How to understand that feelings have gone away?
I don’t like my husband - this remark often comes from women who have been married for more than one year. Why the cooling of feelings occurs is interesting to know for everyone who has experienced this themselves. Most representatives of the fair half of humanity falsely believe that marriage is the key to happiness and boundless love. However, this is not always the case. Relationships before marriage are often a candy-bouquet period, so young people think that the novelty and romance will continue after the wedding. Everyday life brings its own adjustments.
The whole problem lies in the different attitudes of both sexes towards marriage. Women always want to be loved and receive attention. However, all this is often present during courtship, which is inherent in nature itself. First, the male must conquer, and then deal with protecting the hearth and obtaining food. It is for this reason that many men change dramatically after marriage.
How do you understand that you no longer love your husband? The first thing you can directly notice is a decrease in sexual attraction to your spouse. If feelings have cooled down, then the woman will constantly shirk sexual contact. At the same time, you can notice the presence of indifference to your own appearance. A loving woman always tries to look beautiful for her husband. But when feelings cool down, the former passion disappears.
How to tell a man that his wife has fallen out of love will be interesting to anyone who has encountered such a problem. You just need to pay attention to the behavior. If you feel cold, indifference, lack of participation, then your feelings have cooled down. It is very easy to identify cooling in a relationship. The woman begins to move away, she begins to have secrets, she prefers to spend time with her friends or often goes to her mother.
If a wife stops loving her husband, then it will not be possible to keep it a secret. Everything is hidden in the psychology of the sexes. For a man, a woman is only a part of his life, but for the fair sex, everything is much more global. A beloved spouse can replace parents, friends and almost everyone when there are deep feelings. After all, a woman feels everything differently.
Are children a reason not to get a divorce?
Usually, if there is one child, but the marriage is bursting at the seams, then it is easier for a woman to decide on a divorce. When you have two or three children and you don’t love your husband, making a life-changing decision becomes much more difficult. It is simply impossible not to take into account the presence of your common offspring, and it is very difficult to feed them on one salary. Don’t rush to write an application, but don’t forget about two important facts:
- Children are not a reason to tolerate your husband’s antics. If you just have minor disagreements, then holding off on divorce and reflecting on your relationship is quite feasible. When your husband is a real tyrant, humiliates you morally and physically, mistreats you in terms of finances, or acts like a pig in some other way, then it is wrong to tolerate him because you have children. As you can see, children do not stop his ugly impulses, and perhaps even aggravate negative behavior. Therefore, there is nothing to catch in such relationships; you need to save yourself and your family. An unhappy mother will not be able to fully care and love her children, and for them, the relationship with their mother is the most important thing in this world.
- Children should be raised in a favorable environment. Quarrels and conflicts between parents are deposited in the subconscious, even if as adults we do not remember these facts. As a result, witnesses of parental squabbles develop complexes, fears and incorrect scenarios for family life. Think for yourself what kind of example you will set for the kids by hating your husband and taking it out on him. I don’t even want to think how much children, especially older ones, worry when they see your suffering and conflicts. Moreover, if your spouse’s habits also affect your offspring. In the latter case, if you don’t love your husband, it doesn’t matter if you have 2 or more children, you need to take care of their mental health and your own as well.
When you make a decision, put yourself in your children's shoes. How do they feel, in what light do they see the family? Ask them carefully how they feel about dad. If you no longer love your husband, but you have children, not only be guided by your own vision of the situation, but also take into account the opinion of your own offspring.
What to do if you stop loving your husband?
Signs of cooling are very difficult to hide. So what should you do if you stop loving your husband? First you need to make sure that there really are no feelings. After all, sometimes an unpleasant quarrel or a fleeting impulse can lead to false conclusions. First of all, it is recommended to give yourself some time to understand whether you still have feelings for your partner. There is no need to rush to end the marriage.
If the wife does not love her husband and this is confirmed, then the only adequate way to resolve the issue is temporary separation. This is the only way, after being apart for a while, you can understand whether you still have feelings for your partner.
“I don’t love my husband” - this phrase is not uncommon for pregnant women. During pregnancy, feelings for husbands often cool. In this case, you should not make hasty conclusions, because this is only a temporary phenomenon. Enormous hormonal changes in the body and severe toxicosis can provoke depression. During this period, there may be a slight cooling of feelings. It goes away either during pregnancy or immediately after childbirth. To help yourself, you can sign up for a consultation with a psychotherapist. A man should be more tolerant during this period.
What can I do to get my love back? First, you should analyze all the reasons that could provoke a cooling of feelings. This could be inattention on the part of the spouse, rude behavior, or lack of help. It is sometimes difficult to encourage a married man to talk, but if a person is not indifferent to the future of the marriage, then he will take an active part.
