Is your child having a tantrum? We save him and his mother

Every girl, girl, woman has bitchiness. It’s not for nothing that all men say that “All women are bitches.” And, sad as it may be, they are absolutely right!

Bitch is by no means a dirty word, it is a special, luxurious girl who knows how to control men and subjugate them to herself, that is, a girl of the highest standard! Any bitch begins with great self-love, it cannot be otherwise. She is insanely afraid of losing her freedom, and even after getting married, she will always try to show everyone around her her independence, which often hits men hard on their pride and self-esteem.

Why did my wife used to be nice, but now she’s a bitch?

Like any other woman, I am most often called a “bitch.”
But the word "bitch" is thrown at women far more often than it should be, and for reasons that aren't really as legitimate as the ones stated above. In many cases, women are told that they are actually a bitch, they act the way a human would act. They are told they are a bitch when they reject someone, even if it is polite. The word "bitch" is used to mean many, many things, and many of them are things you don't have to regret. You can put up with this, fight it, or, in general, not pay any attention to it, if the bitch is not your wife, with whom you are constantly close, love her and do not plan to part with her.

Men, no matter how sad and neglected the current situation is, there is no need to despair and give up! After all, in order to tame your bitch, you just need to understand a little about female psychology and find a basic approach to your wife!

The wife is a bitch. How does she attract men?

Feminist activist Gloria Steinem recalled this when she was asked how to respond when a person calls you a bitch.
Marlo Thomas always said that for a man to be called aggressive, he had to take over your case, but for a woman to be called aggressive, she only had to hold you. This is just a terrible double standard. If you name them, it will change people's heads. So, the next time someone calls you a bitch, don't be upset - thank them for their "insult." Why? That you act like a boss. Let me explain: When a person acts like a boss, no one takes notice. If the person is your boss and he is persistent and not afraid to tell you what to do, everyone just thinks he is doing his job. Even if she is on a higher level, someone is bound to open their eyes and mutter something: “Jise, why does she have to act like such a bitch?” Please.

Now I’ll tell you 5 main secret approaches on how to do this:

  1. If your wife constantly behaves aggressively, like a powder keg can explode at any moment, and is often an active participant in any dispute, remember, do not argue with her under any circumstances, since any phrase you express in opposition to her will become another reason to give you a scandal. But this is exactly what she is waiting for! You just need to distract her from the argument.
  2. If your wife constantly chats, finds fault with various little things, and is insanely scrupulous in everyday life, then this style can no longer be corrected or changed. You just have to adapt to this by doing whatever she says, but with a humorous approach.
  3. If your wife believes that the whole world rests on her, there are only lazy parasites around her, constantly showing you how to do this or that job - you should show more feelings, tenderness, and sentimentality towards her. And only when she feels like a weak, little girl next to you, will she allow you to call her a bunny, a baby doll, and try to behave like that.
  4. If your wife is very beautiful in appearance, pleasant to talk to, generally capable of conquering any man, which she tries to prove to you at every opportunity, constantly makes you jealous of her, very emotional, sometimes even selfish, then you should under no circumstances be led by her. about her. You should become a kind of mystery to her, try to constantly surprise her so as not to lose your wife’s interest.
  5. If your wife is a very complex person, offended by the whole world, and always dreams of taking revenge on all of humanity for everything that happens to her, this is a complete failure. And in this case, you have only 2 options: either endure this all your life and be a kind of whipping boy for your beloved, or leave her alone with her far-fetched problems.

The woman is a bitch. She creates an ugly scandal over a minor issue and random witnesses think: someone is married to her... What if that someone is you? What to do if your wife is a bitch?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being assertive at work and whenever you take on responsibilities in life. And if anyone wants to call you a bitch for this, just thank them. Because honestly, in this context it's a compliment.

What do you say about your mind and they don't know how to deal with it. Women are called a bitch when they say what they really think or express an opinion that is different from what the person calling them a bitch thinks. When people talk about their intelligence, it is considered normal - in fact, when people don't talk about their intelligence, they are often asked, "Why do you feel like such a little bitch, brother?" But when does a girl do this?

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What should I do if my wife is a fool?

