Choosing a life path for most of us can be extremely difficult and confusing. At school they don’t teach how to listen to yourself and trust your intuition, and parents more often direct their children to “grain positions” in order to provide them with a bright future, contrary to the desires of their souls.
One of the stages of the transformation process and choice of life path is when a person finds himself alone with his internal war and can no longer shift responsibility for it to other people. From this moment on, the internal integration of the opposing parts begins. Many people manage to avoid this point simply because few can support a person in the fact that no one is to blame for his suffering.
While a person is convinced that his needs and expectations should be fulfilled by other people, and without this he cannot be happy, while he demands this from others, his own internal resources remain unclaimed and unactualized. And those that exist are spent on accusing, persecuting, denouncing and punishing those whom he appointed responsible for his life, guilty of his suffering.
The point of transition from one vision of the world to another lies through the recognition and awareness of existential loneliness - only I alone can make myself happy.
Source
If you think that the Universe sits and invents problems and illnesses for you, then you have delusions of grandeur... It simply realizes your thoughts... (c)
Awareness or Myth
But what area of life requires truly radical transformation? Here are the usual planes of life that we rely on:
- Place of residence;
- Job;
- Family;
- Amount of children;
- Health;
- Soul.
A person is committed to change, without assuming that he is not satisfied with the present. Often asking: “What do you dream about? What kind of job do you want?” - you won’t hear an intelligible answer.
It's easy to be dissatisfied on a global scale, but it's difficult to explain specific things. Wanting to move from a small town to a big one, from the Far East to the Krasnodar Territory, a person does not think that he will transport all the baggage of life, stored in the nooks and crannies of his soul, all the discontent, bad weather, rough roads and embittered neighbors to a new place of residence.
Before you really decide to choose a new path, determine the direction where to move, make sure that the desire is conscious and necessary, look at your mistakes, otherwise you can walk in a well-worn circle all your life.
I'm dating two. Whom to choose?
In search of love, a person is often faced with a situation where two contenders appear on the horizon. A man finds himself two women. We are talking about the initial stage of a relationship, when a person met two candidates with whom he could create an alliance. Who should I choose? After all, it is necessary to abandon someone and leave the other.
It is reassuring to know that most often two candidates for love are not alike. One can be modest, and the second can be beautiful. One can be sociable, and the second can be loyal. Please note that we are talking about different character qualities. A person holds on to two different properties, between which it is difficult to put an equal sign.
There is something in both partners that is highly valued by a person. However, these qualities are different. The choice is complicated by the equal value of these qualities. The man says: “If I were to combine these two people, I would get the very ideal that I am looking for.” And indeed: the applicants themselves do not satisfy human interests. He clings to them because together they make up the ideal that is needed.
The qualities that you like in both candidates are equally valuable and important, despite the fact that their set in each partner is different. But let's return to the question of who to choose. It is difficult to make a choice when you understand that rejecting one partner will deprive you of the opportunity to enjoy his benefits that the other cannot provide.
1 – Why do you even need a loved one?
Think about the question of why you need a relationship at all. If you are looking for wild sex, then it is better to choose a liberated woman. If you need resorts and shopping trips, then choose a cheerful young lady. If you need stability and comfort, then choose a modest and faithful person. If you want entertainment and variety, then choose a cheerful and sociable partner.
Depending on what kind of relationship you need, choose one candidate or another. The choice is very easy to make, since they are not alike. If you think about the relationships that you want to build further, it becomes clear which of the two candidates is more suitable for the role of your soulmate in this union.
2 – What can’t you put up with?
Give yourself some time. If you don’t notice anything bad about your partners now, it means you don’t know them well. You should get to know the people you're choosing between better. For what purpose? Find out about the shortcomings they have.
You think about their merits when you can't make a choice. But all people have shortcomings. There are qualities and behavior that you absolutely do not accept. You need to find out what weaknesses your candidates have, so that you can then understand what weaknesses and what kind of partner you are willing to put up with.
A sociable woman may turn out to be a completely inept housewife. Are you ready to come to a house where food has not been cleaned or prepared? At the same time, the second woman overshadows her own modesty with the ability to create comfort in the house.
Get to know not only the strengths, but also the weaknesses of your applicants in order to make the right choice. After all, you will have to live not only with advantages, but also with disadvantages.
What to change?
