How to become the ideal woman for your man?

All your friends and acquaintances have been married for a long time, and your parents are asking about their grandchildren, but you don’t have anyone on the horizon as a husband? Believe me, you are far from the only one who is in this situation. This is especially true for girls who are the only child in the family. If you are one of these lucky women, then this article can help and tell you how to get married well.

Understanding why this happened could take forever. But it’s also worth considering that getting married just to get left behind is wrong. In this case, you will not see a happy relationship and a calm family life.

Understand what you want

Almost every girl wants to get married successfully and find family happiness, because by their nature women are continuers of the family. Since ancient times, they have had a need for a strong and strong man, with whom they will build a new unit of society.

If you are sure that happiness in the form of your betrothed will simply fall on you by itself, then, alas, this is far from the case. You need to take everything into your own hands and influence your own destiny. Look for a man who will love you first, accept all your shortcomings and turn them into advantages, who will make you better and change your life. No one will do this for you, so go on a search as soon as possible. There aren't many good men left!

To begin with, before you go in search of the man of your dreams, think carefully and answer the following question for yourself: “What motivates you to start a family?” If you are doing this just because the biological clock is ticking, then put off your search. What is imposed on us by society is that there is supposedly a certain age before which we need to get married, this is complete nonsense. Live the way you want. Don't think that you might not be able to do something in time. You will have time to do everything and there is definitely no need to rush. And if your search is explained by the desire to find love and the willingness to share your love, then you are on the right path.

Also keep in mind that you should not get married if you are only interested in financial support from your husband. There are many other ways that will help you find a man who can simply support you. You should not get married if you are still too young and understand that it is very likely that after the wedding you will want to return to your carefree life after some time. Also, do not listen to relatives who practically force you to find a husband faster. If you don’t want to get married simply because you want to find the one and only one for life, then you definitely shouldn’t even try to find someone. You will regret your decision later.

If you have been in a relationship for a long time, but still don’t have the treasured ring on your finger, then you should talk to your partner. During the conversation, watch how he reacts to your words, find out whether he wants children. In general, find out about his plans for the near future. If they do not match yours, then is it worth continuing the relationship? Perhaps your man wants to first build a successful career, buy his own house, and later start a family. In this case, there is no need to leave. Support him and understand that without such benefits as a home and high income, you shouldn’t even think about a family.

The most proven ways to get married successfully are only in our next article.

Final Thoughts

How to become the best husband for your wife? First, it is very important to identify what is harming your marriage and begin to take specific steps to change those things. Be sure to respect the woman with whom you live and build a family. Show her signs of love and attention regularly.

Don't forget that good sex and regular intimacy are the key to a successful marriage. Help her around the house more often, spend more time communicating, and listen to what she wants. Don't be lazy, don't be selfish, and your marriage will work out as well as possible.

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What should an ideal man be like?

To understand how to get married well and who you should look for, you need to create at least in your head an approximate portrait of the man of your dreams. In the future, this will help you avoid useless acquaintances and not succumb to the advances of those men who definitely do not fit the profile of your betrothed.

But also keep in mind that so that your searches are not useless, set realistic goals. Be realistic. So, for example, you can write that your ideal husband should have the same interests as yours. Or that you need a guy without bad habits, with developed muscles, who loves children and knows how to earn money, and so on. It all depends on your imagination, but you shouldn’t go too far with your desires, since in the end you will create a portrait of someone from the world of fantasy.

Now let's talk about how to correctly make a list of the qualities of your ideal man. Place the qualities that are most important to you first. And also write next to it a column of those qualities that you definitely won’t get along with.

When you find a candidate for the role of your husband, then take a closer look at his environment and family. If everything is fine there, there are no scandals or disagreements, then most likely your man is exactly what you need, but it’s worth taking a closer look at him.

It is also very important that the financial situation of your chosen one is no lower than yours. In this case, you can be sure that he will definitely be able to provide for your family if any unforeseen situations happen.

If your interests and outlook on life are similar, then it is likely that your union will be strong and successful.

It is also worth remembering and reminding yourself that ideal men simply do not exist. Therefore, if you have set yourself the goal of getting married, then get ready for the fact that the search will be long and the one who seems ideal to you at first glance will later show his shortcomings. This is why it is important to learn to accept a person completely, and not just his good traits. And understand that you are also not completely perfect and you also have flaws that your partner will have to live with. So, you will play on equal terms, so just be grateful to him that he loves you like this, and he, in turn, will not forget to thank you either. But it is worth clarifying that we are not talking about such shortcomings as assault, drunkenness and other things. In this case, no matter how much you force yourself to come to terms with it, nothing good will come from your union. At best, it's a scam.