Difficulties in relationships

What should I do if my wife is a fool?

“What if my wife is a fool?” - this question is the most common and rhetorical among men who encounter the “brilliant” and unpredictable female logic. Indeed, any misunderstanding, disagreement, stupid decision or strange behavior of the wife can be characterized as “she’s a fool.” And it will be true.

Most men are also amazed that when they married their wives, they were not like this. But over time and age, they changed, and their antics and behavior began to irritate and infuriate. “How did such a smart and charming girl turn into such a fool?” - this is what any man begins to think after several years of marriage.

What turns a girl into a fool

Laziness and boredom. While a girl lives with her parents or communicates with friends at the institute, she shows some kind of social activity, she has a duty to her parents. She tries to appear correct and follows rules and regulations that, in the end, she doesn’t really need. But after you marry her and she leaves parental care, her rules begin.

Her communication comes down to conversations with the same “mundane” women, she practically doesn’t want to understand anything, and she feels, on the one hand, good, but, on the other hand, bored. And here she tries to make up for the lack of “spiritualized” communication with her husband. She doesn’t care that he came home from work, that he has other things to do. She begins to tell him some nonsense, which in her opinion is of extreme importance.

Circle of friends. If your wife has been communicating only with naive and stupid women for 10 years, then it is difficult to expect different behavior from her. Stupidity has a habit of spreading, and women readily accept it. However, this also has its advantages. It is much easier to convince your wife of the need for something when she believes in any fables and mysterious stories. This is a reason, but a completely positive one.

She's too smart. A woman should be beautiful, loving, affectionate and cunning. And when we talk about cunning, we do not mean intelligence. Too high an intelligence makes a girl behave defiantly, rudely, straightforwardly and completely stupidly towards a man. If a guy wants to spend his time in the company of smart guys, he will meet his friends. He needs understanding and affection from a woman. And not accusations that he does not understand anything, and in general he is a naive fool. Perhaps such women achieve something, but it is impossible to live with them.

She's just stupid. Some girls don't become fools, they are born fools. No matter what you do, no matter what you want to get from her, she will still act stubborn, stupid and confused. There is a lot more that can be said about such women, but let’s put it this way: “What kind of fool can we take?”

The biggest problem of girls is stupid

A woman can be a fool to her husband at home - this is a common situation that any man faces. It is much worse when a fool shows her disagreement and argues with her husband in public. This damages men’s reputation, hurts men’s pride, and most importantly, self-esteem. No man almost ever forgives his wife for such behavior.

Therefore, if your wife behaves like this, then this is a reason to leave her at home and have fun with friends. No matter how stupid a woman is, she is obliged to support her husband’s opinion in public.

What to do with a fool

Talk to your wife about the current situation when you are both calm and in a good mood. Start with something like this correct phrase: “I would like to discuss with you an issue that upsets me.” There is no need to say phrases like: “Wife, why are you such a fool?” Explain that you are a little tired of her antics, and you want a little peace and understanding. Tell her that you will recognize and reward her if she changes her behavior.

If your wife accepts your words, then everything is fine. If not, then most likely you will have to spend more time with friends, taking a break from this behavior of your wife. Let her understand that you will not tolerate her behavior.

This can cause big problems in a marriage, but if you are willing to put in the effort and time, it will give results and make your life more predictable. The main thing is to understand that female behavior has the ability to be influenced. So it is possible that among her friends or relatives there are those who instill such behavior in her. Become a respected man and she will do whatever you want.

And to be honest, it is difficult to explain why women begin to behave this way, why they begin to limit a man and make him feel stupid. One good thing is that even though women are fools, men still love them.

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The wife is a bitch - a statement of fact

One meaning of the word bitch in the understanding of contemporaries is a beautiful woman who knows how to present herself from the best side and enjoys the favor of men. Another version of a bitch is a wife who constantly nags and demands something from a man. Moreover, it also happens that both of these options are combined in one person. It is the second version of the bitch that we will talk about in this article. First, let's try to classify bitch wives.

