Why does the ex-husband remind himself of himself? Psychology of men

Why does your ex-boyfriend remind you of himself?

Returning to the past is fraught with considerable risks. Trying to sew together an old connection with thin tangled threads, we often miss the new prospects, losing irrevocably priceless energy and time. If it happens that your ex occasionally reminds you of himself, then more often his actions are driven not by sincere feelings, but by completely rational thoughts. For example, in search of new love, a guy suffered a couple of failures and decided to return to his old partner.

Alas, in practice, repeated unions are rarely strong and successful, falling apart again after the first everyday storm. The chance arises only in one case - the underlying reason that led to the break is destroyed. If your partner has not changed inside and only outwardly shows a desire to make mutual concessions, then attempts to glue the relationship will only lead to new grief.

Why is your ex-boyfriend writing?

It happens that a guy is attracted to a girl solely by the desire for bodily pleasures. Even after trying a lot of options, people often return to old partners, with whom it is easy to experiment and relax during intimacy, thanks to the existence of maximum compatibility in bed. The problem is that they disagree about other major issues in life, and after a series of sweet pleasures, these couples scatter again in search of a more secure haven.

Considering the various reasons why an ex constantly writes, one cannot discount the most dangerous option - the indispensable desire to take revenge on a woman for a blow to her pride. A guy often begins to blame all personal failures on the girl who ran away, who after the breakup blossomed again, changed her style and significantly increased her status. Such people should be gently but confidently refused, leaving no chance of returning.

Does your ex like photos but not write?

In the era of social networks, men are able to remotely influence their chosen one even without her consent. Often, an ex-boyfriend likes, but does not write, pursuing unclear goals. There are several possible options:

The man wants to restore the relationship, but is afraid to be the first to say so, provoking you into conversation with likes.
If the breakup happened relatively normally, then the likes can be given in a purely friendly manner without any secret purpose.
If a person is completely bad and capable of dirty tricks, then in this way he wants to revive your interest in himself in order to subsequently drag you into a bad adventure. It’s better to immediately ban these subjects out of harm’s way.

Why is your ex calling?

Periodic and persistent calls from a once loved one often take them by surprise, throwing them off balance. If you are not connected by common children, work or other important matters, then it is better to block such numbers and live in peace. The probable reasons why your ex calls periodically are the following:

Calls from a desire to find out news about possible changes in personal life.
The desire to annoy, scold or spoil the mood with a caustic word, thereby at least in such a low way to increase self-esteem.
Drunk calls - after a certain dose, some men have an obsessive thought of making all the ladies they know happy with their communication.
A sincere desire to start a relationship “from scratch.”
It is normal to want to know about your children living with your ex-wife.
A man is depressed from loneliness and the only person he trusts to speak out is his ex-girlfriend. This option is possible in cases where the separation occurred without scandals, and mutual understanding remained between the partners.

Often, after a serious quarrel, you don’t want to hear the voice of the person with whom you broke off the relationship. The question of why an ex-boyfriend reminds of himself often arises at the most unexpected moment. Strange calls irritate, bewilder, and even shock. It is better to deal with such a task without haste, without succumbing to male provocations, so as not to completely ruin your life with new mistakes.

When and why do men return?

Men returning to their former lover occurs for several reasons.

Old memories

The psychology of men during separation is such that at first the man feels a dizzying freedom. He starts going to parties again, drinking beer, surrounding himself with friends. But soon a painful melancholy comes. Random short-lived meetings with women bring little relief and seem meaningless. It turns out that the beloved always remained conscious.

Gradually, pleasant moments from the past become intrusive and deprive you of peace. The gentleman begins to think: it’s hard for the girl he loves without a strong man’s shoulder. The ex is jealous of potential new gentlemen and feels remorse for his own mistakes. After three weeks, the gentleman is overcome by real nostalgia, a great desire to renew the relationship. And he returns.

Longing for a lost relationship is often an explanation for why an ex-wife reminds her of herself. According to the psychologist, it is more difficult for women to forget past love.

Remember! Men perceive information with their eyes. Therefore, social networks (especially Instagram with a bunch of photos) greatly enhance old memories. As soon as a man looks at a VKontakte page, pictures of a girl, strong memories suddenly awaken, a great desire appears to start dating again, living together, making plans. That's why the ex-boyfriend begins to remind himself. The psychology of men is designed this way.

Unsuccessful attempts to find a woman similar to an ex-lover

After a long period of stability, it is psychologically extremely difficult for a man to find a partner. He actually formed a certain stereotype about the ideal lover. Finding a woman who meets the right requirements becomes very difficult. In the new lady, the gentleman subconsciously tries to see his former beloved, and constantly stumbles upon inconsistencies.

