Every person has experienced conflict situations. Moreover, all its varieties are characterized by a depressed mood and quite often it can end with sad consequences both for the person himself and for the group in which he arose. Communication in times of conflict is such a pressing topic that conflicts also flare up over it.
Conflict is an intersection of interests. There is no one to blame. There are only reasons. Evgeniy Mikhailovich Malyshev
Often, a conflict between two leaders of work groups can end in a war between the two teams. This seriously undermines his performance and puts every employee into a state of stress. Therefore, you need to understand this topic. As the saying goes:
Forewarned is forearmed
What is conflict?
Conflict is an unresolved state of contradiction between two objects.
They, in turn, can be either an individual or a social group. The latter very often happens in criminal circles, where the desire to fight for power acts as a conflict driver.
A conflictogen is something that leads to conflict. And anything can lead.
It could be an incorrect intonation, a gesture, or any other random manifestation of another person's behavior that turned out to be poorly interpreted by the other person.
Also, a phrase that is said by a provocateur in order to resolve the conflict can act as a conflictogen. In general, people go into conflict for various reasons:
- Through my own carelessness.
Because of the desire to rise above others. Out of envy. To set it up. There are many causes of conflict, so it is better to focus on the types of conflicts.
Behavior strategies in conflict: 10 tips from a psychologist
I met a psychologist and psychotherapist from Tyumen, Tatyana Bigun, on Instagram.
I don’t often get around to writing something about conflicts - and the topic is important, because, firstly, we have conflicts all the time (and that’s normal!), and secondly, very few people know how to do this without much damage for yourself and for others. In order not to fall into manipulation, into insults, into resentment.
Tatyana agreed to share her vision of how to behave in a conflict situation.
Meet: Tatyana Bigun , graduated from the Tyumen Medical Academy.
She studied in clinical residency in the specialty “psychotherapy”, as well as with R. Kociunas - Institute of Humanistic and Existential Psychology, and also took a course in positive psychotherapy by H. Pezeshkian. She worked as a doctor and psychotherapist.
From the dictionary: what are conflicts?
Conflict is a clash of opposing, incompatible tendencies, which is accompanied by negative emotional experiences. According to the definition of O. Morgenstein and J. Von Neumann, conflict is the interaction of two objects that have incompatible goals and ways of achieving these goals.
Let's consider today the conflicts that arise in communication, during the interaction of close people .
Negative sides of the conflict
There is an opinion that the emergence of a conflict situation is always undesirable, which is associated with loss of trust, emotional support, a sense of security in relationships with loved ones, quarrels, threats, hostility, disruption of the stability of relationships, and there is also a tendency to deepen and expand the conflict.
Conflict situations can be obvious and have a quick, “turbulent” nature, or they can be hidden, sometimes unconscious and develop slowly, giving rise to an atmosphere of dissatisfaction with relationships and the general life situation.
Often, as a result of conflict, one person asserts himself at the expense of another. In this case, it is possible that only one party acknowledges the conflict. The other participant in the relationship does not consider the current situation to be a conflict.
Positive components of conflict
However, let's look at the situation from the other side. Do you think relationships could develop without the emergence and overcoming of contradictions? “Dear ones scold - they only amuse themselves,” says popular wisdom.
When a person does not realize that he is violating the boundaries of his loved one, which leads to his chronic dissatisfaction, then conflict helps him understand this and change his behavior.
At the same time, the loved one resolves his emotional dissatisfaction, which helps to defuse the tense atmosphere and, in turn, prevents the conflict from deepening, because emotional response to minor controversial situations decreases.
Close people often only during a conflict can voice their fears and expectations, the discussion of which leads to increased trust between them.
Promotes the development of common rules and values, which facilitates the setting of priorities and strengthens relationships between close people.
Thus, conflicts can be constructive.