Which literally makes no sense. That you are defending yourself and they know you are right, so it makes them feel uncomfortable. I have great parents, so I always had to stand on my own two feet. If you have a gallon to talk to someone rudely or tell someone quietly when they act and you are a woman, that person will most likely annoy you with an insult.

Because they probably know you're right and they don't know what else to do with themselves. That you rejected them and now they feel sad. This is, unfortunately, pretty standard online dating. A guy comes at you with a disgusting “compliment”, you tell him and he says a bunch of angry words about what a bitch you are. Or maybe a guy reaches out, seems nice, you politely decline your advances, and then he turns around and calls you a bitch. Because there are a lot of people out there with very fragile little egos who can't handle the fact that not everyone dies to deal with them.

  1. Hysterical wife is a bitch
    . She does not know how to come to an agreement, and tries to achieve her goals with shouts and reproaches, constantly “talking” in a raised voice, every now and then breaking into a scream. Finding a reason for hysteria is a matter of seconds for her; she always has a whole arsenal of reproaches against her husband in stock. One gets the impression that all he does all the time is ruin her life. And as soon as he starts to object, all his arguments drown under a pile of her “facts” and “evidence” of his guilt, interspersed with crying and stories about how unhappy she is. As a result, no matter what the husband does, no matter how much money he earns, the result will be the same - more and more claims and reproaches.

What's the opposite?

This also happens because they feel pain and have to hit themselves to feel better. That you don't act the way they thought you would act and they don't know what to do. Whether calling a woman a bitch, being defensive, being assertive, taking charge, or simply throwing a truth bomb, some people don't know how to deal with it. These are people who can't handle the idea of ​​a woman being a person, a person who doesn't fit into her nicely wrapped box of what a woman is supposed to "be."

Strategy.

You must determine the relationship between the “performance” and the disease.

In the case of 80-100% theatrical acting, it's just a way to get things done. Perhaps even effective. How to behave? Like with a capricious child, prove that this method no longer works. Moreover, by acting this way, she only moves away from her goals. Well, at least with you.

They're confused and, frankly, you probably feel sorry for them. That they are jealous of the strong self-esteem they have. Women are constantly told that they are confident. It is the core most important advice in every advice article ever written. But then, when a woman acts confident and feels good about herself, most people get completely excited. What a bitch! When a woman is not afraid to act strong, fueled by her amazing sense of self, many people feel jealous and intimidated and resort to calling her a bitch.

If she really doesn't control herself—what doctors call a “hysterical personality disorder,” well, she'll have to find a doctor.

How to define "performance"? Watch. Try doing something unexpected - maybe breaking a plate in response to her screaming and watch closely. If her face, even for a moment, reflects just surprise, without a convulsive grimace, then this is theater. Bad upbringing, bad character, but not a disease. Be careful - think over your actions in advance, do not harm anyone, remove children and animals from this scene, keep a cool head, do not succumb to provocations.

They think you're acting like a feminist. These people think of feminists as crazy, hate-hungry bras who want women to rule the world while humans serve our feet. I feel bad that these people can't differentiate between the basic definition of feminism and the stereotype surrounding feminism.

They sense that you are aggressive and pushy. Men are encouraged to be aggressive, demanding and assertive. Women are told to be polite and ask for what we want with a nice smile on our faces and a sweet attitude about it. You can be demanding and aggressive without being rude - these are completely different things. And if someone doesn't see that difference, that says a lot more about them than you do.

Tactics. A)

Show the “performance” from the outside. Demonstrate how ugly the bitch is at such moments. It would be great to record it on a video camera; there are inexpensive surveillance cameras available for sale. But here many technical issues arise: for example, how to bring it under the camera lens. Therefore, the simplest thing is to record this hysteria on a voice recorder. Keep a small voice recorder in your pocket, press the button, behave yourself with dignity and don’t forget to turn it off. Then, when he calms down, let your bitch wife listen to the recordings. Perhaps a new explosion of emotions awaits you - be prepared (for example, have a second voice recorder in your pocket :)) As a rule, the game is worth the candle and the sobering effect of a voice recorder can be simply amazing. Don't rush to wash. If you do have to separate, the recordings may be useful to you in court when determining communication with children, to form a support group, and as a counterweight to blackmail. And don’t rush to post it on the Internet - the bitch will have nothing more to lose and the power of the recordings will be lost for you. And she will want to take revenge on you - and the best war, as you know, is not started.