Ten rules for being an ideal husband

1. Show strength of character and tenderness towards your wife

Every woman, regardless of her level of self-confidence, needs a man whom she can rely on, with whom she herself does not have to be the boss. She needs a strong and at the same time gentle husband.

The Bible teaches husbands to treat their wives as “weak vessels.” What is this “frailty”, since women live about eight years longer than men, get sick less, and according to statistics, infant mortality is higher among boys than among girls? Women are weaker than men and more vulnerable in the emotional sphere, they are easier to offend and insult, which is why a woman so needs a combination of strength and tenderness from her husband. A man’s tenderness is manifested in caring for his wife, caring for her, and strength is expressed in firmness of character, in a bold look at the future, when a man is not timid in the face of difficulties, but assures his wife: “Rely on me, we will overcome everything, everything will be fine.” " A woman also expects active action from a man in problematic situations; she likes it when he is able to make decisions and bear responsibility for them.

2. Praise your wife constantly

Women are naturally less confident than men. This is partly due to the fact that a modern woman has too many responsibilities: everyday life, children, often full-time work, caring for elderly parents, etc. And since she is emotionally vulnerable, she needs constant words of approval and praise like air.

Almost every wife asks her husband: “Do you love me?” Not only on the eve of the wedding, but after five or ten years of marriage, a woman asks this question not because she suspected her husband of cheating or felt his indifference, but to be convinced of his love again and again. She doesn't need "information" but confirmation.

Men are very annoyed by this question: “Doesn’t the fact that I bring a salary every month, spend every night with her, and have not left her at all, testify to my love for her? I said this on our wedding day! After all, I don’t expect praise from my boss every day, I just try to do my job well. Why do women need this sentimentality? Yes, because they are designed differently! Accept this as a fact and start praising your wife at every opportunity!

You may ask, “Isn’t it hypocritical to admire her actions when I don’t feel what I’m saying?” No, noticing the good in people is not hypocrisy. Over time, you will discover that your feelings match your words and you will completely sincerely admire what your wife does and how she does it.

3. Share areas of responsibility with her.

In the relationship between spouses there should be a distribution of responsibilities. Since you both grew up and were brought up in different families, with different traditions, when you get married, you will encounter unexpected “antics” from each other. For example, in the wife’s family the father always threw out the trash, but in the husband’s family this was the mother’s responsibility. What should a new family do? Often disputes and even scandals arise between spouses over the smallest issues. So agree to create your own “traditions.” It is better for newlyweds to abandon the example of their parents and begin to actively “adapt” to each other, give in and help their spouse, rather than defend their position.

Christian marriage is built on the fundamental principle: “A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Experience shows that the most difficult thing is to fulfill the first part - “leave father and mother.” Here it is not enough to simply move from your parents’ house to a separate apartment, although this is also important. It is necessary to leave parental models at the emotional level and at the level of comparisons, because the girl wants to see the ideal traits of her father in her chosen one, and the guy wants to see the ideal traits of the mother in his chosen one. Everyone has a tendency to compare their spouses with their parents: “Mom always washed my clothes, but you don’t want to,” “My dad always bought groceries, and you force me to do it,” “Mom fed me soup every morning, and you offer me muesli with milk”, “Dad assembled cabinets and shelves himself, but you don’t know how!”

Many small questions also arise: who will manage the money, decide where to go on vacation, call a plumber, take the children to school, wash the car, do the laundry... In marriage, there is a clash of “incompatible” interests of two different people - how to bring them into line ? The selfish husband declares that he, as the head of the family, has the right to the “last vote” in both large and small matters. But this is the position of an extremely insecure person who, by dominating his wife and children, asserts himself in the role of “head”. In this case, “headship” for him means unconditional submission of family members.

However, the most reasonable solution is to let the person who understands it best have the right to have the “last vote” when resolving any issue.

The husband realizes himself, first of all, in work, and the wife - in creating home comfort. For a wife, the house is her “fortress”; she spends more time in it than her husband (at least during maternity leave), cooks more often, so the kitchen is her “territory”, and a wise husband will listen to his wife’s wishes in home decoration. Choosing the color of the walls, arranging furniture, the number of colors, etc., etc. - leave the decision on these issues to a woman!

4. Don't criticize

A husband who constantly criticizes his wife will cause many negative consequences:

• The wife may become depressed.

• Negative emotions and stress can cause her various physical illnesses.

• She may become angry, withdrawn, or frigid.

• Stops respecting himself.

• Will begin to pour out his pain and resentment on children.

• Decides to get a divorce.

