Women complain about weak-willed, inert men. Men point out the lack of femininity in modern girls. But nature is such that the stronger sex cannot live without the weaker, and vice versa.
The essence of men is matter, women is energy. For a man to be fulfilled, he needs a Woman nearby who knows how and knows how to inspire. This is its natural purpose.
Recognizing the problem
According to women, the fault lies exclusively with men: poor upbringing, weak character, laziness, spoiledness, selfishness, immaturity, lack of willpower. Rarely do any girls admit that they are also guilty of the negative behavior of their chosen one. And this requires a certain wisdom.
Such women ask themselves: how can they learn to inspire their man to do the things they want? How to turn everyday routine into a daily holiday? How to motivate your husband for a career, money, leisure with family? Is it really possible to do this or is it basically impossible to “remake” a man?
Most women make the mistake of trying to “remake” their chosen one. You can’t do this (men really don’t like it when their will is broken), and it’s unlikely to work, but getting the man of your dreams and a prosperous life is quite possible. If you are ready to change yourself, your habits, existing behavior and attitude towards your loved one for this.
Love and desire
So, you can become a Muse for your partner if you:
- admit that you yourself are not an ideal woman;
- you understand that first of all you need to change;
- you want to stay and build a life with this particular man;
- still love your partner;
- ready to work on yourself and your relationships every second.
In order to learn how to inspire a man, you need love for him and your desire to transform yourself.
How to change so that a man begins to admire you?
Men are inspired by women they admire. Become like that for your chosen one. If you haven’t heard even a “thank you” from him for a long time, let alone a compliment, don’t despair, everything can be fixed.
To do this first:
- Accept and love yourself. It is these women who motivate and encourage men.
- Show yourself as an individual: find a hobby, passion, study. When you are interesting to yourself, you will arouse the interest of others.
- Learn to be wise, soft, weak and tactful.
- Take time for yourself and your appearance.
- Take care of your man every day.
There is an expression that before you marry a prince, you must become a princess yourself. Therefore, start by changing yourself and your man will soon become the way you wanted.
Myths about how a woman inspires a man
- Praise him, praise him!
This method helps a little in relationships only with a certain type of men, there are only 20% of them. Such people are very sensitive to the opinions of others. If there is no approval from loved ones and the team, there is no movement on his part. But even if he has such a trait, with thoughtless praise a woman will not be able to help him get rid of the inhibitory mechanism that developed in childhood and is closely connected with his mother.
For all other men, blind praise will have no effect. If you want to achieve your goal, a precise psychoanalytic approach will help.
- Feed him, feed him!
The way to a man's heart through his stomach leads to dull relationships. We have mixed everything up by attributing women's desires to men. In fact, you can win her over by generously feeding her. This is how we evolved. The man carried the spoils from the hunt, fed his chosen one, and only then had hope for the development of the relationship.
A delicious dinner is a sign of care and attention to him, but not a magic pill to inspire a man. There is something else that only a woman can fill a relationship with and motivate her lover to do great things. This is not the level of dumplings, but of feelings.
- Show him your weakness
Hints, antics, tricks and manipulations do not inspire anyone. A man may not be aware, but he definitely feels where he is really needed and where he is not. An unconscious lack cannot be simulated, and it is precisely this that a man strives to fill. The only way to get rid of the discrepancy between request and offer is to figure out what exactly you want deep down. Without the fluff of Instagram and your mother’s ideas about your happiness.
What is a man's real inspiration?
“She lifts you up with some precise hits to the soul, and you come to life.”
Valentin Gaft
Everyone says you have to believe in him. But if day after day you don’t get what you want from your loved one, you can no longer believe in the effectiveness of faith.
Other means of influence automatically turn on in a woman:
- someone is adjusting
- someone is offended
- someone takes emotional blackmail,
- someone is playing the silent game,
- someone is looking on the side for something that their husband does not provide.
The result is the same - both are exhausted, unsatisfied and full of complaints against each other. How to motivate your man without changing him or torturing yourself?
The main skills of an inspiration:
- Know exactly what a man is naturally good at.
- To be desired by body and inner state.
- Learn to trust and accept his gifts: from dizzying orgasms to amazing achievements.
The training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan provides a woman with these basic skills for happiness in a couple. Let's look at examples of why we can't inspire a man and what needs to be fundamentally changed in our approach to him.
