What we think about is what we get. Are you saying that you didn’t order any tests for yourself? Are you sure about this? How can we learn to control our own thoughts in order to “think” only those that do not burden us, but help us live easily?
An experiment was conducted at Harvard University in 1987, led by psychologist Daniel Wegner. Study participants were asked to think about anything but polar bears for five minutes. But no matter how hard they tried to switch to another topic, their thoughts returned again and again to polar bears. The same people were then asked to think about polar bears for five minutes. If you want to know what the result was, you can repeat this experiment yourself.
Your mind is everything. You become what you think. Buddha
Thoughts are subtle “pieces” of energy that move our consciousness; they arise out of nowhere and often disappear into nowhere. Some, however, linger and remind of themselves with enviable consistency. We don’t physically feel them, but we can often feel the final result, transmitted to us using a special “code” - emotions. Emotions that actively influence us and our decisions provide energy or, conversely, reduce our inner strength.
Of course, we can always pull ourselves together and try to “concentrate” so as not to think about something, but the more energy we spend trying to reason with our own thoughts, the more often and persistently they come back to us.
The system of prohibitions is not very effective when we are faced with an “internal test.” And first of all, this is explained by the fact that any task that our brain receives is associated with the work of two departments:
- the first department is the “operator” who directs the stream of consciousness in the direction we have given.
- the second department is the “controller”, which monitors compliance with the specified conditions. It is he who methodically “knocks out” an auto-reminder of what we have just tried so hard to forget.
The illusion arises that if a thought constantly returns, then it is true. Otherwise, why would she insist so much? This is very inconvenient when we are trying to drive away worries, get rid of fear or obsessive desire. Meanwhile, the situation can be corrected very easily.
Causes of obsessive thoughts and anxiety
1. Due to the anatomical features of the vegetative-vascular and central nervous systems, metabolic processes of neurotransmitters, organic brain injuries, infectious diseases and genetic heredity may be disrupted. The entire list refers to biological factors.
2. Psychological reasons include neurosis, depression, personality type characteristics, family upbringing, degree of self-esteem and many factors. Obsessive thoughts can be expressed in different ways. The reasons and fears are different, the rational question arises, how to get rid of them?
3. Sociological reasons include prolonged exposure to stress, social phobia, emotional and nervous tension. Such factors can arise in a work environment or due to family problems.
4. In addition to the main aspects, symptoms of obsessive thoughts and anxiety can develop from various diseases. Among them, the most common are delusional disorder, depression, schizophrenia, neurosis, psychosis, epilepsy and encephalitis.
Symptoms of obsessive thoughts and anxiety
This human condition is also called obsession syndrome. This problem is psychological, and it is necessary to consider it from this point of view.
There are 2 types of symptoms: psychological (internal), somatic (external) signs. Let's look at them in order.
External, or somatic, symptoms:
- unstable heart rhythm (tachycardia, bradycardia);
- shortness of breath;
- frequent dizziness;
- pale or, conversely, reddened skin;
- excessive bowel movement.
Internal or psychological symptoms:
- in rare cases, hallucinations;
- negative memories accompanied by shame, guilt and remorse;
- impulsive actions and behaviors characteristic of a nervous person;
- constant conversation with one’s own “I”, scrolling through the same thoughts in the head, bad memories;
- invented and imposed images in the head;
- exposure to phobias, for example, fear of death, insects, germs, heights;
- sharp aggression towards close people (hatred, anger, etc.);
- the need to finish what you started, without this there will be no peace;
- doubts about whether it is necessary to perform some action (do laundry, go to the store, etc.);
- desire to do terrible things (most often will not be realized).
The listed list of symptoms is not a complete list of how obsessiveness syndrome manifests itself. Anxiety and negative thoughts appear for various reasons, based on the personality type.
