetius.
At the same time, a person is exposed to external influences from the surrounding world and reacts to it, and also influences the external environment. “You can only be in the most complete harmony with yourself, not with a friend, not with your beloved, because the difference in individuality and mood each time produces some at least insignificant dissonance” (A. Schopenhauer).
S. Freud described a structural model of the psyche, which consists of three instances: It (Id)
,
I (Ego)
and
Super-Ego (Super-Ego)
.
The basis of any action is a motivational principle, often not realized by the person himself. It
is the bearer of all human drives and impulses.
The super-ego
is a system of prohibitions and restrictions, socially defined norms by society; this authority controls and evaluates a person’s actions from the standpoint of society.
I
instance is the arena of struggle of all influencing forces.
The ego
is subject to pressure
from the id
and
the superego
.
Impulses, feelings, desires, aspirations from the id
often conflict with the peculiarities of the life situation.
The self
resists unconscious impulses, on the one hand, and social prohibitions, on the other.
I
instance is subject to the principle of reality, expressed in the search for socially acceptable forms of satisfying drives.
“Psychoanalysis has its own scale of values - a higher harmony of the Ego, which must fulfill the task of successful mediation between the onslaughts of instinctive life (Id) and the external world, that is, between external and internal reality” (S. Freud)
.
A person is contradictory: on the one hand, he strives to ensure that his life is stable, but on the other, a certain dissatisfaction drives him forward. The meaning of a person’s life, his goal is outside of himself, at the same time, a person strives for a state of internal balance.
Harmony does not mean the absence of difficulties and conflicts. Internal contradictions cause a desire to overcome discomfort. Unfulfilled desires and goals are an incentive for personal growth. Complete satisfaction with life can become an obstacle to further development.
Harmony and quality of life
The harmonious combination of spiritual, psychological, social and physical health of an individual is determined by the concept of “quality of life”, which appeared in the late 50s. XX century.
Social health
It is characterized by the optimal development of various spheres of life. A. Adler wrote that every person faces three main life tasks - work, friendship, love. These tasks are determined by the fundamental principles of human existence. Work creates satisfaction and a sense of self-worth to the extent that it is useful to others. Friendship expresses our belonging to the human race. Love is a close union of mind and body, which is necessary for procreation.
Relationships with others should be built on the basis of cooperation, mutual personal growth, equality, and mutual respect. A person’s behavior must be flexible, because, living in society, he must follow its rules and adapt to changes.
Spiritual health
People are united by a system of eternal values. Using it, a person comprehends the phenomena occurring in the world. This gives him a sense of belonging, unity with other people and the world. A person who has a humanistic worldview follows the well-known commandments - to be honest and decent, not to harm other people, not to betray, and not to go against one’s convictions and conscience. “No benefits achieved at the cost of crime can compensate for the loss of peace of mind” (G. Fielding).
Physical health
It is very important to have good physical health. Poor physical well-being can worsen your perception of life and negatively affect your lifestyle. “Disease is a punishment for the inability to keep one’s flesh in harmony with nature” (Vissarion).
Psychological health
A person will achieve harmony with the world if he is in harmony with himself. This requires a positive attitude towards yourself, a positive idea of your abilities and capabilities, and self-acceptance. A person must have a meaning to his existence, as well as a stable hierarchy of motives and value systems. W. James wrote that “our sense of self in this world depends solely on who we intend to become and what we intend to do.”
A harmonious life presupposes that there is creativity in a person’s life. He thinks about his calling and purpose, strives for self-realization. He has a positive outlook on the world and a positive attitude towards others, as well as an active life position.
Harmony is manifested in a feeling of internal well-being and comfort, satisfaction with one’s lifestyle and relationships with other people, and good physical well-being. This allows you to perceive life in all its diversity; live fully by exploring the world; maintain a fresh perception and assessment of reality.
Hermit or fighter?
“We must learn to remain calm during periods of hectic activity and to be internally mobile while remaining calm.” Indira Gandhi
Is harmony possible outside of relationships with the world, if a person lives in isolation, not interested in the world around him, or is in the position of an observer, guided by the Chinese proverb: “If you sit quietly and do nothing, then spring comes, the grass grows on its own”
?
Or can a fighter who fights with his shortcomings and strives to change the world around him, one who follows the motto, be in a harmonious state: “The essence of human nature is in movement.
Complete rest means death" (Pascal) ?
So what is harmony - is it being in a detached state, in the position of an observer, or being in the position of an active participant in life? Is it possible to consider your life harmonious if you devote yourself entirely to some task to the detriment of everything else? “Every person is obsessed with something”
, wrote R. Kipling. Any extreme is limiting. Disharmony occurs when any one area of life receives preferential development, when the goal of achieving success in a specific area is set. This is a focus on the end result. An imbalance of development occurs when, striving for something, a person loses sight of life itself: for the sake of the result, he loses the process itself.
A harmonious life requires a balance in all areas of life. Each of the areas of life - work, family, career, friends, leisure - is important for a person. However, a person always determines his own priorities. At the same time, one will not replace the other. If we have not developed any area of life, sooner or later dissatisfaction and some imbalance in personal development will arise. A career cannot replace a family, and friends cannot replace a child.
