I’m screwed, but I don’t want to go crazy: “KP” got through to the father who took six children hostage
The man, according to his wife, took the children hostage
Photo: SOCIAL NETWORKS
In Kolpino in St. Petersburg, a man took six children hostage. According to his wife, who called the police, he promises to kill everyone. Komsomolskaya Pravda got through to 38-year-old Denis B. The man picked up the phone at the moment when he was negotiating with his beloved.
- Come here! I won’t give up on this, I’ll count to three! One, two, two and a half, three! Why did you cheat on me with this Seryozha? Why did you sleep with him?! Why didn't you, the police, consider my rape complaint?! My wife was raped and you didn’t even look at it! - the man shouts into the phone. “You creatures will all come to an answer.”
One of the children shouts at the police window: “Get away! Mom, come here!". After that he shouts again: Or here! Well, you creature, are you coming here? That's it, you're screwed, don't come here anymore. If you listen to these people, it will get even worse; they will tell you bullshit.
The house is cordoned off.
Photo: Artem KILKIN
And then Denis switches to us.
- Yes?
- Tell me what happened?
“She cheated on me, I saw her geolocation on my phone, she went to a hotel and spent more than six hours there. She told me that she was with Seryozha. He is from a village in Kazan. I don’t know him, she met him in the store where she worked. I saw this creature on VKontakte, I was in Arkhangelsk at that moment. She went to barbecues with him. She contacted him because of a colleague. He is 36.
-Are you threatening children?
— I don’t threaten children.
- You walk with an ax...
- Well, what about the axe? I trashed the kitchen and that's it. Children watch cartoons and put together puzzles. There is only VKontakte.
- How did you quarrel with her?
“She didn’t spend the night at home for two days, but she returned today.” I said that I don’t need to come home anymore.
After this, the man shouts out the window again: “Come here, let's talk. Here, on the bench."
“So, I told her,” Denis returned to the conversation with the Komsomolskaya Pravda correspondent, “that I’m throwing out your things.” And he threw away her jacket. She asked: “Will you let me home?” I said "No". She said she was calling the police. She came with the police, I kicked them out. I sent them from here. And they left.
- Why then did they say that you took hostages?
- Because she has nowhere to go - to cover her butt.
— Do you have six children?
- Six, not a single child is registered in my name. Three of my relatives. She had three children before me. We met her in 2013.
Denis is keeping his children because of his wife's infidelity.
Photo: SOCIAL NETWORKS
The man shouts out the window again: “Why are you listening to them, are you stupid? Of course, I’ll go out, there are about 50 people in uniform standing there.
— Were you working in Arkhangelsk when, according to you, she cheated on you?
“I just went there, she sent me.”
— What are the children doing now?
— We're going to cook dinner. But they cut off our gas and we can’t feed our children. They are sick, why would I let them out? Where will I send them if she listens to the negotiators? I do not know why. The child came up to me and said that he couldn’t switch cartoons.
-Can I talk to the child?
- Dina, come.
- Hello! We play puzzles.
— Denis, how old are your children?
- 15, 10, 9, 6, 4 and 3 years.
- What will you do next? Make peace with your wife?
- How to make peace now? Either they'll go to jail or go to hell.
A man shouts out the window: “Why didn’t you look into the rape report?”
- What kind of statement?
— She wrote a statement about rape. She said that he (the lover) took advantage and raped her.
- So she didn’t cheat?
- Apparently, she didn’t cheat. She went to the police and said that she had written a statement. She didn't want it, but he took it by force.
Residents of the house are forced to stand on the street until Denis B. is detained.
Photo: Artem KILKIN (archive)
At this moment the man receives a call from his mother.
“Mom, don’t listen to what they say anymore,” he says into the phone to the frightened woman. - Something bad happened in life. Maybe he's gone off the rails. Which police, which hostages? Mom, I'm sorry. Mom, the end of the world has happened for me.
After this, the man’s wife calls.
“You understand, that’s it, I’m screwed,” he says to his wife. — All over Russia they are already saying this. Come here, I won't touch you. We watch cartoons. According to the news, they are being held hostage. I'm screwed, that's it.
After this, the man receives a call from a friend.
“I went crazy and that’s it, Sasha, it’s all over.” I'm not going to jail or hell. An axe, yes, there is one. How drunk am I, what firearm? I was not a security guard. Children watch cartoons. I just broke the glass.
Communication in a team: problems and solutions
Team communication is important for every employee of the company. When good relationships are maintained at work, employees work better and more productively, and friendships are established. True, it is not always possible not only to make friends with someone, but simply to join the team. The problem and culture of communication in a team is familiar to every newcomer. As soon as you arrive at a new place of work, the team either accepts or does not accept the employee
. True, no one is immune from conflict in the team, which will put an end to normal relations.