Signs
You can suspect a person with social phobia with the naked eye. It is especially difficult to miss the telltale signs if you are experiencing this problem yourself. A social phobia is characterized by:
- avoiding any contact;
- fear when communicating with strangers (sometimes even with acquaintances);
- panic and emotional stress in a situation where they are criticized and evaluated (appearance, talents, actions);
- an overly responsible attitude towards responsibilities, important events and meetings (excitement haunts you even a few months before the date);
- soul-searching (“and if I answer this way,” “I should have said it differently”);
- irritability;
- pessimistic negative attitude, expecting the worst;
- excessive focus on outside assessment and other people’s opinions (“what will people say and think if I wear this sweater/don’t come to this event?”);
- constant anxiety, even when performing everyday and usual tasks;
- absent-mindedness, fussiness;
- a feeling of repetition (a person has replayed many situations in his head, which is what causes déjà vu).
Finding yourself in a real situation of personal social fear (public speaking, traveling on public transport), a person experiences not only moral discomfort, but also physical:
- sweating;
- feeling of suffocation, lack of air;
- stuttering;
- pallor;
- increased heart rate and breathing;
- confusion of thoughts;
- sleep disturbances and nightmares;
- stool disorder;
- nausea;
- pain (in the head, stomach, muscles);
- other individual reactions.
The body naturally doesn’t like this, it wants to stop the “torture” and begins to send signals. This gives a person a clear need to leave, run away, or aggression appears (these are the most popular defense options in response to an unwanted situation that once caused discomfort). Thus, social phobia is not so much a fear of society, but of certain social situations, more often associated with success.
Of course, there are individual situations, for example, real mental disorders (obsessive idea that they want to kill a person, they are watching him). Such cases require more complex treatment, often including taking serious medications:
- blockers,
- inhibitors,
- tranquilizers.
It is worth mentioning that in this article I am talking about social phobia as a psychological state of a person, caused by external and internal factors and amenable to correction with the help of psychological therapy (trainings, exercises).
Ways to get rid of obsessive thoughts
Like any professional in their field, psychologists recommend using all opportunities that will help a person get rid of obsessive thoughts and normalize his state of mind. So how can you eliminate anxiety yourself? Let's try to figure it out together.
Method number 1. Let positivity become a part of your life.
1. Do not allow negative thinking, block it at the slightest sign of manifestation. As soon as you think about the bad, immediately switch to a positive direction.
2. Find a comfortable place and lie down. Remember life situations when you felt like the happiest person in the world. Remember these emotions, switch to them when the negative once again makes itself felt.
3. When a person lacks positive emotions, he plunges into his own world of despondency. Day after day, “chewing” negativity, full-blown depression begins.
4. If there are no thoughts to switch to, find something you like. Sign up for a swimming pool or boxing courses (wood carving, etc.). Your day should be busy so that there is no time for obsessive thoughts.
5. When you get into an active rut and spend more time both with friends and in the fresh air, make it a habit to take a break. This will help get rid of obsessive thoughts.
6. During the day, sit back and forget about anxiety, watch movies, eat pizza. Doing nothing does not mean “doing nothing.” You can deal with the problem yourself.
Method number 2. Think about what you were afraid of as a child?
1. During sessions with a psychologist, many people admit to the ridiculous fears they were subjected to in childhood. Agree, everyone was afraid of the “babaika” who would suddenly jump out of the dark corridor. Now these fears seem ridiculous and stupid.
2. Intrusive thoughts change over time. Adults have their own concerns. Some are afraid of losing their job, losing financial support, or getting AIDS.
3. It is important to understand that as soon as a thought sits in your head, you will replay it over and over again. Try to put aside your fears or do everything to prevent this.
4. For example, are you afraid of losing your job? Build friendships with your bosses and colleagues, improve your skills, and learn every day. Are you afraid of becoming terminally ill? Pay close attention to your health. It is important to get tested regularly and exercise.
5. Like all the above recommendations, there is a conclusion: you can get rid of obsessive, negative thoughts and constant anxiety on your own. But it takes time. Everything bad is imposed, it will recede, like that “babaika” from childhood.