In general, looking for a new partner after many years of relationship is difficult. Representatives of the stronger sex quickly get used to the comfortable position when the woman is “already here, conquered.” That is why the former lover first reminds of himself, then returns to his beloved. The psychology of men gives rise to rather predictable actions.

The guy often constantly visits and corresponds. Going through all the stages of a relationship again, getting used to a girl and new requirements is not an easy task. Men quickly get used to good things; the stronger half of humanity is attracted by the lost “comfort zone”, the former lover. By the way, this also explains why the ex-wife reminds of herself. The psychology of both sexes is very similar regarding relationships after a breakup.

Jealousy

Even changing the VKontakte status from “single” to “dating” causes terrible jealousy. Your loved one will get incredibly angry when he realizes that his ex has started dating someone else. Men's pride will be greatly wounded. The representative of the stronger sex will have a great desire to “defeat” his opponent and return his beloved. Jealousy is an important factor that explains why the ex-husband reminds of himself. Psychology records a lot of similar facts.

Breaking up is a mistake

The gentleman begins to realize how beloved the road is, how much he has lost. The man suddenly realizes: he was constantly fixated on negative things and stopped noticing the positive qualities of his beloved.

What to pay attention to when a man shows up after a breakup?

The following things will help you make sure: your beloved or husband returned because he loves you. Selfishness, the desire to improve shaky self-esteem, to feel more psychologically comfortable have nothing to do with it.

The returning man is actively making plans.

He talks about a future together, hints: he’s ready to start a family. This is a serious sign: the gentleman has firmly decided to throw in his lot with you.

The gentleman has changed.

A man truly loves if he has rethought the reasons for the breakup, admitted his own mistakes, and sincerely strives to improve.

For what reasons does your ex-boyfriend remind you of his existence?

Ex-boyfriends, as a rule, appear not when the girl is in tears and despair hoping for his return, but at the most unexpected moments, when all the negative emotions are left behind. And most often, psychologists say, this does not come from great love... But first things first.

So, for what reason does the ex-boyfriend remind you of himself!

Curiosity

“How is she doing without me? Have you forgotten? Did you find anyone? Is her chosen one better or worse than me? This motive overcomes those men who were very loved, extolled, and put first in relationships. He just needs to know what is happening now with his former chosen one. If the girl is just as lonely, his ego remains the same and he disappears again. If she is happy, the guy is very upset that he is no longer the center of someone else's universe. He reminds himself something like this: “Hello, will you give me my favorite CD? Shall we meet for a cup of coffee? Congratulations." By the way, if the girl is happy, the ex may become even more active, such is the psychology of the conqueror! Prove, return, wipe your nose! And it doesn’t matter whether he himself is free or not.

What to do? Don't stroke someone else's pride and hold your head high! “Thank you for your congratulations. I'm fine. Take the disk from Mitya. We’ll sit down sometime, but not now, I’m busy.”

Old memories

Longing for a lost relationship is often an explanation for why an ex-wife reminds her of herself. According to the psychologist, it is more difficult for women to forget past love.

Revenge

“After breaking up, your ex became prettier, got a new man, lost weight, found a prestigious job? How could she leave so quickly? How dare you become happy without me? We need to remind her of ourselves!” If your ex-boyfriend has this kind of thinking, beware, he will do everything possible to once again convince you of his irresistibility. This is the psychology of a narcissist man!

What should ex-girlfriends do? Don't create illusions! React to the appearance calmly (any emotions spur such guys), gently refusing your ex’s attention.

Remember: narcissists are weak-willed, selfish, petty individuals who, a priori, cannot give happiness to anyone other than themselves.

Jealousy

The psychology of men is such that they are terrible owners, this is one of the reasons for the sudden appearance of your ex in your life. The scenario of the last novel looked something like this: the relationship was bright, intense, and there were strong feelings in them. For some reason the guy wanted to step aside and did so without much difficulty. He feels light, carefree, free, however, when he comes across a happy photo of his ex-girlfriend with a new boyfriend, his world collapses!

A man is especially acutely consumed by emotions if it was not just a relationship, but he and the woman were legally married. Old memories immediately overwhelm you, your soul is filled with melancholy, life without a wife seems meaningless, which is why you have a burning desire to remind yourself, to get your wife back. This is real jealousy. The ex-man begins to write SMS, surprise with little surprises, look for meetings in order to sincerely look into the eyes. Does such a relationship have a chance to exist? They have, if there is love there!

