We waste time buying things we don't want or need, we flinch at the first sign of difficulty and inconvenience, until one day we suddenly wake up with the thought that all this time we have been living someone else's life.
We all perceive the world as if it revolves around us.
We think and act based on how our senses perceive information and how that information is intertwined with our personal memories.
The subjective perception generated by this interaction creates the illusion of importance.
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We forget that such perception exists only in our minds, and that everyone around us is under the influence of a similar psychological delusion.
In fact, each of us is only one of billions, and for human history our lives are insignificant.
Even people like Newton and Einstein, whom we revere for their contributions to humanity, are only slightly more significant than others.
Our Universe contains one septillion stars (one followed by 24 zeros), and most of these stars are accompanied by numerous clusters of dust that we call planets.
If any of us ceased to exist tomorrow, little would change in the world, except for the subjective emotional state of our loved ones .
The Earth will still rotate around its orbit, and the laws of physics will remain unchanged. We are nothing more than small ripples in an endless sea of entropy.
Many of us don't like to hear this because it contradicts what our minds say.
We are raised to think that we are special and we like to believe it.
But I’m not saying all this to show my cynicism or to somehow suppress you. In fact, it's the other way around.
I say this because understanding the difference between our subjective perception and objective reality is the key to living a meaningful and meaningful life.
Recognizing our insignificance frees us from the grip of the self-centered voice in our heads that is to blame for most of the difficulties in our lives.
This is the voice that makes us compare ourselves to unimportant people, that convinces us that we are entitled to a comfortable and easy life, and that instills in us false notions of success.
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And what is the result?
We waste time buying things we don’t want or need, we flinch at the first sign of difficulty and inconvenience, until one day we suddenly wake up with the thought that all this time we have been living someone else’s life.
The surest way to live an empty life is to be guided by the opinion of your privileged position.
Taste of life
Tastes could not be discussed. And it’s true: every person has their own ways to make life fulfilling and meaningful. But what does it mean to taste life? Feel alive? Achieve your goals? Enjoy?
“Man is created for happiness as a bird is for flight” - at one time this phrase by V.G. Korolenko shocked me with her deep simplicity and truth. Why then are there so few happy people around? There are many successful people, but there are no happy ones. Perhaps the whole point is that it is important for a person in his quest for happiness to find the necessary guidelines.
But as soon as a child is born, they tell him from all sides (sometimes very persistently) where he should go. From the height of their life experience, understanding of achievements and mistakes, caring people wholeheartedly give instructions on where to look for happiness.
Sometimes these clues fall on the fertile ground of the child’s abilities and personal characteristics. Then he has reliable guidelines and support in life, which is then transformed into self-confidence, which helps him find his way in life.
Sometimes the tips of loved ones, their ways of perceiving the world, diverge from the individual characteristics of the child and his inclinations. Then a conflict arises in which the child finds himself prematurely in a situation of choice. However, due to his age, he cannot make any choice, so his psyche creates one or another way of existing in this conflict, adapting to the current situation. In the future, both the conflict itself and the ways of adapting to it become part of a person’s character. We all have conflicts that remained unresolved, and to which we adapted with the help of certain psychological defenses. The actualization of such a conflict in life can occur when faced with a similar situation (for example, someone around them behaved in the same way as close people in our childhood) or a series of events that trigger a similar emotional reaction (which is why during stress, when psychological protection of a person, internal conflicts may come to the surface). But, most importantly, when that part of his psyche where there is an internal conflict comes into contact with the surrounding reality, a person does not experience pleasure from life, even if he is successful. Having achieved the desired goal, he suddenly loses interest in it, the long-awaited trip causes anxiety instead of joy, and love and friendship are overshadowed by jealousy and disappointed expectations.