A change of path is a greater concept than a change in the objective factors that make up our life. These are global changes that are made for the sake of acquiring unity and undivided existence at any moment in life, regardless of what you do. By changing the vector of movement, we must initially change the inner world. When we learn to live in harmony, balancing the concepts of wanting and being able, having knowledge, changes are not scary. You need to start changing your life path from yourself.
- If you want to be slim, take up fitness. No money for the gym? Walk, five kilometers a day is quite manageable for an adult and the results will not take long to come. If you have nowhere to go, you can happily run at home on the spot, while listening to music, choosing sports lessons on the Internet, and watching nature views.
Read more: The importance of gifts in relationships
Sometimes the phrase “no money” sounds like an excuse to have a reason to do nothing.
- Do you want new inner impressions? Change your haircut, hair color, update your wardrobe. All changes should be like the flight of a butterfly, harmonious and free. The newfound unity of soul and body will lead to the following changes.
- It's easy to change jobs if you're a professional. Nothing can keep you from making changes if, in addition to your diploma, you have experience, constantly acquired knowledge, the ability to get along in a team and internal discipline. Don't you have it? Improve yourself!
- Every city will be good for you if you take with you from the old town good memories of it, memories of friends, colleagues, thoughts of fishing and swimming in the sea.
- Even divorce is better considered as a beginning, a new chance (which is not available to everyone) in order to learn to live in peace with oneself and only then begin to search for your soulmate.
Choice of life path and different dimensions of space
If in the 3rd dimension the main vectors of space practically do not depend on the desire of a person and are formed mainly based on the scenario plan, as external quantities... forming a certain basis, a framework of ideas about life..., then in the 4th dimension this framework simply does not exist ... from the point of view of concepts, goals and development objectives ... in the 4th dimension.
Consequently, those people who enter a state of TRANSITION form the task of not only completely TRANSFORMING their LIFE, but also transforming their values in such a way as to enter this space and get into new values, taking into account DISCONNECTION, purification, neutrality, lack of dependencies from the space of 3rd dimension." and further “...
Unfortunately, today’s human awareness very poorly represents the expansion of one’s own awareness, only indirectly, in certain guidelines, since it begins to forget very quickly…. what happened two years ago, what kind of person he was, what he was afraid of, what he depended on, what he depends on NOW and what he is afraid of today. This forgetfulness, this lack of analysis is introduced by the Higher Self as a program for preserving the ILLUSION, which was created for a person to live in the space of the 3rd dimension...”, any introduction of (new) things into the space of the 3rd dimension will cause conflict states not only with civilizations in the form of ENERGY SUPPLY , also in the form of an EMOTIONAL FRAMEWORK"
Life's journey as a series of changes
It is generally accepted that young people must choose a path: build a career before 30, not forgetting to start a family and have children before 35, decide on an apartment, a car, a kindergarten and an institute. But it’s unlikely that life fits into planned orders. Love comes unexpectedly at fifty, and children do not always ask permission to be born.
- Don't be afraid to make a choice
Our entire life from birth to its logical conclusion is based on choice. Even when playing in the sandbox, we think about whether to build a house or step on the neighbor’s sandpiper. So we will go through life, creating or destroying. Moreover, at a young age the choice is made easily. It seems that at the age of 15 you clearly understand your needs, although you don’t correlate them with your capabilities, but the desire to have determines both the choice of institute and the path to achieving the coveted diploma.
- Learn to think positively
Read more: 8 rules for a happy large family
There is no need to regret the past. Over the years, ease, carelessness and ease in making decisions disappear. Despite our desires, a beacon of “what if...” takes root inside us, which pulls the strings, destroying our dreams. You want to change jobs, with the last of your strength you persuade yourself to work until the weekend and begin frantically looking for a new place: closer to home, higher salary, fair bosses. This seems to be the best offer, but “what if” comes into play and excuses appear:
- I can't cope with my responsibilities;
- The team won't like it;
- Strict management;
- Working overtime.
Turn all the disadvantages into advantages, any situation will look much more attractive.
- When making drastic decisions to change your life path, do not forget about a backup plan
Change is impossible without risky decisions and actions. But they pass more calmly if there is somewhere to catch your breath. Keep in mind the main plan for change, and next to it, alternative ones.
- Don't take changing your life path too seriously. The more importance you attach to circumstances, the less likely you are to succeed.