Unsuccessful attempts to find a woman similar to an ex-lover

Loneliness

If an ex-boyfriend reminds you of himself years after the breakup, he is definitely driven by loneliness. The woman is sincerely perplexed: why bring up the past if so much time has passed? What motive does the man have? Why does he persistently burst into life with calls and letters, reminding him of his existence?

The psychology of some men is characterized by a simple truth: “What we have, we don’t keep; when we lose, we cry.” Usually this is not immediately realized. There was a beautiful girl who sincerely loved the guy, surrounded him with care and attention, and wanted to legitimize the relationship. The guy was wagging his tail and was unsure of his feelings, which led to a breakup. A lot of time has passed, and he, having never met his love, bitterly realizes that that woman was destined by fate itself. He is haunted by warm memories of his former lover, and as a result, the unhappy partner becomes more active. The ex-man congratulates his beloved on the holiday, insists on meeting, admits that he has loved only her all his life, and proposes marriage.

Is it worth returning to the past? Psychologists do not advise, but focus on your feelings. If you are driven by pity, benevolence, or the desire to punch a careless gentleman on the nose, these are not the right reasons for reunion. Well, if you also think that this is true love, why not?

Sincere repentance

This is the psychology of men in love. If the partners are young, such stories are not uncommon: resentment, emotions, jealousy, vows of love, tears, sincere forgiveness... Here no one becomes each other’s ex, people break up, however, they still consider themselves not free. After a while, partners repent of what they have done and remind their other halves of themselves. The ex-boyfriend begins to like all the posts on social networks of the chosen one, write pessimistic SMS, look for meetings in common companies, etc.

If the psychology of the partners is mature, the man will remind himself differently. This could be an unexpected email with a sad story about lost love, an evening call six months after breaking up with a sincere desire to know how you are doing, a grand romantic surprise, or a drunken late-night visit with love confessions. It all depends on the character of the man.

Envy

For example, quite a lot of time has passed since the breakup. A man sees that his ex-girlfriend was able to make her dreams come true (she found a prestigious job, purchased real estate, traveled almost all over the world). He is overcome by envy, because he himself has achieved nothing. He starts calling his ex-lover and asking for forgiveness. In such cases, it is not worth giving a second chance. A man is most likely driven by envy.

Breaking up is a mistake

Sexual dissatisfaction

In the psychology of separation, another category of men is identified - males. Such people, breaking up with their girlfriends, go in search of new sexual partners. When men do not find a worthy replacement for their former passion, they try to bring back the past.

You can easily understand that a guy is driven by sexual dissatisfaction. When he calls, he constantly gives compliments, invites you home to sit with a cup of coffee, and there are notes of passion and flirtation in his voice. A woman should not agree to such proposals. After some time, the male will decide to break up again or will cheat. The most likely outcome of the resumption of relations is a new break, due to which resentment and pain will again be tormented.

Fallback option

To the question why an ex-boyfriend reminds of himself, there is a psychologist’s answer: the reason for this behavior may be the fear of being left with nothing. The man goes in search of a new chosen one, but at the same time considers his ex as a backup option, periodically calls her, learns about her plans, affairs, and health.

Why does the ex-husband remind himself of himself? Psychology. Why does your ex-husband remind you of himself?

Question for psychologists

We lived together for 10 years. We met when we were very young. The marriage was not officially registered; they have a son together, 1 year old. Just exactly a year ago I found out that my ex had a woman with whom he now lives. He assured me when everything was revealed that it was only SMS and calls. He promised to break the connection. I didn’t attach any importance because I was pregnant, I believed it. We haven't been living together for a month now. He himself came up and said that he was tired of lying and living like this. A lot was revealed, that they lived together when I lived with my parents with a small child, that he introduced her to her mother, that she had an abortion from him. There was a very big scandal, I kicked him out. Although I gave an ultimatum: either I leave with the child or he leaves. He left, and at first he thought that I was not being serious. The first night I know that he spent the night in his car and did not go to her. What's the problem? I live in his apartment, because... While on maternity leave. This whole month he has been calling, writing, trying to find out how my son and I are doing. Okay son, I don’t interfere with communication, their connection is very strong. But why find out about me? After all, he spent 2 years working towards this, to be with someone else. The last time he came he cried and said that he felt bad. I don’t write to him, I often don’t pick up the phone, and I answer questions about how I’m doing normally. He says that this makes him even worse, that he doesn’t know how we live. I try to be on social networks less often; in response to this, he asks if something happened, and says the time when I was last there. I do this on purpose so as not to think and gnaw at myself. In the last conversation, he said that he did not know how to live. To this I said that he should take care of his work, his new wife and her children, two of them from two ex-husbands. To this he said that he could not think about anything except us, me and his son. I understand that a month is very little. Does he want to come back?