Some people cannot enjoy life at all. Not a single activity gives them real satisfaction, only temporary peace and relaxation. They often rush around in search of their place, changing interests, jobs, partners... Sometimes, in search of bright emotions, they risk themselves, trying to revive their feelings, forget about their safety, resort to alcohol and drugs, and passionately devote themselves to new projects and relationships. Eternal wanderers in life, they can try a lot of things - and still not find a place for themselves. Sometimes the place is still found, and such a person devotes himself with all passion to an activity or relationship, completely dissolving in them, gradually forgetting who he really is. He may even become successful, and many will envy him, but such a person will be betrayed by his weariness with life: he, like a donor of his success, invests all his strength without receiving full satisfaction.
Any activity that alienates a person from himself, his essence, cannot lead to happiness. This is why becoming successful is much easier than becoming happy. I often see people who are successful socially, but do not feel satisfied with life. And I had to meet people who lived a very simple life, from the point of view of the average person, but were happy.
Perhaps the desire for success is harmful? This is a very popular point of view today. However, the whole question is not about success as such, but about what is realized in it. If a person’s personality is manifested in relationships or activities, if progress towards a goal contributes to the development of his individuality, then such a path enriches his life and makes it meaningful. If in his life a person is looking for ways to strengthen psychological defenses, adapt without taking into account his individual characteristics, fights with himself, trying to live up to the chosen ideal, he loses contact with himself, gradually losing the ability to understand who he really is and what he wants from life.
Understanding oneself, one’s feelings and desires, as well as the ability to find their proper place in one’s life allows a person to be present in life as fully as possible and to feel alive. The taste of life is not always sweet. Life has all the fullness of tastes. But only by listening to yourself can you find yours. And for this you need to find yourself again.
How to get a taste for life. Delicious life or taste for life?
Do you think a tasty life and a taste for life are different concepts or not?
If you do an internet search on these topics, you will find an emphasis on food in both cases.
Even in a film called “Taste of Life,” the main character (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is a restaurant chef, which means there is no shortage of culinary masterpieces.
Interesting fact. To get used to the role, Katherine worked as a waitress in a restaurant for one day. Visitors were very surprised at the similarity between the waitress and the famous actress, to which she replied: “They always tell me that.”
And yet, a tasty life and a taste for life are not about food.
Although the meaning and value of the pleasure of food cannot be ignored if the need for food is the most pressing physiological need in a person’s life.
But not the only need. And this is the beauty of human life. And therefore, a tasty life is not only about the desire to eat tasty, and the taste of life is not only about culinary tastes.
Both are about the desire to live, about the love of life, and therefore about love in general and in particular.
Living deliciously means enjoying, adding pleasure to your life. Make every day desirable. Enjoyment of life, desire to live, love of life, pleasure from life itself, from the fact that the sun is shining and birds are singing, from fresh air, from fluttering dragonflies and butterflies, from summer blooms (it’s summer now, and what I see is about and I say), from clean water, from delicious food. Pleasure from nature, from the weather, whatever it may be, from human communication, from good music, from a good book, painting, from activities for the benefit of oneself and others, from knowledge of oneself and the world, peace in oneself and oneself in the world.
And when a person loves life, loves in all its manifestations, life will certainly reciprocate, its gifts are generous and numerous. And then happiness is simply inevitable. As the song says: “Happiness exists, it cannot but exist.” And a taste for life is an interest in life, the ability to be happy. So, are these different concepts - a tasty life and a taste for life, or not?
No taste for life. Tired of living. I have no taste for life and I feel inferior.
Question for a psychologist:
Good afternoon. My psychological state depresses me very much. I feel like a loser. A person who has not self-realized at all in this life. I am 30 years old, I am not married, I have no children, and I am temporarily unemployed. I am a very active person, I don’t sit still, but I feel like a frog that got into milk and is trying to get out of this state. But at the end of all the efforts, the milk does not turn into butter, no matter how hard I try. I am an ordinary girl, outwardly attractive, sociable, I have many acquaintances and friends, I always help everyone and I like it, but I don’t understand why things are always bad for people like me. I’m tired every time, after failures, I collect myself again and move forward, I don’t see the point anymore, I’m very tired. I don’t see any results and it really depresses me. I love my family very much and don’t want to cause them problems, I try not to show my condition, I smile and don’t complain. But if it weren’t for them and the fear of death, I wouldn’t live anymore, I don’t want to talk about suicide, because I have no thoughts about it, well, I simply have no taste for life and I feel inferior.
