How to forget the past and start living from scratch?

Sometimes there comes a time in every person’s life when he asks himself this question: how to let go of the past and start living in the present? When we are depressed and overwhelmed by a feeling of guilt or irretrievable loss, it seems to us that life will no longer be the same and the dark streak that has come in it will never end. But is it? Did our problems and misfortunes only happen to us? Why do other people live while we continue to reproach ourselves for old failures and suffer for what is long gone? Do we really want to live the rest of our lives with our heads buried in the sand of memories and oblivious to the whole world of possibilities around us? No one in their right mind would answer yes to any of these questions or would read an article with that title.

If you still haven't closed your browser tab, it means you care about what's going on in your life, but you haven't yet found a way to change anything. In this case, I have extremely good news for you - letting go of the situation and starting a new life is easy. No volitional efforts, no courses of treatment or consultations with expensive doctors, no chemistry or “traditional” medicine. All you need is a little logic and common sense, a little ability to assess the situation from the outside and a little faith in yourself. Your goal is to understand that the past has no power over you. And not to believe in it, but to deduce this truth from a series of simple logical conclusions. Only in this way can you destroy the false attitude that keeps you captive of memories and does not allow you to live for today. Your main enemy is lies. Your weapon is the truth. Do not be afraid to enter into this fight, it is absolutely impossible to lose. You just need to learn to let go of the situation and forgive yourself for past mistakes.

Why the past won't let go

All people are different and they all perceive life and their place in it differently. Some representatives of society can literally amaze with their ability to cope with severe shocks without much effort or survive the most dangerous trials without harm.

Other people, after traumatic events, may break down and lose their zest for life, falling into long-term depression. It is difficult for such people to move on, because they are dominated by grievances and disappointments, pain and anger nest in their souls. All these feelings prevent you from letting go of the past, taking a deep breath and moving towards future happiness.

According to psychologists, there are two main reasons indicating a person’s inability to continue living:

Self-pity. A person who has experienced a traumatic event begins to feel sorry for himself and in this pity he forgets about everything else. For him, constant soul-searching, cherishing his traumas, and regular memories of what happened becomes natural. To some extent, such behavior characterizes a person as a masochist.
Fear of failure. Regularly encountering failures in various areas of life, a person begins to believe that he is simply not capable of achieving success. He loses faith in those around him if he has at least once encountered betrayal towards himself.

Become the scriptwriter of your life

If there has been a failure in your life, you don’t need to think that similar situations will now happen regularly.
Don’t drive yourself into a dead end with thoughts that your loved ones will easily betray you, and that at work they won’t appreciate your efforts. Perhaps this has already happened and even more than once, but this is not a reason to give up on yourself and constantly turn to the experience of the past. Rewrite the script of your life. Try to figure out why the same situations regularly happen to you and what you can change in yourself so that troubles do not recur in the future.

How to stop worrying about past mistakes

In order to take the first step towards changing your life for the better, you should stop thinking about the bad. The following tips will help you stop worrying:

Learn control. It is necessary to clearly understand that increased anxiety and constant worry have a destructive effect on mental and physical health, shortening life. Learn to keep your emotions under control and not give in to your worries.
Analysis of possible difficulties. Take a moment and think about what you are really afraid of and what problems you consider to be the worst. Try to come to terms with these thoughts by letting in all the “worst things”, and then think about how you could cope with unwanted situations.
Monolithic wall. You can’t sit in one place and expect that sooner or later life will get better on its own. This doesn't happen. If you want it to change for the better, be ready to take action. Take the habit of meditating every day, creating a solid wall within yourself that will demarcate your painful past from the happy future you are working towards. Behind you is the past, covered with reliable protection, in front of you is the future, which depends only on you, and you are between, in the present.
Increased employment. A person is inclined to indulge in stupid and sometimes even dangerous thoughts if he has too much free time. Stop messing around and sign up for courses or training that will help you develop your skills and talents. Not only will you have a great opportunity to learn something useful, but your mind will also be occupied.
Positive thinking. Try to think only about good things, listen to invigorating music, read motivational books. There is enough negativity in the world without your worries, so it’s worth getting any bad thoughts out of your head.
Active life position. Remember that you are surrounded by family and friends who also need your attention. Often the problem of anxiety appears because a person focuses on his own ego. Put your interests on the backburner and find time to communicate with loved ones.