Go to a psychologist
Of course, the ideal option is to visit a psychologist together, because this kind of consultation will be useful for both you and your loved one. Psychologists, they don’t give advice, they don’t evaluate your behavior, they help you survive the situation, understand yourself, figure out what you really want. You may have to completely reconsider your life values of the institution of your marriage and re-answer the question, why do you need a marriage with this man? I think with such psychological support, restoration of relationships will be more effective.
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Why can't you inspire?
- I wish I could give you a trip to distant and beautiful Australia!
She loves to travel to exotic countries. And he prefers to relax every summer in a simple wooden house in the country. Organizational fuss, hotels, constantly changing pictures before his eyes, a new language, unusual food, unfamiliar people - for him there is not a drop of delight in this, just pure stress. Choosing predictability and consistency, he will invite her out of town to his parents.
Does he want to piss her off? He is pleased to feel a solid foundation, a connection with the past, the warmth of family gatherings in a place familiar from childhood. And he strives to bring his beloved to his corner of paradise.
Even if you agree to take turns spending your vacation either at the dacha or under a palm tree, frustration and irritation will grow inside both if the natural difference in desires is not clear.
Realizing that your loved one is not doing it out of spite, but actually feels this way in his soul and wants what is best is the first step towards mutual understanding. If a woman demands that a man go against his nature, he will either be unhappy with her or happy with another.
- Apartment in the center, diamonds and status
A successful woman wants her man to meet her level of demands. Even if she can achieve everything herself, there is a glimmer of hope that he will finally understand that his woman deserves diamonds, not cheap jewelry; expensive cosmetics, not mass market; spacious apartment in a good area and much more. I'm tired of denying myself because I have to support the whole family myself. How to inspire a man to success and a well-paid job?
Two people are a constant dialogue, where the basic condition is to hear the other. It’s difficult when everything inside is bubbling because he only says that he will try, but in reality nothing changes. Claims completely drown out the other side. A woman loses the ability to feel what is happening to a man during this period, what is the reason for his stupor.
Understanding another person systemically allows us to learn from nature, which always knows how to achieve balance for a common goal. In nerve cells there is a process designated by Ivan Petrovich Pavlov as protective inhibition. If a cell is overexcited, such overload can lead to its death. In this situation, her neighbors take on some of the stress. This saves the cell from death.
But with people it often happens the other way around. The husband came home from work, tired, twitchy, and instead of calm and soft slippers at home he was greeted by an angry wife. We ourselves are stressed to the limit and have forgotten how to calm a loved one with a warm word and a simple deed. Make spending time together a gift, not a punishment.
Women who have learned to understand their husbands also receive financial well-being as a bonus. Before Olesya completed the training, her husband was unable to cope with the task of providing for his family. And now he has found himself in his business. The greater the level of understanding in a couple, the higher the family income.
- If only I had been silent for ten minutes!
He likes to talk, and she likes to think in silence. If you always shut him up at home or just pretend to listen, both will suffer. When a man has nowhere to give his talent, he loses the energy to act. He feels as if what he knows and loves is of no use to anyone.
For a natural talker, this is not a bad habit, not a bad upbringing - this is a property of the psyche that cannot be changed. But you can reconsider your approach to interaction.
When a woman understands exactly what the strength of her beloved is, it is easy to find together the scope of application of his best properties. And so he comes home happy, having held a round table for a large audience. With his loud, convincing voice, he did not leave anyone in the room indifferent to the problem under discussion. He raised a wave of discussion, he was on the crest. With sparkling eyes, he rushes home to share his delight with his beloved!
Bringing the fruit of your labor to a woman is a great pleasure for a man. And if you thought about it together, and he accomplished it not in spite of you, but thanks to you, the charge of his energy increases significantly. When an ideological mastermind awaits her hero with joy, he is ready to endlessly reach new heights for her.
- “Well, well!”, or an attempt to motivate with irony
If he is inactive or does not do what the woman wants, she begins to make fun of her man in order to somehow relieve internal tension. “Well, well, I know how you’ll arrange everything! How many times have we passed!”
This echo of the “saw” is the most dangerous, since it not only demotivates a man, but makes him feel like a social zero. This is greetings from our ancestors, who are still not far removed from chimpanzees. By public ridicule they turned the offending male into an outcast. This kind of thing was no longer taken for hunting, and not a single female went into the cave with this one anymore.
