Self-sufficiency: what it is, main qualities and types

What is self-sufficiency?

Self-sufficiency is a state in which a person does not feel the need for help or the presence of others around him. The characteristic fears associated with loneliness and inherent in most people are unusual for a self-sufficient person: he does not need psychological support and does not suffer from its absence. For a self-sufficient person, there is no authority, a person whose opinion and, especially, approval is important, and whom one wants to become like.

One should not confuse the currently fashionable Japanese concept of “hikikomori” – isolation with self-sufficiency. A closed person who does not communicate always has problems that prevent him from fully interacting with others. A self-sufficient person does not have such problems, and he readily communicates with people.

Independence is often confused with self-sufficiency, that is, the ability to perform some actions without the help of others. But an independent person who knows how to earn money, spend it and provide for his life, is capable of being dependent on other people, communication and society in psychological manifestations. For him, the concepts of fashion, compliance with the image that he creates for himself for the approval of others, other people’s opinions, etc. are important. A self-sufficient person is deprived of this too: he can wear what is comfortable and live as he is.

Thanks to this attitude towards themselves and their lives, those who are self-sufficient do not have to look for someone to blame for their own failures. If such a person makes a decision, then he takes upon himself all the consequences of his action. He doesn't have to be offended by people or circumstances, and he feels too good about himself to blame himself. An attractive feature of such a person for others is that he does not blame anyone to his face, does not condemn actions and is able to help if someone needs it.

Qualities of a self-sufficient person

For those interested in self-development, information about the qualities that are inherent in a self-sufficient person may be useful. But developing these qualities in yourself specifically so that someone will appreciate your efforts and call you a strong person is already a sign of dependence on other people’s opinions and the desire to achieve the approval of others.

If a person is self-sufficient, he has the following qualities:

determination - the ability to achieve results despite external obstacles;
inner strength, as responsibility for one’s decisions and actions;
self-confidence, which makes it possible not to depend on the opinions of others;
no fear of being left without support: solitude is a reason to get away from the hustle and bustle and do what is interesting now.

To achieve self-sufficiency, you also need the ability to take care of yourself. You can’t become self-sufficient if you don’t have the basic skills to cook food, provide daily living, pay bills, etc.

Self-sufficiency of a woman

Sometimes a girl who leads a corresponding lifestyle at the expense of her parents or a man also considers herself self-sufficient. But the whole entourage is lost with the loss of an easy source of money and the absence of other people’s help. A self-sufficient woman remains independent both psychologically and materially.

This condition should not be confused with narcissism, inability to communicate with men and inability to start a family. If a self-sufficient woman has a desire to give birth and raise children, to love a man and give him the opportunity to love herself, she creates a family. The motives are not the typical desire for many to be like everyone else or to find a source of material wealth, but a personal desire to be close to someone they like.

You can develop independence by cultivating the following states in yourself:

Accepting the fact that loved ones do not have to be what you want them to be. A self-sufficient girl enjoys loving herself, that is, experiencing positive emotions from giving her love to someone. Receiving material or psychological gifts in return is nice, but not necessary.
A sober understanding that a partner also has the right to his own life. He has his own interests, work, the right to love another person and leave a woman if there is no affection for her.
Lack of envy. If a girl likes the clothes, hairstyle, lifestyle of another woman, then the self-sufficient one will simply buy or arrange the same for herself. Those who are not self-sufficient will only have to envy and look for shortcomings in their rival.
Adequate self-esteem. Each person has his own stages of development, abilities, and skills. If possessing certain qualities and skills is necessary to get a job or improve your own standard of living, then you just need to learn something new. You shouldn’t consider yourself a failure if something doesn’t work out or you don’t have any special skills. Most likely, they simply were not needed. But excessive pride in their achievements is not characteristic of self-sufficient women: they know that they once could not do this either.
Correct prioritization. Self-sufficiency tends to find satisfaction within itself. If a person is unpleasant, you should not communicate with him through force. Monetary but unsatisfying work can be replaced with another if emotions are more important than material well-being. You can find many such little things that make up life and often deprive you of happiness. It is important to determine what you want to receive more: positive emotions or material components.

Self-sufficiency of a man

The psychology of a man is largely formed on the instincts of a protector and provider. For those who are self-sufficient, their own independence becomes a priority. When meeting a woman with whom he is interested in being close, such a partner will provide her with all his ability to protect her from adversity and material disadvantage. But in this case, the woman will be required to be able to accept such care and guardianship.

Even with a full understanding of her right to her personal life, her own interests and hobbies, a self-sufficient man can become dependent on himself. This will happen if the woman herself does not possess the properties of a free person. But more often than not, such couples become happy and exist for a long time, collapsing only at the will of the man.

From the outside, the behavior of such a person can be similar to the behavior of an egoist or a tyrant: he never makes excuses or explains his actions. The motive for all his decisions is only the feeling of correctness, which arises when carefully analyzing the situation and thinking about his actions. The dissatisfaction of others does not matter, and even the spouse will have to take his action for granted. Most often, for family members, the results of actions that are irrational or do not fit into generally accepted rules become the best.

Women are attracted to the qualities of such a man:

generosity;
placability;
lack of attempts at self-affirmation;
non-smallness;
the ability to fulfill other people's desires only for one's own pleasure.