Method No. 3. Immerse yourself in obsessive thoughts
1. You can’t close yourself off unless you switch to positivity and detachment. Try to look bad thoughts in the face and find the true reason for their appearance.
2. Give yourself some time during which to write down all your thoughts, worries and fears on a piece of paper. Look for an explanation for them, dive deeper.
3. Even if it seems impossible now, you try. Allow yourself to be sad, cry, fall into despair, but only for a certain period of time.
4. Psychologists advise penetrating your imposed ideas and destroying them from the inside through consciousness. Such actions must be carried out every day in your free time, when no one will disturb you.
5. Finally, allow yourself to rest. Take a hot herbal bath, turn on calm music that is not associated with bad events in life.
Method number 4. Don't have an internal dialogue with yourself
1. You, like all people, tend to talk to yourself and conduct a dialogue that does not carry any semantic load. During everyday worries, we burden ourselves even more, thinking about the possibility of getting rid of obsessive thoughts.
2. From now on, stop yourself from doing this! Don't think about bad things and worry. If you're washing dishes, focus on the soft suds, the glide of a rag, or the music playing. Dream, relax, allow yourself to rest, live here and now.
3. It’s worth preparing yourself for the fact that you won’t be able to do this right away. It takes practice. Sign up for yoga, martial arts, or start meditating.
Method No. 5. Don't hesitate to ask for help
1. Recent sociological surveys have revealed that more than 40% of the entire population of the planet dream of visiting a psychologist. And this is not surprising. A specialist with many years of experience will give practical recommendations, you will get to know yourself and learn to cope with stress.
2. For psychologists, the question of how to cope with the problem yourself sounds incorrect. Because the specialist believes that it is much easier to immediately undergo therapy at an early stage of obsessiveness syndrome.
3. The only problem you may face is lack of funds. In this case, ask a friend or close relative to become a psychologist for you.
4. Many people practice communicating on the Internet with like-minded people. Visit forums where people are discussing the same problems. Look for joint solutions.
Hopes
The most common way to enjoy life is by sucking on sweet hopes. Hopes are cherished, ecstatically built, grasped at as the only salvation. And they suffer mainly when something threatens these fragile chimeras.
Kill hope and what remains? Without it, they fall into hopelessness. As if there are only two options - either the success they hope for, or a complete paragraph. Therefore, they rejoice not in the present, but in hopes for the best, and suffer not so much in real situations as from gloomy forecasts. Even sadness for the past is a prediction of a life deprived of something important.
Take a closer look: you rejoice not at real victories and acquisitions, but at the attractive prospects for the future that open up at such moments. And you are upset not by losses and losses, but by gloomy forebodings of a future deterioration of the situation.
This is how they live not a real life, but an imagined life. Apparently the current moment, although it remains the only reality, is too short to be taken seriously. But the future seems vast... while the mind focuses on fears and hopes. There is no other future for us.
Ways to get rid of anxiety
There is a list of factors that negatively affect the process of getting rid of obsessive anxiety. Some individuals are not confident enough in themselves, others expect the disease to disappear on its own, and others simply lack perseverance. In practice, you can meet interesting people who, through determination, have overcome a number of phobias and fears.
Method number 1. Psychological techniques
Fight negative thoughts. This technique received the characteristic name “Switch”. The essence of the technique is that you mentally need to imagine all the problems and phobias. After this, imagine a collection of fears in one place in the form of a switch, turn it off at the right moment to get rid of everything. All phobias, from obsessive thoughts to fears and anxiety, will disappear from consciousness on their own.
Breathing technique. Experts recommend breathing to accompany courage and fears. Take a comfortable position and begin to inhale the air slowly and evenly. As a result, you will normalize your physical condition and be able to clear yourself of negative thoughts and anxiety. There is complete calm.
Respond to alarm with action. It is quite difficult to concentrate and look fear or phobia in the eyes. If you have stage fright, you should get over yourself and speak at the event as a speaker. Fear will disappear due to new sensations and courage.