On a personal level, I’m completely blank, although I’m actively trying to start a relationship, sometimes I’ve asked her out on a date or simply taken the initiative. Maybe I'm too serious and responsible person and it's hard to be around me. I always try to find answers within myself why everything happens this way in my life. Lots of questions and few answers. I feel very lonely, I’m tired of being alone, I really want to love someone very, very much and give all the tenderness and warmth that has accumulated in me. I just want to love and I see this as the whole meaning of my life, then why is it all, why is life needed? Why does the sun shine and why do I live?
I don’t know how you can help me, but thank you very much in advance.
Psychologist Alexander Evgenievich Zhuravlev answers the question.
Hello, Eva.
What to say? - Hold on!))))
In general, you didn’t really say anything specific:
— What do you expect from life?
— What do you understand by the word “result”?
— What specifically are you unable to do?
Nothing is known. except that your life in its present has ceased to satisfy you.
Let's try it in order.
Think about how you would REALLY like to live? Only honestly!
Think about it. What do you have NOW in order to realize your ideas? how should you live?
Make a list of what you are missing.
Here, for some reason, I’m almost sure that money will be somewhere at the very beginning of the list. Money and confidence in the future will be at the core of this. what many would call a “normal life.” Moreover, these categories can be designated not directly, but indirectly, in a veiled manner. For example, “oh, if only I had a rich, smart man with me. a loyal and handsome man. who would love me, then I would be happy! Or something similar).
How exactly do you set goals and define tasks?
I'm sure you know the ABCs of goal setting?
— The goal must be specific.
— ……………………… achievable.
- ………………………determinable, “calculated”. You must know how to determine that the goal has been achieved.
Do you see? We are not talking about something very abstract here. We're talking about specifics here.
Try this. Suddenly, you will understand that the question is in the methodology and that’s it!!!!
Personal life is more difficult. But I can give advice based on experience and long-term observations:
FOR SOMEHOW, MEN DON'T REALLY LIKE ACTIVE LADIES.
Well, they don’t like it and that’s it!
“Activity” is such a strange and such a broad concept, but from the point of view of the relationship between a man and a woman, everything is clear: activity is the competence of men! Dot! No discussion!
You still need to think about how to transform your activity into something more appropriate in the relationship. For example, in resourcefulness, creativity. flexibility, after all!
All your activity (and I think it’s more anxiety, fussiness) is due to lack of confidence in yourself, your position, your self-esteem, etc.
Calmer and more relaxed! Let everything take its course for now! And then we’ll see, because no one set any deadlines for anyone, set any tasks or set boundaries! Everything can come at 40 or 50 years old! Especially now, when the dynamics of our lives have changed a lot!
The main thing here is THAT YOU BE OKAY!
And here it is - task number one! Control yourself and take care of yourself! Don't let yourself go!
Everything can change at any moment and you need to be prepared for it!
You yourself are the main task.
Work on yourself.
What good deeds will help?
These things can be very small:
- Call your aunt or mom (or any other relative) and tell her a funny story from your life - and make her laugh. Believe me, they don't have much to laugh about right now.
- Feed a homeless cat or pigeons - in general, this topic of feeding animals greatly fills absolutely EVERYONE with warmth! Even the most “severe and callous” men can be touched and carried away))). What can we say about us women)).
- To praise someone for something unexpected - either his child (and they often get some comments and complaints from us, right?)), or a colleague, or a loved one - he will definitely be surprised, but You will have a joyful smile on your face from the fact that you were able to so unexpectedly bring him out of his usual state of balance)).