When a man is laughed at by his dearest person, especially in public, he feels the full weight of that ancient humiliation. He himself may not even notice what’s wrong. And his ability to create is constrained by the caustic jokes of his beloved woman.
Women's paintings of the future
Men’s plans consist of fixed tasks and deadlines, without taking into account the fact that everything changes. The goal is to be the same, but have more. Women's plans are always pictures of the future, in color, colors and nuances. That is, by changing, a woman enters into her favorite image completely, without reserve, and broadcasts to the world: “I am the future queen.” And then the world adapts to her and gives her the kingdom. That is, the best reward for a husband on his path to prosperity is if the wife visualizes her and his happiness (and success).
The most valuable thing is when it is an image of two. The wife outlines the path of success for the man and, accordingly, for herself. It’s not for nothing that people believe that a man is the head, and a woman is the neck, where the head turns, that’s where the head will direct its attention. Be a guide for your husbands, know how to guide them correctly!
"How?" - you ask?
- well formulated hint
Instead of: “go, work, stop lying on the couch” or “go, play sports,” it would be more reasonable to formulate this: “My friend has a new boyfriend. He looks great (he earns a lot, etc.). She says he does such and such.” That's all. At this point you fall silent. What happens in this case? You don't criticize him. Don't say anything directly. But the man understands everything. After this, he will be faced with a choice of what to do. The strong will choose development. Will choose the winner's position. The weak will choose to be offended. Will choose the position of the victim. Do you need a victim? I think no.
As an example, I’ll tell you about one couple. They met at the university. She comes from a wealthier family. They started communicating when he was still living in the dorm. This girl had quite high demands and was not going to reduce the level of these same demands. The men began to look for opportunities to earn money. First one job, then two more. And, as a result, he began to earn good money. There was now enough for more than just boots. It is important here that the girl did not leave him, as many would have done. She turned out to be smart enough to understand that if they go through these tests together, their union will become strong, and their confidence in each other will be colossal.
- take a man “weakly”
He came home, brought a million and proudly declares it, and you tell him: “A million? Total? I only married/dated you because I saw great potential. That you can receive not just one, but all ten million.” There are two positive points here. Firstly, it will take a man out of his comfort zone. Secondly, it will show that the woman believes in him. At 100%.
Indeed, a woman's inspiration is not paramount. But all women have one quality that they can use for good. Or maybe even harmful. Most women are very good at noticing a man's flaws. Especially concerning his basic masculine necessary qualities. I'm talking about the ability to obtain resources, protect your woman from the problems of the outside world, be outwardly attractive, healthy (in order to have beautiful, healthy children).
If you use this quality to your advantage, then noticing shortcomings, competently (with hints or as mentioned above) convey information to the man. This quality is used to its detriment when a woman begins to criticize a man with or without reason. Especially in public. This demotivates a man. Can significantly lower a man's self-esteem. In this case, it is much more difficult for a man to achieve his goals. That is, it turns out to be a vicious circle. A woman, acting (perhaps) with the best intentions, criticizes a man, but this significantly reduces the likelihood of obtaining the desired result.
Don't be smart, be wise
By demonstrating intelligence, a woman suppresses her husband. The wise one will turn the situation so that he feels independent. And your opinion can easily be conveyed as a question whether it would be better to do it one way or another. Then there will be no struggle for territory and dominance in the house. And the man converts the saved energy into achievements. Forget in your family such phrases as “I should know better,” “Why did you decide that,” “You’re thinking wrong,” and the like. These are phrases that suppress the masculinity in a man. And will you really be pleased if someone shows overwhelming intellectual superiority towards you?
Admiring look, trust, acceptance
If you don’t grumble about the fact that he forgot to help with the bag, didn’t offer his hand (what can he do!), but thank him sincerely, with admiration: “You’re great! I love watching you do it!”, then anyone will turn into a superman, a sensitive lover, a provider and a hero. Yes, it's that simple. After all, a kind word is pleasant for a cat, let alone a husband!
Your wealth is sensitivity, admiration, respect. If you see the best in your spouse, he will 99% consider you the one and only, and will be the best for you. Why assert yourself differently? Complexes fall away, and in their place wings and self-confidence grow.
If a woman feels and understands the strength in a man, it is easy for him to be just that - strong. Tell him about this often, and rejoice at his exploits.