Constant criticism is always destructive, but there is a positive way in which it is possible to make changes in a relationship. No communication is complete without criticism, but the less criticism there is, the happier the marriage will be. We should not suppress our negative emotions, the main thing is to learn how to express them correctly. Here are two ways to express your dissatisfaction: “I’m tired of eating potatoes and sausages every day! Don’t you have enough imagination?” Or: “Darling, you cook so well, I really like it! As a child, we always ate the same thing and I always dreamed that my wife would often cook different delicious things. I would really like this dream to come true! Could you do this for me?

This way, you will say what you would like to change, but without criticism. A marriage certificate does not give the right to offend a spouse.

5. Remember the importance of “little things”

Men, as a rule, are less sentimental than women, so they do not attach much importance to birthdays, anniversaries of various family events and all sorts of “little things” that can be very important for women.

Many women love pleasant surprises. One woman admitted: “If I remind my husband that our wedding anniversary is approaching, I will not be interested in celebrating this day with him. I’m tired of hinting to him every time that he should do something special for me.”

Love is not only feelings, but also actions, so a husband who forgets about his wedding anniversary commits an “unforgivable” sin! New Year, March 8, birthdays of the wife and children - all these holidays should not be ignored.

To a man this may seem like something insignificant and uninteresting, but a woman will always appreciate it if you pay attention to her new hairstyle, write a love note and leave it by the mirror, invite her to a cafe...

6. Don't ignore your wife's need to be close to you.

Of course, no two people are the same, but in general, a woman wants to be close to a man more often than he wants to be with her. We are not talking here about an immature, jealous wife who does not want to let her husband go anywhere and throws hysterics at him - such a wife needs the help of a psychologist, since her behavior is caused by a feeling of extreme self-doubt.

Some husbands like to spend their free time outside the home with their wives, while others need purely male company from time to time. A husband who values his marital relationship will not neglect his wife's need to be together. If spouses have different hobbies, it is necessary to strive for a compromise. This does not mean that spouses must do absolutely everything together throughout their lives. But you should respect what your spouse needs and compromise. Only an immature person will demand that things always be the way he wants them to be.

7. Do everything in your power to make your wife feel secure.

A sense of reliability is one of the first needs of a woman in marriage, and a caring, gentle, attentive husband can fill it. There are different areas in which women need their husbands to understand. For example, for one woman, a sense of security comes when her husband does minor repairs around the house and helps her rearrange furniture, even if she likes frequent changes. Such care of the husband about the house convinces the wife that she herself is not indifferent to him.

For another woman, this feeling arises if her husband is interested in her daily life. You may not be impressed by the details of her day, but by listening to her stories, you are expressing your love for her and thus increasing her sense of reliability.

Some women collect things, such as magazines, recipes, or houseplants. If your wife feels confident and reliable at the same time, do not criticize her hobby.

Some women put aside small savings. This may seem pointless to you, but it reinforces her sense of security. Feelings may be irrational, but this does not make them any less real or valuable. Therefore, do not interfere with anything that gives your wife a sense of stability, unless, of course, the family budget suffers from it.

8. Treat your wife’s mood swings with understanding and patience.

Mood changes in all people without exception, but in women much more often than in men. This is partly due to her menstrual cycle. Sometimes a wife's behavior may seem inexplicable and reckless to her husband. But you need to realize that frequent mood swings are common to all women. Joyful moments in life can make your wife very happy, while sad moments can make her depressed. You may want everything to be smooth and calm in your marriage, but your wife behaves differently. What to do in such situations? Don't give in to her mood, be balanced. After all, maybe she married you because on a subconscious level she wanted to be as emotionally stable as you. You can become a reliable support for your wife, because you are not subject to the same mood swings as hers. So don't panic when this happens to your wife. Be kind and patient. Don't blame yourself and, on the other hand, don't try to criticize her and urge her to stop acting like a capricious child.

9. Help your wife try to improve your marriage.

As a rule, if women are not satisfied with something in their marriage, they turn to books, psychologists and clergy for help. They want to make positive changes, and this hurts the ego of many men, and they resist such attempts from their wives. Such a husband will most likely refuse to read an article about raising children suggested to him by his wife, as he will perceive it as criticism of himself. But take my advice: read this article! What do you have to lose? You might even learn something!..

The wedding ceremony does not provide the newlyweds with the necessary knowledge for married life. We all need to learn the art of family relationships. Any husband can read a couple of dozen books on this topic, as a result of which he will certainly become more experienced in matters of family life. If your wife asks you to go together to a family conference, seminar, or talk with a psychologist, do not neglect her suggestions. But if, in his stubbornness and pride, the husband rejects any ideas on how to improve the marriage, then let him not be surprised when his wife simply leaves him. So donate your time, don’t be stubborn and build a happy marriage together with your wife. Don't be satisfied with what you have and don't tell her that she expects too much from you.

