Life in virtual. How to tear a teenager away from the computer?

The Internet itself is not good or bad - it is in many ways a useful and necessary part of the modern world. Most adults are able to keep things under control by visiting online pages only when necessary. But a curious child, getting into the virtual space, tries to “squeeze” as much as possible out of it - movies, social networks, music, games, chats. And this is often to the detriment of real life. What signs will indicate that a child is developing Internet addiction? How to deal with the problem? This is discussed in our article.

What is Internet addiction: passion or obsession?

“My son is only 9 years old, but he already skillfully plays many computer games and understands modern gadgets. Lately this has started to scare me. Teachers complain about their son’s bad behavior - even during lessons he surfs the Internet on a smartphone or plays. He began to study poorly, because he does not have time to learn his lessons properly due to endless games. When everyone is already going to bed, the son can quietly turn on the computer and again surf the sites or launch his shooting games. I don’t know how to properly extinguish his excessive love for gadgets. I don’t want to ruin our relationship and cause aggression on the part of the child.”

— Anna, mother of 9-year-old Yura

Internet addiction (or Internet addiction) is an obsessive desire to constantly be online and a painful inability to “switch” to real life in time. [1]

Many children aged 5-12 years often become involved in interesting hobbies. And it doesn’t matter what it is – collecting stickers, weaving beaded bracelets or playing online games. If a child gets unlimited access to gadgets and a computer connected to the Internet, he quickly gets hooked. One click, and the child is already on the World Wide Web, where he can find a lot of entertainment, get away from problems and become whoever he wants. If timely prevention of Internet addiction is not provided, the teenager becomes so captivated by the virtual space that it replaces reality, spending up to 18 hours a day online.

The status of adult and child Internet addiction as a mental disorder has not yet been established by official medicine. But according to many experts, the mechanism of its formation is in many ways similar to alcohol, nicotine and drug addictions. As an example, consider Internet gaming addiction. Recent studies show that the amount of dopamine (the pleasure hormone) produced during video games is comparable to the effects of some drugs. [2]

What are the dangers of Internet addiction in children?

• loss of interest in what is happening around;
• impaired communication skills;
• sleep and eating disorders;
• decline in school performance;
• increased excitability and anxiety;
• memory impairment;
• health problems (obesity, eye and spine diseases, headaches).

Consequences

Everything that is excessive is not good.

Because the:

1. Prolonged absorption of excess information causes neurosis, problems with self-control and negatively affects the ability to remember well.
2. Self-identification is disrupted , since a teenager may try to enter the real world in the status achieved in the gaming space - cognitive dissonance has never benefited anyone.
3. The skill of working hard to achieve real results disappears, which hinders further development as a person capable of independent life in the future.
4. Studies suffer , real friendships are destroyed.
5. The risks of developing social phobia increase .
6. Serious problems with the spine (scoliosis, osteochondrosis, intervertebral hernia), intestines (up to volvulus or ulcers due to impaired diet and neurosis), and vision are possible.

How to approach an introverted child? Find out the answer right now.

Types of Internet addiction in children

According to psychiatrist K. Young, there are 5 types of Internet addiction. Children under 15 years of age are usually only affected by three of them. [3]

How do specific types of addiction manifest themselves?

Existing options for arranging wardrobe compartments

Strict and spacious dressing room

Today, dressing room layouts of a wide variety of sizes and configurations are allowed. The most popular is the wall-to-wall storage system, but if you are arranging a dressing room as part of the room, you should take a closer look at the following options:

• Corner design;
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• A dressing room in the form of a large closet, running along the entire wall;
• Storage systems separated by other items. A good example would be a large number of cabinets, separated from each other by a niche in which a fireplace or wide-screen TV is installed;
• A dressing room under the stairs, if you are the happy owner of two or more floors of your own apartment or house.

Dressing rooms located in a separate room:

• A classic version of a wardrobe, where wardrobes and cabinets are located along the entire perimeter. Sharp and right angles predominate, the room itself is square or rectangular, a rhombus shape is allowed;
• An attic or attic space as an area for storing things and household items.

The choice of one of the presented options depends on your financial security, the size of the apartment, as well as the wishes of all family members.

Causes of Internet addiction: why a child chooses the virtual world

A seemingly harmless hobby for online games and social networks can develop into a bad habit. So, what are the reasons that cause children to become addicted to computers and the Internet?

1. Shyness and complexes of the child

This is one of the most common causes of Internet addiction in adolescence. Shy children find it difficult to communicate with peers and find new friends. On the Internet, you can forget about your complexes, hiding behind a beautiful avatar and a daring nickname. But if virtual communication becomes a habit, then it will be even more difficult for the child to communicate with people around him.

2. Intrafamily conflicts

To avoid loud family scandals, the child often hides in the virtual world. For him, this is a great way to get away from the claims and reproaches of his parents, and not to hear their personal quarrels.

3. Stress

What difficult life situations can prompt a child to plunge headlong into the virtual world? Bullying at school, loss of a loved one, unhappy love, serious illness, overprotective parents. In a state of stress, an incompletely formed personality instinctively seeks a space in which it will be comfortable. The world of social networks or online games are becoming such a platform.

4. Too much free time

How to “kill” free time? Of course, connect the gadget to the Internet. When a child has few friends and no serious hobbies, he fights boredom in the simplest way - plays, watches movies, chats.