Why does an ex-wife or girlfriend remind you of herself: psychology of women

For the question of why an ex-wife or girlfriend reminds of herself, the following opinion of a psychologist is relevant. Women's behavior after a breakup depends on the character and how the breakup occurred:

The man initiated the separation, and the woman harbored a grudge. Many representatives of the fair sex are insidious. If the former chosen one was like this, then she will want to take revenge. At first, she will demonstrate a desire to restore the relationship and do anything for the sake of her beloved, but when her trick works, she will leave the man.
The initiator of the separation is a man or a woman. At the same time, the woman is not offended and is not going to take revenge. The reason for constant reminders about yourself may be that the former chosen one has not yet found anyone. She understands that past relationships have outlived their usefulness. Her habit does not allow her to forget about her ex. That is why she periodically calls and sends messages. Another reason for self-reminders may be because of genuine feelings. A woman loves and does not want the relationship to break and all her dreams of a future together to collapse.

Possible consequences of renewing the relationship

Negative consequences, as a rule, arise in cases where it was not necessary to restore the previous union. Practice shows that people face betrayal by their significant other, deception, constant conflicts, misunderstandings, loss of trust, etc.

It is also important to always remember that a positive outcome of the resumption of relations is also possible - this is a strong union. It will be for all those couples in whose hearts true love lives, for those people who act sincerely and are ready to change and work on their mistakes.

Is it worth going back

Perhaps you still love your partner and dream of building a strong relationship with him. However, statistics show that very few couples successfully reunite after a breakup and live happily ever after. After all, most often lovers break up for a very good reason. Often it lies in one of them.

Think about whether anything about your partner has changed since you broke up. Perhaps he has become more serious, responsible, and has decided not to cheat on you anymore. If nothing has changed, then is there any point in stepping on the same rake? After all, you will have to repeat what you have already experienced once. Are you ready for this?

When Your Ex Texts You, Remember These 10 Things

While it can be annoying when your ex comes back into your life, sometimes it's hard to resist letting him do it. After all, you once fell in love with him for some reason. However, no matter how difficult it may be, you must resist the temptation to respond to his message. That's why:

1. You've already seen what it's like to be with him, and it didn't work out well.

Why go back to someone who wasn't right for you? You broke up because the relationship didn’t work out, or he left because he didn’t appreciate what you could give. If he was right for you and worth your time, you would still be together. But you're not together, so why let history repeat itself?

2. He will respect you more if you don't answer.

Seriously. People tend to respect those who are beyond their reach. This is even more true in relation to your ex, when he thought that you would fall for his hook. But when you make it clear that you do not agree to be treated like this, to be taken for granted, he will quickly understand how worthy a girl you are.

3. If he raised his hand to you, repetition can be dangerous.

Communicating with someone who abused you, even about innocent topics, is unwise. Such people cannot be trusted, and by answering him, you are giving him the opportunity to hurt you again. It wasn't easy for you to leave him, so why do you want it back again? It will only harm you, and maybe even kill you. Do not do that.

4. Renewed relationships are extremely rarely successful.

They aren't even as good as the first time. When you get back together, it will always be a little awkward because you will never be able to forget what you broke up about back then.

5. You don't owe him anything.

You broke up, now you have complete freedom: you don’t have to answer him, you don’t even have to be kind or react in any way to his existence.

6. By leaving him in your life, you prevent yourself from meeting other, better people.

Nobody wants to be with someone who holds on to the past. Yes, you yourself will not be so willing to be open to new relationships if you are still actively communicating with your ex.

7. The further you stay away from him, the easier it will be for you to forget him.

If you had a difficult breakup, you need time and space to get over it. In this case, by answering his messages or calls, you are only pouring salt into your wounds.

8. You don't need him.

In fact, no one needs a partner, especially one with whom nothing good worked out the first time. You may want him, but you definitely don't need him. You are already fine without his influence on your life. He stopped being an important part of your life when you broke up. He had a chance and didn't take it.

9. Most likely he just needs something or wants something.

It’s unlikely that he actually regretted the breakup, because he truly loves you. Most likely, he simply realized that he could not find anyone better, or that no one else was ready to be with someone like him.

10. Why answer him if you can find more interesting things to do?

Why waste your time on someone who has already ruined it once, if you can occupy yourself with something else? Drink wine, order pizza, have a bachelorette party... Anything will be better than responding to your ex.

Author: soulpost.ru