How to Improve Relationships: The Ultimate Guide

No matter what you say they want you to say and they don't know how else to respond.
Again, being called a bitch very often comes down to you saying or doing something that caught the other person in fear. This is one of the reasons why so many girls are hesitant to tell their friends the truth about certain situations. Think about it: when your friend meets a guy who's clearly not into her, and she asks if you think she likes him, what are you going to say? What you have to say is true, helpful advice, but what you often end up saying is some lame excuse for him because you don't want her to call you a bitch. b) Don't be a victim, don't act like a victim, don't feel like a victim.

c) “mirror” the bitchy behavior - but it only works once. The second one won’t work and you don’t want to turn into a bitch yourself, do you?

2. Bitter bitch wife

. She is convinced that in order to manage her husband, she must constantly keep him on his toes with her criticism. At the same time, such a bitch wife cannot notice the line in time and stop, going beyond all limits of what is permitted. As a result, this criticism takes on an inherently monstrous form, turning into humiliation, ridicule and insults of the husband as an individual. No matter how much success her husband achieves, she will always show him “in his place” - she will show him how ridiculous and insignificant all his achievements are (for example, compared to the successes of other men), and he himself is an eternal loser. What could happen as a result? As in the famous proverb: “If you call someone a pig for a long time, over time he will grunt.” The man begins to believe that he really is a loser and gives up. Then the embittered bitch either leaves her husband or completely humiliates him in every way known to her, turning his life into a real hell.

There are many other examples, but basically, sometimes being honest can mean being called a bitch. That they don't understand your shyness. But try to get to know someone before you start spewing insults. Maybe this girl who was very shy with a soccer bitch face wasn't silent, judging by you, she was just trying hard to start a conversation. That they feel insecure and have to break you up to feel better about themselves.

One of the biggest reasons people insult others is because they are trying to make themselves feel better about something they are insecure about. A weak man will see a strong woman and call her a bitch because he feels insecure around her. A weak, insecure woman will see a confident, strong woman and tear her down, calling her a bitch because they feel inferior. They don't think they can beat you any other way, so they resort to petty words to try to make you feel as low as they do.

Which of these options is “better”? Yes, none. Both can equally wear down a spouse to the point of complete psychological exhaustion. What to do if your wife is a bitch?

Is your child having a tantrum? We save him and his mother

As a rule, it is not the parents' fault that their children have tantrums. This does not mean that they raised them poorly. Rather, it is a side effect of transitional stages of development. And yet, why do children make scandals? How to help yourself and your child in a situation that seems uncontrollable?

Yana Veter, a doctor, clinical psychologist, and author of the “Self-Psychology” project, shares her opinion about the causes and consequences of children’s tantrums.

The child is hysterical, the parents suffer

Perhaps the most important thing that parents need to know is that children's tantrums are normal. When desires and possibilities in a particular situation do not coincide, hysteria occurs. It is not parents' fault that their children have tantrums. This does not mean that they raised them poorly. Hysterics are a natural stage of mental development.

This could be the end of the article. But, firstly, there are still cases when children's tantrums are a symptom and you should consult a doctor. And secondly, helping a child cope with hysterics is as important as, for example, insuring him during his first voyage. You wouldn’t say in this situation: swim as best you can, but I went.

If children's tantrums are a normal occurrence, then why are they treated with hostility? We live in a society where negative emotions are considered inappropriate. Therefore, children's tantrums are perceived as something that must be eliminated.

Plus - the attitude of the parents themselves towards hysterics. Who really feels bad when a child is hysterical? To parents. This happens because in childhood we did not learn to live our emotions.

When such children grow up and become parents themselves, as a rule, they join one of the groups. The first is those who can yell at a child and spank him. That is, they pull the child out of hysteria, causing him to feel fear. Fear is an emotion that causes us to shift our attention away from anything. A trivial example: you and your husband are arguing, at that moment the child falls. That's it, your conflict ends, at least for a while.