5. Irresponsible parents

It happens that parents themselves offer their child a gadget so that it does not interfere with their work. Very often, children under the age of 7 are distracted in this way, since it is during the preschool period that children ask a lot of questions, learn to interact with the world around them, and require a lot of attention. All this can lead to quarrels, irritation of parents and manipulation by children.

“During this period of life, the interaction between a parent and a child is very important, but many parents prefer not to waste their time and energy, not to explain to the child what is good and what is bad, but simply give him a gadget, turn on the game and step away from stressful activities . This is how the child’s addiction begins to develop.”

— Elena Krasnova, psychologist of the Russian representative office of the Institute of Distance Psychology

How to distract your child from the computer

If parents have a need to distract their child from something, it means that an addiction has already formed. The influence of the computer on the psyche of children is so great that it causes addiction no less than drug addiction.

If a child is in front of a monitor or tablet for several hours, he is constantly concentrated. Such concentration is not characteristic of the body; it is possible only for 15–20 minutes. Therefore, nervous and emotional overstrain occurs, causing absent-mindedness, anxiety and depression of the nervous system.

Children of different ages react to prohibitions in different ways. Preschool children throw a tantrum: their favorite toy is taken away, their time is limited, they offend them accordingly, and they cry from powerlessness and resentment. This is a signal to parents that it is time to take action.

School-age children, especially teenagers, become withdrawn, stop talking, harbor resentment and see prohibitions as a universal misunderstanding. How to avoid conflicts and try to distract your child with other activities?

Loving parents must understand that this requires effort and effort. To help them, we have collected several ideas on how to spend time without gadgets.

Signs of Internet addiction in children

The fact that modern children spend a certain amount of time a day “online” is considered a normal situation. It would be wrong to diagnose Internet addiction in every student who has a gadget with Internet access. However, it is important to understand what signals will help you notice the problem in time.

A number of survey techniques are used for psychological diagnosis of computer addiction. Among them is a short test for Internet addiction from psychiatrist K. Young, which she developed in 1996. It can also be used for self-diagnosis of Internet addiction in a child. The test contains 8 statements that must be answered affirmatively or negatively: [3]

1. All the child’s thoughts are only about the Internet.
2. The time a child spends on the Internet is constantly increasing.
3. There have already been unsuccessful attempts to control, limit or stop a child's Internet use.
4. A child, despite the rules set by himself or his parents, always spends more time on entertainment on the Internet than he planned.
5. Becomes tired, aggressive, or irritable when trying to limit or stop his Internet use.
6. The child lies about how much time he actually spends online.
7. The Internet is causing poor performance in school.
8. The child uses the Internet to get rid of a bad mood or hide from problems.

If you answered positively to 5 or more statements, we recommend that you think about solving the problem.

In general, the symptoms of psychological dependence on a computer in adolescents are similar to the manifestations of any other type of addiction. When a hobby becomes a bad habit, it's hard not to notice. The following signs indicate addiction:

• Compulsivity is uncontrollable behavior aimed at getting online faster. For example, a child comes home from school and immediately sits down at the computer instead of resting or having lunch.
• Negation. An addicted child has a reduced critical attitude towards the negative consequences of his addiction.
• Abstinence (withdrawal syndrome) when you are prohibited from using the Internet. The child becomes irritable and aggressive in response to parental control and comments. [4]

Prevention of Internet addiction in adolescents

“My son is 15 years old. It’s been a year since he became interested in online games. You can’t pull yourself away from the computer at all! He plays until I start yelling at him. And when it’s school holidays, he doesn’t leave the screen at all from early morning until late evening. Doesn't go for walks, doesn't communicate with anyone - only his favorite game. It is impossible to force your son to do anything around the house. He has one answer - “later.” Naturally, he doesn’t keep his promises. I gave many warnings, but one time I pulled all the wires from the computer out of the socket. I was frightened by my son’s reaction - he turned pale, his lips and hands were shaking, he was screaming like crazy. I don't know how to help him get rid of his Internet addiction. I’m afraid for my son, because of his games he has become twitchy, he talks to himself, he hardly sleeps.”

— Ekaterina, mother of 15-year-old Sasha

From the age of 10-12 years the child begins adolescence. Complexes, fears, doubts - everything gets worse. Against the background of heightened emotions, children are especially vulnerable to Internet addiction, since the virtual space gives them the illusion of importance and is a way to escape from numerous problems. It is in early adolescence that children first discover social networks and online games.

Dependence on computers and gadgets, like other non-chemical types of addiction, is easier to prevent than to treat in the future. Therefore, parents should first of all pay attention to the prevention of Internet addiction . According to psychologists, the following actions on the part of parents will be effective:

• When a child is just getting acquainted with the Internet, it is important to explain to him the basic rules of online life and show him what useful opportunities the World Wide Web provides.
• It would be a good idea to set clear time limits for using the Internet. Here it is important to do without threats and strict prohibitions - this will certainly cause a protest in the teenager.
• Parents should not lose sight of their child’s activity on social networks. But it is important not to cross the personal boundaries of a teenager, who will most likely perceive the care of mom and dad as “extra” care.
• A child's life should be rich, and not limited only by the area of ​​the room with the computer. It is advisable that he have hobbies and attend clubs and sections.
• Parents should not set a bad example. Seeing that mom and dad spend a lot of time online, the child will think that this is the norm.
• Trusting relationships in the family will help establish communication with the teenager. Then the child will not have to “hide” from problems on the Internet. [5]