10. Know her individual needs and make an effort to meet them.

No two wives are alike. The one you married is different from all other women. At first glance, her needs may seem endless or irrational to you, and you will decide that you will never be able to satisfy them all. But it’s worth trying to at least find out what your wife needs, what she wants, what she loves. And then try to satisfy these needs to the best of your ability. This does not mean that you should indulge all her selfish whims, but you must learn to accept and respect even what seems insignificant and illogical. You will see how much happier she becomes if you don't neglect her.

Where to look for your future husband3

As mentioned above, you shouldn’t expect your future husband to come to you and knock on your door. You need to go looking for him yourself.

Don't be afraid to end a relationship with someone who is absolutely not right for you. Even if this relationship lasted a year or more. Don’t torture yourself and don’t live with someone with whom you are uncomfortable and have no desire to start a family. Understand that you have one life and you definitely shouldn’t spend most of it being around someone you don’t like. Don't be afraid that his family and friends will think badly of you when you decide to end the relationship. It makes no difference compared to if you continued to live a life that is unpleasant and does not bring you pleasure.

Sometimes, in order to find the one you have to do bold things. So, for example, you can change your job, place of residence, or simply start visiting various public places and events more often, much more often. Go there more often, what interests you and should interest your future husband. This could be a group yoga class or just a gym if you want a strong and healthy man. And if you want to meet a man who understands art, then your path should lie in various museums, galleries and exhibitions. Finding your love will not be easy, but if you know exactly what you want, then this search will be much easier and more enjoyable for you.

How to bring yourself closer to ideal: small tips

To bring themselves as close as possible to the ideal, women need to be guided by some criteria that are most often put forward by men. We are talking about the following:

Having an ideal appearance. Of course, all men have different concepts regarding female beauty, but no one has canceled the well-groomed and neat appearance.
Compliance of character and behavior with the requirements of decency and morality. Girls who allow themselves to openly flirt with representatives of the male part of the population, or talk incessantly, are not held in high esteem. Self-esteem should always be present.
Femininity, manifested by characteristics of gait, behavior and attitude towards others. When assessing these qualities, men should have a desire to protect such a girl.
Possessing a good sense of humor and the ability to carry on a conversation . Undoubtedly, a man will be with a girl who shares his hobbies, will be able to not only listen in difficult times, but will also be able to support with practical advice.
Having an interesting profession. It's no secret that men are attracted to women who are engaged in unusual, exciting professions that also bring money. But remember that real men are extremely sensitive to the superiority of women’s salaries, which, according to family psychologists, should be three times less than that of their spouse.
Practicality and accuracy. Perhaps practicality is that important quality that many modern girls lack. It manifests itself in the ability to run a household in accordance with the available family budget.
The ability to enjoy life and naturalness. These qualities should accompany the ideal woman throughout her life.

Improve yourself and become an ideal for men! Good luck with your changes!

Look after yourself (even at home).

Men love with their eyes. And even those who say out loud that they love you for who you are (with unkempt hair and an old T-shirt). Perhaps, for the first time after the wedding, your husband really won’t notice any minor flaws in you, but over time, he will probably learn them by heart and begin to reproach them with or without reason. To prevent this from happening, learn to take care of yourself literally every day. Dress only in clothes that fit your figure beautifully, do attractive hairstyles and do not forget about light makeup even on weekends.

How to become a girl similar to the male ideal?

Modern guys are very picky. Statistics say that the lion's share of men dreams of a beautiful, smart, caring and thrifty lady. The chosen one must also often have a successful career. This is a great reason to show off to your friends. The representatives of the stronger sex themselves are in no hurry to change for the better for their beloved. Quite often, during a love relationship, they acquire a beer belly and a lot of bad habits. For such men, you don’t even want to change. But for a smart and rich groom, perhaps it’s worth trying to find out how to become a better girl. And without delaying, start your own transformation:

tidy up your own skin and hair;
become the owner of a fresh manicure;
fall in love with sports and a healthy lifestyle;
eliminate the possibility of hair appearing on the face and body;
choose a fashionable and beautiful wardrobe;
learn to use decorative cosmetics correctly;
smell like an exotic flower;
always have a well-groomed and neat appearance.

With the help of the mentioned manipulations, every sweet young lady will not only learn how to become externally ideal, but will also be able to make her cherished dream come true. However, unfortunately, all purely technical manipulations will not make a girl internally beautiful. For these purposes, the method of self-improvement should be used. Remember, inner beauty is an integral part of the portrait of a perfect woman. It is impossible to be perfect without it. Cultivating the sprouts of inner beauty is a painstaking and lengthy process. It is based on spiritual work. In the process of long labor, such qualities as a sharp mind, good education, feminine wisdom, kindness, loyalty, responsiveness and many other useful traits appear. They help every lady become an ideal girl.