Change playfully. You don’t get depressed when you don’t win a sports lotto draw, so should you panic if you didn’t get what you wanted the first time. Try it! It is very easy to change when a wave of desire rises from within, penetrating every cell of the body, bringing the brain into a euphoric state. Your choice will lead to prosperity.
Life choices
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Today we will talk to you about choice. Not necessarily about important strategic choices, but about choices in general. After all, we do it so often that we simply don’t notice most situations of choice. But if we make a choice and don't even notice it, then who is really making that choice? Are we?
Let's start with simpler cases - with informed choice. Let's say in the morning you think about what meetings await you at work today, and figure out what to wear. Or, looking at an online map of the city with traffic jams, you decide whether to drive or take the subway. This choice is quite deliberate. We make the same decisions when deciding whether to go to the gym in the evening, watch a TV series, or drink beer with friends. This is a fairly simple choice, but sometimes we have to make more complex ones. For example, if we are looking for a job and we receive two interesting offers from different companies, we need to choose which one to accept. If you are a young man and you proposed marriage to your girlfriend, then you have made your choice, and now she has to make hers.
We make such decisions more or less consciously. Why, more or less, because neuropsychologists have long proven that the rationality of our choice is nothing more than a myth. We feel that we have carefully weighed the pros and cons and chosen the best possible option, soberly and rationally. No, of course we enter into marriage following our emotions. But it seems to us that we make the choice of a workplace, career, business partners or vacation spot very rationally. This is not true, unfortunately. Most of these decisions are made by our subconscious, the mechanism of which is not yet well understood. But the main thing is that our subconscious is not controlled by us. He cannot be forced to feel or decide anything by force of will. Rather, it controls us, exerting enormous influence on our supposedly rational choices. The question is - what is our diet, our consciousness doing at this moment? It plays the role of a kind of press secretary, whose task is to explain to the public, or, in the case of consciousness, to ourselves, why we made this or that choice and why it is good. Comes up with a decent rationale. A man buys a car because it is beautiful, because he is realizing some childhood dream, or because he is measuring his ego with someone. Or because he subconsciously expects that the mere sight of him driving a new horse will change the attitude of others towards him. But if you ask him, he will start talking nonsense about German quality, horsepower, winter tires as a gift, and so on. In general, let's just accept it as a fact that the rationality of our choice for any reason is in most cases greatly exaggerated.
But this text is not about our irrationality. It’s about the fact that every day you and I make a huge number of decisions without even trying to somehow rationalize or comprehend them.
Let me give you a few examples
If tomorrow is a weekday, then you will wake up in the morning and go to work. Most likely, you will do this without thinking. After all, this is your job, you have to go to it. But you actually have a lot of options. Don't go to work today - take a day off and go to the amusement park with the children. Or read a book. Or never take this job again and find another one. Or don’t look for another job, but register a legal entity and start your own business.
Perhaps in the evening you will spend time in the company of people close to you. Perhaps it will be your husband or your wife. Perhaps a loved one. Perhaps friends. But at least from a purely technical point of view, you have a choice, right? It’s not just not meeting your husband or wife today, but even breaking up with them and being left alone. Or find a replacement for them. It's the same with friends - after all, you didn't swear eternal loyalty to them. You can say goodbye to any person at any moment. The only exceptions are parents and children. There is no way to throw them away.
If you have a free minute, you probably won’t resist the temptation and jump into a social network. But you do have a choice! You can read a book instead. Or just look out the window and think. After all, the best thoughts come to a person’s mind when she is not busy with anything. Social networks are your choice
What is the name of the city where you live? You live there because it is the result of your choice. You can leave this town, right? And from this country too. And if you haven’t left, then it’s your choice. Political beliefs, favorite football team, religious views, and even, in the modern world, gender are the result of your choice. And if this choice was not realized by you as a choice, it does not change anything. You did it anyway, and continue to do it every day.
Think about how many decisions we make every day simply because we did it yesterday. Or they always did. Or because they decided once, many years ago, and since then they have not even questioned this decision.
Add to this the things we do not of our own free will. Well, for example, we’re going to a New Year’s corporate party, which we don’t really want to go to. Or we succumb to the persuasion of friends and spend the weekend not at all as we would like. Or we follow the lead of our wife or husband. Or we comply with some of our parents’ whims, although this annoys us. It's unpleasant, but this also happens.