By intimidating a child, you push him away, show him that in the state he is in now, he is not needed. And this is the biggest threat to the little person.

Children have two states: “my parent loves me, accepts me, which means I live,” and “my parent doesn’t accept me, doesn’t love me, which means there’s no point in living.” Being needed is a vital need for a child.

The second group of parents are those who, on the contrary, try to be ideal: “I must accept the child, not devalue him, not yell at him, not spank him, and at the same time be very calm.” But those behavior patterns that we saw in childhood are deposited deep in the subconscious and come out at critical moments.

If a parent has not learned to live his emotions as an adult, at the moment of a child’s hysteria he himself loses ground under his feet. The child reads this, and his hysteria only intensifies. It turns out to be a pathological circle in which many parents get stuck.

When tantrums are not the norm

There are a number of signs when a child’s tantrums are a reason to contact a neurologist:

  • hysterics are frequent, repeated more often than 5-7 times a day;
  • tantrums last more than 40 minutes to an hour;
  • at the moment of hysteria, the child begins to lose consciousness, breathes poorly, turns blue, and vomits;
  • The child often wakes up hysterically at night.

If any of the above is repeated over and over again, you should consult a doctor.

Until the age of one and a half, hysterics, as a rule, do not occur, because the child does not yet recognize himself as a person. But when he starts saying not “Masha wants porridge, but I want porridge,” it means that perhaps soon the parents will face hysterics.

The smaller the child, the more quickly and violently the hysteria develops. Accordingly, if a small child says “I want” and does not get what he asked for, a hysteria may occur within a couple of seconds. An older child, 3–5 years old, can follow his mother for some time and say: “I want, I want, I want,” and only after that burst into tears.

During periods of age-related crises, hysterics worsen. The most striking is the crisis of 3 years. For some, it may begin at 2–2.5 years. At this age, almost all parents encounter children's tantrums.

Depending on the child’s temperament, as well as the parents’ reaction, the child lays down his hysterical behavior patterns for the future.

After a crisis of 3 years, hysterics, as a rule, smooth out, returning during crises of 7, 9, 12 years and in adolescence. But these periods are already shorter, and hysterics at this age are not so pronounced.

How to smooth out an impending tantrum

It happens that the mother already sees in the morning that the child is not in a good mood and for some reason hysterics may arise. It can be prevented by helping the child express his emotions in advance. And this can be done with the help of simple games.

Evil and good cats

Mother and child turn into “angry cats”, run around, scratch the sofa, bite the pillow, tear up pieces of paper. And then these “seals” become kind and begin to purr and cuddle.

Throwing toys

Children often throw toys, and parents do not always approve of this. For such situations, you can buy special beating toys. By playing with them, it will be easier for the baby to throw out excess energy.

Such simple games will help, if not prevent hysteria, then definitely make the outburst of emotions less violent.

The hysteria has begun - 4 simple steps

If you couldn't prevent a tantrum, don't worry. First of all, assess whether the situation threatens the life and health of the child. If everything is physically fine with him, then the parent’s condition comes to the fore.

Stage 1. Assess your condition

First of all, tell yourself that it is not your fault that this phenomenon is happening, and try to calm down. Breathing will help with this, for example, the “square breathing” method: inhale - hold, exhale - hold.

You can try very active breathing: inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth - and you begin to breathe faster and faster, and then at the peak, when you can no longer take in air, you slow down and gradually relax.

Disconnecting also helps. The simplest thing is to take two steps away from the child. These simple manipulations will take about 20 seconds, but this will help quickly reduce the hysteria to nothing.

Stage 2. Joining

If you understand that the child's tantrum does not drive you crazy, you can join the child. Lower yourself so that your eyes are at eye level with the child. It is not at all necessary that he looks at you, but you must be on the same level as him.

When the hysteria grows, the child may not allow himself to be hugged and will begin to push you away. You do not insist and perform “silent accession”: you are simply nearby. You can try putting your hand on his shoulder, and if he allows it, pat him a little. You can say: “Okay, I’ll be there, I see that you’re angry, but I’ll be there, I won’t go anywhere.”