If a woman has cooled down, then you can try to change the situation. A joint vacation will help bring spouses together, not at home, but somewhere outside of it. At the same time, it is advisable to go somewhere without children, otherwise you won’t be able to fully relax.
Recommendations
I bring to your attention advice from psychologists that allows you to awaken old feelings.
- If the whole problem is in the external changes of the spouse, then the woman can try to make her partner more attractive. If your husband has extra pounds, it is unacceptable to reproach him for this. This way you will only run into new conflicts. The wife should be wise, for example, you can suggest joining a gym or visiting the pool with the whole family. The man will not be so offended, because you are also going to study. In addition, visiting the pool or gym together will further strengthen family relationships and will also have a beneficial effect on your health. If a man has lost his taste for clothes and started dressing ugly, then his wife can take care of purchasing the right things and give them as a gift.
- Sometimes a man may appear in a woman’s life who will awaken stronger feelings in her than her husband. Often this passion can push to betrayal. At such a moment, it seems to a woman that she loves a new boyfriend and feels nothing for her legal husband. In fact, the monotony of the relationship with your spouse and boring life may be to blame. And the appearance of a gentleman allows you to feel your need, to introduce variety, passion, which was in a marital relationship only at the beginning of life together. But you need to think about whether what you feel for your lover can really be called love or is it just passion and everything will fade away over time. Try to analyze your husband without thinking about a new gentleman, remember how you treated him when your family was just being created. Is it worth ruining everything now or is it necessary to make changes in your life with your husband and awaken old feelings?
- If your couple lacks proper communication that would arouse interest in both spouses, perhaps you do not talk about your worries, then you need to try to find ways of common ground, to identify topics that would be interesting to both of you. After all, fruitful communication has a significant impact on feelings in the family.
- If you realize that your feelings have begun to fade away due to the fact that you have too much free time or are simply nagging your spouse, then it is necessary for some kind of hobby to appear in life that could absorb you. Then you will understand that you were too picky, all out of boredom.
- Female psychology is such that sooner or later, a woman begins to compare her partner with other representatives of this species. It begins to seem to her that other men are much more beautiful and successful, they are more attractive. If you are faced with such a problem, you need to realize the fact that the idea that you have about other people is most likely false. You only see the positive traits of these people. Your task is to stop comparing your spouse with other men, and try to identify his positive qualities, to realize that there is a worthy person next to you.
- It happens that a woman’s feelings fade away due to lack of proper attention from her husband. If you notice that your partner has begun to treat you indifferently, then you need to make adjustments to your life. Try to do everything to awaken old feelings in your spouse. While you are trying to impress him, making changes to your character, appearance, making a lot of effort to achieve his favor, you realize that he is very dear to you, your feelings have become stronger than before.
- If your relationship has been consumed by everyday life, you need to go on some kind of trip with your husband, be alone with him, remember the past romance, the feelings that you experienced many years ago.
- You can also engage in self-hypnosis, every day convincing yourself that your feelings for your spouse are strong, it’s just that your mind is clouded. Praise him, admire him in your thoughts.
- If your feelings for a man have disappeared because he has stopped satisfying you intimately, then you need to diversify your close relationships yourself. Try to change something, intrigue your husband, start experimenting.
Now you know how to love your husband again. Try to remember the feelings you once experienced, think about the happy moments you experienced together. But we should not forget about situations when there is no need to renew old feelings, for example, if your husband has repeatedly betrayed or beaten you, he does not deserve your love.
Additional Tips
I stopped loving my husband, what to do, the advice of a psychologist will come to the rescue. To understand the seriousness of a wrong decision, you need to understand the consequences of divorce. A woman who has fallen out of love can take a lover, but this will only worsen the general situation. The husband also plays a huge role in this difficult situation. If he does not want to lose his wife, he must reconsider his behavior and attitude.
Some married women think: “I don’t think I love my husband.” Or they make a false conclusion: “He doesn’t pay attention to me. He neglects me." Many people had a similar situation. An important recommendation that can be obtained from a psychologist must be put into practice on a weekly basis. You need to talk through everything that has accumulated inside. There is no need to kill your feelings, it is enough to simply establish a relationship with your husband, which consists of full communication.
I don’t know if I love my husband, what should I do? Another affordable way could be a romantic evening together away from the hustle and bustle of home. If the husband begins to behave differently than his wife is used to, then everything can change quickly. You need to introduce something new into your relationship: spend leisure time together, attend movies, exhibitions, etc.
What should I do if I told my husband that I don’t love him? When the conclusions are justified and the decision is finally made, then all that remains is to break off the relationship.
What has been said cannot be taken back, but it can still be corrected if you approach the issue wisely. It is sometimes very difficult to understand the feminine essence, but two loving people can overcome temporary difficulties with a joint approach to solving the problem. When the flame of hope is smoldering, you need to make every effort to save the relationship. If you rush, you may regret what you did. The best way out would be to visit a psychologist together.