Introverts have a lot of problems communicating in teams.
. Natural shyness and reticence lead to a lack of basic communication skills. Of course, an introvert can maintain friendly relations with a few friends, but it is impossible to join a whole team. And the more employees there are in the office, the more difficult it is to become part of a single whole.
How to communicate in a team if good relationships do not develop from the very first day of work? Firstly, do not divide yourself and the team into two sides.
. Each team is a living organism and you are part of it. Therefore, you are also responsible for the health of your team. If from the very first day you start pointing out the shortcomings of others, then by doing so you are not showing yourself from the best side.
Simplify your life in a team simply by treating each employee as such.
, what he is. This advice is especially important in cases where you come to work and see that they are beginning to treat you with prejudice and do not want to say hello. You know that you can be smarter or better than other employees, for example, you have unique work experience. But you shouldn’t take the side that some team members are forcing on you.
There is very simple advice: in order to join the team, you need to find a person in it who is considered an unspoken leader
. This is the so-called “gray eminence”, whose opinion is important to everyone. If the slightest problems or difficulties arise, everything must be resolved through this person.
Mobbing
- not such a rare problem in a team. It usually occurs in women's teams, when a new employee occupies a position for which someone was already aiming or wanted to place their relative. Of course, mobbing can occur not only in women's groups, but given the fact that it is women who are prone to intrigue and gossip, the emergence of such problems is quite predictable.
Since mobbing at work does not just start and end, you will have to look for the reason
. And for this you need to talk with a person who has influence on the team. Naturally, we are not talking about the boss, although his tasks include establishing normal relationships in the team, but about the unspoken leader. Take courage and come up with your question. Calmly discuss the situation that has developed, try to find a way out of it together. If you can’t come to a compromise, then think carefully about whether you need this kind of work. Nerves are worth more than money, but you can always find another job.
Do you have a smoking room at work and do you go to it? It has been proven that people who smoke are more united
than non-smokers. No one forces you to start smoking, especially since it is harmful. But if you really want to establish communication with employees, then a smoking room is the surest way.
The team cannot do without small groups that are formed on the basis of personal sympathies. It’s simply impossible to please everyone, but you can find your place in the team through a small group of people
, in which it is interesting and easy for you to be yourself.
The problem of communication in a team
Anastasia, hello! The situation you find yourself in is not easy, but quite common. Criticism, suppression and competition are quite common among employees. And the fact that this happens to you characterizes the team in which you find yourself rather than you. Surely there were people before you who were treated the same way, and you came at a time when the situation was tense. To completely eliminate such unpleasant phenomena, one must always consider the team as a system as a whole. But what should you do in this case, how should you behave? First, do not challenge the content of what your administrator says and do not make excuses . You have the right to be who you are and have the work experience that you currently have. And also for the first time, 3-6 months, it is not very good to understand the essence of the work and all the processes that take place there. In the end, management knew these nuances at the time of hiring you and nevertheless considered you a suitable employee. Let the administrator know that what he says is his personal opinion . And management and other colleagues, as well as you, can decide and evaluate your work yourself. And in any case, it is too early to judge your successes or failures, since you still have little experience in this position. Comment on how the administrator behaves - “You are criticizing me now,” “trying to humiliate me,” “devaluing what I do.” If he (or she) denies it, say that nevertheless this is your personal opinion and impression of what is happening. Also - give her responsibility, ask - “Who could help me understand my work?”, “assign someone to help me”, “appoint someone as my mentor”, “can you teach me how to do this task?". The main thing that you must demonstrate when you join a new team is the desire to learn how to do your job well . If others and management see that you are trying, making extra efforts to understand the essence of the work, asking questions, reading guidance documents, asking not to be distracted and not being distracted by empty talk and unimportant matters - then everyone will notice and will appreciate it. In addition to the administrator, there are other people - management, colleagues - who can evaluate your work and provide the necessary assistance. If your administrator behaves openly aggressively, then it is important to behave equally freely towards him. But don’t resort to mutual insults, but say: “You constantly criticize me as much as you can!”, “I don’t think that your opinion is the only important (correct) one here.” And at the most tense moment, or when there is a pause, say “I have no time to argue with you, I need to do my job.” Situations in a team are different. If such an attitude towards you begins to appear among other colleagues - that is, the situation begins to grow and becomes chronic - then the matter is in the team itself and the pathological processes that occur there. In this case, the most correct solution is to change jobs and teams. No one is immune from this. In this case, it will be important to leave with the least losses, maintain self-esteem, extract useful experience from what happened and find a team and colleagues who will be glad to see you. I wish you success!
Group communication problem (4 answers)
Smirnova Irina Fedorovna, psychologist in Minsk or via Skype
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