Stage 3. Accepting emotions

When the wave of hysteria begins to subside - the child resigns himself to the fact that he will not get what he wants, so-called tears of futility appear - you move on to contact connection, hug, stroke and express emotions: you are angry, but I will be there and I will support you.

It seems very simple. But, firstly, it is very unusual to speak in such words. Secondly, it is difficult to understand what exactly the child is feeling. This happens because we ourselves sometimes cannot understand what we feel.

There are few basic emotions: anger, fear, shame, guilt, disgust, sadness, joy. You can calmly name the one that you think the child is experiencing. If you are wrong, he will correct you.

An important point at this stage is not to devalue the child’s experiences: “Yes, this is some kind of nonsense,” “Did the toy break? We’ll buy another one,” “Yes, it’s nothing that you’re crying,” “It happens that everything gets lost.”

For a child, what happened is a real tragedy, no matter how absurd the situation may seem to an adult. The loss of a car can be no less bitter than a more serious loss for a mother.

There is another way of depreciation - this is to quickly start helping: “Let’s do this and everything will pass.”

The child should not be rushed, he should be allowed to experience this emotion. You will see for yourself that he calms down and begins to listen to you.

And then you can move on to the final stage.

Stage 4. Dialogue.

When the child pays attention to you, ask: listen, what can we do? Can I help you somehow? Is there any way you can help yourself?

We act depending on age: the younger the child, the more responsibility we take on ourselves, and we take a strong dominant position. If this is a teenager, then he will most likely refuse your help and go to “resolve the situation” himself.

Thus, the main thing in hysterics is that the child learns to recognize his emotions, live and solve problems.

If someone else's child is hysterical

I am often asked the question of how to behave when other parents around you cannot cope with their child in hysterics. In this situation, you can join and help, but not the child, but the mother or father. Ask: “I see that you feel bad, your child is crying now. I can help? Maybe we should carry the bags?”

If you swoop in and say, “How dare you spank a child,” chances are that child will get spanked four times more at home.

Is it possible to give in to a child?

When the trigger for hysteria is some kind of parental prohibition, then often, if the child is crying very much, the parent “gives up” - do it, take it, just leave him alone.

When we refuse children, we often refuse more than necessary: ​​it’s impossible, don’t go there, don’t touch it. Therefore, when a child asks for something, do not answer immediately, think for a couple of seconds.

Before you forbid something to your child, ask yourself: is it harmful to health or life-threatening? Does this affect my boundaries? If both answers are “no,” calmly allow it; if at least one of the answers is “yes,” you can change your position only in rare cases. And in such cases, you can say: “Listen, I thought, I see how much you need this, yes, I will allow it for you.”

But changing your mind should not be the basic response to your child’s requests. Otherwise, the parent ceases to be dominant, and we get situations where the child is lying on the floor in a store to get a toy.

"I just want to cry"

In conclusion, I want to share my story about hysterics. She helped me look at them through the prism of a child's perception.

Once, during my daughter’s severe hysteria, completely exhausted, I asked her: “Just tell me, how can I help you?” She looked up with eyes full of tears and said, “I just want to cry.” At that very moment, she said everything that I, as a mother, needed to hear and understand.

You shouldn’t blame yourself and your child, you shouldn’t set the task of saving him from surging emotions and rushing to help. Just being there is enough.

Website "Child BY"

What to do if your wife is a bitch?

The first advice you hear is to get a divorce. This is the easiest thing to do, but how many families could be saved if some effort were made! After all, when we met, was there love? Why did she suddenly turn from a princess bride into a bitch wife? There must be some reasons?

That they feel intimidated by you. What all of these above points boil down to is this: Sometimes you get called a bitch because someone feels intimidated by you. They don't know what to do with you. They rely on a fallback word like "bitch" because that's all they can really think about and think it sounds boring. It's not always as important as they think. To these people, take Gloria Steinem's advice and say, "Thank you."

Which ones do you disagree with? Why do you call people a bitch? Since lifelong marriage is no longer a thing, and since the vast majority of you men are either divorced or someday divorced, learning to deal with your ex-wife is an important and necessary skill for long-term happiness and a required one for the modern man.

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