- Give someone a ride to work/school, etc. How often do we eat in our cars and think that we feel so good, but like those people at the bus stop - in the wind, in the cold... So why not do a good deed?)) If you are afraid, for safety it is better to choose a girl with there shouldn't be any problems for her))
- Or just call your loved ones and tell them that you love them . Or do something nice. Something they will be very happy about. Suddenly. Without a reason. Just like that (yes, like in that cartoon about a bouquet)).
Or more seriously:
- You can help someone at the dacha - just like that, without the hope of tea with jam after)). Come and help. Moreover, working with the earth always returns us to our roots, grounds us and reveals true values. So everyone is good)).
- Or you can clean/wash it in your entrance . Yes, I know that there is not enough time for an apartment here - what entrance? But believe me, everything is real, if there is a desire. You can always find 1 hour a week. Instead of another scroll on Instagram, for example)))
- Or you can even declutter your home - and give what you no longer need to those who may still need it (including furniture, clothes, books, etc.). my guide “Cleaning up your space” will help you , with it you will easily set priorities and free your life and your home from unnecessary things.
Or you can go really big:
- Help those in need - disabled people, orphans, elderly people... And not just financially (although this is also a very good thing), but to go there, to them - and give your time and warmth. This is what they miss the most...
Stay with them, help them do something, communicate... And not just fill your heart with goodness, but also see the good that ALREADY exists in your life. What they don’t have: parents, hands, help and warmth...This will help you understand how wonderful your life is! And that everything that saddens you is just “it seems”...
- Or…
Or you can find your own version))).
Let's make a huge, huge list of good deeds together! What do you think of the idea?)) Write your options in the comments - and our kindness will be enough for everyone))).
I would really like to hear in the comments if you agree that this method works? Have you tried it? Did you feel a response in your soul?)) And of course, I’m really looking forward to your options for good deeds: let’s make a huge, huge list together!
And we will do them)). Every day. Everyone!))) And find your own taste for life!
This article and all information contained herein does not constitute medical advice and does not provide treatment and/or diagnosis. Please consult your physician for any questions related to your health.
Joy and light to you, Sophie
Simply and easily!
This is generally my motto in life)). I am for the fact that often the simplest recipes and tips really change our lives dramatically.
And I am extremely pleased that the girls who subscribed and participated in my programs have also already experienced the power of these “easy and simple”)). And they didn’t just try it – they continue to use it constantly! Even the smallest secrets can become good habits that ultimately change our entire lives - like these 12 useful habits, for example.
Well, let's return to the topic of conversation - what allows us to feel the taste of life again? And to see joy in her again, when it seems that everything is already completely sad and dreary. When sadness is completely sad...
Please note that I wrote the word “seems” in the previous paragraph - because this is the key word. This is exactly what we think! In fact, everything is not like that!
And so that this “seems” to stop working, you need to include one simple action in your life. One tiny rule)).
How to bring back the taste of life - just one rule
Well, are you ready to comprehend the truth?))
Just kidding, of course, I don’t claim to be a guru)). But this thing really works!
So…
What kind of rule is this?))
One good deed a day!
This is such a simple action - just do something good and kind every day.
And again, don’t be confused by the simplicity of this advice. It works - if you do it!))
You will even be surprised at HOW MUCH it works!
And for sure, even that this has ALREADY happened in your life, you already know how it is)).
For example, remember a moment when you accidentally did something nice to someone.
Do you remember?))
Maybe they sincerely praised a colleague’s dress, and she simply blossomed from it and danced and joked all day. Agree - you also felt very pleased then, right? The heart was filled with some kind of light, right?))
Or maybe you helped your grandmother drag her bags to the entrance, and she was sooooo grateful... And it was even a little uncomfortable from her enormous gratitude, but that same bright joy ached in her heart...
Because when we do (sincerely do) some good deed, it automatically, immediately, fills our soul with goodness and warmth!
And moreover, these good deeds do not have to be on a universal scale - there is no need at all to start freeing the beaches of our planet from plastic (although this, of course, is a very bright and necessary cause).
What can be done?