Introduced? Now think about what percentage of decisions we actually make consciously, thoughtfully and in our own interests? 10 percent at best. Of course, I didn’t count it on purpose, but it’s unlikely to be much more. And it would be fine if we were simply prisoners of our own subconscious. After all, it is ours, not someone else’s. But how many decisions do we make simply under the influence of external factors, the significance of which for our lives tends to zero?
Developing a life strategy begins with a simple but very important exercise. Every time you do something, ask yourself why you are doing it. Do you really want this? Is this your choice? What alternative options do you have? Isn't it better to choose them than to make the usual but wrong choice?
Of course, it is impossible to completely get rid of unconscious choice, and it is unnecessary. We shouldn’t overload our poor brain with so many decisions. But you can do it differently - at some point, think carefully about your life, choose a life path, and then follow it, even without thinking about every little thing.
I was recently told a good joke. A young man comes to a psychologist with a complaint about burnout at work.
- What are you doing? - asks the doctor.
“I sort oranges,” the patient answers, “I work on an assembly line.” Oranges are moving along a conveyor belt. My task is to separate the large ones from the small ones and put them in two different baskets.
– How can you burn out in such a job? – the doctor is surprised.
- Why don’t you understand! Every moment is constant decision-making, constant decision-making!
Our life is a constant process of making decisions, albeit not always vital ones. Keep this in mind and try to make more conscious choices.
Setting priorities
More than once in life a person is faced with a choice situation. We can say that a person makes a choice at every step, every day, in any matter. Only sometimes this choice is made automatically, without difficulty or hesitation, and sometimes it is very difficult to make. And at such moments the question arises: what to choose?
Who to choose: that woman or the other? What to choose: your favorite job or a highly paid one? Should I leave or stay? Do it or wait? A man always makes a choice, only sometimes it happens automatically, and sometimes he has to think about it.
A person thinks only when he is faced with a choice between two values that are important to him. For example, you want your job to be interesting, but if it is low-paid, then a person is faced with a choice. Both interest and amount of money are important. What to choose?
In a situation of difficult choice, you have to set priorities. What is more important to you: interest or money, health or the desire to please other people (in a situation where you drink a lot of alcohol, for example). You love a person, but he doesn't love you. A choice arises: leave him, let him go, or still try to build at least some kind of relationship with him? What is more important to you: mutual love, respect and trust (these are your desires and goals) or misunderstanding, infidelity, humiliation (which probably comes from a partner who does not love)?
What is more important to you? This is the question that needs to be answered in a situation of choice. Should you have something that doesn’t bring you what you want, or should you wait, try something new, change to achieve your goal?
If you are faced with a choice, then the best way is to relax and think about the question: “What kind of future do I want to live in?” Take a moment to dive into a future where you are happy with yourself and your life. Dream on! Now ask yourself: “I have a choice before me. Will the first option help me achieve the future I dream of? Will the second option help me achieve what I want? It often turns out that only one of the options can help you achieve your goal. But it also happens that none of the options will make you a happy person. In this case, you need to think not about the proposed choice, but about what you are ready to do next.
How to make a choice in a difficult situation? Set priorities. How to do this without making mistakes? Just take a break from pressing problems for a while, remember your desires, the goals that you want to have. And think: what will help you achieve your goals? Choose only what will make you a happy person. And everything else doesn't matter.
Choosing a loved one based on the problems you may have with him
Sometimes you have to choose not a person, but the problems that you may encounter in a relationship with him. If you are faced with a choice of which partner to choose, then this method of resolving the issue is perfect. Often people suffer, not being ready to make a specific choice, staying with one person and abandoning another. But if you want to resolve this issue as beneficially as possible for yourself, then use the following technique.
Choose not a person, but the problems that you may have with him in a relationship. If several people offer you to build a serious relationship at once (you like them equally, you are equally good with them), then choose not the person, but the problems that you may have in your relationship with him and which you are ready to put up with. People are imperfect, just like you. This means that in your relationship with any partner you will encounter certain conflict situations. In a relationship with one partner, some problems will appear, with another - others, and with a third - others. In any relationship there will be some specific clash of interests, views and desires. So choose what you are willing to live with.
Determine what problems you may have with a particular partner. And choose someone in a relationship with whom you can put up with the difficulties that arise. In this case, it is better to be guided by the knowledge that people do not change. This means that you are given a choice: what problems in relationships are you willing to put up with throughout your life, if you don’t hope that your loved one will change?