Important

The most important thing is to get rid of increased anxiety. If you cannot cope with stress on your own, then seek help from a doctor. The right antidepressants will help you overcome nervousness.

Start taking care of yourself

This is something that many people miss. Being too busy with our personal and professional lives, we forget to take some time for ourselves.

The escape routes we talked about above distract us even more from connecting with ourselves.

Even if you are not dealing with past memories, it is still necessary to gain some space.

Many of us unconsciously feel that we “should” be sad because we have had such negative and painful experiences. It's a little strange to be happy and take time to cherish yourself in the face of difficulties.

So many people choose to just sit there miserable and expect life to change automatically for them.

This sad and miserable state becomes a comfort zone as there is nothing to do except wait for our feelings to automatically improve.

Some also unconsciously think that if they return to their natural, healthy and happy state, other people may perceive them as insensitive. And they will lose sympathy for them.

And so many of us unknowingly keep ourselves in a sad state due to social or ethical problems.

You can come out of this state and take responsibility for your happiness and joy simply by connecting with yourself.

Be kind and generous with yourself. Give yourself love and respect. Explore your hobbies and interests. Remember that you are free to take care of yourself and love yourself no matter what!

By taking care of yourself, you are not only doing yourself a favor, but also others. Because you will be able to help others more when you yourself are in a healthy state mentally, spiritually and physically.

How to heal yourself?

The rule of thumb to keep in mind here is that anything that helps you return to your natural state - mentally, physically or spiritually - will heal you.

In fact, the healing process is essentially a process of returning to our natural state.

When you get a cut on your finger, your body begins the healing process to return the skin and flesh to its natural state. If you allow it to heal by protecting it and caring for it, it will heal naturally and you will soon be in a healthy state again.

The same is true for our mental and spiritual health. If you take good care of your soul, mind and body, while avoiding any behavior, activity or thinking that could potentially slow down the healing process, you will recover faster than you think.

Here are some healing actions classified according to the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of our existence:

Physical healing

Regular exercise such as walking, running, yoga, interval training, etc.

A natural, healthy diet based more on vegetables and fruits, while containing less fat and sugar. Foods and ingredients that will nourish and detoxify the body.

Early morning awakening. Go to bed and wake up with the sun. The ideal time for quality anabolic sleep, proven by research, is from 9 pm to 5 am or from 10 pm to 6 am.

Dress neatly and appropriately every day. The way we dress can greatly affect how we feel. Therefore, wear clean and ironed clothes and take care of your hygiene.

Mental Healing

Read good books and articles on personal development and growth.

Be around positive, inspiring people and inspiring environments.

Spend time in nature regularly.

Make it a habit to spend a couple of days without digital devices or the Internet every now and then.

Take some time each day to relax.

Perform selfless acts of kindness (ideally if you do this anonymously).

Is it possible to get rid of the past?

You need to learn to let go of the past, without this there will be no movement forward. To be able to say goodbye to a painful past, you should adhere to the following rules:

Acceptance of necessity. The most important thing is to accept that life does not stand still, and it’s time to start working on yourself, stopping delving into past experiences.
Forgive your past. Stop blaming yourself for the mistakes you have made, understand that no one is immune from them. Remember the most difficult test of the past and feel sorry for yourself, mentally sending your concern there. Wish your past self good luck in your quest to become a better person.
Visualization. Sit in a comfortable position and relax. Imagine a scenario of yourself overcoming past traumatic events. What would you do if you found yourself in that most difficult moment again? Mentally resolve the problematic situation and convince yourself that you have completely gotten rid of this burden.
Stop remembering the bad things. Constant memories of past troubles will not lead to good, so leave the past in the past, and direct all your energies to the present and future. Remember that you have unfulfilled goals. Which should occupy all your thoughts.
Thank the past for the experience. Even the painful past turned out to be an invaluable experience that can help you out more than once. Thank the past for new knowledge and acquired wisdom. After all, all your actions teach you something every day, and mistakes make you stronger.
Analyze your worries. Keep a notebook in which you will describe all your experiences in as much detail as possible. What reaction do they evoke in you and what actions do they encourage you to do? Carry a notepad with you so you don’t miss anything important and be able to write down any thought that arises when you fail again.
Provide an outlet for your emotions. Sometimes it is very useful to throw out accumulated emotions. Scream, cry, break a couple of plates. This way you can defuse the situation and extinguish the incipient depression.
Help from specialists. If all your attempts have not brought the desired result, then do not isolate yourself, but seek help from a specialist. Perhaps a consultation with a psychologist will be the impetus that will give you confidence in your actions.