Play roles. With obvious phobias, the patient needs to play the role of a successful and purposeful person. Practice this state in the form of a theatrical scene. After a few sessions, the brain begins to take the new image for granted. As a result, worries and fears dissipate forever.
Method number 2. Aromatherapy
As in most cases, aromatherapy will help get rid of fears, obsessive thoughts and constant anxiety. To cope with phobias, it is important to be able to relax on your own. At the moment of rest, the emotional state should be completely restored.
Aromatherapy helps a lot with depression and stress. The procedure is best combined with psychotherapy. A pleasant aroma allows the body and subconscious to relax, but the root of the problem lies deeper.
Examples
It is futile to count on a specific future - it may not happen. It is futile to prove that you are right; this hunger can never be quenched with evidence. It is futile to make a scandal, counting on agreement and understanding - conflicts lead to destruction. It is vain to count on justice - life has its own plans unknown to us. It is in vain to try to be smart and show off - you are deprived of real emotional intimacy. It is vain to demand love - coercion towards it causes the opposite reaction of hostility. It is in vain to count on patronage - the fear of losing support will not leave you. It is futile to count on reciprocity if it does not exist in the first place. It is futile to protect the child at every step. Reality will not pity him, but will give him a chance to grow up. It is futile to resist the truth; self-deception will not give you peace. It is futile to force yourself to become aware. It, like a dream, is natural - something from the depths begins to spontaneously take an interest in the present.
Obsessive thoughts and fears: how to get rid of them
There is no point in fighting psychological phobias with folk remedies. To do this, you just need to mentally tune in and immerse yourself.
1. Fears and obsessive thoughts are chronic personality disorders. Unfortunately, phobias will have to be confronted throughout your life. There will be positive and negative points. Sometimes phobias will go away or appear.
2. Don't stop after the first successful procedure. Always practice and be prepared. Phobias shouldn't take you by surprise. Work on yourself, don't give up and never despair.
3. Always carry out psychological procedures yourself. Don’t put it off until later and don’t pass it on to your loved ones. You create your own destiny, do not rely on chance.
4. Always try to think positively. Don't blame yourself for anything and don't feed negative phobias and obsessive thoughts. Fears are your main enemy.
5. If possible, consult a qualified psychiatrist. A specialist will easily identify phobias and tell you how to get rid of them with the help of targeted therapy. Medicines do not always help with obsessive thoughts and anxiety.
6. You can resort to various rituals yourself. The point is that you are voluntarily in a state where phobias manifest themselves. In such a mental immersion, you must fight fears and obsessive thoughts.
7. Each time you perform rituals, try to reduce the time you spend in trance. Try to realize that all phobias are only in your head, and you can cope with them.
8. It is not at all necessary to mask your fears and try to distract yourself from them. Just let them into your consciousness and accept them as part of yourself. You will soon understand that phobias are harmless and will not bother you again. In some cases, fears may become your specialty.
Why get rid of desires
Desires are the appropriation of the non-existent: the mind in the imagination makes a movie about the future eclipsing the realities, and accepts it as a guaranteed life scenario. Inflamed obsessive desires are hopes.
Once upon a time I read that the Buddha suggested turning off desires as a cure for all problems. And it seemed to me that this was some kind of transcendental fantasy for fabulous ascetics. How can you just stop wanting? The gut does not obey such spells.
But over the years, I saw how desires fall off on their own when you expose their futility - groundless calculations to get what you want.
Desire radiates the heat of longing while you count on its fulfillment. No calculation - no desire. Therefore, no one seriously dreams of such fantastic things as: world peace, eternal youth and health, superpowers... They dream of what they count on.
You get rid of desire when you become piercingly aware of its meaninglessness. That is, initially “meaning” looms in it. It is also called “secondary benefit”. When you see that the “benefit” is not justified, thinking and behavior change spontaneously.
Are you torn by desire? Realize the groundlessness of the calculation - and the desire will go away. Sometimes awareness hits you instantly, sometimes it requires detailed analysis or “meditation” about the nature of the phenomenon.