We are all different, each with our own life meanings and values, desires and goals, different levels of aspirations, different characters and temperaments, different needs for communication, physical activity, and degrees of privacy. And at each stage of life there is a certain state of health and emotional background, depending on the stress, illness, experiences, etc. Everyone chooses the optimal state for themselves: to isolate themselves from the world with its inexhaustible possibilities or to strive for variety in life. The opportunities that the world around us provide to humans are endless. However, with all the desire for diversity in life, “one cannot embrace the immensity”: go everywhere, see everything, read everything, watch, try. You always have to choose.
What prevents you from being in harmony with yourself and the world around you?
It is difficult to achieve inner harmony if you constantly experience dual, contradictory feelings, inconsistent aspirations, and your ideas about life are conflicting; if you are torn by doubts, if you are not satisfied with your life. A person experiences internal discomfort if he cannot come to coherence and balance of his multidirectional, polar motivations.
Also destructive for mental comfort and personal development is the lack of meaning and goals and, conversely, too high a level of aspirations, when there is a great gap between desires, aspirations and opportunities to realize them.
“When you sum up your bitter experience, You will understand that the path to harmony is shorter, If you always want only what you can, And you can certainly do what you want” E. Sevrus
A person’s inner world is destroyed by lack of confidence in one’s strengths and lack of self-love. A negative attitude towards oneself also adversely affects relationships with other people. Roles and positions in society that do not suit a person may be due to the inability to establish close, trusting relationships with others or such character traits and behavior that repel other people from him (for example, greed, arrogance, intolerance, stubbornness).
Peace of mind is disturbed by preoccupation with endless problems and constantly experienced negative emotions. Inner peace is destroyed by fears, resentments, disappointment, despair, and hatred. The situation gets worse when health problems arise.
Steps to a harmonious life
- The path to harmony is self-knowledge. It is important to determine what you really want: your goals, plans, desires. Don’t strive to be like everyone else, focusing on other people’s life models and relationships. Don’t live according to a pattern, adapting to other people’s behavior and getting involved in other people’s competitions, in someone else’s race for success. Be able to be independent from environmental influences. Find your calling. Follow your purpose. Bring creativity into your life. Everyone evaluates the success of life by comparing what they have achieved with their true desires and their purpose. At the same time, desires must be realistic. By devoting your life to one thing and abandoning everything else, you can make a mistake.
- An important condition for spiritual harmony and inner peace is not indulging your whims and impulsive desires, but the ability to be content with what you have.
- Often what causes strong feelings later seems momentary and vain. “All is vanity of vanities and catching the wind” (Solomon)
. You need to be able to free yourself from the hustle and bustle. Take a break from ambitions, the race for success, money, and the struggle for power. A person should have the opportunity to be in solitude, so that the soul is freed, to feel the world around him, to think about life. - You need to be able to establish interpersonal relationships. The more diverse the communication, the more knowledge, opportunities, and life choices. “When living with people, do not forget what you learned in solitude. And in solitude, think about what you have learned from communicating with people” (L. Tolstoy).
- “It takes all kinds to make a world” (English proverb)
.
An active life position helps to go beyond the limits of one’s existence, forms a broader view of things, and contributes to the development of all areas of life. The fullness of life is created by its diversity.
“From diversity arises perfect harmony” (Heraclitus) . - Most people complain about their past, while others worry about the future. Few people live in the present. In thoughts, a person is usually outside the situation he is living. We must live in the current moment: do not worry about the past, do not worry about the future. You need to be present where you are now.
- “One should look at a day as a small life” (M. Gorky)
.
To achieve inner comfort, good physical well-being is necessary. “A healthy mind in a healthy body” (Juvenal)
.
A positive attitude is also important. Our external world is the realized world of our thoughts. Life gives us what we expect to receive from it. The events that happened were often predetermined by ourselves. Like attracts like
. There are no random people in our lives. People who are similar to us are attracted to us. Thinking about good, positive thoughts is a step towards creating a harmonious world. - Often, in order to learn to live in harmony with yourself and others, you need to change something in your worldview. “God, grant me the equanimity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Everything in life is transitory.
You need to accept reality, the world, yourself, others. Accept everything as it is. "Everything passes"
. - “In both singing and dancing, one must know when to stop” (Japanese proverb)
.
To achieve inner balance and comfort, you need to cultivate emotional stability. A person will always experience stress, sometimes excessively, despite all the warnings that this leads to stress and affects health. However, sudden, constant mood swings disrupt inner peace. Emotional stability and peace of mind help to withstand the blows of fate. You need to be able to forgive and let go, be able to part with the past, and not focus on the negative. “Remember, everything human is impermanent, then you will neither be too happy about a happy fate, nor too sad because of failure” (Socrates)
.
Harmony between mind, feeling and action - maybe this is happiness? It is necessary to bring into harmony, that is, consistency, your thoughts, feelings and actions, to establish harmonious relationships with the outside world. “When a person’s heart is calm and in a joyful state, then even if the colors have not reached their usual appearance, they will still be able to caress the person’s eye;
even if the sounds have not reached their usual state, they will still be able to caress the human ear” (Xun Tzu) .
Author of the article Irina Shterenberg The article was published in the journal “Psychology of Maturity and Aging”, No. 1, 2010.