Nothing will be in vain if we learn to learn useful life lessons from it.

The struggles and difficulties of our past should not be in vain. Instead, we can choose and decide now to turn it into something that will benefit others. Turn it into a higher reason and purpose. A goal that is greater than ourselves.

We can choose now to start thinking outside of ourselves and beyond our internal boundaries.

Once we follow this path, we will see that the world has many more problems than we have. Suddenly, the things that once dominated our thinking now seem very small compared to what many others experience.

When we direct our energy and thoughts towards contribution, we automatically break free from the shackles of our past. We understand that there is much more to life. That there is still a lot to be done, a lot is still happening in this world.

So ask yourself:

How can you change and redirect your painful and bad experiences into a force for good, into something that will bring you complete joy and satisfaction?

How to start living in the present

By letting go of the past and protecting yourself from unnecessary worries, you can finally relax and start living in the present, and for this you need:

Find motivation. Moving towards happiness and a bright future is impossible without motivation. Learn to set goals for yourself and argue for their importance. If you clearly understand why and why you are doing this and not otherwise, then it will be much easier for you to achieve your goals.
Learn to live for today. It is very important to do everything in a timely manner, here and now. You live in the present, not the past or future, so try to solve at least a small task every day.
End a painful relationship. Sometimes people from the past interfere with living in the present and moving towards the future. Many people say that you shouldn’t throw away your friends and acquaintances, but if a relationship with another person is burdening you, then it’s better to break it off. Then nothing will slow you down.
Getting rid of painful emotions is also very important. Remember the emotions you felt during the most difficult periods of your life and be prepared to counteract them if they make themselves felt again. Alternatively, you can think about your favorite interests and hobbies.
Start the day on a positive note. Make it a habit to start every morning with a smile. Take a contrast shower in the morning, go for a run in the park. Drink a delicious cup of tea or coffee, wink at yourself in the mirror and get ready to accomplish the impossible.

Important

If you want to start living again, then be prepared to completely get rid of the past, be it painful memories or the people who provoke them.

Focus on goals

If you constantly replay difficult memories, you will no longer feel present in the present, and the future will seem bleak. It’s as if you are walking along the road backwards: you only see the path already taken and your steps on the dusty road.

Focus on your desires, write them down in detail and think about what you can change now.

Don't set ambitious goals. Write down each achievement in a special diary and re-read your list from time to time to be inspired for new achievements. This will motivate you when inspiration and enthusiasm disappear.

When does the need to forget arise?

Let's look at the main reasons why further relationships with a partner become impossible and require termination:

The appearance of a new love in a companion. That difficult moment when a lover announces that he has fallen in love with another woman and leaves for her. And even the presence of common children does not stop him.
The relationship has run its course. There are no more feelings and physical attraction to each other, and even the habit of being together no longer saves. This can be a mutual attenuation, and then the divorce goes relatively smoothly for everyone. Or this is a decision of one of the partners, leading to the suffering of the other.
They didn't get along in character. Absolutely different life positions and principles prevent people from coexisting peacefully, constantly leading to disagreements and conflicts and rejecting any compromises.
Everyone has long had their own life (interests, friends, etc.), in which there is no room for a companion.
Regular manifestations of rudeness and cruelty on the part of a partner. This includes physical violence and moral humiliation. Everything that suppresses the personality must be dissolved.
The chosen one does not love you, but only uses you for his own purposes. This often happens, for example, when there is a financial dependence of one on the other.

When the understanding has come that further coexistence is no longer possible, it is necessary to make the difficult decision to break up in favor of your happy future, albeit after some time.