But upon close acquaintance, girls can be put off by the almost aggressive ability to stop cases of manipulating him. A man who does not succumb to provocations and feminine tricks is often presented as an egoist. But a partner who is able to accept him for who he is will always feel safe and confident.

How to become such a woman

In order for women to become self-sufficient, it is necessary to adhere to certain rules in the formation of such an individual.

Never think that there is someone stronger or better nearby. Always compare yourself to who you were a month, a year ago, evaluate your successes.
In achieving your goal, you don’t need to go over other people’s heads and feel power over them. It is important to learn to ask if you need someone's help.
Never think about your past, about the mistakes you made in it. Plan your future, look at it positively.
No matter how hard it is, no matter what difficulties fall on your head, you should not feel sorry for yourself. You need to be strong and believe that all problems are temporary, they are needed to learn a lesson, become wiser and stronger.
Never lie to yourself. There is no need to engage in self-deception if your soul is committed to doing something, but your brain is protesting against it.
You don’t need to be constantly afraid of losing your man or your job; you should approach life with ease.
You shouldn’t listen to other people’s opinions or depend on them. A woman must make the right decision herself, based on her inner instincts.
To be successful you need to do what you love, the work should be to your liking.
In addition to the profession, there should be hobbies in life that will bring maximum pleasure.
A woman should not sacrifice her principles, desires, and, especially, her career for the sake of a man; she should put her life priorities first.
In life there should be a large number of friends, your own social circle.
A woman shouldn’t tell everyone about her problems, but she shouldn’t worry internally either.
If a young man appears in your life, you don’t need to tell him about your secrets, remain a mystery.
Never let someone humiliate you or spit on your opinion.
A woman should not throw tantrums; making a scandal is a sign of promiscuity and lack of self-confidence.
A woman should love herself, acquire the best, and delight herself with gifts.

I don’t yet consider myself a self-sufficient woman, but I strive for this with all my might. I am engaged in self-development, trying to re-educate my character, and began to devote time to an active lifestyle. In addition, I set aside time every day for English classes and drawing.

Self-sufficiency: is it good or bad?

It is difficult to give a definite answer to such a question. A self-sufficient person often causes rejection among others who are used to manipulating others, are prone to making judgments, or like to assert themselves. An independent person is incomprehensible to them, and they tend to consider everything incomprehensible hostile.

For envious people, a woman’s self-sufficiency and her ability to achieve her goals often results in the same hostility and aggressiveness. Criticism from envious people is indifferent to her, which causes even greater hatred. In an unhealthy team, intrigues often begin to weave around self-sufficient women, which, with a bad leader, can lead to dismissal. This will not be a tragedy for a self-sufficient person, but it can cause unpleasant experiences for her too.

Independence is often presented as an exclusively positive quality that needs to be developed in oneself. But psychological immaturity, which causes people to strive to achieve other people’s successes, distorts the meaning of self-sufficiency and leads to the emergence of another egoist or narcissist.

Types of self-sufficiency

The development of self-sufficiency includes the ability to realize any kind of self-sufficiency. In accordance with the aspects of human manifestations, there are also varieties of self-sufficiency.

Psychological

Most often, this side becomes the most obvious, since it also includes the ability to demonstrate other types of independence. The meaning of the word implies an internal lack of need to have others like you nearby. And this applies not only to independence from the opinions of others.

A psychologically self-sufficient person does not need to communicate with those who consider themselves or are the same. There are no organizations and associations, forums or trainings where self-sufficient people exchange opinions about others or their own experiences in achieving this state. The self-development of such a person is his personal matter.

Social

A person, even being psychologically independent, is forced to live in society. The peculiarity of the condition is that any rules are accepted simply, and one can adapt to any working or living conditions. If something does not suit you, then a person looks for rules that suit him, with which he is ready to agree.

Your own talents, skills and hobbies allow you to find the right niche in society: choose a job, arrange your life and start a family, if necessary.

Economic

Economic self-sufficiency most often means the ability to take care of the everyday side of life. This does not necessarily include the ability to do everything yourself: only the necessary basic skills are present (cooking, cleaning, housekeeping and earning a living).

For a self-sufficient person, the lack of plumbing skills, for example, may be a reason to acquire them, but it can also lead to calling a specialist from the housing office. The choice is influenced by the awareness of the need to do such work with your own hands or the lack thereof.

Adviсe

It is necessary to constantly engage in self-development.
To increase your self-esteem, you need to take care of your appearance, get your figure back to normal, go to a stylist, buy new clothes.
Communicate more often with people who have achieved great success, minimize communication with losers.
Constantly develop in yourself such qualities as confidence, determination, cheerfulness, independence, independence, discipline, determination and willpower.
Praise yourself for all your achievements and believe in future successes.
Set clear goals and always achieve them.
Never boast of your victories to other people.
Treat others with respect.
Adequately assess your abilities and set goals that are achievable.
Learn to control your emotions, no matter what the circumstances.
If there are fears in life, learn to fight them, resist them.
If you have bad habits, overcome them and lead a healthy lifestyle.

As you can see, a confident, self-sufficient woman is not something supernatural and unattainable, it is a very real state that all representatives of the fair half of humanity can strive for. Everyone can become successful, the main thing is to make an effort for this, not to break under the weight of difficulties, to endure this path, and become a self-sufficient person, independent of anyone. Every woman deserves such a life!